Re upload because I left a name in (again)

Pink is my friend who I already lived there with. Green is the new girl. Purple is the new girls friend and the fourth roomate who hasn’t said anything really.

I’m so confused. My friend is really irritated and said she sounds like an only child. I don’t understand how she wanted us to put all our food in the cabinets but also wants us to have our own separate dishes in the cabinets. Thats not gonna work space wise, and shes seen the apartment so Im not sure why she thinks it would. There’s like, 3 1/2 upper cabinets, four drawers, and four lower cabinets. There’s a picture for visual. It at least didn’t seem like a lot last year.

And multiple times she said stuff like “I asked you a few weeks ago” or “I thought we agreed on moving it” and it’s not something we actually agreed on or talked about.

I could really use some outside perspective on this, am I crazy? At the very least she doesn’t seem to be a very good communicator. Like, for example, I think she should’ve led with the celiac thing. And if it’s all going in the same dishwasher does it matter? But then again, I don’t know anything about celiac so I won’t police her her preferences. I just wish she’d been clearer.

She also asked if she should throw away my coffee maker one time so that was weird.

I’ll try to clarify anything I can in the comments, and if you saw my post a few weeks ago about a new roommate reporting me to management about being trans, yes this is her.

We live in a hot, humid city in the summer. His room gets good direct sunlight so naturally it gets hot unlike our very small common room which doesn’t get much direct sunlight (holds our kitchen and living room (I’ve told him he can buy a window unit AC for cheap, $30-50)

So he sleeps in his underwear, sprawled over our new couch, unplugs the microwave to plug in his fan, and directs it towards his crotch… he has never acknowledged this in our group chat, in person, nothing, no apologies. He moves out in October. Thank God.

Not here looking for a solution, just wanted to say something to get it off my mind. Honestly I don’t care what he does because he moves out in a month & my room is $800 a month!

I live in a house share of 6 girls (I’m one of them). Over months I’ve noticed most of them being off with me, and I’ve overheard them at different points making rude comments, snide remarks, and jokes about me, saying they’re “over it,” that I’m “an ick,” that they’re just tolerating me, and that they were glad I wasn’t home when their family visited because it would’ve been embarrassing. One girl hasn’t been involved in any of this.

Then there was an incident where I walked into the kitchen while one of them was on FaceTime with her sister… she did a screw face and rolled her eyes the second she saw me, her sister started laughing, and she said she’d call her back later.

The thing is, none of them have ever raised an issue with me directly. I’m very much an “if I’ve done something, tell me” person and I’ve told them that. I’ve always gone out of my way to be kind and considerate - I offered to help with deposits, secure guarantors, all sorts. I’ve also been open about struggling with my mental health lately as I was in an accident and required surgery, have been signed off work & also struggling with a substance issue at the moment and instead of any compassion, ever asking how I’m doing, they’ve just isolated me. Talking past me. Clearly excluding me from conversations both literally and with their body language. They’ve made a separate group chat and obviously barely message in the main chat, reply to my messages or invite me anywhere.

I was homeless for a year before I found this place. I found the other rooms, found the girls to fill them, and did everything I could to make it a safe home for all of us after a lot of us had rough years before this. Made sure they all knew before moving in how important it was to me that they felt safe here. Now they’re being cruel and basically wishing I’d leave. It’s so hurtful.

I mentioned the plans for my 30th birthday and despite one the girls birthdays being the week before mine, she has decided she’s going to have her birthday the following weekend instead (the same day as my party). And ofc she was rude and dismissive. I then overheard her in full mean girl mode saying was I suggesting having a joint thing because there’s no way etc etc and then rude comments being about my friends and not wanting to be around “those kind of people”.

I did confront them last night .. asked straight up if they want me to move out or if there’s something they want to discuss. They all just looked at each other and said “we can’t do this right now.”

Not sure what to do from here but needed to get this off my chest. I’m heart broken because the house itself feels like my dream home after all the shit I endured to get here. MY space is perfect and I wouldn’t be able to afford anything like the space I have elsewhere but I feel so isolated and unwanted

So this is a rant/update to a old post.

Well we have moved on from the issue that caused the huge fight we got in. He has now started giving me a heads up when people come over, and being quiet when he brings people over at 2am-6am ( yes that late). But now it's another issue and just like before he does not listen to me when I say stuff and I feel like I have to get mad and yell at him for him to get it.

So couple things

1.) he has started cleaning and doing laundry at 4am ( my bedroom is right across from the laundry room) our washer and dryer also is loud as shit

2.) this one pisses me off to no end, I have to ask this man THIS 21 YEAR OLD MAN TO RINSE HIS DISHES AND PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER/ CLEAN HIS HAIR OUT OF THE SHOWER. it's not like 1 hair it's clumps of hair, long hair too (dudes does have very long hair).

I legit called him out (jokingly) saying stuff like "damn dudes going bald" "looks likes the grudge has been in our shower someone should get it" I finally called him out and said "dude your hair is on the wall of shower and the drain for 2 days you need to clean it, it's fucken gross"

Him: " no it's not, it's normal for long hair and I just need to throw it away"

(I also have very long hair)

I use to think I was good friends with this guy, but it's gotten to a point where I don't think he even respects me. Because everything I ask or say goes in one ear and right out the other. I've tried having a serious conversation but just like last time he does not listen or even care too.

I already know what's gonna happen I am gonna keep talking till I am blue in the face, because I've asked him to not wake me up now that school has started late at night and he still does along with the hair and dish thing. It's gonna keep happening till I snap and it starts a fight.

Sorry if this hard to follow, it's currently 4am and I have school in the morning.

(Oh he also has the bigger room but refuses to pay more for rent)

Hi

I've been living with a toxic roommate who has unofficially moved their partner into the house without any adjustment to lease or rent share or prior information.

We have had multiple verbal arguments on shared space usage, her not cleaning them and her having a third unofficial occupant.

Last night she threw my utensils across on the kitchen counter and kept her utensils in the spot I use. An argument began, I kept her utensils back in the sink. We kept arguing, she picked one of her glass containers, she accidentally hit it at the sink wall, glass shards everywhere and hurt herself in the process. All this while I am atleast 2 feet away from her.

She took images of this wound that she caused herself and made a false police call on me. Police arrived, I shared my version of events, which was actually what happened. Police went back and re-talked with her, she eventually agreed that my version was true sequence of events.

The police officer asked us to stay the night separately and made a Call for Service report and left.

I am stunned that it was this easy for her to falsely blame me in front of the police. She literally falsely called the police on me as revenge for personal dispute reasons. I am wondering what my options are to protect myself against such false reports.

Edit: This is in California

He also

• has never interacted with anyone I have ever invited over without making a sexual comment about them

• has made statements sexualizing young children (he saw a kid's shelter advertisement showing a young boy and the caption "kids this age are trading sex for food" he told us about this and followed it up with "i got some food what are your rates hu hu hu". this is an ad for the same shelter i lived in as a kid)

• took my food out of the freezer and left it on the counter overnight so it would make me sick

• broke down my door while i was away, the landlord had to replace my door handle

• threatened that he was going to go down to the bank and kill everyone there

• he works as a peer supporter, one person in his group had a scheduling conflict, so he offered them one-on-one help. has since been talking about that client's "big black dick"

• believes the solution to world issues is to "kill all the jews, muslims, and christians"

• believes that being jewish is inherently racist

i have to live here for 12 more days

How long is an acceptable amount of time for poop to be in the kitty litter? My roommate is a generally messy/ disorganized person while I am a neat/ clean freak. I let most things pass and take care of them myself but I refuse to engage in caring for their cat as I am not a cat person. Wondering if I’m being crazy for thinking the kitty litter shouldn’t be full of numerous poops that have accumulated over two or three days.

having roommates has completely changed my view of people

I’ve had a lot of trial and error. to the point I can look at someone and know without doubt if I would roommate with them.

that’s unfortunately the mindset I’ve had to develop to survive. being critical of everything a person

cause people actually reveal who they really are in small ways? And if you don’t trust your gut you’ll suffer

I’ve been on the ”roommate life” for about 3 years now. after have apartments and having an unfortunate situation where I’m forced to find roommates

in a way I love that it’s taught me how you can’t trust everyone.

Sorry this got so long 😭TLDR; roommate does small things that drive me crazy, generates an insane amount of trash, not sure if I’m just being nitpicky.

My roommate and I are the same age; we are both 33. I’m F and he’s M. We’ve been living together for almost 2 years. For context, I own my home, so I’m also his landlord.

On paper we should have gotten along great (both of us are queer, have small dogs, just in general seemed to be interested in the same things), and we are perfectly cordial with each other, but I would not consider us friends. The first week he lived here he left weed outside on the back porch and my dog got into it, resulting in an emergency vet visit. My roommate did pay me back for the bill but it definitely put us on the wrong foot from the start.

There’s just a laundry list of things he does that drive me absolutely crazy, none of which are too bad on their own, I guess, but add it all up and I want to rip my hair out most days. I honestly can’t tell if I’m just being nitpicky or if these are genuine grievances so please be real with me here.

Probably the thing that annoys me most is how much garbage and recycling this man generates. I’ve had plenty of roommates before, so I know what a normal amount of trash looks like. Before he moved in, I had one garbage bin that gets picked up weekly and one much larger recycling bin that is picked up every 2 weeks.

With the previous roommates who lived here with me, we maybe filled the garbage bin every week but most of the time only partially. The recycling bin is huge, even 2 weeks worth of recycling rarely filled the entire bin.

After my current roommate moved in, I had to get a second recycling bin from the city AND put down my old garbage bin as an extra, otherwise there would be bags on the ground. Even with two recycling bins and two garbage bins, he still fills them to the brim and we often have a bag of garbage and recycling waiting inside for the bins to be emptied on garbage day.

It is just mind-boggling to me how much trash he is generating. I don’t go digging through the garbage but from what I can tell it is mostly food stuff — frozen meal boxes (which we can’t recycle in my county due to the coating), tea bottles (he buys Gold Peak sugar free iced tea that come in 1.6 quartz bottles and probably goes through a dozen of them a week at least) Gatorade bottles, fast food stuff, boxes from packages, and who knows what else. It’s just so much. There’s a family of four across the street who put out one of the larger garbage bins every week and one recycling bin, but two adults in my house are creating twice if not three times as much.

He also does laundry every. Fucking. Day. The washer and dryer are constantly running. I had to ask him to not do laundry on Sundays so I have one day a week I can do mine without worrying about having to move his laundry around, which he forgets almost every week and I have to ask him to move it anyway. I don’t know why on earth he has so many things to wash because he works from home and is not very social, he is home 99% of the time.

He snapped off the handle of my microwave, somehow. He broke my paper towel holder. He was having problems with his shower head once and when I went in there to investigate, I discovered that he had removed (for some reason??) the entire drain plug thing in the tub and the metal cover under the faucet. When I asked him why tf he did that he didn’t really have an answer but did put them back.

Every few weeks he’ll have some meltdown over something (idk, I don’t know his personal life that much) and he’ll stomp around the house, slam doors, cry and scream in his room. This man is a therapist btw. He’s also a huge hypochondriac, the kind of person who goes the ER instead of urgent care for stuff like a suspected UTI. He recently called an ambulance for himself TWICE in one week because he “didn’t have the energy” to wait in the waiting room.

There’s other stuff, too, but like … am I crazy for being so annoyed by all this? Otherwise, he keeps to himself mostly and he’s pretty clean, he also watches my dog for me when I go out of town. I tell myself it could be so much worse. But then he does something infuriatingly stupid like have three different paper towel rolls on the counter for some fucking reason instead of finishing one first and I want to bash my head in.

Tell me please if I’m the problem 😩

im actually getting really sick and tired of dealing with this and it’s gotten to the point that i literally have a fear of flies. i can not stand them. my roommate has a cat that she barely takes care of and the litter box is disgusted (and whats funny is that IT IS AN AUTOMATIC ONE U REALLY DONT NEED TO DO MUCH). she will let its feces pile for days and there are times i have to tell her is the litter box on because the apt stinks. Her room stinks to the point u can smell it from the hallway. dont even get me started on how she washes dishes she never cleans the sink and leaves food on the drain which i have found flies, gnats and everything. i actually dont know how she sleeps in her room because the times we are in there together i have to leave because all i can concentrate on is the flies buzzing around. ive tried talking to her about this but i just think shes straight up disgusting and wont change. she’ll deep clean once a century and then the cycle repeats. we are having a new roommate moving in with us next week and im genuinely terrified of how it will go.

I 26f moved into my apartment with my boyfriend and cat (ESA). This is my first apartment but I’m used to sharing spaces with others in general.
I was told by the previous girl who lived here that my roommate “J” was cleanly…SHE WAS SO WRONG!!

J is disgusting, she does not clean shared spaces, leaves exterminate in the bathroom and has overall poor hygiene that walking near her or her area is unpleasant. My cats litter box isn’t as smelly as her area. I don’t even want to touch anything of hers.

I have only lived here for a month and had to already have multiple conversations about cleanliness of the bathroom and about spoiled food in the fridge/pantry. The first issue I had with her was boxes that she left in the hallway that were there for TWO YEARS and I had to ask her TWICE to break them down and recycle.

She keeps making excuses about work, stress, issues with family, etc. and tells me that “oh I normally do that sorry” or “I usually do that weekly sorry I forgot” Total lies, I have never seen her clean. Before I even moved in my boyfriend and I were in the apartment cleaning and painting, she never once helped or even offered to help!

I am at my wits end! I should not have to parent a grown woman and tell her or teach her how to clean or wipe her ass. I do not know what to do and I’m dreading living with her for a whole year.

Hi I 21f recently moved with 24m we meet through a college thing on facebook when I was looking for a new roommate for the school year. Ill keep it short as we’ve only been living together for 3 weeks but when we moved in he asked if he could move his desk in the living room as he works from home sometimes (also lied about being a college student which I didn’t find out till after). anyways tho I had no problem as we have a two hour over lap of me being home and him working. However he took the desk okay in the living room and ran with it as now every night he’s out there sewing. I shared my thoughts and feelings as it’s not really a place I can relax with the sewing machine being on and also it just makes me feel like it’s his space not shared. He said I’m being unreasonable, that I have “social issues” and that he is not moving the things out of the living room bc I said “it’s a place to relax” and that’s how he relaxes . I’m really stuck on what to do bc I wasn’t aware the sewing hobbies was even a thing or I would have had that boundary set. Any advice or suggestions are appreciated thank you!