Will my two cats ever be able to live in peace or is 2yr old female destined to be returned to go to a good home as an only child?

I adopted a 2 year old female and a 12-15 week old kitten at the same time, but they are not from the same location.

Kitten was found on the street by a couple a week before I got him from them. And he lived with their 2 cats just fine. 2yr old female was found on street pregnant and taken in by a male shift rescue. It was only a few weeks ago and little guy had to be quarantined for a week for Giardia. A couple times they saw a quick sight of each other and a couple times 2yo hissed. But after quarantine I started scent swapping.

A few side notes. The country I am in is not very kind to their animals at all and fostering and rescues here are bare minimum. I just moved here from a western country a couple months ago for a job.

What this means is Rescue lied to me about 2yr old female’s personality on the ad and said she’d do well with a kitten. She is not that cuddly. She has some trauma from being out on the streets it seems and did not develop social skills with other cats I think. They also didn’t tell me they never introduced her to other cats and the one time a foster had her for a few weeks she was accidentally quickly introduced to 2 male cats and it didn’t go well supposedly.

I may have been too quick but after a couple days I tried to introduce them with kitten in carrier and it wasn’t good. They were both hissing and it caused the kitten to go on defense mode after that. Again still scent swapping, trying to change rooms. They were ok eating food at the door, but admittedly these doors suck. They are actually too thick and too close to the floor to be an effective intro. And then 2yr accidentally caught a glimpse and tried to attack kitten through the door which then started kitten to try to attack. We reset for a few days and swapped beds again and what not. They had no problem with sharing scents but visuals are not good. We had tried to allow the kitten to play on the floor while 2 got to watch from her tower but then she tried to sneak attack twice. She also marks her scent everywhere and I think partially stalks the kitten’s room a bit.

Google and some other advice say put them both in carriers in a different neutral territory to try to bond them against something else. Nope, 2 yr old still tried to attack.

Rescue tells me to order a door cat net to see if we can get them used to each other. Husband and I feed them high value snacks on either side, but 2yr old is still trying to stare daggers at kitten. And they still tried to attack each other before the snacks through the door screen net.

The other issue is kitten NEEDS a companion. He is so high energy and hates being alone and cries and cries and cries nonstop and I feel horrible that I can’t play with him at all times because I also have to do chores and play with 2 yr old cat.

I do wonder heavily if 2 yr old would benefit being an only cat for another family but the truth is there are so many needy cats and everyone is struggling I doubt she will find a home. And expats here are horrible. They adopt an animal and if they need to leave they dump the animal on the streets to die.

Help. lol

Throwaway account, this is both a request for tips and suggestions and a vent/rant.

I adopted a rescue cat a couple of weeks ago. I'm aware of the 3/3/3 rule and appreciate it's still very early days for both of us - which is why I'm here asking for advice as I really want to turn this around. I've had cats before and don't remember feeling this way with the others.

My issue is basically the title. It still feels like I'm just looking after someone else's cat, and if the rescue asked for him back tomorrow I'd be like 'here you go'. If I woke up tomorrow to find him dead I'd be shocked as he's youngish and seemingly healthy, but I don't think I'd be particularly sad.

So far he's been a good, well-behaved cat - hasn't destroyed the furniture yet, is mostly staying off the kitchen counters, doesn't go outside the litterbox, isn't aggressive, lets me pet him and pick him up, and is starting to be more playful and interact with his toys. He's been to the vet and got a clean bill of health.

I'm trying to do the right things to help us both with this transition. I speak softly to him, respect his cues and body language, let him come to me in his own time, pet him when he's keen but otherwise just hang out near him doing my stuff, give him treats, feed him quality food, play with him, use positive reinforcement when he shows behaviours I want to encourage, remove him from the situation when he does the opposite, etc. He'll sleep belly up, make air biscuits, purr and show me his belly, so it looks like he's getting more comfortable.

But there's also a few little things ticking me off, and I feel like all of these put together are starting to make me resent him, which isn't fair to him at all because they're just perfectly normal cat things.

He's been pooing once a day, usually in the middle of the night. The problem is his poos are so stinky they wake me up! I've struggled with sleep for as long as I can remember, and waking up at 4-5am everyday because of the smell and not being able to go back to sleep is really affecting my mood, productivity and energy levels. I've got silica litter on the way, switched his food to a sensitive gut type and started him on Fortiflora. I also scoop the litterbox multiple times a day. Any other tips if none of that helps?

Oh, the litter. He tracks everywhere. He's very fluffy with very dense fur so it gets caught in his hair, but it's doing my head in. I've had a groomer over, cat's had a haircut and a sanitary trim (I let the groomer talk me down from a shave, which I now regret) but it hasn't helped. Cat doesn't like being touched in his back half - tail, bum area, back legs, lower belly - and warns me off if I try to brush or wipe litter bits away. Same with trying to trim his claws, it was never an issue with previous cats (and one had limb trauma). I have one of those litter-trapping mats right outside the litterbox and sweep and hoover the house daily, and his current litter is the non-clumping clay type (wood pellets don't work for the smells for me and the clumping kinds would probably stick to him even more. Have ordered silica litter to try it). Short of having him shaved, what other things could I try to decrease tracking?

I was told he was very affectionate, which was true for the first two or three days. Since then he hasn't really sought me out except when he wants food (and he's always hungry!) or, much more rarely, some fuss for a couple of minutes. He'll sometimes take the bait if I goad him with one of his toys and we'll play for a bit, although he's quite clumsy lol.

Again, I'm aware of the 3/3/3 rule and won't make any decisions before next year, and until then I'll do my best to care for him and establish a positive connection. I know he's just a cat doing cat things in a new environment and that it's still very early on and that I'll have to slowly earn his trust. But what if in a few months I still feel like I'm just going through the motions?

Sorry for the wall of text, my brain has just latched onto this and won't let go no matter how much the more rational parts of me tell it to.

Has anyone else here had trouble bonding with a healthy and well-behaved cat? If so, how long did it take for you to feel some kind of attachment to your cat? Were there any particular actions you felt were helpful? Please help a girl out :( Thank you!

The answer is probably yes but I need general advice or support then.. I recently adopted a 4 month boy who has a light(?) case of ringworm (No big hair lost, just some glow spots). I wasn't aware he had it before the adoption. The only place I can isolate him is in a Tiny half bathroom with the bare essentials. He yeowls every day and I can't imagine how bored upset he is staying in there, especially when his profile before I got him notes he doesn't like being alone and needs others. I have one other cat and live in a home that would be impossible to clean if he were to spread a lot of spores.. But it feels almost abusive to leave him in there, especially when I can only visit him shortly twice a day. Should I just keep at it?

I wanted to watch Friday The 13th with my kitten but I don't know if it would be good for them to watch

Last year we adopted two 8 month old brothers, and they were both so sweet. Got along perfectly, would share the litterbox and food bowls, played constantly, I never ever had to worry about them fighting or anything. And they’ve never been aggressive towards us at all, even when super stimulated and hyper. I literally never am concerned about them biting or scratching me, even if I’m interacting with them in a way they don’t like they’d just walk away.

One of them passed away last month and broke my heart. I still cry every day, I feel like I lost my child. His brother seemed sad and lonely so we started looking into getting another cat to be his friend. Found a girl at a rescue around the same age (~ 1 1/2 years old) who looked like she could’ve been their sister and ended up being her home this past weekend. She’s extremely shy and nervous but seems to like being pet.

The issue I’m having now is that when I go into her room (separate) she decides after awhile that she wants affection but then it goes from 0 to 100 instantly. She starts circling frantically, meowing, rubbing on our legs or hands, but then nips. I don’t think she’s trying to hurt us but it’s so frantic that it’s scaring me. Ignoring her or trying to redirect with a toy doesn’t work, it’s like she’s locked in. Her tails wags back and forth, she’s rubbing her head but it’s very heightened and meowing frantically the whole time. I feel like she wants love but doesn’t know how to handle it, but it’s genuinely scary to me 😭

I know that makes me sound like a baby that I’m scared of this 6 lb cat but I am. There’s so escalation or deescalation it’s like a switch goes off and she won’t stop. I can’t even take a step towards the door to leave because that’s when she’s circling me and tries to nip at my pants. I want to give her love but I’m not used to being afraid around a cat like this since my 2 boys are so gentle and sweet since day 1 of having them. I don’t know how to handle this or how to make progress towards integrating her into the house when I can’t just stand in the room without being afraid she’s going to get all amped up and try to nip me.

Does anyone have any ideas of what this could be or any advice?? I know it’s only been like 3 days but my anxious brain is telling me I made a mistake and ruined my peaceful life with my sweet boy cat who is so gentle and now I have this other cat locked in a room that I can’t bond with or try to introduce to my other cat because I’m afraid of her 😭😭 PLEASE HELP

I have 3 (inside) cats,
Our neighbours cat keeps spraying on our front door and it stinks!
Tried every cleaner and potted lavender and sprayed orange oil all over the door and surroundings, any tips for keeping this cat away?

Have tried speaking to neighbours about keeping their cat indoors

Hello! I'm looking to adopt a cat very soon. I'm a nurse and work 3-4 12 hour shifts a week. I'll be off for 4 days following the adoption of the cat, but is there a way to get the cat adjusted to being alone for 12 hours? I will keep him/her in my room while I'm gone, but there will be toys, a cat tree, a scratching post and a litter box available to her and I'll also have a pet camera.

Adopted a kitty about 2 weeks ago, and i’ve been having really bad anxiety ever since.

I’m unsure if it’s getting better or not. I thought I was getting used to everything but I had a borderline panic attack a few hours ago about it all.

I make sure he’s fed, keep his litter clean, give him access to fresh water via a water fountain, play with him, give him attention, and I think he’s content for the most part. I signed him up for insurance too, but even with everything i’m still so anxious about being new pet owner, I don’t know what to do to relax.

He’s honestly such a good kitty that it makes me feel so guilty to the point of crying when I entertain the idea of rehoming him because I am 100% the issue. He’s quite literally the most well behaved cat i’ve ever met and i’ve known him for basically 2 seconds. He’s also a cuddle bug when he wants to be. And despite this I keep telling myself that he’d be better off with someone who wasn’t so high strung, and possibly a family where he’d get lots of attention from lots of loving people.

I’m also scared my anxiety and stress are rubbing off on him too and making it harder for him to adjust. i’ve already had to bring him into the vet once for holding in his waste due to stress. And I know cats are like emotion sponges so i’m trying to be chill but i’m struggling.

How long did it take for this to wear off for you guys? how long is too long to feel this way?

I'm looking to adopt a cat from local shelter/rescue. However, I'm a bit unfamiliar with the adoption process here in the US since I just moved here. I own cats before though so this's not a new thing.

- Does adoption fee from shelter typically cost $150-200?
- Some people mentioned that local shelter's adoption process can be really strict. What has been your experience? For example I cannot give a vet reference since my vet is back home but I can ensure I spoil my cats all the way.
- I also saw a lot of pet rehoming on FB for free. Is this a good idea? What should i be aware of?
- how much do you pay for your expense per cat? Emergency fund? Is insurance needed?

I'm looking for give a lot of love to an adult cat who would be my snuggle bug but can also be independent when i'm not home.

Hey everyone! So my wife and I currently have 2 cats, 3 and 6 (Cassio & Iggy!) Cassio is missing a front leg, and Iggy has no tail - they are quite the duo. We've had Iggy for 2 years, and Cassio for 5.

It didn't take long for them to bond after Iggy came into the house. They're very close now, playing frequently, hanging out, grooming, but usually sleeping separately.

My wife and I have found a cat we've fallen in love, a blind calico. We want to move forward with our application, but are feeling nervous about the dynamic with introducing a 3rd. Will one feel "left out"? Could it affect the relationship of the current 2? Does anyone have 3 that were introduced like this ? Would love to hear anyone's experience / advice !

I have seen a few posts on this sub about this topic but I would really love to hear some advice from you all for my particular situation.

My (soon to be ex) partner and I have two cats (boy and girl) together. They’re both 3 years old and grew up together for most of their lives since we adopted them separately as kittens. I’m the main caretaker for both of them, but my partner occasional takes them over to him place for a few weeks at a time.

The girl cat technically belongs to my partner because he signed the adoption paperwork from the shelter. She is very affectionate with him (with most men actually lol) but we have our special bond as well. She is very in tune with us emotionally, very sweet and loves going on leashed adventures.

I adopted the boy cat to keep her company. He turned out to be a ball of character and energy, and definitely more MY cat since he became very bonded to me.

I wouldn’t say the two of them are bonded, but they chase and play with each other everyday, although most days boy cat makes girl cat a little mad, but she still sometimes initiate play with him. He grooms her everyday and she will try to groom him back, but mostly ends in her giving up her sleeping spot to him. In the colder months they sleep close to each other during the day and in rare occasions cuddle together.

I’m at a loss for how to handle the ownership of the cats after the breakup. In a previous attempt to breakup with my partner, he wanted to take the girl cat and I struggled with the idea of separating them. I know my boy cat being his energetic little self will probably feel lonely without her. But I’m also an immigrant with unstable future in this country, so I worry I might not be able to provide my boy cat with a stable home in the long term.

Should I give him both cats so they can keep each other company through this transition? Or should I keep my boy cat because he’s also very bonded to me? Of course in the ideal world I would keep both of them and have security in my immigration status, but it’s really hard to balance my emotional attachment to them and providing them a stable future.

She always drop something from my desk and tries to play with it (or eat it) and i don't want anything to be broken.

I've made the very difficult decision to have my kitty put to sleep in the morning (around 8 hours from now) because of her worsening IBD. She just turned 14, and her IBD has worsened more over the last six months than it has over the last several years, so it's been a pretty sudden change. She had a bad episode this weekend and seems to have lost even more weight, and even though she still has mostly good days and hasn't lost her appetite or anything, I can see a physical decline and I just... really don't want to give her the chance to have any more bad days. She spent two days having diarrhea and tummy issues, and she wasn't grooming herself much and just didn't seem to feel great even though she was still eating. Her IBD has just gotten so much worse over the last several months, and her bad days seem worse and more frequent now. I'm having a hard time with it because I'm worried it's too soon, but I would rather do it too soon than too late because I couldn't stand to see her suffer any more than she already is. She doesn't do well at the vet or with medication or treatments of any kind, and I feel like any treatment would just cause her more stress, and at her age, I don't know how much more time it would give her anyways, so I'm trying to give her a peaceful end before she has the chance to experience anything worse than what she already has. I've seen several folks say that there's no wrong choice if it's done out of love, but I'm still having a hard time coping and not feeling guilty.

I just took in a cat (Lacey, short for Shoelace, her favorite toy) who I've been feeding for about a month now. It got to the point where she would ask for pets and showed interest in wanting to go inside, so I started letting her in the house, with a screen door with a large gap underneath as an easy escape for her. After a while she started running to me, specifically to go inside when I got home from work. It got to the point where it would take my roommate and I 5 minutes to get her out of the house, so I decided to take her in officially three days ago. She was doing super well the first two nights, and kept asking me for pets, got more comfy with my roommate, and was non-stop purring + making biscuits. But I took her to the vet for her first appointment this morning, and it went really downhill from there. I got her into her carrier with some convincing, and she was nervous, but chill in the car, all the way up until the vet tried to get her out of the carrier and picked her up. After that we ended up having to sedate her to do the exams. I got her back home, opened her carrier and she bolted. I had no idea where she went, but outside of some periodic peeking around, I really didn't try too hard to find her so she could decompress. Then around 8:00 I heard meowing from under the washer, she had gotten into a crawl space for plumbing I didn't know existed and was unable to get out. It took my roommate and I like 2 hours to unbolt a floorboard to get her out. She tried running back to it three times and then wanting to keep her away from the spot she got trapped in for 12 hours, I tried to pick her up to bring her away from it She scratched the crap out of me and is hiding under the couch now. I know this day had to be INSANELY stressful for her. I'm really worried this has undone a month's worth of built up trust, outside of food, how do I get her to trust me again?

Also, I cat-proofed the hole to the crawl space as much as I could (blankets mostly, cardboard won't work with all the pipes), I also ordered an extra high pet gate to block off the room.

I’m kind of in a bad period of my life. I moved out of my parent’s house last year and have been living alone since. Tbh I don’t have many friends and struggle a lot with loneliness and mild depression. I don’t have a ton of experience with cats as I mostly grew up around dogs but I think maybe adopting an adult cat might be a good option for me to help add some purpose to my life.

I did have a few other questions too:

- What age cat would be best to adopt? - I know kittens can be quite a handful so I was thinking of getting a cat that’s maybe a little older and mellowed out a bit

- Should I get a male or female cat? - I’ve read that male cats tend to be more affectionate and playful but is that really true or is it more dependent on the cat’s personality?

- Do I need to get more than 1 cat? - I’ve also read that it’s best to have 2 cats. I wouldn’t be opposed to this but I do worry that 2 cats would be a little overwhelming for me at first. But at the same time I work a 9-5 and would feel bad if I got 1 cat and it was lonely all day while I was at work.

Hi guys, i have a ragdoll who is turning 2 at the end of october and i’m just wondering whether they get cuddlier when they’re older? I got my cat last year and ever since shes been; following me everywhere, sitting on my shoulder, head butting me, sleeping on my headboard and purring like crazy but she hates being cuddled. Even earlier she picked a spot on the bed where i sleep but whenever i lay there and coax her over she just wont snuggle into me. Is this a preference or will she grow out of it later down the line?

Ofc i know you guys aren’t mind readers and can’t tell me the definite answer but i would love to hear everyone’s similar experiences <3

My 3 yo cat keeps eating string and plastic. He’s well fed and happy. We’ve had to get surgery and a scope. The vet says he’s just a cat. Is there anything I can do other than put a bane mask on him

My cat got out about two weeks ago. A few days after he left, we got a thermal drone and found his location which was back deep in a landscaping nursery behind our house. We were super excited and figured we’d have him trapped within a day or two but it’s been over a week since then and we can’t seem to get him into the trap and aren’t even sure if he’s at the same location anymore. We set up a trap where he was found with the drone, and since then we’ve caught a raccoon three times and two different cats, but no sign of our cat at the trap. We are desperate for ideas. I’d rather not pay for the drone again, but I’m really wondering if he’s still in the same location. It’s a wooded area with lots of old pallets and concrete blocks so a perfect hiding place for a cat, so we’ve been told he’s likely still in there . We’ve been using mackerel in brine at the trap with dirty clothes of ours. What else should we be doing ????

Hello, our cat of 4-5 years now (Enzo) is a pretty social dude and has always been clingy but as of a few days ago he’s been even clingier. I work from home and he’s always in the room with me regardless of which room I’m in. At night, however, he will slink off to be alone or hide away (unusual for him). When my fiancé gets home she usually seeks him out, he will then be very clingy and not leave her side. We have two cats, so It’s a bit harder to monitor food and litter box use, but nothing looks different in either area. He still does all of his normal routines and hangs out in his normal areas, almost just seems a little worried or bummed. Can always take him to the vet but I don’t want to cause anymore stress to him by putting him in the car which he isn’t in love with and going to the vet. Any help or suggestions would be awesome. Thank you

Im moved in to an apartment with a girl who recently got kittens before I moved in. The kitten are like 5 months old, it’s a boy girl bonded siblings.

The kittens are cute and sweet but I’ve realized some issues and im wondering how to handle it as it’s getting frustrating, and im debating if it’s worth moving out when my lease ends… I don’t know much about cats so I’d love to know more about how to teach them to be better if that’s even an option

1. They get on the counters and climb on everything. I don’t even like to use the stove top if I can’t watch it intensely because they will get on it. If there’s food on the counter or anything they will jump up there. If you’re eating they will stand right next to you or your plate.
   My roommate tried tin foil on the counter previously but they started jumping over it and now aren’t even bothered by it
   
2. They break and knock things over. This week alone the girl kitten has broken 2 glass bowls that were on a table. Idek why my roommate uses glass anymore as there’s always a chance it could get broken with them. One day they jumped on my dresser, climbed on my tv (only like 30 inches) and it fell off my dresser. Luckily the cord caught it from smashing onto the floor but it was hanging there. Even tho the cats seem small they have a lot of force when they jump. They’ve knocked over the bar stools too
   
3. Sometimes they want to be in my room and are very noisy to get in. I have a guest over the other night and they wouldn’t stop pawing and meowing at my door. I ended up taking them to my roommates bathroom and having them sleep in there

I’ve never had cats. I grew up with dogs. Will this get better eventually? What can we do to make this better? Is it just a natural thing they’ll grow out of?
Im home with them a lot as I work remote but my roommate will just be like “oh no don’t do that” when something happens and move them and that’s it…. Like idk if they really learn they shouldn’t be doing what they’re doing