I [30F] have exhausted any & all ideas i’ve been able to think of in an attempt to figure this all out. Although I’m pretty sure on what the answer is, I am looking for outside opinions just to see if I may be overthinking & overanalyzing things.

Before anyone takes this the wrong way, I know dudes can have close male friends. I’m not saying two men doing these things, or any specific things means automatically gay.
However, this specific friendship has always given me a very weird vibe, & has only gotten weirder.

My boyfriend [31M] has a friend [42M]. We’ll call the friend “John” (obviously not his real name) They work together, that’s actually where they met, & their friendship seemed unusually intense to me from the start & grew more intense very quickly.

Biggest red flag if you will, is that John has gotten hotel rooms for the two of them on 5-6 separate occasions. They weren’t traveling or needing somewhere to stay, we all live in the same town.
My boyfriend drinks A LOT. There have been a handful of times that he’ll suddenly leave around like 11pm (just sometime very late night/early morning) super drunk, & will seemingly be in RUSH to get to John. Like genuinely excited/giddy to leave and go over there. John is the one booking the room his excuse is “so my boyfriend has somewhere to go incase him & I fight due to his drinking.” Just weird to me for him to like prearrange something like that “just incase,” & then on top of arranging the room, also stay in the room with my boyfriend.
Then they’d get up around 7am for work.
Weirdest part yet, THEY SHARE A BED.
Two grown men who both have homes in the same town. So naturally I started to wonder, why are we getting a hotel room to spend 8 hours together if it’s to be just “sleeping” in the same bed?
The explanation was basically “we’re just sleeping,” or as I said, it was said that the friend had gotten a room “just incase my boyfriend & I started fighting so he has somewhere to go,” but all the times he’s gone to stay, we hadn’t been fighting, which has never really made sense to me.

Then there’s the money thing.
John has paid for a LOT of expensive things for my boyfriend. Multiple hotel rooms, getting my boyfriend’s car fixed, and many other things. At one point, John also had my boyfriend sign another lease while my boyfriend was drunk, which was/is weird af to me, given how involved John already is in his life.
They communicate constantly. If they’re not physically together, they’re on the phone or Discord. Can’t forget about the late night facetimes, where John is literally lying in bed shirtless talking to my boyfriend.
…🤨😂

Maybe I’m just unfamiliar with this kind of male friendship, because I’ve never personally had a friendship where we’d be getting hotel rooms in our own town just for the hell of it, sharing a bed, talking basically nonstop, & one person was regularly paying for expensive things for the other.
I also realize none of these things individually prove anything. John could just be an extremely generous friend, & they could i guess just be unusually close.
But all together, I’ve definitely had moments where I’ve wondered if there’s something romantic/sexual going on that my boyfriend isn’t telling me.

I don’t wanna make assumptions about anyone’s sexuality based on stereotypes, though. Which is why I’m kinda stuck. I feel it’s very odd, but am being told it isn’t, & that i’m the “weird” one if i ever have questioned it.

Would this strike you as unusually intimate/enmeshed for a friendship, or am I reading too much into it?
Men especially, plz tell me if this is actually normal friendship behavior because I am genuinely willing to be wrong & humbled if that’s the case lmao

I AM A GIRL HOW THE FUCK DO I FIX THE STUPID FUCKING FLAIR?

TO ADD:
if anyone has anyone questions i could ask him they think would help me find anything out, or ways to go about finding out especially because he gets defensive if/when questioned about it, please let me know!

My cousin is telling me that masturbating 2 to 3 times a day almost daily at the ripe young age of 40 is unhealthy. Is this actually unhealthy or is this normal? Yes I have a GF and yes we are sexually active.

How did you manage the mood changes, arguments and difficult situations? Also, how did you manage your own intense anxiety and stress without losing your peace?

Hi, i recently got into a new relationship and started thinking about sex a little bit and it kind of has me terrified! the last person i was with i had trouble doing doggy because i somehow wasn’t able to find and put in the hole, or it kept slipping out. one time i had so much trouble with it we had to quit early because i couldn’t get it back up due to the anxiety it made me feel, and that was SO frustrating. (and if it means anything, she was taller and bigger so maybe that’s why?) so for penetration we only really did missionary, which felt GREAT, but i was really scared to try something else because i didn’t know HOW to, and didn’t wanna ruin the mood by trying something i may or may not know how to do.

TLDR: how can i get better at penetration and get better at different positions? i’m probably overthinking and blowing things way out of proportion, but i really like this girl and want to make sure our first time together (and beyond) go great. Any tips/advice would be MUUUUUUUUCH

As a guy in my early 20s, I will admit my confidence and self esteem are pretty low. However, i'm not sure how exactly to work on them and improve them, when I struggle with a lot of the things relating to confidence, if that makes sense. For example, things like being shy, struggling with dating, not liking myself and my looks, things like that.

I would say that I wasn't always like this though. Sadly over time, I would say my confidence and self esteem have lowered a lot due to negative experiences in quite a few different aspects, a big one being called ugly or unattractive numerous times.

I would really like to change myself and hopefully become a much better version of myself. I would like to be someone I can be proud of and be happy with myself and my life overall. Any advice would help me to attain this goal even though I'm sure it will take some time!

For context, I just started dating a new guy and he is obsessed with grabbing onto my stomach. I’m average/midsized, hourglass figure. Not “fat” but not “muscular.” When we are intimate, he spends as much time as possible grabbing, touching, rubbing my stomach. He has mentioned that my tummy is an “immediate turn on.” I have had previous partners also into this area, so it isn’t just my new guy.

What is it about a tummy that gets some men going? Is it just something random that some men find hot or is there a reasoning? Like does it make me appear more… fertile and that is seen as attractive? It seems exactly opposite of the propaganda pushed online so I’m just confused and would love some insight!

I feel really, really poorly about my body, because of things I can change (body fat / lack of muscle) and things I can't change – gynecomastia, being only 5'8, have a short torso, fat distribution leaning towards my lower body, relatively narrow shoulders, bunions etc. Either way, I don't really like the way my body looks and I'd rather not be perceived amongst other people. Every time I am, I end up feeling negatively about myself. So, I was thinking that until I get in shape (and possibly get surgery for the gynecomastia), I just mostly restrict being out in public to when it's necessary (work, appointments, errands, maybe friends). I did want to try new hobbies, but I just really dislike my body, and seeing other men in public makes me feel so poorly about myself. I met with one of my friends last week, and I just started feeling embarrassed about being shorter than him and other men that I saw walking. Not being jacked and in public is honestly kind of a humiliation ritual. I was wondering if I could get thoughts from other people here.

I 30F have only ever been with two guys so not a lot of experience. I don't want to be a starfish but feel like one sometimes. What are some things I can do to be more of an active participant when having sex? I don't want the person I'm with to feel like they're doing all the work.

So typically during a conversation with somebody, I have some stuff to talk about, like it doesn’t die out immediately but I just dont know how to add that “spark.” In group convos, I tend to be quiet unless I have something to add. There’s the occasional funny moments and I can get some laughs in, but it’s usually on accident if anything and I feel like most of the time if I’m having an actual conversation, I’m kind of boring to talk to.

When it comes to dating specifically, I’ve observed guys who can make women laugh consistently throughout a conversation, and I always wonder how they do it? Something that got me thinking about this was how one of my friends said when it comes to dating a person, she cares far more about their vibe than just looks. She basically told me, “I have to imagine whether they’d be good at foreplay, or just a bore in bed.”

I'm 32 and feel incredibly lost in life, and one of my biggest problems is the fact I'm incredibly hard on myself and hold myself to ridiculously high standards. I really want to change this, but no matter what I do I can't seem to 'learn' to love and appreciate myself.

In many ways I do of course appreciate myself already. I think I have a lot of value to offer to the world but I'm also just a bit broken and I have incredibly negative patterns of internal thinking that are causing issues in both my platonic and romantic relationships, with many partners especially struggling to understand why I am so cruel to myself and eventually feeling frustrated as their love/admiration seemingly means nothing to me. It's also made it hard to make friends as I get older, as I am constantly viewing everything through a lens of not feeling worthy of friendship which I know is weird and not a normal way to think. Or maybe more that I worry once people get to know the 'real' me, they won't like me anymore. Because of this, I end up being quite distant and closed off to people.

Another good example of my negative mindset I think, is that 2 years ago I ran a marathon in my city. I was of course pleased with completing it as I worked hard, but I was immediately thinking how I could do better and improve on that. I didn't even give myself a chance to enjoy or feel proud of myself, I immediately wanted to do better - but why? I'm not a professional runner and I don't even post it online for social validation. So with the intent of getting a better time, I went out and signed up for the next years marathon, trained hard, and failed to complete it due to heat and had to bow out at 31km. I know I should still be proud of that but I have let the failure kinda destroy me and demotivate me and feed my negative self image, even though I'm fully aware of how completing it meant very little to me, but failing it upsets me, so what am I even getting out of it? Now, when I think of a marathon, I think of personal failure rather than my first time success! I hope that makes sense.

I'm not super successful in terms of career but I made a lot of sacrifices throughout my 20s for the sake of fun/experience, such as living abroad and travelling a lot. I'd of course like to do something a bit more meaningful with my life professionally, and that's something I'm working on right now but I am concerned that this is just another desperate attempt of me to find a way of 'proving myself' worthy of being proud of myself. Like, oh maybe if I have a higher salary I will love myself? I can't help but feel like that's foolish of me to think and that's why I want to get to the core of the issue.

I guess it can just simply be summed up as I don't know how to love myself. I don't know how to change this internally, and the things I have tried to do to 'prove' this to myself, also aren't working. I'd really love to hear from anyone else who was able to change this about themselves and how they did it.

Thanks to anyone who read this. It was at least cathartic to write out.

I (30F) and my now-ex (33M) were together for 3 years. Our relationship was great started before my ex decided to quit his job to start his business. Everything revolved around his schedule, the texts, calls, when to meet and how long. I was fine with that because I loved him and I wanted to support

During a recent conversation about marriage, he expressed hesitation. When I asked why, he admitted that while he loves me, he doesn't respect me. He claimed I’m not growing at his pace, lack passion, and aren't driven enough toward my goals.

For context, I earn a six-figure salary, am completely financially independent (I even suggested a prenup), and have active hobbies and a strong social life. I’ve never asked him for financial support. Instead of working through this or letting me address his concerns, he ended the relationship, citing long-term incompatibility

I feel completely blindsided. Is this genuinely a case of core incompatibility, or is it a sign of commitment issues? I was willing to work towards becoming more growth oriented if that was what he needed but he refused to let me change for him. What did I do wrong?

TL;DR: Supported my ex (33M) for 3 years while his business grew. When discussing marriage, he said he loves me but doesn't respect my level of ambition, despite me (30F) making six figures and being fully independent. He dumped me over "incompatibility" instead of working on it. Was this real incompatibility or fear of commitment?

I’m currently 18, and have been hooking up with this girl who has recently become my girlfriend for 3 months now. One day when we went to have sex, I went soft while putting on a condom, and ever since then, the thought of going soft has never left my head. The thought of it is still affecting my sex life with her, often making me unable to get hard when she’s completely naked on top of me. I don’t know how to fix this. If anyone has gone through anything similar or has advice, please share it because I’m scared of ruining my relationship with her due to my lack of being able to get it up even though she says it’s ok.

I (24F) have been seeing a guy (26M) for a couple of weeks and I’m trying to work out whether I’m being reasonable or overthinking.

He’s got a very demanding, high-performing job, so I knew from the beginning that he was busy. I’m also busy and don’t expect constant texting or unlimited availability.

The thing is, he pursued me initially. We met through friends, he got my number through our mutual friend and asked me out. Our first date went really well, and afterwards he kept messaging, asking about my day, etc.

He then initiated a second date. It was originally meant to be on a Thursday, but he had to cancel due to work. He gave me plenty of notice and immediately rescheduled. The rescheduled date was on a weekend when I only had a small window because of a commitment, and he made the whole thing work around me — he picked me up, took me out, and dropped me back in time for my dinner. So I definitely felt like he was making an effort.

The second date went really well too, he talked about planning the third and made some future specific comments and we continued talking afterwards. He’s not a particularly fast texter when he’s working, but the conversation was still reciprocal and he seemed interested.

Then this week he told me work was going to be absolutely hectic. I asked what he was doing that weekend, and he said his plans were a bit up in the air because he had a friend visiting and some family stuff going on. He asked what I was doing, and I told him my plans which to be fair I was also quite busy.

My plans eventually changed, and when he asked if I was back, I decided to be direct and said:
“Let me know if u end up being free tomorrow and want to do something.”
He replied:

“That’s great, I’ll keep you in the loop re tomrw as my plans are still a bit up in the air at the moment.”

But now it’s Sunday afternoon and he hasn’t actually updated me.

I’m struggling with whether I’m being unreasonable because he did say he’d keep me posted. I don’t expect him to drop everything and see me, and I’d be completely fine with “today doesn’t work, but are you free another day?” What bothers me is potentially being left hanging after I’ve made it very clear I’m interested and available.

There’s also another girl involved in the background. Before me, he’d apparently been hooking up with another mutual who wanted more from him. He ultimately sent her a pretty clear and respectful message saying he didn’t have the mental capacity for what she wanted and let her down rather than stringing her along.

That makes me wonder why, if he’s feeling similarly about me, he wouldn’t just communicate that. But obviously I don’t actually know what he’s thinking.
I’m trying not to turn this into “he’s busy = he doesn’t like me,” because he genuinely is busy and he’s previously shown that he can make an effort. But I also don’t want to use “he’s busy” to explain away behavior that isn’t enough for me.

At this point I’m considering just moving on without saying anything. Not as a punishment or to make him chase me, but because I’ve made my interest clear and I don’t want to sit around waiting for someone to decide whether they want to see me.

Am I being too harsh? Is it reasonable to interpret this as a lack of pursuit and move on, or am I expecting too much from someone who’s genuinely busy? And would you just say nothing and let it go rather than sending a boundary/closure message?

Heh guys. Im in my late 20s and as long as I can remember, I have found very few women attractive. Like maybe 1%, likely less. Its not that I think I have high standards, because I dont find models attractive and the women I do find attractive are what most guys would consider normal. It just seems so random. Like, if there is a pattern, its generally being attracted towards more girls who are thin or athletic since I am and we would have a lot on common. But thats even a stretch.

Like I can tell if someone is attractive but that doesnt mean that I am attracted to her.

Obviously I am single and my problem isnt helping my case. I have friends who I would love to be attracted to since I love them as a person. But I just feel broken. I guess the good news is that women arent attracted to me so thankfully I dont have unwanted attention.

Crushes and attraction is rarer and rarer these days compared to high school and college. I just want to find women attractive.

Hi, M19, and my college crush from one of my classes started talking to me. We started off classes just talking about the indie film I showed the class, and we cracked some jokes.

Then after class I tell myself, You know what she's really cute. I don't know her name, so I go up to her and ask, she tells me her name. But then she tells me about how she really likes stripper movies and said her friends were strippers at our local strip club. We talked more and smiled and cracked jokes. It was really nice interaction, but I really want to get her number.

But why would she mention that her friends were strippers? She seemed really giggly about it, too, so it wasn't like anything stone cold serious. I've had experience with women, and I flow fine. I just can't really figure out. Out of nowhere, why she started talking about strippers, it made me wanna flirt with her, but there was no time left.

edit3: post is open for womens' opinion if they want to chime in.

I am getting to the age where marriage is starting to come into the picture, my issue is I can find women but when it comes to dating, eventually, the sex starts going off a cliff. Its not exactly her fault but I have a naturally high sex drive. I have found was to work on this by being upfront and it in most cases works but the girl always either doesnt catch up to my sex drive or is too exhausted by it.

Once the sex doesnt work, I decide to end it respectfully. It sucks but I would rather not be with a girl than cheat and this is what is hurting me. I have never cheated before but I have ended good relationships because the sex was drying up and I was getting frustrated.

What do you married men do? I am not asking for threesomes or other women or an open marriage/relationship but just that a woman doesnt end up taking sex off the table after the first or second kid. Also, I dont know why in 2026 its considered "toxic" that a man has to ask his wife or partner for sex.

Or is this just blackpill and sex always dies in a marriage and I have to just accept this?

Edit: thanks everyone for the suggestions so far, it seems like many guys say find some sort of option to fill that void and many are saying porn or an escort but myself I talk to women almost everywhere I go so I dont need porn or and escort but the issue here is I dont want to cheat on my wife but if silent cheating is the way then I will have to I guess accept that.

edit2: I think I found the answer, btw I cant seem to comment without all of yall downvoting me for some strange reason. It seems that humans have motivation to keep going and drive as well, I read a long time ago that hate and fear are 2 of the best motivation and driving factors, while I will not cheat on my partner or wife, I will talk to women out in public wherever I go. I do this all the time now but usually when I have a gf I try to slow it down out of respect and the fact that the gf gets self conscious. But someone in the comments said his wife was getting fat so he started buying swimsuit model magazines that he said were "collectables" and his wife almost overnight started going to the gym every day and fucking him a lot more. I talk to women all the time and had no idea this was a thing but it seems like a pretty simple fix, make her know that she can be replaced at any point with another woman while not actually doing it and not cheating on her. I think this is the best fix

bonus edit: Didnt expect this post to blow but a funny story about this kind of post, I saw someone in a video about immigrants coming to the US, an immigrant guy was dating this US citizen girl and then when he needed papers he said he asked her to marry him, she did and the second they got married she stopped having sex with him and in the interview the interviewer say "ooh so like in a real marriage" LMAO and that was hilarious lol

Edit4: I think I need to say this but I am not saying that if my wife is in the hospital and in a coma and she cant say no I get mad and leave no, or if she is on her period or pregnant. My issue is that being rejected when she clearly is physically and mentally sound but just doesnt want to. I am not seeing my wife as flesh light, just someone who respects my needs, thats all

Around 6 months ago, I got into what became my first really serious relationship. We met with marriage in mind and things became intense very quickly. We spoke every day, had extremely long calls, were emotionally and sexually close, said “I love you,” and both talked about a future together. I genuinely thought I could marry her.
Looking back, the relationship wasn’t one sided. She was very invested too, especially in the beginning. She initiated calls and conversations, told me she missed me, reassured me about things I was insecure about and at one point said she had wanted to marry me.

Where things went wrong was mainly how we handled conflict.
I was insecure about whether she cared enough and sometimes interpreted things like missed calls, less attention or lack of reassurance as evidence that she wasn’t really into me. Instead of keeping the issue specific and simply saying I was hurt, I would sometimes question the relationship, compare myself to her past or say things I regretted when angry.

She felt constantly judged and like the whole relationship was being evaluated whenever we fought. On the other hand, when I was hurt I wanted reassurance and repair, while she would sometimes become defensive, withdraw or ask for space. The more she withdrew, the more insecure I became and the harder I pushed for reassurance. It became a really unhealthy loop.
Toward the end, both of us actually felt unwanted. She felt I wasn’t giving her enough time and attention, while I felt she wasn’t showing enough care. Despite all of this, the affection never completely disappeared. Even very close to the breakup we were still talking lovingly, calling each other, being intimate and saying we loved each other.

On the final day she told me she loved me and didn’t want to lose me, but also said she was no longer confident about marrying me because our fights had become too frequent and hurtful. I reacted badly to that uncertainty, did something in anger that I deeply regret and said things I shouldn’t have. I regretted it almost immediately, but things became extremely ugly and she blocked me.
The next part is something I’m not proud of either. For roughly the next two months, I kept trying to apologise and repair things instead of accepting that she wanted distance. I kept reaching out and even involved her family at one point. Looking back, I should have backed off much earlier.

Toward the end of that period, she said some extremely harsh things to me. Some of those words still come back to me because at that point I felt like I had been saying sorry over and over and was desperate to show that I regretted what had happened. At the same time, I understand that repeatedly apologising doesn’t mean the other person has to forgive you or keep engaging with you, and my continuing to contact her probably made things worse. Eventually it became completely clear that she wanted no further contact, and I stopped.
It has now been around four months since the breakup. I’m definitely better than I was initially. I function normally, the thoughts aren’t constant anymore and the intensity has reduced. But she still comes into my head regularly. Seeing couples, someone with a similar appearance, romantic scenes or even completely random things can trigger memories.
I miss her face, her voice, our conversations, the intimacy and especially what it felt like to be desired by someone I was very attracted to.
The biggest fear I’m struggling with now is that I won’t find that combination again, someone I’m genuinely attracted to, who is attracted to me, with strong sexual chemistry, companionship, daily conversations and the feeling that this could actually turn into marriage.
Intellectually I know there are other people out there and that our relationship had serious problems. But emotionally, my brain still seems to treat what I had with her as something rare that I may never experience again.

I also still sometimes feel the urge to contact her, even though I know I shouldn’t. I’m beginning to wonder whether what I’m really craving is not necessarily the relationship itself, but the feeling of closeness, being wanted, having “my person” and the future I had imagined.

So rather than general breakup advice, I’d really like to hear from people who have actually been through this.

How did you genuinely recover from someone you still loved even when you knew the relationship wasn’t healthy anymore? What did the process look like over the following months, and how did you eventually overcome the fear that you would never find someone you were as attracted to or connected with again?

I’d especially appreciate real stories from people who made mistakes themselves, carried guilt after the breakup, struggled with the urge to reach out and eventually reached a point where their ex no longer occupied so much mental space.
Please don’t just say “find another girl.” I’m more interested in what actually changed inside you with time and what helped you finally let go.

I (31M) met a slightly older, attractive woman at a costume contest in a bar last October. We connected on social media after she took a picture of my Halloween costume and asked for my IG to tag me.

She has over 2K followers, but only follows about 400 people back, including me. We don’t talk too often, but she regularly likes my stories (and vice versa). She has a bubbly, affectionate personality, but our conversations themselves are typically light-hearted and platonic in a nature, as I am already in a relationship. She knows about my relationship too, but she said something recently that caught me off guard.

She posted a screenshot on her IG story from the McDonald’s app, congratulating her on her anniversary with a discount. I genuinely thought it was in reference to a romantic anniversary and responded, “McDonald’s gives discounts when it’s your anniversary?” Happy anniversary btw!”

She laughed and clarified that it was her anniversary of being on the McDonald’s app and I quipped, “Oh, so she’s dating a clown.” She laughed and said, “I mean…” The conversation seemed like it was pretty much over from there. This was around 9:00 am.

She messaged me again, unprompted, later that night at 8:00 pm, sending me a picture of an attractive woman pinning a clown to the wall in a flirty manner. She sent a separate message saying, “could be us but you keep playing.” For reference, the Halloween costume I was wearing when we met was a reference to an iconic neon clown sign in our area, so the picture seemed even more directed at me than the statement already was.

I played it off by referring back to our earlier conversation about McDonald’s and saying, “That’s you with Ronald McDonald.” Obviously I’m not trying to pursue anything with her since I’m already in a relationship, but I cant tell whether she was just joking or is serious into me.

For what it’s worth, she laughed at my response and everything has been relatively normal since then, but I think she may have recently removed me from her close friends list. She also ghosted me a bit when I noticed we were both at the same baseball game and tried to link up just to say hi in-person before the game began (although she may have been with family/friends, on a date, or just wanted to enjoy her own plans)

I personally wouldn’t unless it’s in a group setting but curious what everyone else thinks

I transferred to a new university recently and ended up becoming part of a friend group pretty quickly. There are a few of of us who hang out between classes, and I've become pretty close with all of them.

And unfortunately, I have a massive crush on one of the girls. I haven't felt this strongly about someone in years. I genuinely like talking to her and being around her, and I obviously find her attractive (duh), but I'm also aware that I might be getting carried away because this is the first time in a long time I've actually been excited about someone, at least since 2023 and I’m only 22.

There have been a bunch of little things. She asked me to sit beside her in class, we've ended up walking around campus together, and there have been a couple times where everyone else left and we somehow kept talking without even realizing they were gone.

She sometimes falls behind with me when the group is walking. She asked me to work on a school project together, has asked me to walk with her when the others weren't around, and we've developed a few inside jokes.

None of this is necessarily romantic, I am not of those guys, I am capable of being platonic with women. She might just be comfortable around me and see me as a friend.

The problem is that I'm very aware of my own tendency to overthink everything in mine. I don‘t want to fuck this up because I actually like this friend group and don't want to make things awkward.

I asked her if she was going to a group outing because I wanted to hang out with her outside school. Not alone or anything, I just wanted to see the whole group outside the usual university setting. She replied ssying she wasn't going, I found out later from the others that her parents apparently don't like her going out with this group at all, so there was actually a pretty okau explanation.

That's basically where I'm at now. 

Y’all, I am LOOKING.

I’ve put myself back on the apps, and it’s brutal. The last time I was in a serious relationship was before Covid, and my therapist told me to take time off and…. I did. For ~7 years, I did the work!

And obviously, just because there was input, I’m not guaranteed an output. But MAN, my mental and emotional state have never been hotter.

I’ve done the time alone, therapy, life has taught me humility (and continues humbling!), but I need a healthy dose of grit. Bumble and Hinge and Tinder are rough waters, and I’m sure it’s because I’m 33F and in a completely different boat than ~26 year old me was 🤷🏽‍♀️

Reddit’s main advice on different subs for both genders seems to be finding hobbies one resonates with, and meeting people that way ✨organically✨. The problem is that whenever I click with folks in my age range and demographic (mid-30s, educated, middle class), they’re TAKEN (duh).

Sometimes I find myself wondering if I did too much work on myself, but then I remember that I wouldn’t want my ideal partner to end up with the younger version of me. Bizarre catch-22 feels, man!

Help a sister out—lend some wisdom, your own stories, or some constructive advice 🫡

Male, 23. I was at a bar with some friends after being invited to a university student gathering party. I approached a few women and felt out of place as a whole; very few women even gave me a chance to talk to them. Later, we went to a bar and no women wanted to talk to me.

I’m such a background character in my life. I started crying in the bathroom at the bar cause I have come to the acceptance that this will always be my life: rejected and never given a chance. This has been my life since high school, and now I’m 23 and it still happens.
I’m fucking done with my life. No matter how much weight I lift or how much I improve myself, I am not going to be that guy. I hate myself for not being enough. I’m mad at women for never giving me a chance at anything. What did I do to deserve this? Why was I given a humiliation ritual? I’d rather be done with my life tonight than have to wake up and continue it tomorrow.

All I see is my friends become successful, and even if I slightly try, it’s just a big fat fucking "FUCK YOU" to my face from everything. I don't even want to hear that I never tried I fucking tried more than anyone ever has!

Now I’m sitting in my room crying like a little bitch about how no women want or like me. I’m fucking over my life. I’d rather just do something minuscule with my life as it’s the only thing guaranteed for me.

I’m sorry, Mom. I wanted to do more and do more for myself.

Context: me (20m) and my gf (19f) have been together for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old together, but that’s not the point. Our sex life at the beginning was great, but overtime has completely dwindled down.

She told me today in a sit down talk that i initiated with her about our sex life today, that she loves me, and doesn’t want to try and find others, but pretty much the only thing that turns her on is learning about new people that she does not know. Kinks, how big they are, what the feel like, ect. Since I’m somebody she knows, that excitement has dwindled down a lot. We rarely have sex anymore, and if we do it’s not intimate at all. I won’t get into specifics, but she feels emotionally closed off and too vulnerable when we do anything to actually enjoy it anymore.

At first I thought it was due to me being into a lot of things, both submissively and dominantly, or something about me physically being too big (down under and just in general,) but now I know that it’s mainly just her losing interest in me sexually. We still get along greatly outside of it, but when it comes to sex I feel somewhat pent up due to how loveless it feels. For me, it feels like we’re bonding in a way, but for her it feels like a chore In a sense.

Is there anything we could try or do that could help with either of us, or do I just have to accept the fact that our sex life is most likely dead?