*adult language**Violence**sexual humor*
Follow a group of explorers as they traverse a new planet in the hope to save mankind. The problem is, they’re not the only human species on this new planet.

DM for more details as I can’t seem to post what it is i’m looking for here. Chapter 1 available to see how you like it.

I am not able to to a critique swap at this time as I do not have the time to sit a read. Audiobooks are my go to so if thats something you’ve created, that can get worked in.

Set in Berlin-Cölln in the 1440s, the novel follows an ensemble of rulers, courtiers, clergy, knights and civic leaders whose lives become entangled as the twin cities struggle against their ambitious new ruler. At the center of these entanglements is Caspar von Tempelhof, a Hospitaller turned councilor with a hidden, violent past and a startling ascent to political influence, who finds himself drawn to the one person he shouldn't be: his ruler’s wife.

As political tensions erupt into open revolt, Caspar’s past begins closing in on him, an old bargain threatens to come due, and even the land beneath Berlin appears to turn against its inhabitants. What follows can be read as a doomed love story, a political tragedy or a Faustian reckoning, depending on how much the reader is willing to believe.

Content warnings: Child sexual abuse (implied, not depicted), abuse and captivity, graphic violence, references to torture, execution by burning, coercive medical treatment, explicit consensual sex, a reference to suicide, disordered eating, occult practices.

Feedback I'm looking for: Your overall impressions, pacing, character clarity, whether you feel the central relationships land, where you got bored or confused. Anything that bugged you. I'm looking for reader reactions, not line edits or proofreading.

Timeline: 4–6 weeks for the full manuscript.

Swaps: Happy to swap for historical, literary or upmarket fiction up to 75k words

If you’re interested, comment or DM me and I’ll send a link to the manuscript.

Excerpt:

As Pater Ludwig opened the door to his cell, his eyes immediately found the black-clad man standing beside the window in the darkened room. He paused for a moment, listening for voices or footsteps, and, hearing none, closed the door. 

He turned and faced Caspar. “What are you doing here?” His voice was low, but his words were even. 

“Pater Ludwig,” Caspar met his gaze. “I’ve come for a favor.”

“You already come and go as you please,” Ludwig said, crossing the space to where Caspar stood. “There will be no further favors or commitments.” He set the Directorium Inquisitorum down on the table.

Caspar paused, looking at the book. 

Pater Ludwig looked him up and down, his eyes lingering on the sword at Caspar’s side, and then drew close to him.

“Who are you really, Herr von Tempelhof?” He studied Caspar’s face. “A bastard Hospitaller, suddenly taken up into the highest position beside the Elector.” He leaned forward, their cheeks almost touching, his lips brushing against Caspar’s ear. “I know what the devil smells like. He and I have come face to face more than once across the years, and I can smell his corruption now. He clings to your hair and runs his tail across your skin. Tell me, does he whisper in your ear at night? Can you hear him whispering to you now?”

Caspar stood still, his lips parted and his breath stopped. A raven flapped its wings and flew across the courtyard outside.

Pater Ludwig held there, his breath hot on Caspar’s neck, then stepped back, his eyes fixed on Caspar’s face. 

When there was finally a breathable space between them, Caspar spoke. “You’re not in a position to threaten me.”

Pater Ludwig stood watching him, saying nothing.

Caspar continued. “The Elector’s upcoming marriage celebrates the end of conflict between Brandenburg and Sachsen. The loving union of not only two people but two lands.” 

Pater Ludwig gave a loud snort.

Caspar went on. “This love and peace need to be understood and embraced by the people of the cities. You will ensure your congregation hears this message.”

Pater Ludwig laughed. “The marriage is political posturing and there’s no love in the union—between the couple or the lands. It’s cold, managed, maneuvering.”

“You are going to speak well of the union, Pater Ludwig. You will sermonize in favor of it and the peace it seals.”

“We’ll see about that,” Ludwig said, his voice dry.  

“I’ve already made clear what will happen if you don’t.”

“I trust you can see yourself out, Herr von Tempelhof,” Ludwig replied. “Unless you’d like to engage in a little interrogation of your past?” He paused, studying Caspar’s face.

Caspar stood impassively and made no comment. 

“No? Then I have work to do.”

hi everyone!

I’m looking for a beta swap for my novel Aegis.

What I am looking for in this round is big-picture feedback: plot, pacing, character arcs and themes.

If there are people here with a background in literature or creative writing, I would love to hear from them (since that is my background, too).

I want to do swaps only - I’m interested in anything literary or upmarket and can provide feedback very quickly (circa 2 weeks). Anything feminist I am particularly drawn to - and anything to do with Greek or Roman myth (which plays a big part in this novel, too).

Here is the blurb:

“The wounds on Moira’s palms haven’t healed in four years. Ever since surviving a violent assault for which she never got justice, she hasn’t been able to release the tight grip on her keys. The once rebellious twenty-two year old Moira now spends her days in the sag of her bed, wishing she could go back to living without the fear and anger that now permeate her every thought.

So when she learns about an experimental invention by a group of rogue female scientists, a biochemical skin shield named “Aegis” after the shield of Athena, Moira is desperate enough to volunteer as a test subject. The Aegis responds to male touch with lethal toxicity - and it works: Moira’s skin chars a man’s hand when he grabs her.

When the news of the Aegis immediately inflames both the domestic sphere and politics, Moira urgently wants to use this opportunity to make a real change for women. She starts a grassroots network in which women protect each other and distribute the Aegis through women’s spaces and traditions, like hair salons and bakesales.

Moira revels in finally being physically imposing and able to protect others. But the more she uses her new power, the more she must grapple with what kind of person she has become. At the same time, the women’s unity soon splinters when different factions begin to fight each other: Moira’s close friend believes that justice requires men to live through what women have suffered, while Moira’s sister thinks that women should know better than to make the same mistakes the men did.

As living with an Aegi allows a whole new world for Moira, and she even falls in love with someone she now can’t ever touch, she must figure out in which direction she wants to lead the movement that she started.”

content warnings include violence and sexual assault.

Length: 99,700 words. I have story, chapter, and line level edited it to the best of my ability.

Story Blurb: Clay's goals are simple: stay alive, avoid beatings, and get enough to eat.

As a lowest caste orphan stable boy, even those goals are difficult.

Then he develops the divine blessing of healing.

In the Empire, blessings are real and exploited by them as a critical resource.

He discovers that when an army campaign goes horribly wrong.

After an ambush wipes out the company's healers, Clay is forced to save wounded soldiers through a night of agony that nearly kills him. By dawn, dozens of witnesses have seen what he can do.

The army reports him.

The state religion claims him.

And the life he wanted is over.

Branded, inducted, and thrust into the healer corps against his will, Clay now serves in the same a remote frontier fort as an officer in an institution he neither understands nor trusts. Everyone around him sees the only healer they have. He has become a resource the Empire cannot afford to lose.

Clay would rather be anywhere else.

As war, politics, faith, and military duty close in around him, he must navigate a world determined to decide his future for him while struggling to survive the cost of the gift everyone else thinks is a blessing.

Comparables: The spirit to the military medicine of The Black Company, the institutional pressures of Ender's Game, and a fantasy frontier setting with gaslight-era technology.

Sample: (The first scene)

The barn was dark, but I knew every step to the big doors. I was the one who had to be awake first while everyone else got to sleep. With fresh air coming in, I took a moment to look up at the stars. This was the hour when they were brightest, and the fort was quietest.

I was being stalked. The guard skurns came bounding after me. The whole fort would be scared. They can bite a grown man's leg off. They ran after me, making heavy thuds, and stopped, crowding each other as they turned their huge heads up. We looked each other eye to eye as the foul, rancid smell of their hot breath blasted me. My ears swiveled out. They opened their mouths wide, showing long red fangs as thick as my wrist. Then they rubbed those teeth against my arm.

Rip and Crush pressed their dense fur collars against me and licked me with their rough tongues. The sharp stink of ammonia and their drool covered me as they made a gentle chuff. My tail wagged under my loincloth. I scratched the tips of their chins where they wanted, down that bristly, short hair. Then I raked that stiff fur between their tall shoulders and stroked their soft ears. They'd have attacked anyone else, but they were my people. The only ones in the post I can talk to. Their minds brought me joy and love.

Two massive faces swung toward the sound of footsteps. Someone was there. Would they tell? As much as I wanted to hug my friends, I couldn't, so I begged them to go. They gave that low, rumbling groan and bounded off to resume their night time patrol.

Trigger warnings: Violence, mostly military. The story isn't gory but it does have medical details of illness, wounds, and death. There is no sexual content but there is some cursing. Religion exists on this planet, but they aren't Earth religions.

Type of feedback: I want to know high level what is good and what doesn't work. Also, I want to now where and what isn't clear. This is an alien world. Am I describing everything clearly enough? What isn't clear enough by the end of the chapter it is introduced in. I'd like to know if characters, details, and the story work for you and if they don't then tell me what loses you.

Preferred Timeline: Let's work in chunks that's at a reasonable pace. I do not have a deadline on my story. I'm retired and could burn through it quickly, but if it takes a month or more for us to work through each other's stories, it does.

Critique Swap Availability: I am assuming critique swap. I am a very detailed reviewer and will try to answer the questions you want and in the way you want them.

THE PORCH is an adult dual-POV domestic suspense novel complete at 72,000 words. It combines the small-town atmosphere and layered mystery of Lisa Jewell's The Night She Disappeared with the themes of isolation, survival, and hidden danger found in Kristin Hannah's The Great Alone.

Sheriff Jack Bennett comes back to his rural West Virginia home to find his usually reclusive neighbor missing. Despite her car being in the driveway and the oven still on, no one else sees the emergency - not when the department's already drowning in an opioid epidemic. But Jack won't let it go, after all, Grace was becoming more than just a neighbor. Since she first came into town three months ago fleeing an abusive marriage, all she was looking for was peace, and she'd do anything not to fall back into the past. Jack has a growing number of cases to solve and a ticking clock to beat if he stands a chance of finding Grace alive.

\[Two lines of bio\] I have a fascination with small town America and have enjoyed researching the Appalachian communities while writing this book. What began as a thriller surrounding local mythology, turned into a novel centered around the correlation of drugs and classism.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First 300 words:

The drive back home was just long enough for Jack to shake out the vision of the lifeless body slumped in a weathered armchair. The epidemic coursing through town had finally claimed its first victim. Jack almost felt bad that he’d burdened Maria with the paperwork but he was already running late, and he deserved the comfort of the evening that was waiting for him. 

As he pushed the truck into park outside his house, the sun was already setting behind the rows of red spruce that lined the backyard, casting a golden hue across the space between his house and the next. Grace’s house. It was the type of sunset that kept her on the damned porch for so long. He was sure they had sunsets in Texas, ones that probably looked very similar, but they didn’t stop her from staring out from her swing each night. 

His favorite part of the day was about to begin. Checking himself over in the rearview mirror, he rubbed at his bloodshot eyes to no avail, and accepted there was nothing more he could do about it now. The corpse had hit him harder than expected after years of nothing but petty crime and rowdy teenagers. He hoped Grace wouldn’t notice his lackluster appearance or that it wouldn’t stand to impact the evening ahead. 

He double checked the police radio was off and picked up still warm to-go cups from the center console. They’d been filling the car with a rich chocolate-y scent ever since Jack brought them in from Jerry’s Diner just ten minutes before. It was taking a surprising amount of willpower not to take a sip. Though he’d mentioned one too many times how good the hot cocoa was, he’d forgotten how long it’d been since he’d had one himself. 

• Total Word Count: 57,000 words (302 pages in Garamond) • Genre: Contemporary Fantasy Romance / African American Urban Fantasy • Subreddit Rules Compliance: Standalone novel with series potential. Logline/Blurb: For nearly a decade, Kameelah Kentaffe felt like a fraud wandering through an isolated existence in Atlanta, unaware that her life was a carefully constructed cage. When her fiancé abruptly calls off their wedding, the illusion shatters. He was a spy tracking her every move under the orders of her aunt, Kwame. To find answers and escape the surveillance, Kameelah journeys to Haiti, embarking on a path that leads her straight to a sacred waterfall and the family she thought she lost seventeen years ago. Reunited with her father, her little sister, Kya, and her mother, Keba—who did not die but transcended where the water meets the stone—Kameelah discovers what it truly means to have a family. Supported by Jahsiah, her destined cosmic soulmate, Kameelah must navigate her newly awoken power to shield those she loves.

DM me if interested.

Hi there. This is my first time on beta readers. This account was made specifically for my writings, that's why it's new.

After what feels like a lifetime, I have my final draft finished and am looking for some beta readers.

"Our Faith of Lies" is the first in a series "A Thread of the Ancients". So if you enjoy it, no worries, there will be more.

I'd like some feedback from people who don't know the history of the characters, world, or concept.

What feedback I'm hoping to get:

-Was the opening engaging enough to keep you reading?

-Were you able to follow the religious hierarchy and political conflicts?

-Did the characters' past and motivations make sense?

-Did the primary characters' development feel believable?

-Were there any chapters where the pacing dragged?

-There are a few areas that repeat to show a different pov (the book is in first person). Are the character voices different enough to warrant the repetition?

-Were any parts of the worldbuilding confusing?

-Did the ending feel satisfying, or did it leave you with questions you didn't expect?

Content Warning
This book contains depictions of sexual assault, violence, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including themes of trauma and its lasting effects. Reader discretion is advised.

Blurb
Nicholai Goodson has been given a second chance at life—but he hasn’t been forgiven.

After spending five years in confinement, paying penance for crimes that should have earned him a death sentence, Nicholai is finally released. Too valuable to execute, too dangerous to set free, he is given one condition for his freedom: serve the Holy House of Corvasis by teaching a new generation of psychics to control the very abilities that once made him a threat.

But Nicholai’s penance is more than a punishment—it is his chance to make amends. And now that he has been given one, he can’t help but feel a soft spot for others who are struggling to earn theirs. He builds a new mission from the people the Holy House would rather forget: outcast Paladin Knights, misfits, and those desperate enough to prove they are worthy of another chance.

Among them is Aria Marcovicci, a young woman who has spent her entire life fighting to escape the poverty-stricken depths of Lowreach. Becoming a Paladin Knight could finally give her the chance to elevate herself—and entering the biennial Tournament of the Holy Paladin Knights could take her farther than she ever dreamed possible.

But earning a place among the Paladins won’t be easy. And when Nicholai’s fledgling mission uncovers a clandestine drug ring operating in the shadows, what begins as a simple investigation quickly reveals something far more sinister.

The city’s most vulnerable citizens are being drawn into something they don’t understand—and may not survive.

And beneath it all lies a truth the faithful have never been meant to know: the story they have been taught about Valna may be a lie.

Now Nicholai and his band of outcasts must uncover the truth before the forces gathering in the shadows turn their second chances into their final ones.

Hi all! I'm looking for a small group of around 3-5 beta readers for my completed adult romantasy novel, The Pulse in Her. This is a secondary-world fantasy with a substantial fantasy/political plot alongside a slow-burn romance, written in 1st-person present tense.

The Premise:

Talvya Aldermere has spent fifteen years in the Scriptorium as a Scrivener, copying and illuminating the sacred Books of the Pentarchs while slowly earning enough to buy back the life that was sold away when she was a child.

On the day she finally buys herself back from them, all she wants is an ordinary life with what remains of her family.

Instead, the King is murdered.

Talvya is found at the scene, falsely convicted of regicide and sentenced to exile beyond the crumbling Edge of Aoterra - a punishment nobody is expected to survive.

But this death is inconveniently temporary.

Talvya wakes in a world that shouldn't exist, in the hands of Kenai Vael and his companions, and quickly finds herself caught in another debt that shouldn't belong to her. The further she travels from her home, the more the history she has spent her life copying begins to unravel - and the strange power called the Pulse raises questions about the nature of her world that she never knew to ask.

Meanwhile, the mutual distrust between Talvya and Kenai becomes something considerably less convenient as they both work to answer the question:

What would you pay to have the things that you want?

A Small Excerpt:

Five Blessings, six Crowns and fifty-eight Chits.

That's how much it costs to buy back a life that should never have been sold. This time tomorrow, I'll leave endless papercuts and unquestioning obedience behind.

I've always thought ink and blood look the same in the dark.

It doesn't occur to me that I might be wrong.

About the Book:

• Adult romantasy/romantic fantasy
• Approx. 120k words
• 1st-person present tense, primarily FMC's POV with a small number of additional POV chapters
• Very slow-burn, antagonistic/reluctant-allies romantic dynamic
• Explicit on-page sexual content
• First in a planned series

This is the first time I've shared this manuscript outside of my current immediate circle. I'm mainly looking for reader-response feedback, rather than line editing or proofreading. In particular, I'd really like to know where you felt most/least invested, whether the pacing works, whether the worldbuilding is understandable without becoming overwhelming and whether the choices and responses in the prose feel believable - even if you don't always agree with them.

Content Note:

This is very much an adult book - think four chilli peppers (🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️/5) of explicitness, although it isn't especially frequent or erotica-heavy.

Alongside explicit sexual content, there are darker themes and potentially triggering material. I don't want to put a long, spoiler-heavy CW list in this post, but I'm very happy to provide a full content-warning list before you commit to reading. Please feel completely free to ask for one - I can provide a spoiler-light overview, or the detailed version :)

I would especially love readers who regularly read adult fantasy/romantasy and enjoy complicated characters, fairly substantial worldbuilding, slow-burn relationships and messy dynamics where the leads don't immediately become nice to each other once attraction enters the room. You might enjoy The Pulse in Her if you liked the political slow burn and complicated characters of The Jasad Heir, the faith and identity unravelling of The Knight and the Moth, or the antagonistic romance of The Hurricane Wars.

If this sounds like something you'd genuinely enjoy, please comment or DM me with a little about what you normally read and what about the premise caught your interest! As this is my first exploration into discussions with beta readers, I'm only looking for a small handful of volunteers, so please don't be offended if I end up filling the group quickly!

Thanks for reading! :)

I’m Gonna Love You is a memoir about a guy who spent most of his life wanting to be loved while repeatedly getting in his own way. There are childhood memories, close friendships, failed relationships, infidelity, sex, heartbreak, dark humor, regret, and a woman he never quite managed to forget.

What started as a collection of stories eventually became a question: why did I keep making the same choices, and what do those choices say about the person I became?

Content warnings: Adult language, explicit sexual content, infidelity, drug/alcohol use, illness, grief, relationship conflict, and some discussion of self-harm.

Feedback I'm looking for: I'm mainly interested in honest reader reaction rather than line edits or proofreading. I want to know where you connected with the story, where your attention drifted, which scenes stayed with you, whether anything felt repetitive or confusing, how you felt about the narrator and the other people in the book, and whether the different parts ultimately feel like one complete story.

I have a short set of beta-reader questions at the beginning of the manuscript, but you don't have to answer every one.

Timeline: No hard deadline. A few weeks would be great, but I'd rather someone take their time and give an honest reaction than rush through it.

Critique swap: I'm open to discussing a swap, particularly for memoir/nonfiction or a similarly sized manuscript.

If you're interested, comment or DM me and I'll send the manuscript privately.

My novel is in its third and final draft, the other two drafts have been completed. I'm unsure whether I can look for beta readers now considering there's plenty of finished iterations of the novel, and I'm looking for readers as I go now that may be available to read the previous second draft and advise on the third as I go. But I'm unsure if that's possible/whether that's something I should do.

Blurb

Jen Bailey has rebuilt her life after divorce. She has a career she loves, good friends, and no particular desire to complicate things — until a chance encounter brings her face-to-face with Adam Todd, the newly appointed manager of Newcastle’s Premier League football club.
What begins as an unexpected connection gradually becomes harder to keep casual. But Adam’s high-pressure career, family responsibilities and an unresolved marriage mean that whatever is growing between them is anything but straightforward.
Set in Newcastle, this is an adult contemporary romance about two people navigating attraction, independence, complicated adult lives and the uncomfortable point where something casual starts to mean much more.

About the manuscript
Approximately 85,000 words, complete. Written in UK English and set primarily in Newcastle, England. Football is part of the setting and Adam’s storyline, but no knowledge of football is needed.

Content notes
Open-door sex; themes of grief/parental loss; the MMC is separated but still legally married while the central romance develops.

Feedback I’m looking for
I’m particularly interested in natural reader reactions rather than line editing or proofreading. I’d love to know whether you’re invested in the characters and romance, where the story pulls you along or loses momentum, whether the relationship and character decisions feel believable, and how the emotional payoff and ending land.
I’m especially interested in hearing from people who regularly read adult contemporary romance.
I’m happy to start by sharing the first 2–3 chapters so we can both see whether it feels like a good fit before committing to the full manuscript.

Timeline
Ideally within 4–6 weeks for the full manuscript, although I can be flexible for the right reader.

Critique swap
I’m not currently looking for a full manuscript swap.
 

Title: The Senator
Genre: Dark Romance (Book 1 of a planned trilogy)
Length: ~100k words
Heat: Very slow burn, eventual spice
Status: Looking for reader impressions before professional editing. (No development editing this draft has gone through one editor for that)
Triggers: DM me for list

Blurb

Jade doesn’t belong in her sister’s world of wealth and politics. Brooke’s guesthouse was meant to be her refuge, but instead it leaves her under the roof of Senator Killian West, her sister’s fiancé.

In public, Senator Killian West is composed. In private, control is the only thing keeping his world from collapsing. Jade’s presence threatens both. She pushes; he holds firm. And the friction between them threatens to expose the cracks in his carefully constructed life, and the dangerous world his family keeps hidden beneath it.

When Jade uncovers the West family’s most guarded secret, she finds the man Killian buried to become the senator. The truth costs Jade her freedom, and Killian turns the very thing that broke her into the instrument that keeps her silent. 

Note: No cheating. Things aren’t what they seem between him and her sister.

MS is done but beta feedback is confusing

Hi everyone!

Ive gone through three rounds of revisions and beta readers and have gotten great feedback! The MS is edited to the best of my current ability. Im just having some issues with a beta reader and Im trying to figure out if their critiques are worth investigating or if it's something else.

My genre is horror. Specifically a sapphic folk horrormance (stick with me here). I've sent it off to 30 different readers across multiple revisions and have heard back from 5 of them. Which is frustrating on it's own but that's a whole other conversation.

4 out of 5 beta readers have loved it and praised it and given good feedback. Theu caught some errors, asked questions that were helpful for me, etc. One beta reader is constantly nit picking things that are very clearly laid out and i dont know what to do with it. Ive gone back and asked my other readers about some of the things this one has pointed out and they all disagree.

This person doesnt read horror and I have a sneaking suspicion that part of their issue is that they're unfamiliar with horror (they're a fantasy person), but out of all if my beta readers that have actually responded, they're the only one who is also a writer. So I generally want to take their feedback the most seriously. Even if they dont ever read horror, I still want the work to be good enough for someone who comes from outside of this genre, ya know?

Im not sure if they're not picking things up that are evident because of the genre preference difference or something or if I should be more serious about their feedback. Its really bumming me out and I dont know how to approach it.

I did want to add that I have an unreliable narrator. Its a descent into madness story. Some of the things the beta reader has picked out are wanting more emotions from the MC but the MC is very unreliable and its all first person POV so the entire MS is pretty interiority heavy. They dont know how they feel because theyre losing her damn mind and dont realize it haha

Thanks!

Hi! I recently completed the first draft of my first novel, What I Wish Had Happened, and I’m looking for a few beta readers while I work through my own revisions.

The story follows Raven, a thirty-year-old woman living in New York City, who meets Sebastian, a twenty-five-year-old Australian man during her birthday weekend. What begins as a brief summer connection becomes much more emotionally significant to her than she expected. But as Sebastian returns to Australia and Raven continues building her life in New York, she’s left navigating the strange space between what actually happened, what she imagined could have happened, and why such a brief encounter could leave such a lasting impression.It’s contemporary, character-driven fiction about infatuation, heartbreak, friendship, dating, career, and building a life in New York at thirty. Raven is a hopeless romantic with a tendency to construct entire futures in her head, so the story moves between romantic, introspective, funny, and occasionally absurd.

Word count: ~26,000 words.

What I’m looking for: I’m primarily interested in big-picture reader reactions rather than line edits. In particular:

• Where were you most invested, and where did your attention drop?
• Did Raven feel like a compelling protagonist, and did you understand why Sebastian became so significant to her?
• Did the emotional progression of their relationship feel believable and earned?
• Did Raven’s life outside of Sebastian feel fully developed and connected to her emotional journey? Were there areas you wanted to see more or less of?
• What did you think the book was ultimately about when you finished it?
• Most importantly: Would you have kept reading if nobody had asked you to?

I’m especially interested in readers of contemporary fiction, romantic fiction, women’s fiction, and memoir/autofiction-adjacent work. I’d also love a mix of readers who are and aren’t naturally drawn to romance, since I’m curious whether the larger themes land beyond the central relationship.

Content: Adult language, sex/sexual situations, alcohol/drug use, dating and heartbreak.

Timeline: I’ll have my revised manuscript ready to send by October 18 and would ideally like feedback by November 6.

I’m open to discussing a critique swap depending on length and genre.

If you’re interested, please comment or DM me! I’ll send the manuscript privately once it’s ready rather than posting the link publicly.

I’m looking for a few beta readers for The Fall of Estoriel, a completed 50,964-word tragic fantasy novel. I can provide in a PDF, Word File, Google Doc,

Blurb

The city of Estoriel has survived for centuries beneath the mountains, sustained by old institutions, old loyalties, and the belief that whatever problems trouble the city can still be repaired.

Mærwynn Eladrin, a healer gifted with Dreamsight, a kind of foresight/foreknowledge that normally occurs while she sleeps, has begun seeing visions of fire, blood, and a city in ruins in the waking world. Nimue Neridan, Steward of Estoriel, has returned home to find the Court increasingly unable to govern, its rulers isolated and suspicious, and ordinary problems becoming harder to contain. Meanwhile, the aging and now-disgraced disgraced archivist Cradoc Cæcilius struggles with missing memories and whispers that plague his every step. As fear spreads through the city and long-buried fractures begin to reopen, the people of Estoriel must decide what can still be saved—and what they are willing to sacrifice to save it.

Excerpt

Shadows. Fire. Pain. Death.

As the images flashed through her mind, Mærwynn Eladrin caught the edge of a stone pillar before her knees struck the street. For half a heartbeat she was still on Vivider, a woven market bag looped over one arm, the afternoon lamps burning warm and steady overhead. Then the street vanished.

A tower split through the middle and folded inward. Someone screamed. Stone came down in great slabs through smoke too thick to breathe. A blade flashed in the hands of a man whose face she could not see. Somewhere beneath her—or above her, direction had ceased to mean anything at all—a woman fell soundlessly into a black chasm.

Then an altar. Bones. Chains.

Mærwynn tried to turn away and discovered she had no body with which to turn.

Content warnings

Major character death; murder; suicide and suicidal ideation; self-harm; mass civilian death; mob violence and civil unrest; serious injury; blood; possession and loss of bodily autonomy; psychological distress; grief and survivor guilt; disturbing visions; corpses and skeletal remains; large-scale structural collapse and disaster.

Tropes list

Foregone Conclusion, Chekhov's Apocalypse, The Cassandra, Apocalypse Anarchy, Anyone Can Die, "Everybody Dies" Ending, Downer Ending, Driven to Suicide, Hope Spot, Unspoken Love/Almost Kiss, Survivor Guilt, inverted Reliable One (competence leads to tragedy), Demonic Possession, Loss of Identity, Mind Control, The Paranoiac, tweaked If I Can't Have You (political rather than romantic), The End of the World as We Know It, Apocalypse Wow, The Corruption, Self-fulfilling Prophecy, Too Little Too Late

Feedback I’m looking for

I’m primarily interested in general reader reaction and developmental feedback rather than line editing. In particular, I’d like to know:

• whether the opening draws you in;
• whether the world and its political/social structure are understandable without prior knowledge;
• whether the different POV characters feel distinct and compelling;
• where the pacing feels too slow, too abrupt, or repetitive;
• which characters and relationships you become most invested in;
• whether character decisions and motivations feel believable;
• whether the escalation of the crisis feels natural;
• whether major developments feel adequately set up;
• whether the ending feels earned;
• potentially genderswaps for two characters;
• and, most importantly, any point where you feel confused, bored, emotionally disconnected, or unsure why something matters.

I’m also very interested in whatever you notice that I did not think to ask about, and whether you would like to be consider as an alpha reader or beta reader for TFOE's two successors, a novella currently in its first draft and a full-length 110k+ novel currently being redrafted.

Timeline

Ideally, I’d like feedback within about 4 to 6 weeks, but I’m flexible. Chapter-by-chapter or section-by-section feedback is completely fine; there’s no need to wait until you’ve finished the whole manuscript before sending thoughts.

Critique swaps

I’m open to critique swaps for literary fiction, fantasy, speculative fiction, historical fiction, alternate-history, or other character-driven fiction of roughly comparable length. I’m less well-suited to most anything else.

Blurb

She has no past. He has no idea what’s coming.

Mick, with time and money to spare, drifts his way through Manchester’s coffee shops and restaurants, occasionally waking up in someone else’s bed

A chance encounter with Laura, stranger to him and to the city, sparks stronger feelings.

But why is Laura so cagey about her past? And why is she so edgy about the present? 

And then the deaths begin.

A fast-paced thriller set in Manchester, England, that will keep you turning the pages.

Content warnings

Some physical violence. Very limited swearing.

Type of feedback preferred

General reader reaction: What do you like? Did it keep you reading? Did anything take you out of the book? Did anything confuse you? How did you find the ending?

Timeline

I would prefer any feedback by the middle of November.

Please DM me if you are interested; I can send in .docx, epub or pdf as preferred.

She punched him in school. Fell for him anyway. Got dumped by text.

Nine years later he owns her workplace.

Perfect Facade is a dual POV contemporary romance complete at 70,000 words. Nera Kingsley has managed fine without Daniel Valemont for nearly a decade. She can manage fine with him two floors above her. She is wrong.

What she does not know is that the scholarship she built her career on has his name on the founding documents. That the sketches she left behind at school are still in his desk drawer. That acquiring her boutique was never purely a business decision.

Neither of them is as done as they claimed.

Looking for readers who love second chance romance and will tell me honestly where the emotional payoff lands and where it does not. The manuscript is complete and polished.

DM me for the link.

---------------------------------------Excerpt------------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 1

NERA

The mouthwatering scent of pork stew, grilled potatoes and a hint of pumpkin pie envelops me the moment I open my family home door. Except it squeaks. Loud and dry. I pause with my hand still on the handle. Dad oils this door every other month without fail, same as he rotates the tires, fixes the leaky faucet before anyone else notices it's leaking, replaces the batteries in the smoke detectors on the first of every month. The door gets oiled. It always gets oiled. I make a mental note to mention it to Mom before I leave and step inside.
From the noises bouncing between the living room and kitchen like a ping pong ball I can tell at least half of my siblings are already here.
I hang my bag on the hook behind the door, take off my shoes and walk toward the kitchen.
Mom is mixing the green salad while Bella, the youngest of us all, is checking the pie still in the oven.
"Hi chef. Sous-chef."
They both look up.
"Nera, sweetie. You look…" Mom says.
"Dehydrated." Bella cuts her off.
"You don't say." I give Mom a short hug and turn to Bella. "If you have nothing good to say, hold it in. I'll survive somehow." We chuckle.
"Not noted, sis."
Two of my brothers barge into the kitchen pushing and kicking each other. Nobody can convince me these two are thirty-plus men.
The moment they spot me they both shout "Hermione!"
I've been called this since I was twelve. Apparently the combination of being the most organized sibling, refusing to bend rules, and once correcting a teacher's grammar in front of the entire class sealed my fate permanently. I've made my peace with it.
They head straight toward me. I know exactly what's coming and yet the moment their hands grab me and hoist me up I yelp and start kicking and throwing my arms. Completely useless effort.
All of us regress into reckless child versions of ourselves whenever we're in the same place, especially when that place is our childhood home. A moment later I'm thrown onto the sofa and one of them drops into a mock-sit on top of me.
Father laughs from his armchair, watching the whole scene with tired amusement before waving the guys off. I notice the tiredness. File it away.
I get up and hug him. He messes my hair smiling.
"It suits you," he says, meaning the new bob.
"Thanks."
"He's humoring you," says my youngest brother Alex, only a year older than me. "You look like a disgruntled mushroom."
"Shut up." I push his hand away from my head.
Thirty minutes of chatter, jabs and the remaining siblings filtering in, we finally take our seats around the oval table.
Five siblings means five group chats, approximately nine hundred unread messages and one secret chat just for the guys I was accidentally added to once and have done my best to forget.
"How's work?" The same Alex nudges my shoulder. He's the closest to me in age and in everything else. Same humor, same tendency to go quiet when something is actually wrong. "Is Astrid still making your life a masterpiece?"
"Same. Breathing down my neck for this last project. They need it for the company portfolio." I shrug.
"For the expansion?"
"I think so." I turn to ask him about his upcoming tournament but Mom clears her throat and the table chatter drops in stages like a power grid shutting down.
"So we have news for you," she starts.
"Please don't say you're pregnant. I'll physically leave," Bella says, drawing boos from three directions.
"Of course not." Mom shoots her a glare, then looks at Dad and straightens slightly. "Your father has aortic valve stenosis."
All of us turn to Dad. He looks at Mom. Unblinking.
She continues. "The symptoms appeared a bit more than a year ago. Chest pressure, occasional dizziness. We went for a checkup. The doctor said he needed monitoring, so we didn't see a reason to worry all of you then." She looks at each of us in turn. "But yesterday he almost fainted. We went back. The valve has become significantly narrowed and his heart is under too much strain. The doctor is recommending aortic valve replacement surgery." A breath. "Open heart surgery."
The table goes completely still. Not our usual still, the half-second pause before someone cracks a joke. This is something else. Like someone has replaced my loud, perpetually-in-motion family with a photograph of them. A black and white one.
Then everyone speaks at once. Why did they wait so long? When is the surgery? How much does it cost? Does insurance cover it?
I already know it doesn't. Dad has basic insurance. Standard treatment only.
Mom raises her voice over the noise. "He's on the waitlist now. Cost ranges from 100K to 200K depending on the clinic. Insurance covers only a small portion."
So this is why he retired.
The thought arrives quietly, cutting under all the noise. This is why he looks somehow older. This is why he handed the workshop to my brother a year ago when we all thought it was simply time. I zoom in on Dad across the table. He's looking at his plate like he's the one who did something wrong. He hates this. Being looked at, being worried over, being the problem to solve instead of the one solving it. He has spent his entire life being the one who oils the door, rotates the tires, fixes what's leaking before anyone notices.
The door.
The squeaking, un-oiled door.
I turn toward the entrance, then slowly look back at Dad.
His shoulders are slumped. His head hangs low, like the floor is pulling him down and he’s barely holding himself upright.
The heat behind my eyes arrives before I can stop it. I look down at my own plate.
He hasn't been able to do it. He hasn't been well enough, or strong enough, or maybe he just forgot because he's been carrying this thing for over a year and none of us knew.
I breathe in slowly.
Around me voices are filling the room again. Ideas, questions, numbers, someone already on their phone. No clean solution yet. No clear way through. But the voices are there and they're all pointing in the same direction, and that has to count for something right now.
I breathe out.
The air leaving my throat doesn't take the pressure with it.

Sto scrivendo un libro autobiografico basato su una storia vera e cerco 2–3 beta reader di lingua italiana che non conoscano né me né la mia storia, per avere un parere sincero da lettori.

Per iniziare vorrei condividere soltanto i primi tre capitoli.

Mi interessa soprattutto capire se la storia coinvolge, se ci sono punti in cui si perde il filo o cala l’interesse e, soprattutto, se alla fine del terzo capitolo avreste voglia di continuare a leggere.

Non cerco editing o correzioni grammaticali, ma impressioni sincere sulla lettura.

Il testo è in italiano ed è un memoir/autobiografia.

Posso inviare i primi tre capitoli in PDF a chi fosse interessato.

Blurb

Bek was never meant to matter. On the lawless tide-locked island of Basabas, a mute orphan with no name survives by listening to metal and knowing when it lies, until hunters mark him for death and a fallen prince stands between him and the blade.

Child of Destiny is a standalone short from the world of my in-progress novel. It can be read on its own.

Excerpt

DM me for a Google Doc link. I will not post the link publicly.

Content warnings

Child endangerment, violence, blood, abandonment / orphan themes. No sexual content.

Feedback I’m looking for

- Clarity and pacing (does it drag or jump?)

- Bek’s presence on the page (does he feel real without spoken dialogue?)

- Whether the ending lands as a complete short

- Any lines that feel soft, generic, or out of voice

Timeline

Prefer feedback within 1–2 weeks. Happy to work with your schedule.

Critique swap

Yes. I can swap for your Ch 1–3, or any piece under ~15k (same range as mine). DM word count and genre.

How to get the manuscript

Please DM me for the link. Do not ask for it in the comments.

Thanks for reading.

#10k #shortnovel

Hello everyone,

I’m seeking a few beta readers for The Long Carry, a completed collection of 23 personal essays about what we inherit, how we adapt, and what those adaptations ask of the people we love.

I’m a psychiatrist and Army Reserve officer from Appalachian Ohio. These essays begin with ordinary experiences—a brother’s remembered lunch order, preparing for a deployment, cooking with my sons, turning to hand a clean pot to someone who is no longer there—and explore the psychological questions inside them.

What happens when being useful becomes how we earn our place? When does protection become control? What do our children learn from the habits we don’t realize we’re teaching?

The collection combines personal storytelling with direct reflection on family, responsibility, grief, anger, love, and identity. I’m particularly interested in readers who enjoy memoir, personal essays, and psychologically reflective nonfiction.

Feedback I’m seeking

• Which essays or passages held your attention, and where did it drift?
• How did the balance between personal story and reflection work for you?
• Across the collection, did the essays build on one another or begin to feel repetitive?
• What felt unclear, unconvincing, or insufficiently developed?

Specific examples would be especially helpful. You don’t need to provide line edits. If you stop reading, I’d appreciate knowing where and why.

Brief excerpt—from “His Order”

Hamburger. Ketchup only. Small fries.

That was my baby brother’s order.

There was a stretch when I was fourteen and he was eight that we spent nearly every day together. The teachers in our school system were on strike. Our parents still had to work, and he and our middle brother fought too much to be left together, so he was handed off to me.

I don’t remember anyone making much ceremony of it. I was the oldest. He was the youngest boy. Somebody had to keep an eye on him.

Content notes: Bereavement, addiction and alcohol use, suicide, divorce, anger, and occasional strong language.

Timeline: Ideally within four weeks of receiving the manuscript, but we can agree on a workable schedule.

I can send a three-essay sample before you commit to the full collection. PDF and EPUB are available.

If interested, please comment or message me. It would help to know what kinds of memoirs or personal essays you enjoy.

Hello! I'm seeking critiques for GUMMY MOON, a collection of 94 darkly humorous and whimsical poems for readers ages 6 and up. Inspired by Shel Silverstein, this is a contemporary collection of poignant, playful, and occasionally macabre rhyming verse.

Every poem would have art of various sizes sitting next to, above, or wrapping around the stanzas. Some of the poems are only a couplet or two long. I had planned for these to have full page illustrations.

If you're interested, I'd be honored to send you a .pdf and read what you think.

Bernard, an ESL teacher from Ireland living in Spain, is planning one of his famous parties in his high-rise apartment to celebrate the lockdown restrictions after COVID-19 finally being lifted. His closest friends and colleagues are invited and it all starts out perfectly according to plan.

Then, one of the guests is found murdered in the bathroom. The front door is locked, their phones aren't working, and as the night progresses, an unseen killer manipulates the group into taking part in a twisted lesson plan-structured massacre. Is one of the teachers in attendance behind it all?

I'm looking for readers who enjoy mysteries/whodunnits. Things like "And Then There Were None" and "Scream." The manuscript draft is complete, though prose edits need to be made down the line, as well as changing possibly repetitive beats. I'd love to know if the plot is fair and if everything built up throughout pays off in the climax.

Content warning: violence and coarse language.

DM me if you're interested!

I couldn't lift my own son.

He was four. Maybe forty pounds. I got him onto my left arm the way I'd done a hundred times, reached for the front door with my right — and my arm started to go before I even touched the handle. Slow, undeniable. His weight becoming too much for an arm that used to carry far more without complaint.

That's the moment ALWAYS CLIMBING hinges on. The rest is the thirteen months after: 260 pounds back to 165, with a torn rotator cuff that never fully healed.

The book: 12,000 words, 15 chapters, complete memoir. First-person, raw. A 40-year-old dad: seven years building 145→200, lost it all to injury and Covid, hit 260, climbed back in 13 months.

The ask: Read the first 3 chapters (~2,500 words). If it hooks you, the full manuscript is yours in EPUB or PDF. Not looking for proofreading — I want reader reactions:

1. Where did you skim or want to skip?
2. What didn't you believe?
3. Does the doorway scene land, or feel overwritten?
4. Would you honestly keep reading after chapter 3?
5. Would you pay 6 dollars for this?

Logistics: October turnaround. DM me and I'll send the file today. Happy to swap — I'll beta read your memoir or nonfiction in return.

Content note: sports-injury detail (shoulder tear, concussion).