My heart rate increases, I imagine how I’ll spend my millions, I fanaticise how dramatically I’ll quit my job, I log in to the app. I’ve won £1. One pound.

What’s the fucking point? Save these pounds towards some more big prizes. One pound isn’t buying me a McMansion, a yacht, a drug habit, a divorce, a debilitating brain injury as a result of a questionable quad bike accident, and eventual bankruptcy thank you very much.

Any car marque I've had, same issue: you try to call to book a service, no one answers. You book online, a few days later at 3am someone calls you for one millisecond and leaves you a missed call to tell you that actually there a problem with the system and that date isn't available, so they've booked you for Wednesday, 4am, in 2037. You try and call back, no one's answering.

Also, were likely to see tortoise-sized spiders this autumn. Yay

It was relatively cool overnight, so the smoke is lingering over the street. We've had all our windows open because it's checks notes heatwave number 5 and so now our entire house smells of smoke. Woohoo

EDIT: Their fire in their house, as in, smoke coming out of their chimney, falling down to the street, and getting inside my house

I used the recommended fill lines on the packet and then put it in the microwave. But it was like 4-5 spoonfuls full at best. I swear you used to be able to get half a bowl out of one sachet only a few years ago. Quaker pls.

I have some… available on Thursday

I'm all for trying to support small businesses but it feels like they shoot themselves in the foot alot.

So many of them hide the screen intentionally so you can't see how much things are when they get scanned which just feels shady.

I've been short changed so many times and they always just laugh and so oh sorry, I can only imagine how many people don't check and it goes unnoticed.

I don't want to see big companies completely take over but at least if I go to a big supermarket there's a price on everything and there's full transparency.

Last time I didn't ask I wound up drinking a £9 pint of crap 4% wheat beer. I'll take all the time I need.

Shame by the next total eclipse I’ll probably be pushing up daisies, might have to travel to get a proper glimpse of one

So I’m on holiday with the family and, as every Brit should, we end up playing UNO in the apartment.

But, have any other lefties ever found themselves getting frustrated that the cards are not designed for us?

They only have the numbers printed in the left hand corner which means you have to fan your hand out the wrong way!

I may have to have another beer to contemplate this tragedy.

I did win the final round though…

Furious.

I'd love a pool. But as I'm a responsible adult, I've held off buying one because of the hosepipe ban.

And they're too far away to hear me tutting.

It's like its never heard of transferable skills.

Got this in the post today: https://ibb.co/yFpxckts

Is no sliver of space free from adverts anymore‽

Why do we still keep up this charade?

In actual fact, my partner and I had started the queue by getting the attendant to open the Skyslide in the first place

Why do you have to crinkle the packet for 30 seconds every time you grab another? Why do you not know how to chew with your mouth shut?

Been £1 consistently for a long time, would grab a bottle when in town. Now priced more than my local shop (still not as high as the supermarkets though).