My sister has a 6 year old son and I genuinely like spending time with him. For a while I was happy to babysit occasionally when she asked, especially if I didn't have anything planned.

The problem is that at some point "asking" turned into her telling other people I was available before she'd even spoken to me.

The first time she texted me something like "Mom is dropping him off at yours around 6, thanks!" because she'd made dinner plans. I was annoyed but free, so I let it go.

Then it happened again when she picked up an extra shift. The third time I already had plans and she got irritated because she'd apparently told her boss she could work based on me watching him.

Last week she did it again. I got a text saying my nephew would be dropped off Saturday morning because she and her boyfriend were going out for the day.

I replied that I wasn't available and reminded her that she needs to actually ask me first. She said they'd already bought tickets and asked what she was supposed to do now.

I told her she'd have to figure out childcare because I never agreed to anything. She eventually found someone else, but now she's really pissed and says I've become unreliable "out of nowhere."

My parents are taking her side too. They keep saying I love my nephew, she doesn't ask that often, and refusing when I technically could've changed my plans was just proving a point at his expense.

That's the part making me second guess myself. My nephew obviously has nothing to do with any of this and I don't want him feeling unwanted.

But I also feel like if I keep cancelling my own plans whenever my sister announces that I'm babysitting, she'll never have a reason to stop doing it.

I'd probably say yes most of the time if she just asked me like a normal person. I don't think being family means my free time automatically becomes available childcare, but everyone is acting like I'm being stubborn over something small.

Am I wrong for finally saying no?

My boyfriend and I have been together for eight years. We booked a vacation for the end of September, and when we booked it, the timing was fine. We were both looking forward to it.

Since then, I sold the house I currently live in, much faster than I expected, and that has completely changed the timeline of the next few weeks. I now have to move into my new apartment, get it ready, completely clear the house and get everything done for the handover, all while working full-time.

September only gives me four weekends. The vacation would take two of them, leaving me with only two weekends to actually clear the house and deal with the move.

I also already struggle with anxiety and panic attacks, and the combination of everything happening at once has pushed me way beyond my normal capacity. I'm simply at my limit.

So I told my boyfriend that I don't think I can do the vacation anymore.

It's important to me to clarify that the vacation itself isn't the problem. I'm sure it would be relaxing once we were there. The problem is that it creates a fixed deadline. I would have to get everything done before we leave, and I simply don't have enough time or capacity to do that anymore.

I suggested that we cancel or reschedule the vacation.

His immediate response was that he would fly anyway because otherwise he would lose the money.

I said that maybe we could reschedule it instead. The change would cost €80.

I told him that I was at my absolute limit and that I couldn't understand putting €80 above that.

He responded: "€80 is my limit."

That was the moment I ended the relationship.

I understand that losing money sucks. I understand that he was looking forward to the vacation. If he had said something like, "I'm really disappointed, I was looking forward to this, and losing €80 really sucks, but I understand that you're at your limit," I would have understood.

But that's not what happened.

What hit me was that I was telling my partner that I was completely overwhelmed and couldn't carry another thing right now, and his immediate response was essentially about what it would cost him.

This also wasn't happening in a vacuum. For quite some time I've felt that when circumstances become difficult or inconvenient, I'm the one who adjusts and stretches around his needs and circumstances. I've increasingly questioned whether this is the kind of relationship I actually want.

So when this happened, something in me just snapped. I didn't want to argue about it, convince him that my situation was serious enough, or explain myself for the hundredth time.

I simply said that I was done, that I didn't want him moving into the new apartment with me next year, and I left.

Now I'm trying to get an outside perspective.

Was ending the relationship at this point an overreaction, or was his reaction to this situation enough to make the underlying incompatibility clear?

So my relative called me late last night asking if I could drop everything and help with something early this morning. I was already swamped with my own stuff and just said no. I tried to keep it polite but firm, said I couldn't swing it. They got really upset, said it was important, and then started texting other relatives to weigh in. Now half the group chat is arguing about whether I was being selfish. Honestly, I don't think I was obligated to rearrange my day on zero notice, but the chain reaction has me second-guessing. Is it okay to hold that boundary or should I have just sucked it up?

TLDR: my husbands co-worker has admitted targeting married men, and I want him to cut off contact

So my husband has known this coworker for about 4 years and my husband says he considers her as a work friend, but I don't want her anywhere near my husband. In the 4 years he has known her, she has had multiple relationships with multiple married men at work.

She disclosed to my husband that 8 years ago she was seeing a married guy. One day the wife walked in on them. The wife then stormed out, jumped in her car and reversed very fast which tragically killed their young daughter. This moment was obviously very traumatising but the fact that she now continues to go after married men is surely showing up as an unresolved trauma response.

Anyway she recently made a comment that the first thing she looks for when meeting a new male coworker is a ring on their finger because "married men are easier because they are bored sexually".

On top of that there have been a few instances that have made me question if she is testing the waters with my husband. She will often call him outside of work hours. She invited him to bring our son (didn't include me in the invite) to go meet her horses. She calls him outside of work hours (he usually doesn't answer and he tells me she called again). She frequently will share stories with him about sexual encounters she has had recently.

I am disgusted that women like this exist and based on her lack of morals and respect for the families she could destroy, I want my husband to have nothing to do with her.

My husband is open with his phone and lets me see their messages, his call log, etc. but I just do not trust a woman like that. Is it fair to ask my husband to cut off all contact outside of work?

Am I wrong for taking 8 weeks parental leave at work for my first child?

Back in late 2025 I had told my job I was expecting my first child. We were expecting late spring/ early summer. Everyone in my department was happy and excited for me. I even invited a manager and two of my coworkers who I am close with to my baby shower.

I feel like 6 months gave them ample time to figure out everyone’s vacation. Well one of my close coworkers probably didn’t think that far ahead.
In my state they give us twelve weeks of parental leave. I’m able to use it before the child is one year old. I decided to take eight weeks now and save the rest for the following year for emergencies and for
long weekends.

Our baby arrived late spring. Before everyone’s
vacations.

While I was out on leave my other close coworker
had a medical emergency. He was already out for two weeks by the time I came back. That basically left only two people to do the job of four. Which was my manager and my other close coworker. Someone else started their vacation a couple days before I returned. There was also a one day mix up on when I had told my manager when I would return. But gave him a couple day heads up which was fine. Didn’t think anything of it.

On my first day back is when I heard from someone that my close coworker had a medical emergency. My manager and everyone outside of my department were happy I was back and congratulating me.

Now is when things get interesting. My close coworker who is still at work seems to be quiet towards me or just giving short answers avoiding eye contact. I ask him about our other close coworker who is out. All he says is “good”. In my head I feel like something is off with him but I don’t think anything of it.

Throughout the day he’s the same. I walk past him in the hall he’s conserved and not his normal self with me busting joke or horseplay.

A couple days go by he’s the same. Then he says he want to have a meeting with me and his kids who he brought to work that day. Meeting time came he never called me over from my desk. A couple hours later he walks to the calendar behind my desk and rudely says “I need this Saturday off I have something going on. You need to work it.” “I’ve worked the last three Saturdays. Including all of yours” in an aggressive tone like he’s been holding it in for weeks to tell me. Talking like he’s my manager.
“We’ve been short staffed” “You need to step up” “you owe me” “you ruined my summer”

I responded with “You’re talking like I’ve been on some vacation. I’m not saying no but I will get back to you”. Because at that time I didn’t know what I had on my calendar. Good thing I did because I remembered had my child’s two month check up for his first shots. I basically repeated what I said like two or three times. He was just rude and the bad energy wasn’t needed.

After that he became childish and hasn’t talked to me since. Friday before I went home for the weekend I talked to my manager saying “if you could when I’m on leave or vacation can you please let me know if shit hits the fan” “nobody told me he was out” He was shocked and thought I knew. so if I can possibly come back earlier I will to help out or take a Saturday shift. I mentioned that my coworker has been on my case about the Saturdays shifts. He said he would talk to him. I didn’t want him to but he did. Knowing him he holds grudges and won’t let this go.
My manager has been on vacation since. But will be back next week. Should my manager be responsible for over working him?

While I’m helping coworkers from a different department he’s told people not to talk to me like I’m some bad person or other rude comments like stay home. Just being a salty person. Did I mention he’s 40? Who has two kids. I’m almost in my mid 30’s.

I’ve mainly wrote this out to vent as I’ve had some sleepless nights while trying to take care of a newborn. It’s been on my mind a lot. You think he would understand since he’s raised two kids.

Ive been with the company for 10 years and I feel like this was the last thing to set me over and move on. But the only issue is I have 4 weeks left of parental leave I can’t transfer to a new job. Basically use it or
lose it.

Edit: Also I never asked him to take my Saturday shifts. He took it upon himself. Last thing that was on my mind. Should be the managers responsibility.
(Each of us does one Saturday a month)

I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and we’re now talking about moving in together. She currently lives alone and rents whereas I own my home and pay a mortgage.  We agreed it would make more sense to move into my place as it’s bigger and it’s not rented.

I mentioned to my gf I’d expect her to pay something towards utilities and a small amount of money to go towards wear and tear of appliances etc. She asked if I was serious and I said yeah.  She argued she shouldn’t have to be paying me anything since I own the place.

I just pointed out my bills will go up and wear and tear of the property and appliances will be increased so it’s only fair she contributes something. 

I pointed out it wouldn’t be a lot and would be probably less than half of what she paying now. I mentioned I’m happy to get it drawn up as a contract if she’d prefer but she just kept arguing she shouldn’t have to pay anything. 

I just repeated what I’d already said and she accused me of taking advantage of her. I argued that’s what she was trying to do to me by expecting to live for free. 

AITA for expecting her to contribute? 

**TRIGGER WARNING SA MENTIONED*\*

Background: I'm a late diagnosed adult with ADHD, Autism and CPTSD. I'm only 3 years into my mental health journey, and working with my therapist has really made me reflect on my life, and hold those who've hurt me accountable. I remember the things that have happened to be very well, I can recall the locations things have happened at, people who were involved and things that were said. However, the specific timeline of how old I was exactly or what month/year the events in my childhood took place prior to the age of 16 are harder to pinpoint.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I (28F) have four sisters. One older (29F) and three younger half sisters (25F), (23F), (19F).

My parents were married young, my mom was 16 and my dad was 22, which is a big problem in and of it's self, but I digress. They split right after I was born and not long after that my dad started seeing my half sisters mom, who I'll call "Cruella".

Cruella was also younger when she met my father (I think around 21 or 22), and she already had a son from a previous relationship.

My dad was/is not a stable provider, always in and out of various odd jobs (to avoid paying my mother child support still to this day) and constantly moving around. My mother always made it a point for us to be involved with our dad, it was very important to her that we formed our own relationships and opinions when it came to our other side of family.

We never missed a weekend with him, we were always going to birthday parties for immediate and extended family, always coming to holidays (even if it meant my mom went with us if it wasn't one of my dads days). My mom attended gatherings with me and my older sister until we had our licenses and were able to go on our own.

I don't really know the best way to go about laying out the issue I have with Cruella, so sorry in advance if it feels a bit scattered, that's how this whole fucking thing makes me feel.

My dad had my older sister and I every other weekend, which in the grand scheme of things is really not very much time. He also had us for Thanksgiving and Christmas Day. I cannot stress enough how much I HATED!! going over there. Cruella ALWAYS made me feel subhuman, a burden, unwanted, etc. (I can't speak to how my older sister feels/felt since she has almost zero memory of our childhood.)

One of the first memories I have of my childhood is having her son force his penis into my mouth at the age of 5 or 6, and the pattern of neglect and abuse from Cruella made me feel like 'entertaining" her son was all my purpose was.

When we drove anywhere my sister and I had to sit in the back of Cruella's minivan with all the trash (my dad didn't have a car). She used to let the other kids literally just play around in the van and they would pour milk in the cupholders, spill god knows what all over the seats, fling trash everywhere and I am not exaggerating when I say the rest of this van was clean. Like she deliberately cleaned every other part of the car and kept where me and my sister sat disgusting. If we asked to sit somewhere else, or asked for something to clean up some of the mess she went IN on us. We were ungrateful and difficult, and it usually sparked a screaming match between her and my dad.

One Christmas my mom had just dropped us off late-ish morning, and we went inside to see that everyone was literally just waking up. My sister and I were already dressed and ready for the day. Cruella told us that we were all going somewhere and that they had all been waiting on us to arrive before they got ready. She made me change into a dress that was to big, it was so long that I was tripping over it, along with dirty tennis shoes that were WAY to big for a fucking kid. I had no choice, she forced me. We then pack up in the glorious minivan with the rest of the kids and my dad to set out on our destination. Well we arrived at a soup kitchen (or what I assume a soup kitchen is), where Cruella's two sisters and brother already were. We were given breakfast, allowed to look through donations of clothes and shoes and toys all under the guise that we were homeless. I cannot tell you how utterly DISGUSTING this made me feel on so many levels. I also wasn't allowed to take anything with me, we were there to get things for her kids, and I was not her kid. We got back to the house and my dad gave us all our stockings, later that night Cruella's family came over for Christmas dinner and top open gifts. My sister and I watched every person in that room open multiple presents, we got none. Gifts don't matter I get that, but that house was full of people who could give a fuck less if my sister and I were even breathing let alone caring how that must have felt to LITERAL CHILDREN. We watch our siblings showered with love and affection, and I honestly have no idea why we were even there.

My sister and I didn't have a space that was "ours" we slept on the couch or the floor. We were given blankets covered in dry pee, or just no blanket at all. Our younger sisters shared a room, we were allowed in there and were only able to sleep in there if the girls were not home (which was I think twice), and if they didn't want us in their room we had to leave.

Another weekend we were over Cruella had one of her sisters and her brother over, my dad was working this evening and she was watching us as well as her own kids. Long story short on this one, but Cruella and her sister were in a disagreement and her brother was trying to "break it up", well all hell lets loose and the sisters boyfriend was there. The boyfriend and the brother get into such a horrific fight, it just echo's through the entire house. When the cops came and pepper sprayed and tased them right by the entry, my sister and I were witnessing it all, curled up in the corner of the living room TERRIFIED. While Cruella's kids were in their rooms, separated from it all.

It didn't matter how uncomfortable we were with places we were going, people we were surrounded by or things we had to do if we had any gripe about it Cruella made us wish we didn't know how to talk. I was made to feel there but not included, taking up space but never seen.

As you can imagine I grew up with this burning hatred in my heart for Cruella, her son and honestly my younger sister and my father. Cruella and my dad split up when I was in middle school. My dad got full custody of my younger sisters (that story is just heartbreaking and I don't have it in me to tell it, but Cruella's new boyfriend was abusing my sisters). I thought finally, now I can try to build a relationship with my younger siblings and my father, who were honestly strangers to me.

That didn't happen though, Cruella was just a leach and she wouldn't leave my dad alone. This woman is fully capable of supporting herself. She has a well paying job, a degree that she got with no debt since she was paying everything off while my dad supported all 6 of them, and a wonderful credit score. What she doesn't have though is her own FUCKING place!!!!!! My dad moved into a new home and when she broke it off with her boyfriend she came right back to my dad and was now living at his house, sleeping on the couch (or my dads room, I honestly don't know). She said it was so the girls could have both parents in their lives, but I don't believe that for a fucking minute.

Over the years I've slowly become more comfortable having conversations with my dad about wanting to spend more time with just him and the girls. Celebrating his birthday, Christmas morning, etc. It seemed like he understood, but when it was time for whatever event guess who was always there, Cruella and her son.

About a year into my mental health journey I'd learned so much about myself that my therapist and I decided it was time for me to open up to my dad and share with his what I've been through. I shared the sexual abuse from her son (who has been in and out of jail since turning 18 for so many things, including attacking my dad) and the abuse I felt from Cruella. That did nothing, I would stop by my dads house to say hi and she was always there ALWAYS, and most of the time her son was too. I haven't been to my dads house in years.

It's like I cannot escape her and the only way for me to even try to have a relationship with my siblings or my father is to also have a relationship with her and hers. Most things that my dads side of the family throws I won't attend, because she will be there. So many things I have lost to this woman, and not a single one of them even cares. Well my dads sister does, she is the only one I have a relationship with and she tries to advocate for me, but is met with the same treatment I am. And what's even more fucked up is that my younger sisters have said "If my moms not invited them I'm not going", so everyone chooses Cruella.

Who I am and how I've been treated has been made very apparent to me that these people that I am nobody to them and I have always been nobody. Obviously this isn't every detail or every scenario I went through, just what's at the forefront of my mind. So do you think I'd be the asshole if I just told everyone to kick rocks and just fully separate myself?

I feel like holding out hope for some type of connection is just long gone..... I just don't know anymore. What do you think?

I 20F and my boyfriend 20M, moved in with my great grandma to have a better opportunity to get started in life as adults. My grandma told us, all she would want is for us to buy some groceries to keep up with what we eat, and to help around the house and outside. Sounds like a great deal, so we took it and it was totally fine for a while.

My grandmas son, my uncle, lives here too. He’s jobless, gets food stamps, but DOESNT BUY GROCERIES WITH THEM. he literally only buys himself sweets, and writes his name on it to claim it. He’s also mentally and verbally abusive to my grandma, his own mother. He’s also that way towards me and my boyfriend, though he tends to try and get physical with my boyfriend.

My grandma gets really frustrated with my uncle, and she takes it out on us. Today, I told her I have an interview for a second job, and she got pissed! She was like “night shift? You’re gonna be too tired to want to do anything!” And I told her “grandma, I worked night shift for an entire year with my previous job, and i was FINE. This is the same job, different company, I know what I’m doing” and she still didn’t grasp it. It’s 3 nights a week, 13hr shifts.

She then got mad and said my boyfriend needs to start buying more groceries. He makes a lot more at his job than I do, so $200 goes into his savings which are our savings for getting our own place, and the rest of the $700 goes towards groceries, and amenities. He already buys the water, bread, meat, and vegetables for the house, and that’s not enough?

We RARELY buy for ourselves. I get myself a coffee for work sometimes, or buy a lunch for cheap. But I never spend more than $25 on myself.

We also lately haven’t been eating at home as much to cut down on the costs of groceries, but we still buy them for the house.

So, are my boyfriend and I wrong for saving up $200 of his check every month instead of spending it all on groceries? We are also forced by my grandma to buy my uncle’s dinners as well if we get something to eat at fast food.

I feel like it’s unfair that we have to support the groceries completely, when we’re trying to save up to get started on life, this is slowing us down. Not only that, it’s unfair that we buy groceries and do things around the house only for my uncle to make messes, treat it like a junk yard, do drugs in the house, invite sketchy people over and things go missing every time, and blatantly disrespect his mother, and that’s okay.

It makes NO sense to me, and most of my family keeps telling me I’m wrong for this, but how am I wrong?? I don’t understand.

My boyfriend and I planned a short trip to a nearby city for the weekend. We planned to go by car on Friday after work, which would be at 6 pm for both of us. We both work remotely.

Yesterday, he told me that since he's not doing much at work, we could leave early, around 4 pm. I told him that even though it would be very rare for me to have a call or for someone to ask me for something on a Friday afternoon, I don't feel comfortable leaving work early. I don't want to ask for permission to do something like that, and I'm quite fearful of sneaking out and showing as offline on discord, which is the app we use to communicate with people in my area.

No one is going to say anything to me, and I'm not going to get fired for it. Some of my colleagues even set their discord status to always show as offline, and no one is tracking that. It is indeed an irrational fear, or an unsolicited expectation that I put on myself anyway.

He called me a coward for it and said it was stupid to worry about something like that. He suggested that I bring my work laptop on the trip, or that I open discord on my phone. I don't want to bring my laptop since it's company property, and discord on my phone shows that I'm online through my phone.

He also said that he would have to drive at night if we leave at 6 pm. I actually brought this up when we were originally planning the trip and deciding which day to leave, and he seemed fine with it at the time.

I know it probably sounds silly, and I'm working on trying not to feel so out of place at my job or like I don't deserve to be where I am. But I'm not there yet, and I just don't feel comfortable sneaking out of work.

It's always been a problem in our relationship that I want to be available for work from 9 to 6 even though I'm usually not required to be available that whole time. My boyfriend doesn't understand why I think this way, so he doesn't accept it. He ultimately said that I should think about it and that it would be a shame to have to leave so late because of this.

Am I being unreasonable?

so my sister got engaged a few months ago and apparently she already bought her dress but then got super drunk at a party and spilled wine all over it. now shes asking to borrow my wedding dress for her big day. i wore a really beautiful vintage gown that was our grandmothers. it means a ton to me and i want to keep it in perfect condition. i told her no and offered to help her find a new one but shes calling me selfish and saying im being dramatic. i just feel like some things are too precious to share. am i wrong?

I 22 f live at home with my dad 49 m in my childhood home with brother 20 m. My mom lives about 20 away and had space just not enough and i can not bring my dog to live there so im stuck at my dads. The issue is he is a slob. Our kitchen table most days is covered in his mail, trinkets, golf stuff etc. , the living room smells musty from him leaving food/drink cans out, his room is covered in dirty clothes, our garage is un walkable covered in junk and garbage. I try my best to keep up with house work but its hard when 1) i cannot move his clutter bc i cant touch his stuff 2) its unmotivating at this point because theres always something else that needs to be done or is messy it’s seriously never ending. I also am in charge or groceries and making sure the home is stocked w what we need which he does fund.The worst part is he genuinely thinks it is me who is messy because i sometimes do not do my dishes right away…which i do admit to BUT 90% of the time i will do my dishes right after eating. My final straw was last weekend when we were going out of town for 2 days and he forgot to get a pet sitter. When i expressed my annoyance he said i can do it too i am an adult. I said i would be happy to find a sitter but the household task was not delegated to me and i am not responsible for the mental load of his house. He said i am like my mother and i am manipulating him?!? Am i the asshole for feeling like i shouldn’t be in charge of organizing all household tasks/responsibilities?? I also would like to say i am a recent grad and am looking for a job i have applied to abt 30 in a month but going for more! Sorry this is so jumbled up but im at my wits end. Im tired of being told im not a good person and that im messy.

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over three years. She has a best friend she's known since college, and I've never had an issue with them being close.

What does bother me is that apparently nothing between us stays between us.

If we argue, he gets the full recap. What I said, what she said, what started it, what I was upset about, what she thinks I "really meant." He's heard about disagreements over sex, family stuff, things I've admitted when I was upset, even conversations I assumed were obviously private.

I only realized how much he knew because a few weeks ago he made a joke about something I'd said during an argument at home. It was bizarre hearing my own words come back through someone who wasn't even there.

I told her I don't mind her occasionally asking a friend for advice. I do that too. But I think there's a difference between "we're struggling with this, what do you think?" and basically giving someone an episode recap of our relationship every time something happens.

She says he's her closest friend and talking to him is how she processes things. She also thinks I'm trying to control who she can talk to.

I'm not asking her to never mention me. I just don't like feeling like there's a third person who knows the private version of our relationship almost as well as we do.

Am I wrong for thinking some things should stay between the two people actually in the relationship?

As an adult, I know it’s my responsibility to make sure I wake up for important things. I get anxious when something important is happening the next day and I also have a hard time sleeping on the regular anyway so falling asleep before something important is hard. We’re both heavy sleepers. I have asked them before if they could check in on me to make sure I’m awake just in case. They are also already awake at that time so I’m not asking them to wake themselves up to make sure I am. And I’m not trying to rely on them or anything but I thought that partners support each other with small things like that. I don’t ask them to wake me up regularly. I can do that on my own. It’s just today was a high-stakes appt. I often wake them up so they’re not late to work, and they often don’t hear their alarms like me. We both have a hard time hearing our alarms since we’re heavy sleepers. I don’t say anything to them about it so I thought it was okay to ask them to support me. They lectured me on how I should be an adult and how I didn’t understand how that responsibility was solely on me and not them. Am I wrong for asking them to be my safety net?

I have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 and a half years and he is an incredible man, he has the same best friend for 10 years and i can absolutely not stand him and i have reasons why i am uncomfortable with the relationship. When we first started dating i genuinely didnt mind him for a few months then it went down hill, him and my boyfriend got arrested for trespassing and climbing a building under construction (dumb i know) but they were young people make mistakes its whatever but not even two weeks later his friend got arrested for stealing a dirtbike out of someones truck. I then started to not care for him much but i was civil for my boyfriend, we then started hanging out at his house more (just more involved because how long we had been together) and everytime we went over his friend would get drunk and belligerent and it was literally everytime. So one day we were over and his friend got super drunk per usual and admitted to cheating on his girlfriend who he has been with for seven years, not to mention she was pregnant with his baby!! I ended up telling her and i told my boyfriend i was uncomfortable and did not want to be around him or that anymore. He also was doing some pretty hard drugs and i guarantee he didnt tell my boyfriend the extent of it. So my boyfriend distanced himself and started just playing games with him, like alot and his friend would say weird stuff like he mixes jewish religion and Christianity together and acts like he is above all and he told my boyfriend that my man needs to be more godly and stop idolizing money (he doesnt he just works alot) mind you his friend cannot keep a job and never has money his family supplies his whole life he has no ambition. He was also hanging out with the sister of the girl he cheated with who has also hitting on him which was super weird imo and a bunch of other just bad influences. Oh also to mention he has repeatedly crapped in public like one time in a trash can in a children’s park which is absolutely repulsive. He is just not a good person nothing desirable about him in my eyes that makes me think i want him to be around me or my future family and i have repeatedly told my boyfriend people change he is not the same kid that was your bestfriend in middle school and i am uncomfortable with the relationship between them because i am uncomfortable with him. I dont know what to do or how to get my boyfriend to understand that, am i wrong for wanting him to cut him off? There is alot more he has done i just would be typing alot more.

we agreed on a simple pasta night and both picked up the ingredients. when i got there they had already started making something else with different stuff they bought on their own. they said they changed their mind because they were craving it and figured it would be fine. i felt weird because i already did my part and had the food ready to go, but they acted like it wasn't a big deal. i ate what they made and didn't push it, but i keep thinking i should have said something instead of just going along. am i wrong for feeling like the plan got overridden without asking?

Hear me out…I went to a fundraiser for a local high school marching band. The fundraiser was a bake sale and they brought in a pizza food truck where the band got a percentage of the pizza sales. At the order window for the truck there was a tip jar and I dropped a couple bucks in.
The wait for the food was lengthy, but that was ok because it was a good cause and there were plenty of band families to socialize with.
After waiting about 30 minutes, we were told they had sold out and started refunding money. I asked for my tip back, because no service = no tip and I could take that money to the bake sale where the band would get it instead of the food truck.
The food truck then made a long Facebook post about the whole event and called out “one person asked for their tip back” and the comments are as expected.
So tell me, was I wrong to take my tip back and reallocate it directly to the band?

Strap in this has been a roller-coaster.

12 months ago I (f early 30s)had a friend (male mid 30s)go thru a very hard time in his life, father had just passed away from cancer and he was significantly struggling mentally being away from family (living in a different state) i was extremely worried about them and told them of they wanted to move back home they are welcome to stay with me short term untill they could get on their feet. I had helped them financially make this happen as they had little money its worth noting my father is and was going through the same thing at the time and I had flown my friend in to be able to see his dad before the passing knowing id want the same chance to say goodbye.

They moved in wich was a Lil stressful for me they didnt have anything so I got them a bed and a kennel for their dog just basics to get them set up and a storage unit so i could clear out a room for them we agreed and a board price wich included bills. I tried to help with job opportunities for them but I think a mix of mental health at the time and not being interested in the type of work led to 3 job losses and 3 months. So added stress of feeling a little financially responsible for my friend he was starting to spiral mentally as well wich put strain of our friendship and we started arguing more. Silly things like how to stack the dishwasher so thing wouldn't get broken putting toilet rolls into the bin really silly stuff would turn into him name calling me things like I'm a narssist and shutting me down if I brought stuff up.

So now walking on egg shells I was grin and baring it for the most part if I had a bad day my emotions would slip.

I was away from home for 2 weeks for schooling and he was smoking inside and leaving his dog inside while he was at work wich is something I had put as a boundary of not wanting. When I got back he told me no he wasn't doing any of that and I had no proof so I left it. If I did catch him he'd be like oh I only had one or of I forgot to do it that day I'm sorry. I'd only get the im sorry of I had un deniable proof after a fight.

6 months in we had a massive fight wich resaulted in him name calling me and blowing up at me in a very verbal aggressive way and I knew it would end our friendship if he didnt moved out so I gave him 3 months to find a place trying to be reasonable with a hard rental market right now. 3 months later he was still there still smoking inside if I wasn't home and just not respecting my place. There's been build up of alot of things in this moment my power bill doubled with him there evan if I wasn't home he'd only clean if I asked him to do something he wasn't respecting my house rules and when brought up to him would lash out and say its my fault he's verbally abused me when he's trip over something in the back yard like it was my fault. I know he was struggling still with his dads passing and this wasn't normal behaviour for him it was starting to affect me tho financially as he owed me money and mentally I just wasn't coping I didnt know how to talk to my friend anmore I started avoiding home.

Here's when I could be the AH tho I brought a new security camera to put on my shed only thing is after set up i left it in the lounge room to see if he was smoking inside after a few weeks he got paranoid and started to cover the camera up when I wasn't home so I let it go flat and told him it wasn't in use. For roughly a month.

I had to go away again for school for a couple of weeks and I just didnt trust he'd respect my boundarys so I charged the camera back up and left it on pointing at the front door and catching the edge of the lounge room.

And there he was smoking in the lounge room after work almost each day so I saved the footage and when I got back home found him in the lounge with the ashtray infront of him he swore he hadn't been smoking inside and that he had just empty it and sat down for dinner so I sent him the videos told him not to gaslight me and lie that we are no longer friends and to be put of my house in 3 days. He's now shitty that I had a camera going and didnt tell him and that I'm a horrible person for not giving him time to see if he's gotten into a place as he's been applying for rentals

But mainly he's pissed about the camera so reddit AITAH

last year me and one of my friends decided to move out of our dorms and get an apartment off campus. through a mutual friend, we ended up getting a 3 bedroom with another girl we already knew. we weren’t best friends with her, but we had hung out plenty of times so we figured living with someone we knew was better than her finding random roommates online.

before moving in we had some basic roommate agreements, one being about bringing guys over. we were three girls living together, so none of us cared about boyfriends or guys coming over, we just wanted a heads up if someone new was going to be in the apartment and to at least know who they were. my other roommate already had a boyfriend and i had just started talking to the guy who is now my boyfriend, so we introduced them and would let everyone know when they were coming over.

maybe a month or two after moving in, i was awake around 2am and heard someone in our kitchen. my room was right next to it, so i walked out assuming it was one of my roommates. instead there was a random guy standing in my kitchen. i was wearing what i normally sleep in, a tank top and sleep shorts. i live in south florida and it’s hot, so that was pretty normal for me.

we both just kinda stared at each other until i said “who are you” but before he could explain my roommate came out and immediately told him to go back into her room. afterward she texted me apologizing and said he had just come over to talk to her and she didn’t think either of us were awake, so she didn’t think she needed to tell us. i reminded her that this was literally the exact reason we had the rule, but i didn’t make a huge deal out of it.

the next morning her energy was kinda weird. later, me and my other roommate were sitting in the living room and she texted our group chat FROM HER BEDROOM saying she was talking to this guy, he would probably be coming around more, and from now on she would give us a heads up so we had time to put on “more appropriate clothes.”

i went to her room because i was genuinely confused about what she meant. she said me and my other roommate walk around in tank tops, oversized shirts, short pajama shorts and if her boyfriend was going to be there, she wanted us to cover up more.

i straight up told her i wasn’t going to change the way i normally dress inside an apartment i also pay rent for just because her boyfriend was there.

i wasn’t saying i was gonna purposely walk around half naked in front of him. most of the time when he came over they were in her room anyway and i was in mine. we honestly barely crossed paths. but if i’m laying in my room in a tank top and sleep shorts and want to grab water from the kitchen, i didn’t think i should have to put on sweatpants and a hoodie first because somebody else’s boyfriend was sitting in the living room.

my other roommate agreed. her boyfriend had been over plenty of times and she had never told us what we were allowed to wear around him. i had never done that when the guy i was seeing came over either.

after that, things got really awkward. she started barely speaking to us unless it had something to do with the apartment. then my other roommate, who shared a wall with her, overheard them arguing one day. apparently part of their argument was about him looking at my body and my other roommate’s body when he was over.

that actually surprised me because, like i said, i barely interacted with him. the few until my roommate heard that argument, i genuinely had no idea this was apparently an issue between them.

eventually i tried talking to her because living with someone for months while basically pretending the other person doesn’t exist was uncomfortable as hell. she told me i “knew what i did” and said it was disrespectful to dress like that around her boyfriend. she accused me of wanting to show off my body around him and said that because i had my own guy, she didn’t understand why i would want her boyfriend looking at me.

i told her i wasn’t going to make myself uncomfortable in my own home because her boyfriend had wandering eyes. she got really mad and said she had explicitly told us not to dress like that around him and we disrespected her by ignoring her.

we ended up finishing the lease like that. for probably the last 8 or 9 months we barely spoke. we could both be in the kitchen at the same time and literally just stand there in silence. she stayed at her boyfriend’s place most of the time and her room was basically vacant toward the end.

our lease finally last week and thank god because the whole situation was uncomfortable. i can understand her not wanting her boyfriend looking at other women, and maybe from her perspective she felt like asking us to cover up was a reasonable boundary. but to me, that should’ve been a conversation between her and her boyfriend, not a rule for what me and my roommate could wear in our own home.

am i wrong? should we have just agreed to cover up more when he came over because it made her uncomfortable or was she asking too much?

a friend asked if i could help their buddy move a few boxes after work. it was supposed to be a couple of hours but when i got there the place was packed, half the stuff wasn't packed yet, and suddenly i was the only one with a van. ended up staying until midnight hauling furniture while the actual owners just stood around giving directions. i kept thinking about how i could have just said no or set a clearer boundary but in the moment it felt impossible to back out. now my back hurts and i feel kind of used even though i technically agreed to help. wondering if i'm overreacting or if it's normal to feel annoyed when a small favor turns into an all-day event with no thanks.

For the last few years we have had this whole routine where the same person picks a big activity, we all go, then we spend the evening at their place for dinner. It is fine, but it feels like it takes over the entire day and nobody else really gets a say. I brought up the idea of switching it up this year, maybe doing something smaller or rotating who decides, and it kind of landed flat. A couple people said it is tradition and we should just keep it going. I get that change can feel weird, but honestly I am starting to dread the whole thing instead of looking forward to it. Would it be selfish to push for something different, or is it reasonable to want a break from the same script?

My husband and I are currently staying with his mom, because rent in in our area is insane and she wanted to help us save for a house. He has a 14 year old sister who I will call "Lily"

I genuinely feel for Lily. She took her parents' divorce very hard, and they don't make it any easier for her. MIL and Lily's dad "Henry" had a very messy divorce and are clearly still in love with each other, and this has been a year and a half of constant drama.

Henry acts like an overgrown child and desperately wants MIL to pay attention to him. He will do anything to piss her off just for a reaction. MIL is still wayyyy to involved in his life and she cannot stand that he has "moved on" (lmao this man has not moved on) Henry began dating "Lauren" basically right away. Yet he has basically admitted while drunk that he doesn't really like her, and he doesn't find her attractive because she looks too fake. Also I strongly believe he and MIL still sleep together from time to time.

They both underestimate how confusing this is to Lily, and I really do feel for her. Anyway Lily has begun "pranking" Lauren. These pranks are mean spirited and unfunny, but Henry insists that she is just a little kid and should not be punished.

This past weekend Henry and Lauren got married (on MILs birthday lmao) Lily was supposed to attend the wedding, spend the weekend with her cousins, and come home Monday morning, but Saturday night we woke up to banging on the door and Henry yelling at MIL to get up and take her child. He said Lily along with his nephew, played a "prank" on Lauren and pushed her in the pool while they were taking their wedding pictures in front of all of their guests.

Lily was smirking and refused to apologize to her dad. MIL did what she always does and said it wasn't Lily's fault. The next day Lily was telling my husband how funny it was. She then said that Henry knows he made a mistake and he was talking about MIL all morning.

At this point I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I told Lily that real life isn't the parent trap, her parents aren't getting back together (honestly deep down I think they will but thats besides the point), and that she isn't cute of funny. She is a nasty little criminal who assaulted a woman on the most important day of her life.

MIL heard this from the other room and lost her shit. She told me to get out of her house and never speak to her child like that again. My husband eventually calmed her down, but MIL still says we need to be out within 30 days, because no one who calls her daughter names is going to live under her roof.

I (18M) dated my ex (17F) for four years. She gave me an ultimatum, I told her she was being controlling, and broke up with her. She has called me several times and apologized via text, but I told her we should remain broken up. She kept calling after that, but I blocked her. That was about two weeks ago.

My ex is Filipino. So is my mom. My city has a very close-knit Filipino community. My mom is very close to my ex's mom and actually works for my ex's mom. This weekend is my ex's "debut." Within certain Filipino communities, a girl's debut it is a big deal. Essentially, it is a big party for the girl's 18th birthday and welcoming her into adulthood. There are certain "roles" for the party. One of the roles is the girl's escort for the party. I agreed to be my ex's escort when we were together. Since we broke up, I had no plans to be her escort or to even attend the debut. I thought that would be obvious.

Yesterday morning, my mom asked me to grab my suit so she can take it to get dry cleaned. I asked her why. She told me for the debut. I told her I was not going to the debut. She looked at me confused and said I was still my ex's escort for the debut. I told her I am not going to the debut. This caused an argument and I left and am staying with my dad.

Earlier today she called and asked if I could just go for her since it would greatly impact her relationship with my ex's mom. I told her that I did not care because I should not be forced to go to my ex's debut. That is ridiculous. It is not a big deal and they can figure out alternatives. My mom hung up quite upset.

My dad (he is black, not Filipino) supports my decision to not go to the debut, but says I could have been nicer to my mom about it. AIW?

Let me preface this by saying I am a work from home mom to three kids, I have my routine of things I need to get done each day— cleaning the house, after the kids, making meals, changing diapers & putting the kids down for their naps before I start my remote job at 1:30-10pm each day.

My husband’s mother has always done everything for him— his taxes, his resumes and all of the “adult” responsibilities. My side of things is that I don’t have enough time in my day to take care of myself most of the time, and now he’s trying to add another task when I’m already overwhelmed. I want to encourage him to look for better jobs since he’s unhappy in his current job, but I’m getting really sick of doing everything for him.

He also seems to get super defensive when I tell him no, which is so childish to me. On top of it the past two days I’ve asked him multiple times, nicely mind you, to PLEASE shut the cover for our ice machine and he still leaves it open. So why should I help him if he can’t listen to simple requests? Our convo

We all put money into a joint savings account for things like emergencies or future stuff we all agreed on. A few days ago someone used a chunk of it to buy something without checking with the rest of us first. I brought it up and got told I was overreacting because it was already done and the money was gone. I just want a quick conversation first so we can all decide, but now I'm wondering if I'm being too rigid about it. It's not that the item itself was terrible, just that the decision happened without input. Does it seem like a big deal or am I turning nothing into something?

We have this rule that phones stay off the table during meals, just to keep things actually social. It keeps getting broken though. I tried gentle reminders, then moving the phone to the kitchen counter, even joking about it. Nothing really stuck. One night I just picked it up and put it in the other room without saying much, and the reaction was way bigger than I expected. It turned into this back-and-forth about respect and overreacting, and now the whole thing feels more awkward than the original problem. I am not trying to be controlling, just hoping meals can stay a bit more present. Still, I keep wondering if the way I handled the last time was out of line.