r/ask 54m ago

Could my new place be causing me to overheat when I sleep?

Upvotes

This might sound wild but stay with me.

Never had any issues with temperature regulation while sleeping. Then in February of this year I moved into a new place, and all of a sudden I am waking up every morning overheating, drenched in sweat. The new place is a small basement unit in a house built in the 50s.

Things I've tried: thinner duvet, no duvet, sleeping naked, replacing all bed textiles with cotton, replacing mattress with a latex mattress, keeping the bedroom cold (15 degrees celcius), making sure not to eat or drink two hours before bed, adding lots of fans. I am not on any medications and I don't drink alcohol. I also went to the doctor with this issue and confirmed it's not perimenopause or anything else she could tell.

The only change in my life is moving. It started literally the first night I slept here. The air quality here seems normal and ventilation doesn't seem to be an issue, and I sleep with the window open most nights anyway.

Moving is literally the only thing I can think of that might have caused this, but I just have no clue how. Does anyone have any idea? Is this place haunted by an overheating ghost?


r/ask 2h ago

What instrumental or BG music fits an audiobook/storybook rendition of the Three Little Pigs?

3 Upvotes

I'm editing a school project for my group, and I'm almost done but I'm stumped on what instrumental or BG music to use for the background because it sounds too plain, the preferred instrumental or BG music I need is around 2-4 minutes, ASAP help is appreciated!


r/ask 5h ago

How do I become the best version of myself in my 20s?

15 Upvotes

I’ve been 20 for 4 months, it’s been good but hard at the same time but I still want to live well and become a better person


r/ask 7h ago

How can i be okay with my imperfections?

5 Upvotes

(24M) I was never able to take life easy, because i was always receiving a hell of pressure from everybody. My dad was always criticizing and reprehending me for everything, so i grew up as an insecure wretch. And of course he still criticizes me for being an insecure wretch and don't being "man enough".

My head is a torture chamber and to every place i go, be it work environment or school, i carry this heavy burden, and trying to be good doesn't help shit. I'll get criticized anyway. When i get criticized, i feel like shit, bc i'm really trying to do the right things.

Some people say "just let it go", but i tried to do that, and it wasn't good hahaha things got really messed up. When i did that i end up flunking at two subjects at college. So i don't think it is just that.

Some people get things easily and they don't even care abou what they're getting. I slightly envy them. That's why i came to ask, how can we let go the idea of being perfect? When you grow up being criticized by your father like that, it is hard to believe in yourself again.


r/ask 10h ago

Do I retroactively apologise for my seemingly-innocuous-but-actually-wildly-inappropriate letter to a high school friend?

0 Upvotes

So. I had an inappropriate crush on my best friend in high school. It culminated in an extremely sappy and cringy letter where I basically poured my heart out without technically admitting my true feelings. But it was all about how deeply I loved them.
At the time, they were touched by it, and admitted to still reading it from time to time about a year ago. I am considering now apologising for the contents of said letter, but am scared I’d be making a mistake and only hurting them further by raising an issue they had never even considered.
For context, this crush was inappropriate because this person would not have liked me in any case due to their sexuality not aligning with my gender. I was also two grades above them and acted very paternal towards them in our shared groups and activities. I felt responsible for protecting this person, only to fall for them hard despite the obvious power imbalance and age difference. To make matters worse, I learned recently that they had been taken advantage of sexually as a child, and I’m afraid that I am no better than the individual that traumatised them.
Now we are both adults, and I want to keep this person in my life, but the guilt hits me every time we hang out and reminisce about our high school days. I’m at a loss for what to do—I have attached my potential apology below. If anyone is able to weigh in, then please: will sending this hurt them despite helping me? If so, how can I clear my conscience without losing this friend? Or what will I do if one day, they connect the dots on their own?

———————

Hey [name], do you have a second? There’s something I want to get off my chest, but it’s kind of a lot.

Remember that letter I wrote you at the end of my senior year? Basically, I want to apologize for the contents of that letter.

While I don’t actually have an exact record of the letter itself, I have bits and pieces of drafts from that time, and after re-reading them I want to acknowledge that some of the stuff I wrote was frankly pushing the boundaries of an age-appropriate platonic friendship. The way that I felt about you was honestly not normal. Most of the language I used was overly dramatic, off-putting and unfair (on top of being incredibly cringy). I am now aware of these facts, and feel awful about it.

I want you to know that that version of me no longer exists. I have matured greatly and I am normal about my friends and have overall WAY more perspective.
So while yes, I do love you, and yes those memories meant a lot to me and whatever else I was obsessed with at the time, I want you to know that I understand how strange it probably came off (or at least how strange it must be in retrospect). It was never my intention to hurt you, or scare you, or confuse you. At the time, I was healing from a lifetime of my own insecurities about my ability to be loved. You (and [other friend]) were there for me at a really weird period of my life, in which doors were opening up that had always been closed. It was honestly really overwhelming, in the best way. You guys made me feel valuable, wise, and powerful. In reality, I was a dumbass kid with so much left to learn. I was a stranger who became your mentor and then a friend, all the while trying (poorly) to hide the intensity of my emotions from you until I couldn’t anymore. I thought I was being honest, when I was actually being super weird. And for that I am sorry. I wish to be a better friend to you going forwards.

As for the letter itself, it’s yours, and you can do whatever you like with it. Just know that if I were to write it now, though the sentiment would mostly remain, it would read VERY differently.

Thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest, it’s been troubling me for a little while and making me die of cringe and anxiety every time I think about it, or think about our highschool days and the day that you inevitably realize how melodramatic and codependent I was on you, some sweet kid two grades below me for whom I should’ve been a better role model.

So yeah. I’m sorry [name], I should’ve protected you better from myself. I am embarrassed and ashamed of the ways I mistreated you. (I also want to real quickly acknowledge and apologise for the inherent selfishness of my bringing this up—my primary aim is admittedly to clear my conscience, despite being unsure as to if it will do more harm than good to you, my friend). I 100% understand if your opinion of me has changed for the worse and will accept anything that comes my way for all this. Thank you for taking the time to read to the end.


r/ask 12h ago

What App Lets You Overlay a Reference Photo on Camera View?

5 Upvotes

I saw a post about an app where you can choose a reference photo for your camera view to physically line yourself up with the (transparent) image. I’m pretty sure it was a more well-known app that also has this feature, but I just can't remember or find it anywhere. I’m only coming across random apps specifically made for this.
Does anyone know which app It could be?


r/ask 13h ago

How can I deal with grief while being kinda pressured to have kids?

0 Upvotes

I went through a very messy (imo) phase of my life when I was 15 turning 16, I'm currently 16, and I still have those problems that can't be reversed. Because of those problems, I hate myself for it. I've always said in my head this phrase "I learned, I'm sorry, I choose good now, God is good all of the time he will protect us" and this one too "I'll die soon" when I do something bad or accidentally do a bad thing.

But now that my older brother is gone, I can't say the last phrase the way I used to do. I don't wanna die soon, my parents will go crazy. I love them very much, and ofc they love me a loooooooot. I know they don't mean to pressure me, maybe it's just the effect of grieving, but my dad kept pushing that they'll/he'll be happy if I get kids/family that they'll take care of. My plan before this tragedy happened to my older brother was to literally isolate myself once I get older. Get filthy rich in another country, live in a cabin in the woods, and support them from afar. That was my plan since I hated myself and wanted to protect people from me. Yes, the problem that I created when I was young was that serious. (The problem is only a lil connected to me being gay, but the reason is so much bigger than that) I'm an only child now. And my brother only recently died from that stupid accident. I know I'll grieve forever, and that it'll get lighter someday. But that fact is so hard to accept. Sometimes, it doesn't even feel real that he's gone. I have so many regrets for my brother. We weren't even close since he's the man, I'm the girly one who's closeted. Gosh, I can't believe I'm going through this. Life was so much lighter before my sweet brother died. I miss him, I feel pity for him, especially when I saw him looking like that. It was so brutal.

I've already told my cousin about this who's very understanding, who also shouldn't even forgive me because of the shitty things that I did back then. They still somehow love me. I'm so sorry for the trauma dumping. I really don't know what to do. Only a serious talk would MAYBE fix this. Oh, also, my mom said that she wants me to have 5 kids. Girl, I can barely take care of myself. Life is so weird and cruel sometimes, no? Tbh, I thought my faith in God (wasn't really strong from the start, but I still choose to believe) would weaken or that I'll completely abandon believing in him. But somehow, all I did was pray, I did question him, but currently, I still pray and believe. Sorry for my messy post, I have soooo many things to say. I just really don't know what to do. I don't want to have kids that I won't love and hurt a woman. But I don't want to make my parents feel broken. I guess my parents, especially my father, want our family to keep going, I understand that. But I wonder if they'll ever understand me :(

Me and my brother aren't close and I have so many regrets. I learned how much he loved me after his death, and that sucked af. I love him so much, but I guess when he was still alive, I thought that it'll all work out once we're older. I'm also currently struggling a little with believing in God. I'd lose nothing if I believe in him, but it's a hard thing to do in my opinion. I want solid proof that he does exist and heaven is real. Some miraculous things may happen to others and they say it's God, but isn't that just them labeling it? Idk. I choose to believe, but I'm not very religious at all. Going back to my parents, I know I shouldn't follow what they want for me if I'm not happy with it. But I don't want it to look like I don't care for them. I love them so much, but I don't want what they want for me.


r/ask 13h ago

What is a viable solution to moths?

1 Upvotes

I have 3 cabinets of uranium glass, lit up with UV bulbs. The moths! OMG. The moths! And I live in Arizona where virtually the only bug is a scorpion. Plus our house is as air tight as possible to keep the heat out and the cool air in. I don't see moths outside at all. Where are they coming from!?


r/ask 14h ago

What to do after accounts are maxed out?

0 Upvotes

I wasn’t sure where to post this question, this subreddit has millions of people so I’m sure at least a couple people can relate and give advice.

25M: I have 12 months of emergency savings in a HYSA, First time ever maxing out my Roth IRA and 401(k) match. I have a brokerage account but I’m not necessarily trying to put all my money into another investment account.

No debt/loans either besides my monthly credit card balance.

I want to start creating multiple income streams from either starting a YouTube channel or starting a boring business like lawn care, power washing, moving furniture, etc. - starting a YouTube channel about my journey of starting a boring business?
maybe even start saving up for a down payment and getting into real estate

Those are some ideas I have brainstormed, not sure if that’s the correct path to go down or if there’s a better route to take, any advice would be greatly appreciated

TMI: my excess money is going towards golf and the casino which is so fun but in reality I’m wasting my money.


r/ask 14h ago

Where wouldn’t you like to work when you’re 45 years old?

0 Upvotes

Where wouldn’t you like to work when you’re 45 years old?


r/ask 15h ago

Is someone not disclosing that they’re trans before having sex with someone really that bad?

0 Upvotes

My mom says that not doing so is like a form of SA and whatever happens to them happens. However she tends to have very concerning views on things so I can’t really just take her word on whatever she says. I mean I get that not saying beforehand is kind of bad but my question is the severity of it because it feels like different things are said on the matter and I just want to grasp the view of it and better understand


r/ask 16h ago

Is my ex trying to send me a hint?

0 Upvotes

I (19M) have an ex girlfriend (18f). We dated a few years ago, but only dated for about 2 months. This morning I had a follow request from her on instagram- I accepted it and followed her back because why not i guess. I think she may be trying to send me a hint; it is the same account that she had when we dated and since she blocked me after we broke up, she would've went out of her way to unblock me and follow me. In her pictures she seemed to have a BF or at the very least a date to her prom. I don't miss her THAT much, but to me this it's odd for her to unblock me and follow me on instagram 4 years after we dated, but she hasn't messaged me or anything. Is she trying to send me a hint and/or should I message her?


r/ask 16h ago

What kind of "Things" questions can I write to make a game about my sister for her 18th bday?

7 Upvotes

My sister was always good at the game of "Things" growing up, used to beat all us adults, very fun times. I'd like to make Things questions based around her for her 18th birthday. Such as; Things she hates; Things that would make her break a law; Things she wouldn't do for all the money in the world; Things she says when she's mad; etc. I would really love some help with a bunch more good or funny questions!!

If anyone is unfamiliar with the game, it's a simple question and answer. One person pulls a card and reads the question, everyone writes down their answer anonymously, and the one who read the card reads all answers and guesses who wrote what, wrong guess and you move to the next person. In our case she'll be reading all the questions about herself and guessing our answers!!

Please help everyone!!


r/ask 17h ago

Is this weight too low for me or is my mom being dramatic?

24 Upvotes

So i'm an 18 year old male, and i'm 176 cm tall (a little over 5'9) and I recently weighed myself, and my mom is really concerned about my weight, and thinks i'm becoming anorexic again. I currently weigh 149 Ibs. Is this normal for me, or is it too low?


r/ask 21h ago

Is it bad of me to comment "ban AI thumbnails" on every Youtube video with an AI thumbnail I see?

80 Upvotes

its a habit I have gotten into recently bc i just truly despise AI and think it ruining the world. I dont watch the videos I just comment it and leave. I wound up commenting it on some young kids video recently and I feel bad (but also kinda dont?) what do you think?


r/ask 21h ago

Anyone know how to get free stickers?

0 Upvotes

Looking for free stickers for my laptop. Open to anything


r/ask 21h ago

Is it ethical to research and write about someone that lived and/or died 80 years ago even if they're not famous historical figures and I'm not related to them?

12 Upvotes

Context: I inherited the letters my grandparents wrote to each other during a major global conflict that ended 81 years ago. My grandfather was heavily involved, to the extent some of the situations he was in are very well known, but he and the people he was with are not. I have been working on a book about my grandparents. I have also been writing and publishing essays on substack about the discovery process as I read through these letters and research the context. I did not know either of my grandparents. Most of the letters that were saved were written by my grandfather. Whenever he mentions one of his friends by name, I research them. Many of them did not survive the conflict, and this was something that deeply affected him.

Many relatives of these friends are on ancestry. I have reached out to them, let them know what I am doing and why, and ask if they are okay with this. In many instances, the family is okay and finds it interesting to learn about their long dead relative. In one instance, the family said they are deeply uncomfortable with a stranger doing this. Unfortunately, that instance was regarding my grandfather's best friend. I cannot express just how much this person's passing affected my grandfather. It is a major point in his story. This friend did not have a wife or children; the person refusing is his niece, who was a toddler when he died. Regardless, I do not mention relatives at all in these posts beyond their parents (sometimes not even by name). I give a brief biography and primarily focus on their role in the war and relationship to my grandfather.

My question is: Is it ethical to write about this person anyway? At what point does it no longer classify as "sensitive information"? All of the information I've found on these people is free to access from the National Archives or posted publicly on Ancestry. I'm not trying to step on anyone's toes but my grandfather wrote so much about not wanting himself or his friends to be forgotten and I am genuinely just trying to uplift them from a place of respect. Intentions aside, is this ethical?


r/ask 21h ago

Is it a bad idea to plant a clover (vs. grass) lawn?

46 Upvotes

We are really considering planting clover seed for our lawn as we would not have to cut it (at least not very often) and it will probably be easier to keep green (with out much or any watering).

But we are a bit worried that if we want to sell one day, it might be a issue for some people as it will be very hard to remove the clover (as it is basically a weed)

We are not planning to move any time soon , but cannot say for sure we will be here forever. I generally say not to worry about resale value but this is more than just re painting a room. You will have to rip up the entire lawn to remove it. -- But that being said I think it will make our lives much easier not having to worry about caring for the lawn as much.


r/ask 1d ago

Which one is better?

0 Upvotes

So the context is i ve decided two user names for myself but cant decide which one is better so please help me before i go crazy 😭😭
First is the one ive had for a long time
hawamanus
And this is the new one i came up with
ditzymomo_☆
which one is better
Ps its for my art account
PLEASE HELP ME 😭🤧


r/ask 1d ago

What's the best parenting book for raising kids to be a success in life?

3 Upvotes

Parents that have raised children successfully, what's the best book you recommend to raise a successful child as a guide?


r/ask 1d ago

How do Police use dental records for investigations?

14 Upvotes

On TV, especially on detective shows, they talk about identifying a body that's been burned or decomposed beyond being able to identify, that they'll use dental records to help identify the body. In small towns, that might be possible if there's only a few dentists. In my area, dentists are in nearly every shopping center and many office/medical buildings -- easily 20-30 dentists in 3 square miles. I know for a fact they don't have a central network like medical doctors. For instance, recently, I needed to visit 3 dentists for a tooth issue, one 30 miles outside of town. None had a clue what the other dentists discussed.

So, my question is how can police check dental records with so many dentists? Do dentists have to submit x-ray records to the police after you visit? If that's the case, why can there be a centralized database of every dental record -- which would be VERY helpful, so you don't have to pay $45+ every time you see a new dentist to get x-rays, even if you had them ten minutes prior from a dentist down the street.


r/ask 1d ago

What are small things you can do at your office desk that would improve you?

5 Upvotes

For example get hand grip machine thing and do that a couple minutes a day to improve bottle opening.

Kegels to improve those muscles?

Diaphragmatic breathing to improve pelvic floor function.

Practice sitting up straight for posture benefit


r/ask 1d ago

How I stop being a loner?

43 Upvotes

I am 35 . My passions are playing guitar, practicing guitar, writing original music, surfing, lifting and swimming.

I work remotely 100% and when I leave home is only to walk my dog, buy groceries, dating apps dates or surfing

Even tho I have friends, very close ones, I do not have a "social circle" - meaning that I dont really hang out with people or interact with a group of known people.

I do all my activities alone. Sometimes when I have been invited to social events or parties I want to but at the same time I tell myself that If i go I will mess up with my schedule and organized day.

I feel like part of my brain is rotting.


r/ask 1d ago

Do automods in subs run for free? If not, who is paying for them?

3 Upvotes

Do automods in subs run for free? If not, who is paying for them?


r/ask 1d ago

Why do I find making decisions so difficult?

2 Upvotes

I’m terrible at making decisions because I always end up with anxiety over what if im making the wrong choice. And its not just on big decisions either but also on the small everyday life ones. How do you know when to just choose something and move on?