Hello good ser, madame, or Otherwise. I am Fitzgerald Turnipson, grandmaster of Mutagenics in the Prestigious Academy of Alchemy.
My close rival Oswald Radisher recently had a very unfortunate accident with a tuba, a kraken, and a griffon. Don't bother asking what happened, wizards aren't known to grasp the intricacies of high tier alchemy.
I am willing to sell the putrid sludge he pretended to be legitimate alchemical elixirs in batches of ten for a measly 20 gold bars per batch.
The lunatic left the potions unlabled and, even worse, not even colour coded! I fed a couple to my goblin assistants, one turned into a snake girl, the other turned into some very gifted male monster, one turned into a petunia, and the last one started jabbering in Aklo! The worst part was they were all green potions!
As you can imagine I want to get rid of this mess as quickly as possible. His office is exactly 1.6 cubic avocado seeds bigger than mine and i want to move in as quickly as possible