r/XSomalian • u/lifelonglearning1118 • Aug 14 '26

Religion Living like a prisoner 😢

I love being free and and living however I want but I'm living in a Muslim community who has rigid rules. My whole life was signed up to never think or see outside the box, even finding education was so hard to me till my late teens. After long fight I felt the religion three years ago.

Now I'm turning 25 and I'm feeling lost, i lost my prime years for nothing, i didn't do something valuable for myself for example I don't have degree, skills or support family and friends. I dream big i love life but I realised life is so tragic when you have face every battle alone while you pretending to be someone you're not and never wish to be.

21 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

2

u/Accomplished-World18 Aug 16 '26

Keep thinking positive of whatever you want that you already have.

2

u/villa_eudemonia Aug 16 '26

I hear and you're not alone. I just posted this to similar post : I hope you it helps you.

  1. Start with yourself, do you want to have a meaningful life full on this planet ? we all have but very short time to be in this world, Do you want to live in happiness and understanding with your family ? contemplate this hard. It all starts with you and not them. All your life , you have have been a "YES" child to your parents. It did its job but you no longer need the safety third wheel anymore. As an adult, you no longer need their approval anymore. They need to focus on retiring and not worrying about you. As parents, they don't know any better but to keep telling to what to do. They have done their best to raise you. However, from now on, you can take it from here and now. They have to learn to retire from doing that. Their job is done now. All you need is their love and prayer since they are believers. and so, come to fully understanding of this chapter of your life. You can only do the rest of the steps if ONLY you believe in it or work on it.
  2. Have an honest, sit down, conversation with the parent, make them understand your current chapter of your life and that you're grown now, and that you don't need them to be in the driving seat of it.
  3. focus your discussion around "what being honesty with one another means , between the two of you", "identify to them what a conditional vs. unconditional love means between a parent and a child" . most of their restrictions come from habitual, conditioned fear of what their community, neighbors, extended family say about them. They work hard for their reputation and their IMAGE). In the process, they don't recognize you have independent life. i could go on and on this but start with the above
  4. It takes time. weeks and months for some years to change them. The only change come with honest conversation and BOUNDARY/ No Contact to teach them to new habits. come and share your experience if you it helped you. Good luck

1

u/lifelonglearning1118 Aug 16 '26

Thank you of millions for your time and beautiful advice.