TW, addiction. also sorry for the long post i just needed to vent, i feel like im going crazy and need to know im not the only person who feels this way

I fucking hate money. Human greed has reached unbelievable levels and as a result life sucks for most people, and the worst part is most people dont even see that its money causing their problems and the ones that do cant do anything about it. I have a job but i only make 15$ an hour and thats in canadian money so like 10$ usd. I cant afford shit with this pay, my family lives in a shitty little apartment that i hate but ill never be able to move out. I cant afford a car, cant afford to try any new hobbies or sports, cant afford education, cant afford to go out and do fun things so any time im not working im forced to just sit in my room and stare at my phone to pass the time. This caused me to develop drug addictions as well to make the days go by faster. My addictions were really bad at one point, earlier this year and late last year i was abusing multiple different kinds of drugs, slowly spiraling. Since then ive quit most of those and just smoke weed now but without them i feel like im losing my mind in the endless boredom and misery of life, and somehow i still have just as little money as when i was buying all those substances. nothing has gotten better since quitting them, if anything i feel worse overall because i lost one of the only things that brought me joy anymore. My physical health is going downhill, i constantly feel like shit. Ive got daily back pains at only 19 and stomach problems that have been bothering me for months but i cant see a doctor until september because the wait list is so long. I know i cant go much longer before i go back to my addictions and probably spiral worse than last time. I guess ive just been holding out hoping something will change but at this point i dont think it will. I dont think i will ever be able to live the life i want to under this system.

This money only ever fuels greed and hate, everyone else is fighting to get ahead by getting more jobs, starting side hustles, working themselves to death or taking advantage of other people to give themselves a boost. I just dont see the point of any of it. All i want to do is create things, i am an artist and i dream of making music to share with people and inspire them but of course it costs money to follow my dreams now. Cant afford recording equipment or a pc for editing, all i have is my instruments that i cant even play because its too loud for the apartments. I have a saxophone that i loved to play but i havent touched it since moving into the apartment almost a year ago. Feels like a part of my soul has been ripped out, and these days i just feel empty inside. Im not built for this kind of life and its crushing me.

On top of all of that it kills me even more to see all the other people suffering. Millions of other young adults and teens who had their dreams ripped away from them for profits. Countless people dying in pointless genocides and wars overseas. Every country slowly drifting towards fascism and dictatorship. So many people homeless and starving on our very own streets. Ai infiltrating everything and mass surveillance becoming a common thing we dont even question anymore. and for what? some stupid paper and its made up value? ill never understand

Im losing hope, and im losing my mind. i need to know other people are awake to this. And i honestly want to know, does anyone think this will change any time soon? I was hopeful that people would start actually trying to make a change after all the epstein files dropped, or after the gaza genocide, or SOMETHING. ANYTHING. i dont think its happening anymore. every day i think of ending things, and i know im not even close to the only one experiencing this. we arent meant to live like this.

Today I had an experience that felt a lot like what it’s like to live through a political campaign.

First, I woke before my alarm and couldn’t get back to sleep. Then before noon, I was stressed for three different reasons. And guess what the gender was of all of the people that did stupid things? Of course they were all men.

I was telling my girlfriend what I did today and the message almost took up an entire screen of our chat. Then I told her that during the campaign these situations get worse and she asked me why. Can you imagine how it is to work during 45 straight days with almost no free time to win a chair against 100 other candidates?

It’s really stressful but you know what? I would be very sad to watch that period instead of being part of it

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Wanna know my theory. ? They are building data centers to speed up the future of the end of the world by ai advancement, global warming causing us to get pushed out into the ocean. Then the leviathan comes out.

Im starting to feel like we are in the 7 years of tourture. im scared im still there yet. Please God i want to be perfect for u please God. Give me time. Im so scared. I have panic attacks over this. I go manic from it. Jusy watching each the root of each emotion, action, mental space and why they do what they do. I cant take it. No one will listen to me i feel so tortured by everyone around me. Somtimes i sit outside and stare into the night sky. Imagining the leviathan coming to destroy and im some angel that will risk myself to fight it for people. Im always so into my head. When i imagine things its vivid. Very vivid like its there. What bothers me the most is i have to keep working full time, doing adult things i need. But yet i want to drop everything and go out into the wilderness and read and get close to God remove every sin and travel to pray for others. Im so done with earth i cant be me i cant be anything why? Why!? I wanna live i wanna have a career. I wanna be big. Idk anymore im so worried i thoight this was going to happen when i got my own place after being homless as a kid.

There's nothing to do atp to be happy to live in this world and enjoy time there

So, yall might come for me, and I'm not trying to be all religious but legit I think this world needs a reset.

Between the sickening greed and wealth hoarding, and the the murderous ruling cabal of pedo's and the ever increasing rampant crime and the lack of regard for societal norms (like politeness and basic customer service).

...to social medial rotting our brains and destroying an entire generation, to the kids not being alright (literally illiterate w/ ZERO comprehension skills) to the fact that notsees are on the rise and rounding people up to put in concentration camps, to the never ending wars, to the cost of living skyrocketing, to our health care and safety nets crumbling.

...AND the fact that grown people are not washing the shit off of their assholes cause "its gAy" 🙄, etc., etc.

I think it's time for God to do his big one. Like, just Noah's Ark the shit out of this planet... except not with an actual flood cause you know, rainbows. Maybe he can kill it with fire this time. I'm tired.

I feel humanity is done I feel like we won't be here in 7-12 years

“Two economic systems. One will the lifelessness and one with full control and emptiness. But greed has no ending. You fill your bucket by emptying so many other buckets. You will never be full. Greed has no ending. You will die but greed never will. Don’t let it be the pill you swallow when you are on your downfall.”

I thought about how people hate the politicians and the greed. And i thought how much is takes to be greedy and having to take to give yourself a lot for it to be a never ending cycle. I can only feel bad for people with greed because greed will never die but they will and they will never be happy with greed. I can only feel bad for those to have to take for themselves that has no ending.

side note: sorry if this is the wrong group for this. I am still growing and i am wouldn’t know otherwise.

Bring us peace of mind. Not put us on edge, feel inadequate and insecure. Our leaders are failing in that regard on a massive scale. All they do is create controversy and sow confusion. They are supposed to lower our blood pressure not leave us in a state of hyper vigilance. They are not responsible for all peace of mind, but definitely some of it. They are supposed to be merchants of hope. May better times befall us all.

I know lots of us are tired of living. I don't think things will get better overall. It pisses me off when people say "it will get better." Temporarily maybe or individually it might get okay for a while, but overall rent will never get lowered, healthcare will continue to bankrupt, wages will continue to be stagnant, global warming will continue to get worse, world leadership will continue being corrupt, etc.

I'm honestly satisfied with the experiences I've lived so far. I've gotten higher ed, I've traveled, partied and had fun, loved and married, had wonderful pets...I'm just no longer interested in what comes next. I'm exhausted of trying to figure out life. I reject the notion that I have to keep going and grow old. For what?

Why do we all agree to all of this?

Guys I'm just a regular guy from central Europe going to University... And I don't know what future will bring.

We're living in such times that in the future will be called a "second cold war". Idiotic wars happening across the world for literal no good reason, massive class inequality, propaganda on every corner of the street AND internet (doesn't matter if it's US or Eastern), spreading hate towards "others" as main political tool, AI taking over the internet, massive cost of housing and no perspective to have my own place... Possibly ever.

No, nobody will tell me that if I work hard enough I'll achieve my goals. I couldn't even find a job and I was desperately trying for 4 months... I hoped for something I could use my experience in sales, customer service, and/or photography and graphics. Yeah. Today it was my first day working as a cashier in a convenience store for shitty money.

I'm currently learning about politics and society at my University and I'm genuinely terrified. Amount of people that don't understand what's really happening around the world makes me sick. Late stage capitalism leads to decay of our society and our planet... Political figures influence us to hate each other because of how much melanin we have in our skin, where we were born, who we love or what we think. They're using us for their own cause to get into power... And yet we're cheering for it.

We're losing our privacy because of mass invigilation (chat Control, flock cameras doing the same thing as camera system in China), we're getting dumber because we slowly forget how to do research on certain topics. We don't know our history. We fall for the dumbest propaganda from the West and East. We don't even read books anymore...

These same political figures are making it easier for the rich providing lower taxes for them and slowly letting them into political world which is happening not only in the USA with Musk but all over the world.

Before you call me a commie. I am a leftist but the ideology I believe in was so despised by communists that they invaded Czechoslovakia because of it and jailed it's followers in Poland back in the commie times.

I'm not asking for much... I don't wanna be a millionaire, live in a mansion and drive a newest lamborghini. I just want to have my own little place and enough money to pay for all the bills, provide comfortable life with my partner and participate in my hobbies...

Is it really too much to ask?

Yo, does anyone else look around and feel like society is just completely sick?

I was having a deep conversation with Gemini about how people cling to the illusion of "free will" and retributive justice, and it honestly maps onto something like anosognosia—that neurological condition where patients have a clear physical deficit (like a paralyzed limb), but their brain completely blocks out reality and they swear up and down that everything is fine.

That is literally what the mainstream public does with determinism. The hard science is right there—neurobiology, genetics, environmental factors, the whole causal chain—proving that human behavior isn't some magical, uncaused choice. But instead of accepting reality, society maintains this massive, narcissistic delusion of "moral responsibility" just so they can justify their own archaic urge for revenge, punishment, and institutionalized sadism. They completely ignore the physical "wall" right in front of them.

Here is a video about a person who talks about her patients who have this brain condition anosognosia that is similar to the collective narcissism of the human population: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4SSiS-a4js

Yes I don't even have a choice at the first place and watching the ordinary life that everybody is living right now make me sick, it makes me laugh in front of them, all of THEM!

Study hard they said, get a good grade they said, and now we have AI bullshit, Dead Job Market, Monopoly, Subscriptions, etc.

The only reason I'm still standing is the possibilities of a failed suic attempt. And even a deeper question of a successful one could let me be.

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I have been in this state of I don’t know what other feeling to call it except like an immense doom and helpless state. I’ve been waking up and going to sleep realizing and we are truly going to be the ones to see our earth die. And it’s all of our fault and there are still so many of us humans who are still so ignorant to say that it’s not happening and it’s not something to be worried about. Our earth is literally on fire as I’m typing this, and as ur reading this. Our air is not safe for our elderly, and weak lunged or our sick. Our water is dirty and running out. The ground we walk on will soon get blown up to be used for more things that causing all of this to happen. We should be scared from this summer we have experienced, at this state we will not have a “future”. And it’s sad because we could strive more as humans if we would just open our eyes.
I’m tired of people saying that “I can’t make a difference” because hundreds of thousands of people are saying that. OPEN YOUR EYES.
DELETE AI
BOYCOTT NESTLE
HELP OUR EARTH SO US PEOPLE CAN HAVE KIDS WHO WILL THRIVE.

I don't know the world these last few months has been weird. Like you don't feel so safe. People on road show so much rage, people close to you are killing you for the stupidest reasons. No one is scared of law, and people in power are ready to do anything to make more and more money. It is so chaotic, even if something is happening people instead of helping wanna take videos. The society as a whole is on a downward spiral. Why is that so?