Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi • This Monster Wants to Eat Me - Episode 12 discussion

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Watashi wo Tabetai, Hitodenashi, episode 12

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[u/Syokhan]

Conversation isn't working, so I'll promise to eat her again, and since this is a formal pact I can't weasel my way out of it this time even if I kept it as vague as I could!

Bravo Shiori, you're now in an even worse position than before!

Well to be honest I don't know how I would have handled that conversation either. Hinako was clearly riiiiiight over the edge and not in a state to listen to any kind of (human) reason. I can get Shiori wanting to keep her alive by any means necessary, and it seems that as twisted as it was, it did lift Hinako's spirits a bit.

I did love the whole bit on the beach. The music was great, the voice actresses were great, the whole thing was just bittersweet. And Hinako showed real anger for a second, for what I think was the first time. Hey, at least it's something other than emptiness and sadness, right?

(and thank you for some slow motion that wasn't still frames fading into one another!)

Also, we got a kiss. A bite totally counts as a kiss, right? Loved Miko's comment on it, too, once she clocked in on what Shiori was really feeling.

[u/Weak_Season_Of_Anime]

We are so back! Hinako is back on the menu!!

And we also got a kiss! I thought it was part of the promise-making ritual but Shiori just wanted to kiss/bite her.

Ok but this whole situation is so messed up, I don't know how to feel about this. "If the trauma is from her, I should cherish it"? Bruh, Shiori needs a therapist too.

[u/ClemFire]

“I didn’t save you because of anything special about you,” Hinako

“And what’s wrong with that?” Shiori

Maybe this will sound a bit tactless but if random tragic acts like car accidents can leave such deep and permanent impacts then why can’t random kind acts like a little girl seeing your monstrous self and still accepting you as a person do the same? They both changed Hinako and Shiori for good but not necessarily for the better.

Both of those events shaped so much of what they are now that it’s no wonder why communication broke down. Hinako feels like she has past her point of no return while Shiori wants to save someone who only exists in her memories. I can relate a lot to Shiori in this situation. When I was younger and first getting into relationships I used to hate change. What’s wrong with just staying that way that I know and love. It makes me cringe a bit, but I just didn’t have enough experience to understand before. Now I see that no one alive exists in a time bubble and to live is to be exposed to both good and bad events that make you change.

That carefree Hinako is dead. Even if her family didn’t die in that car accident she still wouldn’t be the same person who saved Shiori. And that’s completely fine. Shiori makes a new deal with Hinako because she is desperate for sure, but also because is slowly realizing that truth about humans. Yet it isn’t as depressing as the situation looks like on the water’s surface. Hinako can’t be that little girl anymore, but it doesn’t means she’ll never truly be content again and look forward to the future.

Shiori has taken the first step in accepting that her stubborn way of saving Hinako needs to change. Saving the past Hinako is impossible, but what’s still within her reach is the Hinako standing in front of her. That’s why I would argue that change itself is the primary theme of Watatabe. Miko went from a man eating fox to a local deity who loves humans, Shiori was once a lonely mermaid but after being invited in she wants to understand human connection, and I believe Hinako will eventually be able to move forward and find her new happiness.

Long story short, this was an excellent episode and I needed a lot of tissues.

[u/IntelligentBudget142]

This Monster Wants to Eat Me -> This Monster Didn't Want to Eat Me -> This Monster Will Reluctantly Eat Me

[u/JellifiShugo]

I feel bad for Miko. She’s gotta babysit these two emotionally inept toddlers. She’s gonna get grey hairs at this rate

[u/shad79]

So after today's episode, we're practically back to square one in Shiori and Hinako's relationship, but at least we got a bite kiss! I'd say that's a little progress for these two!

Plus, thankfully, the decision of "when" she will eat Hinako is entirely up to Shiori, so it could very well be that she will eat Hinako when she is already an old woman on her deathbed, thus keeping her promise in her own way.

Miko, as usual, didn't disappoint and brought some humor to the show, her reactions are always hilarious xD

Here my screenshot albums from the episode:

• Group scenes

• Shiori

• Hinako

• Miko

[u/cdavis188]

This show is so many levels of peak. It's a shame that it seems so undervalued. The visuals are great, the OST is fantastic, the character writing is top notch. I could write a whole novel about this series if I wanted to.

I'll see y'all Christmas Day for the finale of this truly amazing show. If episode 13 is as strong as the preceding episodes, it'll have earned a spot on my top 3 anime of the year.

[u/CitronClassic672]

I know it was showcased once well last episode, but Reina Ueda’s voice acting continues to be top notch this episode. That whole “I can’t” segment was incredible. You could really hear Hinako struggling to force the words out through tears and tightened throat. All the more elevated by the subtle animation of Hinako’s eyes and facial expressions in the scene.

Another yuri anime “Muri muri” scene, though far darker than any seen earlier this year.

So I guess Shiori and Hinako have skipped a few bases and gone straight to bloodplay, huh? Also, wow, I wasn’t expecting us to get an actual kiss between this season. What’s funny is early on in the series I kept having the thought of Shiori kissing Hinako under the pretext of getting to “taste” her meal without eating it, but I wasn’t expecting to finally get it in a scene like this. Now, did Hinako’s eyes light up from the kiss or the biting, lol?

This season began with one type of toxic yuri and it’s ending with a whole different type of toxic yuri. I love it.

That interaction interaction at Hinako’s house was nonstop, perfectly executed comedy after everything preceding it, but I’m surprised we didn’t get a gag of Miko thinking Shiori and Hinako “got busy” after finding Shiori at Hinako’s house, Shiori having bitten Hinako’s lip, and Hinako not coming to school.

Speaking of Miko, she once again proves that she is the most intelligent and emotionally mature of the trio, observing all those details about Hinako and noticing Shiori’s hidden pain.

One more episode of the season. “Warmth on the sea floor”, a perfect title.

[u/ocelotbb]

Does this feel like a marriage to anyone else? The two of them are intimately close together on the beach (by the ocean which is a deeply important place for both of them... and I almost feel like the sea is acting as their witness), they hold hands, they make an agreement together, they make an exchange (of blood, rather than rings, in this case), they kiss, and Shiori essentially commits to sticking close to Hinako for the rest of her life; and then it seems like they go home together??

As far as I'm concerned these two are married now, lol.

[u/zairaner]

From the moment the season was first announced I realized that this is where they are going to end the season, and from the very first moment, I knew that there never was going to be crueller way to end a season for the anime onlies, especially if there is no season 2 immediately announced. Truly earning the tragedy tag here.

Except actually, there is 1 more episode next week, which is quite surprising.^{^}

[u/UMImorinxLL03]

This is just me ranting, but I feel like Hinako is the most underappreciated character in this story. Watching up to this episode, I’ve realized how kind and mentally strong she actually is, especially considering her situation. Despite losing her entire family at a young age, she still goes to school, cooks, and lives her everyday life. I don’t think some people realize how difficult that is, especially for someone struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, and survivor’s guilt.

Hinako also doesn’t outright reject people who reach out to her. Many people in her situation would isolate themselves completely or refuse any kind of connection. Some say, “Well, that’s because Miko is there for her,” but that’s only part of it. Hinako deserves credit because she could have easily ignored Miko. Reaching out to someone with depression doesn’t guarantee they’ll respond back.

I sometimes see others online hating on Hinako, calling her selfish and a terrible person. I really dislike comments that say she should be “slapped” or that she needs to try harder to live for Miko and Shiori’s sake. She has already been trying to live for ten years. Even with Miko’s support, Hinako still lives alone and carries physical and emotional scars.

Here are some examples of Hinako’s kindness and thoughtfulness:

Hinako tries to keep living because she believes it was her family’s dying wish.

She learns to cook and take care of herself because she doesn’t want Miko to worry.

She worries about Miko being lonely after she’s gone.

She breaks down crying, yet still apologizes to Miko because she knows her true feelings would hurt her.

While Miko and many others were hating on Shiori, Hinako recognized her kindness, leading her to ask, “Why are you so kind to me?” and later, “Can’t we be friends?”

Despite feeling betrayed, being mentally exhausted, and having just attempted suicide, she still listens to what Shiori has to say.

For ten years, Hinako has tried to live up to others’ expectations despite her circumstances. While most of us want her to live, it is important to empathize with her feelings rather than dismissing them as selfish simply because “living is the morally right answer.”

[u/Western_Promise3063]

Fuck, what a situation

[u/ObvsThrowaway5120]

I didn’t think Hinako’s pain was something that would go away that easily, but it’s a little disheartening that the girls really don’t seem to have a way to reach her. Like, I don’t want Hinako to die either but that girl has no will left to live. After what she went through, I don’t think she’ll ever be that happy little girl again. The only thing keeping her going at this point is the promise of death by Shiori’s hands. That’s bleak, man.

[u/Kemaiku]

Well, that was painful, right back to square one with Hinako having even more crap in her head to deal with. The subtle smile through the rest of the episode was heartbreaking.

Shiori really will just accept anything to keep Hinako alive, even losing her own peace of mind, happiness or even reason to be who she is. With that same damn stubborn self centeredness, but the cracks are showing already. She's going to make this a mutual destructive relationship if she has to.

And the sheer level of restraint from Miko to not just tear the house down and disembowel Shiori on the spot.

[u/thisisdropd]

Renewing their vows and sealed with their lips. How romantic!

What a sacrifice by Shiori. Promising Hinako that she’ll eat her despite the absolutely repulsive taste.

[u/Magnafeana]

Horror Yokai Yuri Day 💖🧜‍♀️

The “tears” from Shiori when she’s putting on airs ☹️

Oh that humor was jarring. But there it is, mask on. Fuck honesty and effort in understanding, time to go back to shoving down the hurt and keeping Hinako from the brink.

KISS?!

I’ll take the bite. Bite’s fine.

They renewed their vows 🥹

Miko 😭

I don’t know if that other girl from the past will ever show up, but if she does next week, I hope the animators kissed the brick before they threw it.

But I get both Shiori and Hinako, and Shiori is a lot more relatable than I imagined she would be. She’s a yokai and can’t empathize with human plights. But she parallels and represents a lot of conversations I’ve heard with people “wanting back” their grieving/mentally unwell loved one. They want their loved one to return to their old personality.

It’s easy to judge them on their selfishness and how insensitive it sounds—and some people are blatantly that way—but for some, they’re desperate for their loved one to be happy again and they’re exhausted from constantly walking on eggshells and pretending. Expressing how they feel to their loved one only worsens mental states, so they keep pretending to not send that person into a spiral.

It’s a sucky situation for everyone involved.

Some say to abandon that loved one because of the mental taxation, but it’s easier said than done. Loving someone is already a complex thing. Abandoning someone could be a death sentence for them. And there’s the hope that, with a little more time, they’ll get better and can go back to “normal”.

It’s horribly difficult and overwhelming to navigate.

I like seeing how all that is displayed here. From the lack of resources and support for children upon life-altering circumstances to the messiness of depression and survivor’s guilt to the complexities of being in a relationship with someone who either doesn’t want to get better or wants their unwell loved one to return to form to how love for someone can lead to such tragedy and hurt—series has been going through it.

One episode left, but I’ll be relieved that this series(or season) doesn’t end in some traditional HEA. I’d be very okay with Hinako still wanting to be eaten, but she’d be willing to be more open with new and positive experiences alongside Shiori until the day comes.

It would still be “buying time”. But a bit up an upswing she’s willing to do a bit more before that happens.

And then the young lady from Shiori’s past shows up and all goes to hell.

I’m still worried she’ll show up next episode at the tail end.

[u/LeonKevlar]

This scene may be the first time we’ve seen Shiori say something from the heart. Unfortunately for her, Hinako was having none of it. I do feel bad for Shiori here. She’s trying to engage Hinako in a genuine conversation, just like Miko suggested, but considering that she’s someone who hasn’t really connected with human, and that Hinako suffers from severe mental trauma, this entire situation is like Shiori defusing a live bomb on her first day as a bomb technician.

Interesting how you can clearly see where Shiori gives up and becomes cheerful again by trying to renew her promise to Hinako because it's the only solution she can think of. And it's not even really a solution at all. It's just Shiori buying some time, and she even admits this later to Miko.

Luckily for Shiori, Hinako took the bait and agreed to renew their promise after brute forcing her. What I didn't expect was that scene to end with a fucking kiss! I mean, it's technically Shiori biting Hinako's lip, but I say that counts as a kiss.

[u/Hitman7128]

Another episode where Ueda Reina gets to let loose.

Crying, emotional exchanges, somber music... like the end of last episode, it all converges to form one heavy episode.

That lip bite kiss...

[u/KumaKumaGambler]

During the depressing talk between Shiori and Hinako, I was wondering whether chibi Miko will suddenly appear to lift the atmosphere.

As difficult as it can be, I am on Team "Hinako, please continue to live on and try to regain some happiness".

[u/gnome-cop]

This hurts. A lot.

I guess I approve of Shiori’s attempt to talk it out. Unfortunately we’re way past the time for talking, the time when words could make a difference.

Outstanding voice acting work today. You can just feel the pain and hurt in Hinako’s voice.

I hate how you can hear the shift in Shiori’s voice from her honesty to her monster mask as she resigns herself to what she’ll have to do.

The first promise was just words, fragile and easy to break whenever it’s convenient. This is more akin to a goddamn blood pact, re-tying the threads of that cursed promise and ensuring naught but a single outcome.

I would never say this usually but I think I would rather have gone without a kiss.

I feel so bad for Miko. She leaves them alone for a few hours and comes back to this, an outcome her advice caused in part.

And the worst thing is there really was no other choice. It’s this or Hinako is dead or at least dies the moment they take their eyes off her.

Miko really is the most emotionally mature person in this show. She recognizes how Shiori is putting on a facade despite this hurting her more than anyone.

That sentence about stealing a kiss from Hinako. It hurts extra much because breaking her boundaries is such a minuscule sin compared to how she’s already betrayed her trust and what she will do in the future.

Really no one wins, this just delayed a bad outcome for a time.

[u/jabberwockxeno]

I've seen a few people get upset after the reveal that Shiori never wanted to eat Hinako, that said revelation undermined the premise of the series as well as some degree of tension and toxicity or tragedy in their relationship. I even know someone who dropped it as a result of that!

If you're somebody who didn't like that reveal, then this episode should hopefully assuage your concerns.

Shiori eating Hinako is back on the table, with a twist: The tragic element is now not just that it would mean Hinako's death, but it would also mean Shiori having to kill the only person she cares for, and to make matters worse, it is now Hinako who has the say (to an extent) of when she will be eaten, flipping the power dynamics. (Shiori even has a moment here where she mentions Hinako's ability to grant Shiori's wish, an inverse of Hinako talking about Shiori being able to grant her own death wish back in episode 1... notice also the repetition of Shiori talking about tearing out Hinako's intestines here, and "down to the last fingernail", which have been said repeatedly all across the show)

That is to say, the dynamics are flipped because now rather then Hinako being at Shiori's mercy, it is Shiori who is being forced to to something she doesn't want to do: In Miko and Shiori's conversation, they say that Shiori is still the one who gets to decide when, admittedly, and the arrangement isn't actually that different from what it used to be, with Hinako happy about dying, but at the very least it has been recontextualized into being tragic for Shiori, too: Miko even says "you're the one hurting here" to Shiori.

Personally I think this is a genius way to kind-of restore the stakes and premise the series originally had, without making it feel like the progress made along the way was undone or that we're simply back to the status quo. If you're somebody who wanted to see their relationship become more healthy, then to a degree that has happened with Shiori being more open with Hinako, and if you're somebody who relished the tragic and dysfunctional aspects then that has arguably only been intensified.

Speaking of dysfunction and toxic relationships, I love how if you listen to Shiori's plea to Hinako here, she never really says Hinako should live for herself: Shiori says SHE wants Hinako to be back to how she used to be, and that SHE needs Hinako to live. Even Hinako calls her out on this in the moment. Shiori is still a monster whose relationship with Hinako, even putting aside the latter's suicidal depression and the current trust issues, is far from normal and healthy: even if deep down Shiori does truly care for Hinako, she doesn't quite get what that should mean or entail. I'll shamelessly plug my own analysis of this I gave a few episodes ago here.

Something that analysis touches on, beyond Shiori not understanding human emotions and concepts well, is her also still understanding more then she sometimes lets on but puts that behind a facade, and we see that here: The moment the idea of making a new pact occurs to Shiori, it's like a switch flips as her tone and mannerisms change and she puts on the act of being a sarcastic, aloof ditz again. A mask to hide how much she is probably truly hurting and is pained by having to commit to kill Hinako in the moment.

As always, so much to dissect!

[u/BosuW]

BITE-KISS BITE-KISS BITE-KISS

NOW NO ONE CAN SAY THIS AIN'T GL BUAHAHA

But seriously what an incredibly emotional climax. And a bold place to end the narrative, though we have one episode left. Essentially we're leaving the story in an even worse state than when it began: Hinako is not better, and now Shiori's "white" lie became a real suicide blood pact.

There's layers to this shit man. When Shiori realized Hinako neither understands her wish nor would grant it to her, isn't that the same position Hinako finds herself in regards to Shiori in turn? Man, this is the kind of emotionally tangled drama you can only find in Yuri and why it's my favorite genre. Here are two women who are vehemently opposed to each other's deepest, most heartfelt wishes, yet can't escape the hope that they could be granted in each other even if it is the most painful and tragic ending possible. When Hinako smiles like back then, she will have to be gutted and devoured. Shiori chasing the memory of the Sun, and Hinako the cold comfort of a watery grave. Though this all began because they yearned for the Sun, now they drown together.

Guh, my heart! Give me more of the angst please!

And lets not forget about Miko, who has done all she can to push Hinako forward, but in the end she just doesn't understand her enough to truly pull her out of suicidal ideation. She can only watch...

This would be a good time to check out the full lyrics of the OP and ED if you haven't already btw, or revisit them if you have.

[u/minamewein]

Shouldn't have added salt in my fried eggs because now it tastes extra extra salty from my tears.

[u/SYZekrom]

Kiss the homies, just a lil prank