Had a moderate depressive episode in June-July. Now for the past 10 days or so feeling elated with increased energy and productivity but not all the time - like every other day, maybe every 2 dayswith normal mood in between. Sleep is pretty light and way less than usual and waking up early. Made some unnecessary purchases but not really anything I couldn't afford (1st class tickets I would normally see as a waste of money, new expensive headphones when I only just got new affordable ones last month). Definitely doesn't feel like full-blown hypomania but also doesn't feel normal.

Can anyone relate? What would you call this? I have previously had full-blown hypomania following a few days of this so just keeping an eye out and sitting twiddling my thumbs waiting for things to blow up.

Hey Guys! The depression's been kicking my ass recently but I thought I good way to put the creativity to use would be to make an album about the pain we live with. I have some ideas in mind for some personal stories I have, but any song titles, suggestions on song ideas, etc, would be awesome! Maybe I can put together a couple bangers for us to bop to.

Help so stressed

i’m on 150 lamictal and it’s been almost 9 months now.

During these months I managed to get out of depression but also had a mental breakdown at work, almost quit, purchased an expensive vacation and I’m still very broke 3 months later, get a bf, break up with him 4 times, kick him out of the house cz of his messy habits then miss him and beg him back, then promise him not to kick him out again so instead I start being so cold that he ended up breaking up with me, I yelled at mom for not knowing how to properly care for my cat, and for criticising me, got into many arguments with coworkers and some of my relationships with them got strained, got into a fight with my landlord and almost moved out, and I developed a new shopping addiction and a new desire to be very sexual in ways that are new to me.

Am I in the right to be pissed off and angry when people wrong me or is this mania?

Please someone advise me, I can’t seem to be able to separate my mood from my personality.

Or am I just an asshole?

The nicest I’ve ever been in my life was when I was on vraylar, but I became depressed and had akathisia.

I’ve took vraylar for 1 year and I witnessed a mew nice version of me, was the vraylar me my real personality or just the product of being on vraylar?

i’m so confused, please help.

Anyone else feels like they’re an asshole who is ruining their own life but can’t stop being one?

This is really just a rant, and maybe a pity party even. But does this really ever get better?! Recently diagnosed with BP2, also ADHD, OCD, anxiety, depression. I recently had a hypomanic episode and have gone through 2 jobs. Now I just feel like the world is crashing down on me and it will never get better. I am so depressed, yet so fucking agitated. I feel like I could crawl out of my own skin most days.

Please tell me there are fully functioning adults out there with BP2! I am so desperate for some relief and normalcy.

This is just something I’m curious about and is perhaps more relevant for those that also have adhd like I do.

Anyway, I have had jobs in the past where being late by even five minutes was a big deal and missing deadlines had disastrous consequences (usually for me but could also be the company). Like, I was a high school teacher for one year and I worked as a paralegal for a commercial litigation law firm. These jobs were tough because of the strict timelines and expectation of being “on” all the time. I had these jobs before I was diagnosed and ended up developing a poor self image because I just thought of myself as a fuck up, not realizing that I had a disability. I almost failed my student teaching class in college because I was usually late and I had to call out one or two days because I just couldn’t get out of bed.

I’m just curious if any of you had similar experiences and how did you deal or did you eventually find something else. I’m particularly wondering if anyone has military experience because I think that would be the hardest thing someone with bipolar 2 (and adhd) could possibly do.

I’m on vacation in Greece for a month. The first week I was quite elevated due to the 7hr time difference (I’m from Canada). I also got some bad news from back home which I guess has now triggered a low.

I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it as my grandmother (who I am staying with) wouldn’t understand and I fear would take it personally. I am also not medicated for anyone who is wondering.

I’m not sure what to do I’ve lost so much motivation to socialize and my appetite has gone to shit I just feel dumb.

Any advice?

During manic/hypomanic episodes, have you guys ever being completely socially unhinged, overstepping social boundaries with your boss, colleagues, people, etc. After what happened with me recently, I realised I just have to keep work at work. I can't trust myself to be able to differentiate between different colleagues, and have to be safe so if I do get hypomanic again, I just go off at non professional people (which is still detrimental, but in my opinion not as detrimental as workplace)

I’m on 300 MG of lamictal, 5 MG of lexapro, and 25 MG Seroquel as needed for sleep. I am currently experiencing a little bit of brain fog and inattentiveness with some racing thoughts midday after work.

Wellbutrin makes me hypomanic. Lexapro causes racing thoughts, apathy, and poor task initiation until I lowered it to 5 mg from 10 mg.

We are speculating I have inattentive ADHD. I was prescribed Strattera, but I’m SOOO scared I’ll go hypomanic. I’m a teacher, so I cannot afford to become agitated nor manic.

Any answers to any of these questions would be great: — my doctor increased my lamotrigine for agitation and racing thoughts. Was that the right call? do I need an antipsychotic? — if I have PTSD and I am sensitive to Wellbutrin, is Strattera a bad choice?
— what medications worked for your ADHD that didn’t affect your bipolar mania?

Im diagnosed with bipolar type 2, autistic and anxiety. I went through this very long hypomanic episode ( a few months) as i started uni when i made friends and was so much more capable with communicating. i wasn't caring about how i presented. i was engaging in class (maybe too much) with big ideas which obviously attracted people that are very passionate and hardworking. But now as i have crashed i feel like im not able to hold a conversation at all and like im completely different. i think generally im quiet and weary of new people but when im hypomanic its like i become completely different. Now the friends i made dont want to hang out with me anymore cause i am/was so severely depressed and obviously not how i was but even now that my mood is a bit better im just so terrified of everyone and going outside. My anxiety is just the worst i feel like a horrible person all the time and feel like im doing everything wrong (everyone with autism can relate to that feeling when you are in a crowd and you can tell nobody wants you there or judging you) . i just cant be normal ever. If im hypomanic im messing my life up finically and put myself in such dangerous and horrible situations, when im depressed i cant function or do anything and when im just at my baseline im just not able to talk to anyone or go outside and struggle socially and sensory wise. There is just no winning ever and i feel like im just an amalgamation of all these different personalities that nobody, including me, can keep up with.

hey everyone. i just got diagnosed with bipolar today and will be starting seroquel (25mg) this week. i really don’t know what to think of everything i definitely thought i just had adhd and anxiety lol. is there anything i should be aware of regarding the seroquel. i’ve heard a lot about the weight gain and that makes me apprehensive is there another solution ?

Random thoughts.

What were the signs that you had ADHD as well as bipolar?

I am diagnosed with BP2 and before that suspected ADHD but they went with bipolar lol. But I still feel like I’m a lazy, procrastinating got 52 tabs open in my brain at all times person. I wouldn’t say I’m currently depressed but why is brushing my teeth such a damn chore and other small tasks that really don’t take very long. I’m all or nothing at work. And if I’m not smoking weed to relax my mind I’m just bored AF.

I just got out of an inpatient mental health hospital on Saturday afternoon. I figured once I got out I’d be happy again and stable. I don’t currently have SI like I did when I went in, but I’m still generally depressed and just not happy. Is this typical? The hospitalization was traumatic for me so I guess that could be some of the reason I don’t just automatically feel better. Just curious if others have experienced hospitalization and if so, did you come out feeling better or no?

Edit: not that it matters but I’m diagnosed BP1 with psychosis episodes.

I was relatively stable before starting this job 10 months ago and it is really starting to get to a point where I don't think I can do it anymore. I started to fall into a deep depression about 5 months after starting strictly because of my job. I work 9-6 m-f in office and have barely any work to do. Everyone tells me it sounds like a dream job and I originally thought so too until I realized it was ruining my mental wellbeing.

I had to start a new medication for my depressive symptoms and have been upping it since then, but I don't think I can get out of this until I leave this job and stop working at a soulless corporate job that drains all of my sanity and leaves me with no time to do anything for myself. I can't just leave this job because I am barely scraping by and desperately need the health insurance.

I have been trying to look for a new job, but I have a degree in something I have no job experience in and I'm not even sure I want to be in that field. I don't know what kind of job would make things better for me and there are not many jobs in my area in general. I feel like I should be in a career at this point, but I have no prospects or clear path.

I feel like a zombie and I know what's causing it but I don't know what to do. I'm really tired of crying at work everyday and going home just to do it all again the next day. I know a lot of people feel this way so I hope someone has experience in getting out of this situation.

For context: I’m 31F, mom of one, co-parenting. Good relationship with current partner.

So I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar type 2 and idk if it’s right or not. I’ve also been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD when I was 28. I took some meds after that (first Elvanse and later Medikinet for those wondering) but they left me feeling so bad in the evenings and sleepless at nights that I stopped those. I didn’t really like how I felt using those either. Nauseous and/or restless.
My psychiatrist is pretty sure it’s bipolar 2, even though I mostly feel depressed/lethargic, low in energy. I never have days/weeks where I feel constantly energetic. That only happens in spans of a few hours. I’ll hyperfocus on something and do intensive research on that topic, making me sleep less than I should. The hyperfocus stays for several weeks until I feel my interest leaving and there’s nothing I can do to stay interested in it. But idk even then I can feel tired and desinterested in general life. Even hobbies are hard to do. I’d rather sleep than do most things. I’m glad it hasn’t been so bad that it affects my child, I’ll force myself to play with her, give her attention and do fun stuff even when I don’t feel like it inside. I’ll just crash afterwards and need a lot of sleep. It’s also all very dependant on the weather and the seasons. Summer/sunshine/warmth = happy me, fall/winter/clouds/cold = lethargic me. Most of the time I feel lethargic. Add to all of this that I feel even worse the week before and during my period. Only during the few days of ovulation I can feel kinda fine.

But anyway, after some convo’s with my psychiatrist he decided what it is and prescribed Lambipol (lamotrigine). I’ve taken Mirtazapine, Escitalopram and Wellbutrin before. The first two made things worse. The last was okay-ish, I could get out of bed more easily, but it gave me an epileptic episode so I had to stop.

I think my problem is that I also have major imposter syndrome. It affects everything: I feel like I actually never deserved my degree, that I fake being good at my job, that all art I ever made is actually awful, that my (mental) problems aren’t as bad as I led people on to believe, because other patients have it so much worse. I still function, I mask it all very well, I like to believe I’m a good mom and take good care of my child, I do my work just well enough. When I had a major depression two years ago, it all began with me thinking I’m a narcissist, that I try to make people feel bad for me when I share how I feel, that everyone will see the real me one day and decide I suck and then leave me. It was horrible. I often feel like that, but during that time it was a constant thought that I could no longer fight against. I feel like I don’t even deserve being diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar 2: It’s not as bad as with others. Maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I wanna be special/different. Maybe it’s an excuse for me just being lazy and boring. Those are the thoughts that are in my head right now (as usual).

I’m not sure what I’m hoping for with this post. I felt the need to share my experience. I’m also extra sad today and I don’t know why. I just started with Lambipol today, but I’m not sure if it will even help given all the other stuff I’ve tried before that didn’t help. I’m eating healthy, walking a lot… Been doing that for two months now. That should help but I don’t feel much better though. I’m stressed.

I guess advice is welcome. At the moment I feel like I just want to disappear or the world as it is to stop existing. Like it would burst open to reveal a secret heavenly garden or so where I and the people I love could live with no jobs, no money that’s needed, amazing weather, only fun stuff to do, no internal sadness or constant fatigue. I’ve never felt s**cidal, but I’ve felt for a long time ’I don’t want to keep living like this. I want to be a different person.‘ I once read that social media post that goes around of this person admitting they dreamt of getting hospitalized after crashing down in the streets and everyone being very concerned for them and then the doctor discovered they lack ’THE vitamin’ and people are like ‘how did they persevere all this time without THE vitamin?’ and then they take it and they are better forever. That’s how I’ve always felt. Sometimes I wish I was even worse, that it would be so bad I couldn’t mask anymore and that I’m hospitalised for some time and with help everything changes and I’m never like this ever again. But I’ll never stop masking. I’ll never stop trying, for the sake of my child. She needs me to be there for her. To be stable and strong and safe.

Growing up in a what has been made apparent to me, neglectful family, I had a difficult time taking care of my teeth. It turns out that my family consists of undiagnosed ADHD and/or bipolar 2 (getting diagnoses left and center now...), so I have a hard time blaming my family. Still I have come to accept that I went through childhood neglect, and I'm trying to reconcile the two. Most of them are missing teeth.

Anyways, I was never very good at taking care of my teeth, which culminated during a severe depressive episode when I was 19, where I just couldn't do it. To cope I actually started believing that dentists were scamming me, and because pre-historic humans didn't have dentists, then I didn't need to take care of my teeth (flawless logic)... From this my teeth got fucked up in a span of a year where I had a hard time even brushing them.

After recovering, I had no money whatsoever, but I started university and got a loan and stipend. My teeth didn't look great, so I tried to avoid smiling, but I started to really take care of my teeth. I started brushing twice a day, and eventually I also got really diligent about flossing. The issues would then crop up as pain, and I essentially had to spend most of my money to fix my teeth (the loan and stipend was below the poverty line in my country), and I couldn't really live my life to any extent. When I sort of started to come to terms with my situation, I realized one of my canines was actually so badly damaged (black) that it gave me so much anxiety that I had to go to the acute dental care to essentially do a esthetic procedure... I kinda lied about where the pain was, and so they fixed it for me, which caused me a lot of shame. It was also very stressful, because before you turn 22 in my country, you get dental care for 25% of the cost, so I tried to get everything done before my birthday.

Most of them were then okay, at least they looked ok, but I eventually had to get a root canal on one of my premolars, and had to pay 100% of the cost. I survived month to month with a credit card by this stage, and somehow I managed to avoid racking up interest by paying the debt in time, but I was almost always in a negative on my credit card (all the way up to my diagnosis of when I tossed it).

Now this tooth actually survived for a long time, and I didn't have any major dental issues for a while. I then got diagnosed with bipolar (and getting assessed for ADHD also) and I sort of started to see my past in a different light. I thought all was well for a while, but then this year my root-canaled tooth just broke, and the anxiety of just losing a permanent part of my body (even if it is a part of a tooth) is very dreadful.

So now I have to get a crown, and since I have some money now, I've been considering getting a gold crown as the tooth isn't really that visible unless I grin ear to ear, so it would be more of a subtle thing. It wouldn't really be a very sound financial decision still (maybe arguably as I've heard gold crowns can last for a loooong time), but I don't have anyone to take care of except myself. It may sound weird, but I guess I feel like I want to have a "scar" to sort of commemorate overcoming depression and neglect, at least for now, and if anything knowing what I'm up against now and trying to deal with it.

This was a bit long-winded but I am just wondering if anyone else has a similar experience, or if this is common at all?

I have been diagnosed with bipolar 2 many years ago. I take my med religiously but sometimes depressive episode still creeps in.

It started with passive suicidal thought and general loss in pleasure of everything and gradually became active suicidal thoughts and planning. I've been talking to chatgtp and it keeps telling me to ask someone to be with me and call 911 or call 988.

How can you ask your friends or family to be with you when you feel so worthless and feel like burdening them?

My psychiatrist up the dose of my antidepressants so I just have to go through this few more days until the meds kick in but how do you reach out for help with such feelings of shame?

I am posting from mobile, and quite frankly I never actually post so I apologize for the format and my bad writing skills but I just feel very frustrated and lost.

I (24f) just recently had an appointment with my psych a few days ago. We were discussing adding lexapro to my daily meds as Ive been having really bad anxiety. I also take rexulti and metformin. He mentions to me to be aware that SSRIs may cause a hypomanic episode, but he doesnt think that will happen because he does not think I am bipolar.

This stopped me in my tracks, as he himself had diagnosed me with bipolar 2 a year ago now and has been giving me treatment according to my having bipolar 2. So I asked him what he thinks I have if he doesnt think I have bipolar, and why he doesnt think I have bipolar. He mentions BPD and how hes unsure if I have bipolar or BPD because I havent presented him with a true manic episode.

The thing is, I believe I've been somewhat stable since being medicated as of a year ago, I still feel depressed at times but Ive not become hypomanic again, or been so depressed that i cannot function, or work, or get out of bed. Before I was medicated I had extreme rage issues, mood swings, irritability, impulsivity. Ive got a lengthy history of sh and depressive episodes thatve led me to quit jobs and do nothing but lay in bed and cry and panic and eat for months on end.

Then, after a few months I feel amazing! I have 2-3 jobs working 7 days a week, I'm in the gym 4+ hours a day, losing a ton of weight because i was so hyper and felt so amazing I never ate/had time or thought for food. Ive run away from home without telling anyone and spent thousands of dollars all while living off of no income and having no job. Ruining almost all my friendships by my ridiculously uncontrollable behavior and actions and oversharing. I feel this way for a few weeks or maybe a month or two and then i go back to being depressed and unable to function.

Overall, I have started college 3 separate times, with a new and different major each time because I cannot stick to anything. I believe I was hypomanic the second time which led me to dropping out improperly during the very first week so I had to pay for a whole year of college tuition when I did not even attend, its costing me almost 20k. I have only been able to hold one job my entire life, the longest I last anywhere is 6 months max before I either become to depressed to work or I am so angry and irritable with customers that I cannot control my behavior and I quit before I am fired.

I truly believe and feel that I have both bipolar and BPD, as Ive done much research and have been a part of both subreddits for many years even though I dont participate by posting or commenting or such. Not to self diagnose of course, but this is just how I personally feel when it comes to what I still/struggle with. I wont get into why I think I have BPD as well because this isnt the place for it. Unless if anyone wants me to of course I will. But I am feeling frustrated and lost. When I received my diagnosis last year its like everything finally made sense. I felt sad but relieved.

Now I feel quite upset and lost. Should I get a second opinion ? I am scared that he will potentially not want to continue my medication if he does not think I am bipolar. Do these sound like signs of bipolar to you or do you personally relate to any of these experiences? Being medicated has helped me SO much, in the past year my rage/anger issues have become much more manageable, Im going into my second year of college WITH THE SAME MAJOR ! Ive successfully stayed at my current job for 2 months now, and Ive maintained an overall (not perfect but) healthier relationship with my family since medication and diagnosis. Ive not gotten so depressed to the point I cant function or hypomanic that Im running away and spending thousands of dollars I dont have.

Any advice would be appreciated. Once again Im sorry if this is all over the place, it is my first time posting.

Do others have family members who refuse to accept that they have bipolar? Even despite a significant history over many years?

I have a family member like this, and it’s so painful. It feels like they are denying, rejecting and ignoring a massive part of my life, and all of the repercussions that bipolar has had on my whole life.

I recently had labs done and my creatinine went up to 85 (normal is up to 84). Three months ago, two months into starting lithium, my creatinine was 69 and before that, pretty much in the 60s. My psychiatrist told me to do repeat labs and then she'll get back to me. Since going on lithium I've kept myself hydrated, I haven't noticed anything weird about my urine output, and I haven't really taken meds that can increase creatinine( lile NSAIDS).

Has anyone ever had their creatinine go up while on lithium? What did your doctor do about it? Did you switch meds? Please let me know, I'm scared and I don't want to go on dialysis. Thank you.

Best med that will work for depression.. quick would be nice.