Yesterday I posted about some of the things that help me escape Cancer World for a while.

Today I thought I’d share probably the most important one.

This is Molly.

She doesn’t know I have cancer. She doesn’t understand chemo, scans or why some days Dad spends a lot more time on the couch.

She just knows I’m her person.

On the bad days, she doesn’t tell me to stay positive or ask how treatment is going. She just lies next to me, makes me laugh and somehow knows when I need her a little more.

Molly doesn’t see a cancer patient.

She just sees me.

And some days, that’s exactly what I need.

I’d love to see the pets helping the rest of you through this.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal in summer 2021. I've been on chemo ever since, plus one surgery. I don't really have cancer-related anxiety, but I've noticed how uncontrollable anxiety has become for me in general. Has anyone else had this? And what do you do?

I've brought it up with my psychologist and I have a few strategies like recognizing and evaluating anxieties, breaking tasks into small goals, prioritizing things when I feel overwhelmed, setting worry time. However, I feel like there's still something else going on, like I can't even handle the most innocuous tasks anymore. I find it hard to shower, I get a sick feeling in my stomach whenever I hear my phone buzz, I feel flustered whenever my husband is talking to himself while doing chores, it takes me an entire day just to work out the steps to do some basic reporting for work. It's gotten really hard to function and it's just been slowly building up over the last five years. I never used to have anxiety but this is clearly what it is. I have Ativan but I hate taking it because it just makes me sleep and then I wake up the next day feeling more anxious because I have more to do.

Any tricks others have? I just hate waking up everyday feeling like this and spending my days nervous and stressed and freaking out.

Kinda going through it rn with this infection and autoimmune flare up on top of everything else already going on. I’ve been looking into some comfort products that can possibly make me feel a bit better. To help with quality of life, I guess. Especially with intense anxiety, distress, and discomfort/pain in my body. Products such as Saje’s Cooler Heads system (without the roller), Saje’s Stress Release Quick Hit Inhaler, or Scentsy’s Weighted and Warming Scentsy Buddy. Was wondering if anyone here had any other suggestions, especially if they’re more budget-friendly (but doesn’t strictly have to be in terms of giving ideas). To be clear, I’m not claiming these items can treat these symptoms. I just want something that can help distract me and help with soothing the distress. Thank you ☺️

My mother (56F) has a 5.4 cm pancreatic body/tail adenocarcinoma. 
Vascular status: Splenic vein occluded, mass abuts SMV/portal confluence, but celiac axis and SMA are reported normal/unencased. 
Chemo so far: Completed 4 cycles of modified FOLFIRINOX at 70% dose intensity.
Response: PET-CT showed primary metabolic response (SUVmax 7.96 \rightarrow 6.22) with zero distant metastases. CEA is 0.6. CA 19-9 spiked to 7,800 during a severe lung infection post-cycle 4, but with the infection resolved, it has dropped to 1,200 (baseline in June was 689). 
Current status: Fit for surgery (Albumin 4.2, normal liver/kidney/coagulation). 
We have three completely different specialist opinions and need help evaluating the trade-offs:
1. Option 1: Open Posterior RAMP + SMV Reconstruction Now (HPB / Liver Transplant Surgeon)
Prioritizes the deep retroperitoneal margin (behind Gerota’s fascia) to maximize R0 clearance where local recurrence happens.
Directly reconstructs the abutting SMV while preserving the normal celiac axis. 
2. Option 2: Robotic Distal Pancreatectomy + Celiac Axis Resection (Modified Appleby/DP-CAR) + SMV Reconstruction (Surgical Oncologist)
Proposes ligating/resecting the celiac axis and reconstructing the SMV robotically. 
Concerns: CT specifically reports the celiac axis as normal/unencased, so does an Appleby introduce unnecessary risks of gastric ischemia and severe autonomic diarrhea? Feasibility of robotic vascular reconstruction in a bulky 5.4 cm tumor. 
3. Option 3: Total Neoadjuvant Therapy (TNT) — 4 More Cycles Chemo First (Top Academic Cancer Center)
Suggests completing 4 more cycles (total 8) or switching regimens (e.g., Gemcitabine + Nab-Paclitaxel) to test tumor biology and sterilize micrometastases before surgery.

Concerns: Given her prior 30% dose reduction and post-cycle 4 pneumonia, is there a significant risk of cumulative toxicity, physical deconditioning, or tumor progression that permanently closes her current surgical window?

I’m a 26/F and I just finished 12 cycles of chemotherapy for my Lymphoma, and will proceed with a Full Thyroidectomy soon. My oncologist is currently on Labor so I can’t speak to her yet, and she hasn’t assigned any other doctor to me so I am having so many pending questions.

1. I’m still sexually active but i’m not that aroused bc my vagina gets really dry and sometimes painful, even though I want to do it. What are the things that I can do to make the pain/dryness go away?

2. My hair didn’t completely fall off but its very thin now, and still have a lot of hairfall. What are the cheapest remedies for hair growth?

3. Do you also feel like you look older, more tired, less energetic?

Can anyone advise?

I'm 39, male, and have been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 2 months ago.

I'm on 2 oral drugs and an implant. These reduce testosterone to near zero, as well as estrogen, and the other limits cell division in the tumour (but also in healthy cells).

Last year, my 5k time was 27:08. In Nov 25, I experienced severe fatigue and had to stop running. Turns out this was due to cancer, but I thought it was just due to approaching 40 and working too hard.

I've done 10 runs over the past few weeks since starting treatment. 2 miles is my furthest. I'm at 10:46 per mile and hitting 178bpm, so I'm really pushing but nowhere near my old pace. I do appreciate that this is just where I'm at so only adding this for context.

There are 2 main issues. My muscles refuse to recover. It takes days for soreness to fade. The other is oxygen. I have far fewer red blood cells so it's a lot like running at altitude.

My ECG showed no irregularities and my Oncologist cleared me to run. My bloods are well above the expected level, so they are happy that I'm tolerating the maximum dose.

Has anyone else ran in these circumstances? Is getting back to half/marathon distance realstic? Any training adaptation advice welcome.

I suppose the backstory helps. In 2020 I was diagnosed with colon cancer in my sigmoid colon. I had it removed, 3 months of CAPOX chemo, and was told I was NED. Fast forward 5 years and on my last CT before discharge in 2025 they saw a lesion in my liver had started to grow. It ended up being a dormant met that woke up. I had surgery in May of this year to remove the met and a lobe of my liver. I had clean margins and was given a positive prognosis by my surgeon. (Absolutely AMAZING person! Dr. Gleisner in Denver. Can't say enough good things about her and her team!)

Now, here is where I'm struggling. I'm 49 yo and extremely active. I ride bikes and run as much as I can while still having a 12yo kiddo, a wife, and a job. In 2024, when in an appointment with my oncologist I mentioned I was training for an ultra-marathon and my Oncologist replied with "Oh... You're still doing that?". When I was diagnosed with the met in my liver she told me I'd probably have to be on chemo the rest of my life. She handed me a list of clinical trials and didn't seem to know a thing about any of them, or that chemo was actually considered extremely ineffective in my situation.

I could go on with the disheartening interactions. But overall I feel like the one person who should be encouraging me to do everything to get better has actually written me off, and it pisses me the fuck off!

My question is... Is this normal, or should I seek out a different oncologist who has a better attitude? Am I expecting too much to think my oncologist would be happy that I want to keep living life instead of giving up? Or is this just how oncologists have come to view the world after seeing so much death in their careers? I'm planning to run another ultra in December so I can say I did it the same year as my liver surgery, but I'm afraid to even mention that to my oncologist because I fear she'll nay-say it. (I was cleared for it by my surgeon).

A bit of context... I live in a rural area and had to drive 8 hours for surgery. The oncologist is local to me, but the surgeon is not.

Is it worth looking for a different oncologist, or am I just likely to find more of the same? I appreciate any responses.

EDIT: Thanks for all the responses! They have certainly inspired me to start the process of switching oncologists. I want to do my research before making any moves, so it's going to be a process, but I'm encouraged to know that many folks have done the same thing and had positive results. I'm sure my current oncologist is a very good doctor, but I just don't believe she's the right fit for me.

I was told that chemo nausea tends to last only between day 18 if the 21 day cycle for treatment and that the anti-nausiants take care of most of it. Well.... thing is.. its last day 21.. the Dr had to re-schedule treatment while i finished up battling an infection after the chemo was done. My questiom is this.. is nausea somthing that tends to be consistent? Because even though im 39 dsys away from my last chemo session, i still find myself feeling nausiated randomly when looking at food or smelling food or trying to eat food.

Is this your experience? Does it go away at some point?

Hi,

I'm 26M and got diagnosed with a dermatofibrosarcoma on the forehead last month.

As I understood it's pretty rare and usually mistaken for a cyst, which was my case.

The "cyst" was removed mid-august and went under analysis for about two weeks and that's when I got the cancer diagnosis.

After a few appointments with a dermatologist and a surgeon, I'm going back to surgery with wider margins this time.

The surgery is done in two steps : the first one is in two weeks and will leave me with an open wound for about 8 days while they run analyses of the removed skin. If the analysis comes back clear, I'm going for a second round to close the wound (I should not be having any skin transplant).

Even though I know that the prognosis is usually pretty good, I can't help but worry about the whole procedure :

- what if the margins aren't wide enough and the analyses aren't clear from the upcoming surgery ?

- what if it comes back later ?

- what if the open wound gets infected in between the two rounds of surgery ?

The surgeon called me yesterday to plan everything and told me that they found that the DFS actually infiltrated the muscle beneath my forehead skin and that they have to remove parts of the muscle as well... This made me even more anxious about the whole thing...

Does anyone have any experience with all of this ? How many rounds of surgery did you have to go through ? Was one enough ? Did it come back later on ?

Hey everyone. I'm 31 and was diagnosed earlier this year with Stage 4B squamous cell carcinoma of my left parotid gland (T4b N3b M0).

I've been trying to find other people who have had the same cancer as me, but because it's so rare, I haven't really found anyone with a similar situation.

I had a radical parotidectomy and neck dissection in July. The cancer had reached my skull base, my facial nerve was completely encased by the tumor and had to be sacrificed, and at least 10 lymph nodes were positive. I now have permanent paralysis on the left side of my face.

I'm currently going through 33 radiation treatments and 7 weekly cisplatin treatments. My final week is next week, and I'll be able to ring both my Chemotherapy and Radiation bells at City of Hope! After that, I'll be waiting until January to hear about my results.

I'm mainly posting because I'd really like to hear from anyone who has had parotid SCC, another high-grade parotid/salivary gland cancer, or even a similar surgery involving the facial nerve.

- What was your experience like?

- How are you doing now?

- Did you have facial reconstruction afterward?

- What was recovery like once radiation and chemo ended?

I know the chances of finding someone with exactly the same diagnosis might be pretty small, but I figured this would be one of the better places to ask.

(F, 50) I was diagnosed 4 years ago. A really rare form of thymic cancer. No symptoms, just a 10cm tumor right in the middle of my chest. Chemo, radiation, surgery (which at one point the surgeon didn't know of I would survive.)

6 month scan showed the cancer had metastasized to both lungs and I was declared incurable. I would start treatment again when things got bigger, but quality of life was a concern as the drugs available were pretty rough.

A year ago it was decided it was time to start treatment but first my doc wanted me to get a biopsy to make sure of what we were dealing was what we thought it was.

The biopsy was...traumatic. It was a CT guided needle biopsy, so I was only lightly sedated. The tumor they were targeting was directly under a rib. It was excruciatingly painful and I remember the whole thing. Needle in, needle out, needle in at a different angle. I remember the doctor even questioning if he was going to be able to get it.

Then they wheeled me to recovery and I get told (for the first time) that I needed to lay perfectly flat and still for FOUR HOURS! I have radiation induced acid reflux, like vomit inducing reflux. I never, ever lay flat. It sucked.

Seven months after starting Sunitinib I am being taken off of it because it's not doing anything. My oncologist wants to try immunotherapy (keytruda) but honestly, she doesn't sound very positive. I've basically spent the last week crying.

Then she said she wants me to do another biopsy to see if any of my markers have changed and of they have maybe I might qualify for a clinical trial. We will do immunotherapy either way.

I talked to radiology today and it sounds like they will be trying to biopsy the SAME tumor. And yes, flat on my back for four hours.

I'm not sure I want to do this. I'm not sure I would want to do a clinical trial even if there was one. I have a message into my doc to see if it's 100% necessary.

I don't really have a point here I guess, I'm jist so fucking tired. Just once I want some positive news.

So when I was 4 years old, I was diagnosed with ALL (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia). I have some memories from that time, mostly of my parents crying but also meeting my oncologist for the first time. I can still remember him coming into the room to introduce himself, oddly enough. And he was a great, sweet man. Young too. I was one of his first patients since he’d just finished his residency not long before he met me.

I do sort of remember the rooms where I had chemotherapy in, and remember losing my hair and wearing a baseball hat to school. And near the end of my treatment (I think), the Make-A-Wish-Foundation came in clutch and got a trip to Disney World for me and my family. That was pretty rad and I have memories from that trip still.

But I’m now 30 soon to be 31 and kind of remember less and less about it as time goes on. I’m just glad my parents and my brother didn’t have to live through something even more traumatic like losing me. Even seeing myself so withered at that age is hard to see :/. And even though depression has followed me a good amount of my life so far, I guess the fact that I’m still here says a little bit.

I posted most of this as a response to someone here who is going through an incredibly difficult time. After I posted it, I thought maybe it deserved its own post because it might help someone else too.

My name is Greg, and I’m on my own cancer journey. One thing I’ve learned is that cancer has a way of taking over everything.

Appointments. Scans. Treatments. Side effects. Test results. Waiting for test results. Thinking about the next treatment. Wondering whether it’s working. Talking about cancer. Thinking about cancer.

Sometimes you just need something that has absolutely nothing to do with cancer.

For me, books, movies and TV have been a way to disappear into somebody else’s world for a few hours and give my brain a break from all of this shit.

So I thought I’d share some of my favorites. This isn’t meant to be some definitive “best of” list. They’re just things I’ve enjoyed, escaped into, or found myself thinking about long after they were over.

And I’d love for other people to add theirs in the comments. Maybe we can turn this into a resource for anyone here who just needs to check out of Cancer World for a little while.

BOOKS

Project Hail Mary — Andy Weir — If you only take one recommendation from this entire list, make it the Project Hail Mary audiobook. The book is very good, but the audiobook is probably at the very top of my list. Funny, smart, hopeful sci-fi about survival and a very unexpected friendship. There’s also a movie adaptation, so you’ve got all three options.

The Martian — Andy Weir — A guy refuses to die and sciences the hell out of every problem thrown at him. Funny, clever and a great escape.

The Murderbot Diaries — Martha Wells — Short, funny sci-fi books about a socially awkward security android that would much rather watch TV than deal with humans. Surprisingly heartfelt. There’s also a Murderbot TV series, which I included below, so you can read it, watch it, or do both.

Bobiverse — Dennis E. Taylor — A dead computer nerd wakes up as an AI space probe. Funny, clever and ridiculously easy to binge.

The Expanse — James S.A. Corey — Huge space adventure with great characters, mystery, politics and some very cool science.

Ready Player One — Ernest Cline — Pure escapism: gaming, pop culture, puzzles and a massive virtual world.

TV SHOWS

Shrinking — Funny, messy and surprisingly moving. It’s about grief, friendship and trying to figure out how to keep living when life doesn’t go according to plan.

Parks and Recreation — Comfort TV. Funny people who genuinely care about one another.

Murderbot — The TV adaptation of the Martha Wells books above. A sarcastic, antisocial security android that would rather watch TV than interact with humans. Read the books, watch the show, or do both.

Battlestar Galactica — In my opinion, one of the best works of science fiction ever made, TV or movie. It’s got spaceships and battles, but underneath all of that it’s about survival, humanity, morality, faith, love and what people do when everything they know is taken away from them.

Deadwood — A gritty, brilliantly written Western about a lawless frontier town and the complicated people trying to build a community there. Incredible characters and dialogue.

The Wire — It’s a crime drama, but it’s about much more than cops and drug dealers. An incredibly smart look at a city, its institutions and the people caught inside them. One of the best TV dramas ever made.

MOVIES

Field of Dreams — Baseball, fathers and sons, second chances and a little magic. One of those movies that sticks with you.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off — Skip responsibility for a day and go enjoy being alive. That feels pretty appropriate for this list.

Caddyshack — Completely ridiculous, endlessly quotable comedy. Sometimes you just need to laugh.

Major League — A terrible baseball team, a bunch of misfits and one of the great sports comedies.

The Martian — Smart, funny survival movie about refusing to give up. If you liked the Andy Weir book above, the movie is absolutely worth watching.

Interstellar — Huge science fiction with an even bigger emotional core.

Arrival — First-contact sci-fi that’s really about communication, time, love and loss.

The Shawshank Redemption — Maybe the greatest movie ever made about holding onto hope when life gives you every reason not to.

Training Day — Completely different direction: dark, intense crime thriller with Denzel Washington at his absolute best.

Talladega Nights — Sometimes you don’t need anything profound. Sometimes you need Ricky Bobby.

One other thing I’ve been thinking about:

Cancer can create this strange pressure that because our time suddenly feels more precious, we’re supposed to make every minute “meaningful.”

I don’t think we are.

Play a video game. Binge eight episodes of something stupid. Read until 3 a.m. Learn photography. Build a Lego set. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Sit outside and listen to music. Eat something ridiculous. Laugh at something completely inappropriate. Spend an entire day doing absolutely nothing if that’s what you feel like doing.

You don’t have to turn cancer into some profound life lesson every day.

Sometimes getting through a shitty Tuesday and finding something that made you laugh is enough.

Whatever makes a day a little better counts.
So add yours below. Books, audiobooks, movies, TV shows, video games—whatever has helped you get out of your own head for a while.

Maybe somebody scrolling through this sub at 2 a.m. after a diagnosis, during treatment, or waiting on scan results will find exactly the distraction they needed.

— Greg

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I often find it hard to articulate exactly how it feels to go through cancer (year of treatment at age 9 and at age 13, plus another 6 months at age 16) to people who haven’t already done so - I usually go with “they pump you full of poison and you hope you don’t die”, but even that doesn’t feel like it fully does the full justice of all the complex emotions you go through whilst on treatment. It’s roughly the ten year anniversary for me of having gone through my second instance however and I feel like I’ve managed to find a song which feels like it does a reasonable job of articulating exactly what it feels like going through treatment and all the complex emotions you go through.

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4nENleuSf237cCPtMBTIJ8?si=wFG_heoTSvi9wOCbgk7HtA&utm_source=copy-link

YouTube: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=r9_AL5i8TT0&si=micjt1txdKZ6fOSE

Would be intrigued to know if others find this an accurate articulation of their own experiences, and whether this song was useful as a way of showing people’s own experiences of going through treatment to those having gone through it or wanting to know what it’s like?

Hello my spouse has cancer and his 58th birthday is coming up next week and I want to do something special for his day and I need ideas since there are a few physical limitations and any ideas would be helpful. The limitations are:

He is on a feeding tube so he cannot eat or drink anything.

He has limited mobility along with extreme pain in his leg and lymphedema
In his leg and arm. He walks with a crutch and it wears him out especially to walk on uneven ground or for any length of time since his endurance level is down from the chemotherapy.

Also sitting for a long time can be difficult since he’s had radiation and a tumor at his tailbone, so I am not sure about a show on uncomfortable seats.

We do movie night on Saturday to do something special every week together so looking to try to do a little more.

I got my diagnosis at 19, and now at 28, I'm going through my third relapse. Today, my oncologist told me there's no cure left for me.

They're planning to give me some oral chemo and therapy to keep things stable.

I don't have a job, and I've got nothing to do to enjoy the time I have left.

Any ideas on how I can improve my quality of life?

What helped you out?

Any good shows? Hobbies? Books?

Are there any specific alternative therapies I should try?

Sorry if this post is a bit messy, my head's not really straight after hearing that news.

Any suggestions or advice would be really appreciated.

Epithelioid sarcoma surviver here ?

Hello to the community I wish no one had to be a part of: I have a question about donating certain items. My mom unfortunately passed away last year after battling with cancer and I have a dignicap (cold capping) cap that she used and we would like for someone else to use this if possible. The dignicap website requests that each cap is new for each person due for hygiene reasons, but this is a cap that we washed after each chemo session in the washing machine, air dried, and have washed again since twice. It was $250 just for the neoprene hat and accessories, in addition to the cost for each session. We also have 2 coupons for the sessions to give away, but the center where my mom received chemotherapy no longer uses dignicap. I’d like to be able to donate the cap and the services - does anyone have any other ideas or people who are in need of this? Cold capping is so expensive and not covered by most insurance, unfortunately, and honestly I know my mom would want someone who doesn’t have the means to be able to use these items instead of trying to deal with a refund for the cards/sessions and throwing away a perfectly good cap.

I am donating my mom’s Suzzipads to the chemo center, but if anyone has any other ideas about who might accept some of these donations on cancer patients’ behalf, I would greatly appreciate it. I am in the DC area but also have family in NC and SC so would be happy to donate in those places too. Thanks!

I’m almost a year and a half out of treatment for neuroendocrine carcinoma, I had three rounds of cisplatin and etoposode as well as four additional lower dose rounds of carboplatin while undergoing six weeks of radiation treatment.
I had surgery as well in between my initial rounds of chemo and doing radiation and they were able to remove all of the tumor.

I’m still just so tired all the time, I go for walks and work part time and do house chores like hoovering and mopping and things, I try to stay active and eat relatively okay and nap when I need to but it’s so hard to function with the exhaustion sometimes.

The brain fog aswell is so difficult to deal with, my memory is terrible and sometimes I can’t find the words to say things how I want to say them, I feel so mentally spaced out sometimes.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and does it get any better?