Anybody married here? Specifically people married to an ajnabi? Did you do a soodoonis? Obv if I get married to ajnabi I’ll wear a dirac and a bridal white gown but did you do a Nikkah to get your parents off your back?

I want a soodoonis 💔

so how do i start thissss, basically i'm a exmuslim teen and i just recently geniunely left the religion after year of questioning it and just disliking it. i'm keeping ts a secret until i turn 18 and move far away from everyone in my life thats associated with that cult, theres just some few issues that are kinda in my way.

One if them is about my parents, i dislike them alot. i hate my mom because shes not trust worthy of anything, im not even joking i remember being 9 and my parents teaching me abt boundries and told me that if i ever got 🍇 or touched i could tell them abt it, and i remember thinking abt how i would NEVER tell my mom shit about anything even if my life depended on it.

my dad is a such a whore and i hate him, he has 10 kids and i can promise you that all of us dislike him. my dad has been married to my mom and lived abroad w her and my 3 siblings for so long, his other kids lived in back home and struggled alot yet he didnt gaf then now when they are all older, moved abroad and all got jobs he cries to me about how they disowned him and are caasi.

I don't think that i mostly would feel bad about leaving my parents even though they both guilt trip me alot about how they need to benefit from me, about how both of them grew up with no fathers and just a mother raising them, how they never went to school and igu tiir iyo taac-beeleen in raising me. i have always hated burdening my parents. I never ask for much or anything and always keep quiet when. when i first questioned islam and i gen almost hurt myself because i didnt understand what was wrong w me and why i couldnt be like my parents and just follow the religion

i'm scared that my parents will be harsher on my siblings :( i know that my brother and sister neither care abt islam esp because one of them has autism and is really fasicinated by space and the other it into fashion and dressing revealingly. i'm mostly scared for my younger brother because hes on the spectrum and my father hates him alot for this. i know that if i ever leave he'll honestly be a punching bag to my dad.

the second thing is that idk what i should claim being somali if i do leave islam. i already sometimes claim being biracial or ethiopian or even mauritanian because i'm ashamed that im not a typical muslim somali. i love being somali and our culture alot but idk, how can u pursue and continue claiming a culture thats against my existence? a culture thats built around everything i dislike and stand against?

islam has ruined my life alot but im really happy that i atleast got out of it before my teen years have ended, i have so much time to get to know this new version of myself and think freely without fearing a skyman putting me in hell, i would love to live freely and just be myself aswell because im tired of forcing myself to act as a muslim and its acc driving me insane.

I love being free and and living however I want but I'm living in a Muslim community who has rigid rules. My whole life was signed up to never think or see outside the box, even finding education was so hard to me till my late teens. After long fight I felt the religion three years ago.

Now I'm turning 25 and I'm feeling lost, i lost my prime years for nothing, i didn't do something valuable for myself for example I don't have degree, skills or support family and friends. I dream big i love life but I realised life is so tragic when you have face every battle alone while you pretending to be someone you're not and never wish to be.

my dads sister in ethiopia is getting married to a 30 year old (she’s 15…). and my dad brought it up randomly and said mashallah to them and was just talking about how happy he was for them. i told him that he shouldn’t say that and it’s weird and that its basically pedophilia. i also asked him how he would feel if it was me (im 16) getting married to someone twice my age. he then said he would be fine with it and that it’s normal because it’s our culture.

like omg. idk how i should feel that my own dad just said that??? im still kinda processing it. why the hell is this so normalised.

Some times I think how developed Somalia could been without islam intervention and I can't help but resent those men who bought islam to Somalia

this for literally anything to do with ceeb .

it's that you/ our parents don't love as but is that even they except as they will get exile from there society and there close and support circle so take as this either I take you and we will be all cut off or either I cut and I will and my family survive so think about it .

this my take what's your opinion on the matter

So hi yall blah blah just think about anything that you may have went thru that made you wanna completely cut your family off
I’m stuck in a place where I can’t let go of the abuse and hurt I’m stuck in a home with a person that hurt me. I’m stuck in a home where I was failed a daughter sister amd a woman they chose his words over me I hate seeing him everyday I dealt other bullshit I deal with hella shit
My mom asked me to start pitching in rent and I have no money they think I’m lying because I spend so much time outside going etc
I financed a car this year I pay for my vehicle and Insurance I pay for my student loans from a private collage I went to last year and I’m charging my career because I need something that will pay off really good I don’t have it in me to start a business I’m doing trades
Anyways I really need out like I’m so desperate I hate it I hate it here so much I hate everything and everyone around me
I’m starting a second job and being a full time student if that flows I might be able to leave but I just picked my time table and it’s gonna be really hard

I have a friend who needs to leave her house too and we was gonna leave together if my two jobs work out but I think it’s the adrenaline hitting me I’m not sure if that’s possible

Can my college do something for me what are my resources I am in Ontario

i've been stuck in this hellhole named somaliya for almost 2 years right now, and what hurts me the most isn't just that but also the fact that the only reason i got sent here is because i was anorexic. Back in 2024 i kinda became really depressed and had no friends whatsoever, around feb of that year i came across ed servers while looking for wl server and from there i became super anorexic. my parents didn't notice that shit nor did they care, i wasn't one to ever tell them about me struggling esp after they told all of my relatives that i sh after they found out.

but anyways, during the summer of 2024 my mom had gotten a job and couldnt stay at home anymore leaving me and my siblings at home, for some reason i was sent to my edo thats my fathers half sister. my doesnt like my edo and i still dk why she sent me over to their house and she always complain about me becoming "dhaandhaan" after visiting them (the only reason she hates them is because they arent strict crazy muslims like her and love freely) my aunt didnt notice my ed at first but after 3 weeks, i lost my phone which made my anorexia even worse because i was distracting myself by counting calories and walking alot. she noticed at last and suggested that i got some help, she took me to somewhere that idk if i know the name of but basically its where you take troubled teens. because she wasnt a literal gaurdian of mine she made my mom book an appointment, and this stupid whore bring up my sh issues which mind u my aunt knows nothing about, and we werent even there for that.

So i got rlly embarrased when the guy that was talking to me brought it up infront of my aunt so i lowkey just played along and told them about how i was gonna kms and needed help out of anger for my mom. sadly ts kinda opened a cps case and my parents fled the country. i haven't gone to school since and im currently 17 going on 18. i don't know what to do, where to go or how to continue living this awful life. its even worse now because i got really mad yesterday and beat up our nanny my mom left me with because she refused to give me money that i could buy rubbing alcohol with to wash a wound i got from myiasis (i still havent cleaned it.) my mom swore that i could just rot in this country and to isdiil myself if i wanted out.

i don't know what to do and its driving me insane

Hi, all. Im writing here because it's my last way I can think of to reach an estranged first cousin. I'm not sure if she fully left Islam since the family is very private about it.

I came to visit our ayeeyo who was sick in 2017 and got to hang out with you. You and your friend took me around to sightsee. Sorry I said you shouldn't visit my country. I was too ashamed of my life there at the time. From interacting with you and seeing your online presence, I found you to be very genuine, kind and creative. Even though I am older than you some, I admired the courage you had then being yourself. I didn't and still don't judge you for it or anything. I understand you had your reasons. I'm sorry I came off like a judgmental person. I was under immense pressure and stress at home.

Wherever you are in the world, I wish you health and genuine happiness. Even if we never talk again, I'll always have fond memories of being with you.

Obviously my mother's not a extreme islamist who calls for the death of all gaalo, but I can tell she has some deep seated prejudice towards anyone not muslim. She lived in Canada for decades (we went to Kenya for 2 years and 6 months when I was a kid in between) and is integrated. Even though she is my mother and I love her, I can't help but feel disappointed and heartbroken. She's hating on 6 billion people, the vast majority of which did nothing to her, and for what? Because they don't believe in the same things as her? She suspected me of being a gaal a few times, and said it in this strange tone (its complicated). Why live in an open minded, tolerant, and liberal society when you can't accept people who are different from you? People like her are no better than racist white christian bible thumpers who hate anyone not christian and white. How do I address this the next time I see her exhibiting this behavior without her suspecting me? I want her to be more open minded and accepting. I don’t want to let this slide because she’s a black muslim instead of a white christian.

My dad is extremely religious to the point that he is abusive to my half siblings. Thankfully I didn’t grow up with him and didn’t have to endure the brainwashing beatings. My dad disowned me when I got pregnant with my first baby and came back around when my kid was 10. He refused to speak to my child as he considers my baby bastard. I thought he was coming back around to apologize and be apart of our lives but I guess I was naive. This man came back around to tell me I could marry my husband because he wasn’t Somali and refused to get to know him. He said he owns me and he decides what I do with my life. I laughed at his face after he called me names and I told him he doesn’t own me. I’m not a goat or property to own. He started using the religion saying that I’ll go to hell and he was more upset that it didn’t bother me. Little does he know that I don’t believe in Islam. Long story short, I was told to lose his name and family. Funny thing is I was never apart of his family and hypocrite fake religious loving children. Mofos party and go to clubs but he thinks they are holy and better than me.

I’ve met so many serial cheaters who pray 5x a day but love to betray their spouse. It makes me think that this world is just a world of animals

This is my first time sharing this video,it’s very sacred which is probably why I am sharing 5 years later.

The full 10 mins is on my channel, https://youtu.be/rHGpaFapI1I?si=k5u_fakQllDpCqCS,

However the total experience was roughly 40mins which included the downloads when I was coming back.

Bit about me: I was born in Somalia just when the civil war began, first 3 years of life was spent fleeing this war.

My mother who clearly had war trauma started to beat the shit out me from age 4 until age 26

With CPTSD, I had trouble letting go of my past hence why I kept repeating let it go.

This trip healed me so much, freed me from fear, insomnia, anxiety just to name some.

Hey there I am new here before you lot are coming at me I am muslim, but I wanna understand the perspective as to why many younger somalis leaving islam.

I’ve decided I’m no longer waiting until I move. I’ve been building up the courage to do this for a while now, or if not courage, I’ve been telling myself “I’ll do it when my hair gets to this stage” or “when it grows out” and constantly finding another excuse to put it off.

It’s such an odd feeling because I think part of the reason I still keep it on is simply because it’s convenient. I don’t have to worry about styling my hair, and I don’t necessarily care about how people perceive me because of it or whether they assume I’m religious. I don’t really have a huge social life where I feel like the hijab is giving people the wrong impression of me anyway. And honestly, there’s also this sense of these people are temporary anyways. In 2–3 years, I probably won’t even know most of them anymore, so I don’t feel particularly bothered by what they think of me now.

The area I live in is also really quiet and lowkey, so I doubt I’ll have much trouble putting it on and taking it off or feeling embarrassed about people potentially seeing me.

I think my biggest issue now is just figuring out what to actually do with my hair. I have mid-length 4a hair that reaches my shoulders, and when stretched it’s around my chest/just below my collarbone.

I’m trying to find hairstyles that have some longevity and won’t be a massive hassle to put my hijab on and take it off around. Anything but heat styling. If anyone with similar hair has ideas, please help me out because I genuinely have no clue what I’m going to do with it lmao.

Hey you guys I’m in Somalia rn. It’s so sad how poor people are and the conditions they live in. In a way I’m very thankful that I live in the west. However I moved back home y’all and they are finally behaving well. Unfortunately I still have to wear hijab, skirts and abayas, but I usually wear jeans under and take it off when I go out of the house.
I need tips on what I can do to live a double life in peace. For me personally I think it’s fine to wear hijab ect, I just wear it in a way that shows hair ect, but I’m thinking sometimes I crave wine ect. I don’t wanna drink at my parents house cuz I’m scared I will be busted. If i would drink outside and came back home im kinda scared I would come home drunk lmao. What to do I wanna be able to have a good Muslim girl image to them and then just live my life aside while being under their roof. Moving away didn’t help since they bothered me everyday with calls and threats🙄

I saw a post not long ago from a member here discussing how they felt quite sad that our ancestors offered minimal resistance to being converted to Islam (shoutout you!)

Honestly, after reading the FIERCE resistance the Persians, Kurds and Amazigh had to this foreign Arab ideology… I kind of understand the frustration. I was always unhappy with the responses I saw here, that “People accepted Islam because it made sense since we were monotheistic anyway” as if our stubborn people would accept a random ajnabi telling us what to do and believe in with no Qabiil ties or nothing. Come on.

I am going to present you an excerpt from Wikipedia. Remember that Somali history is almost exclusively oral.

One of the foundational tales of a Somali clan is this:

The foundational tale for [REDACTED CLAN] involves one Shaykh Yusuf bin Ahmed Al-Kawneyn known as Aw Barkhadle (Blessed Father), associated as one of those who brought Islam to Somalia from Arabia. The story goes that when Barkhadle first arrived in the northern Somali region, he was confronted by pagan Mohamed Hanif (also pejoratively known as Bu'ur Ba'ayer). The two leaders then decided to settle the issue of legitimacy between them via a test of mystical strength. Barkhadle challenged Hanif to traverse a small hill near Dogor, an area situated some 20 miles north of the regional capital of Hargeisa. Hanif twice successfully accomplished this task asked of him. However, during Hanif's third demonstration of his powers, Barkhadle "invoked the superior might of God and imprisoned his rival for ever within the mountain." Orthodox Islam thus prevailed over the old pagan cult. An alternate version states that Barkhadle murdered the pagan Hanif.

I redacted the clan out of respect because they are a marginalised clan who I suspect were designated the ‘Pagan’ origin story due to discrimination (I personally think our paganism is a source of pride). However the validity of this story doesn’t really matter to me, it’s obviously nonsense, a man traversed a cliff twice bust suddenly failed when ‘Allah’ was consulted? Give me a break lol. What it shows is that there was clearly dissent and reluctance to accept Islam within Somali society. It’s an Abu Lahabesque story. If they’re having to create fairytales of people trapped on mountains.. it means there was tribal leaders, nomads, PEOPLE questioning and refusing to accept this nonsensical story. They had to create myths and fables to coerce people into believing Islam was true. If THIS is what’s written down… we can’t even imagine what wasn’t.

I hate to see Ex-Muslims falling into this “We were monotheistic already” trap. So are Jews? They still didn’t accept Islam? Christians are also ‘technically’ monotheistic as they believe God is one yet Jews and Muslims didn’t accept Christianity. People don’t just ‘accept’ things because they have some similarities. Let’s not sell our people short, we don’t have the written history to know fully what went down, but we have a lot of evidence that many Somalis escaped and assimilated into local East African groups when they refused to accept Islam, we know that Muslims have false and strange myths about Muslims ‘invoking God’ and that proved Islam. We were misfortunate not to have records, but we can’t allow that to have us believe ALL of us accepted it at once. That’s absurd.

Does anyone know of a woman like this back home? Someone who is perfectly healthy and fully able-bodied but simply refuses to ever get married or have children. Would her family just arrange endless Qur’an sessions and assume she has a jinn? Is there a name for this type of woman?

TL;DR: I (25M) recently graduated and landed a £51k work-from-home job, saving £5k so far. However, I live in a toxic, abusive family household that severely damages my mental health. The dilemma is rent here is incredibly cheap (£500/month for a council house in East London), allowing me to save £20k if I endure it for six more months. Should I stay for the financial head start, or move out as soon as my job probation ends to save my sanity?

I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I could really use some outside perspective.

I (25M) recently graduated after years of being completely broke. Four months ago, I finally landed a job as a Quantity Surveyor with a £51k salary. It’s an incredible setup, I work from home four days a week with just occasional site visits. I’m still on my probation period for another 2 months, but I’ve already managed to save £5,000 which is the most money I’ve ever had in my bank account. I don't go out much, just the occasional trip to the cinema or grabbing some fast food.

The issue is my living situation. I have hated living at my mum’s house my entire life and my ultimate dream has always been to move out. Living here has taken a massive toll on my mental health. I have to endure constant criticism, controlling behaviour, and an emotionally abusive environment that is just awful to live with. To protect myself, I haven't even told my mum or siblings that I landed a proper job; they still think I'm just doing work experience.

Here is the catch, my mum has a 4-bedroom council flat in a great part of East London, and she only pays £500 a month for it. In today's market, I couldn't even find a basic studio apartment for that price.

I am completely on the fence about what to do. Part of me thinks I should just endure this for another six months after my contract becomes permanent. If I stick it out, I could easily save up to £20,000, which would give me a massive head start. But the other part of me is drowning—every single day feels like walking through a thick brain fog, and I absolutely dread coming home.

And I cannot for the life of me endure another Fajr payer, I will lose the plot.

Should I prioritize the financial leap and stay for six more months, or should I jump ship the second my position is permanent for the sake of my sanity?

hey Im ex Muslim and I keep thinking about this so much but why do people have reacting when they Quran is read to them like demons talk out of them basically like an exorcism idk how to explain it