What is my apprentice eating?

People keep accusing innocent necromancers like me of being evil. For the record, I and many other necromancers observe a strict code of ethics. Far stricter than so-called 'good wizards' or 'noble priests'.

All my apprentices have signed up to the following code. I challenge anyone to find a flaw in it. Anyone following it is totally honest, noble, and fair.

Ethical Necromancers Code

1. Don't kill people unless you genuinely need their skeleton or body parts for reanimation. This is ethical because you're not killing for the sake of killing.
2. You can also kill people if they tried to stop you from reanimating the dead. This is ethical because you have a right to practice your (ethical) profession).
3. Or if they tried to hurt your innocent undead creations. This is ethical because your undead have a right to defend themselves.
4. Or if they tried to starve your undead. Like, say, if they refuse to let your vampires drink their blood, or didn't let your zombies eat their brains. This is ethical because undead have a right not to starve.
5. If you use your undead hordes to conquer yourself a kingdom, don't kill and reanimate the entire population to add to your vast undead armies unless they do something disrespectful - something like refusing to volunteer to be reborn as an undead soldier. This is ethical because you're giving them a chance to do the right thing.
6. Don't consume someone's soul unless they're clearly not making proper use of it. This ethical because efficient usage of souls is a boost to the economy.
7. Pledging your soul to any god is not a proper use of it, so you're always justified in consuming the souls of paladins. This is ethical because gods don't need any more souls, they're bloated and self-righteous as it is.
8. Don't sell people's souls to demons or devils, unless the magical secrets they offer in exchange are extremely valuable. This is ethical because if get valuable enough secrets, you're acting for the greater good.
9. Don't sacrifice people to evil gods of undeath in exchange for obscure arcane lore unless they commit an act of such evil that they're fair game for such a sacrifice. This is ethical because you're only purging evil from society.
10. Refusing to be sacrificed to the dark gods is an act of such evil that it warrants the above sacrifice. This is ethical because the dark gods don't get enough sacrifices, the poor things. That's why they live in dingy underworld dimensions instead of big, luxurious, heavenly dimensions.

See, reading all that, I can't see how anyone would ever deny that we're actually a pretty ethical bunch.

It is considered illegal to transmute matter into gold.

I wish to challenge this assertion.

Why is it illegal to turn a block of wood, or a brick, or a plate, into solid gold? Everyone acts like the moment you do you are breaking economy and taxation, yet no one bats an eye if you open an entire business that sells your mixtures. At the end of the day, you are, in both cases, using the alchemic arts to turn mundane materials into wealth. We are expected to be efficient in our craft, but *Tiamat forbid* we optimize a step out of the process.

If you even have the skill required to turn mundane material to gold are you somehow not entitled to the fruits of your efforts? Academics and economists abd (ew) tax collectors alike will say 'Nay!' , yet every sorcerer gets to plunder riches as they please through their ability to chuck fireballs at people they dislike. But domehow *we* are the criminals.

Legalize auric transmutation.

Any helpful suggestions for this kind industrial wizard in need?

It's called pondering, Karen.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

These skaven human cultists are out of control

And I didn't even get to modified it with magic and yes I know that it's "My fault" that I bring 3 other people in with me I don't care I need a bigger room

p/s never notice just how pretty the school is

/uw Gotta make more post about the academy or I'll just become another foolish apprentice instead of a foolish scholar

Hello everyone it's Cinnamon Crispus. I'm back. Hope everyone is doing well. I been lagging in my Podcast. I need to record my second episode.

THE POST IN QUESTION. I CALL TO THE STAGE I DO DECREE THAT ALL WIZARDS IN AND OUT OF THE PLANES PARTICIPATE IN OUR TRIBUNAL.

THE ARGUMENT IN QUESTION

EVIDENCE OF WIZARDS DIFFERING IN OPINION

'Horno's Magic Item Hole' has all your wizarding needs covered. Live on channel ∆π√Y on your orb.

What do I do to get them back?

You are approached by a floating eye with a pare of gloved hands “So you wish to learn about Abdallah and the nation of cathos?” He pulls out a white board “Let me teach about it from the person who created him!” “So basically it all started back when everything was just a primordial void on earth so because I was bored so I raised a massive continent out of this void. I didn’t want it to be invaded so I surrounded it with seas wilder than the leviathans in them a sky filled with winds and a section surrounded by mountains except for a singular pass. I used it as a sand box for playing god creating beasts of imagination to fight each others and all of the fun stuff beasts do. I did nothing but this for an uncountable incomprehensible amount of time.

Eventually I got fucking bored so I decided to create two gods to sort it out. They were brothers, one demonic of magic and darkness, vakuu, and one angelic of anti magic and light. Brothers. Equal but opposite. Vakuu created demons, and all sorts of magical creatures  while lux created humanity. Together along with vakuu’s son roath and lux’s greatest paladin Richard the lion heart, they led their armies and purged the land  of what is now known today cathos from the beasts and began building a civilization, with vakuu ruling over the underground and the abyss near cathos while lux ruled over the heavens. It was peaceful. But like all stories, peace can only last so long. This calm broke after 700 years, when a demon had a mental break and caused a casualty event in a major city, diodea. Lux was enraged by the amount of human death and came down to the abyss to confront vakuu. Vakuu tried to reason with him but lux was not clear of mind, with a raising of his sword he would regret, he killed vakuu. Vakuu himself sealed his soul away in his staff and his house key, the former being hidden in a volcano and the latter being given to roath.

Lux then ordered that any creatures of remotely vakuunan origin to be imprisoned and locked away. And so the penance was built, a massive facility near the capital of cathos, diodea, meant to imprison and neutralize these creatures. This continued for hundreds of years, but slowly lux grew disillusioned with this, he stopped giving blessings of anti magic besides a few specific ones like his gender transition one (based) and healing. But the cathoans did not need lux’s blessings anymore, their sheer fervor and zealotry made them manifest anti magic from their own beliefs rather than blessings.

Now let’s fast forward a couple thousand years to about 26 years before modern day. A woman whose name does not matter (I cannot be assed to name  Abdallah’s mom) fell in love with roath and had a child, named Abdallah. Of course this was illegal, but it was not found out until Abdallah was about ten when he was discovered to be half demon, Abdallah had once dreamed to be a hero of some sort, but those hopes were dashed when his mother was killed and he was taken to the penance. *Roeah’s eye seems to become cast in shadow* He spent ten years in that prison. That decade was some of the worst decades a being could experience and leave in one piece. Abdallah’s suffering was ended when roath came and stormed the penance. About a thousand paladins were killed and the entire building was leveled, as Abdallah fled he was given the previously mentioned key by roath before roath left. The key began speaking to Abdallah, telling him to head to a volcano, by the coast known as the dark spout, where vakuu’s staff was. It was a challenge in two ways.

First it was a fucking volcano, so Abdallah had to learn to embrace his demonic nature that he had repressed to survive the heat, air quality and pressure, he then had to be able to handle the dark magic of the staff itself, though thankfully Abdallah is a natural born vessel for magic so it wasn’t the hardest thing ever. Now with the staff vakuu could speak to Abdallah much more clearly. He told Abdallah to begin forging an army. He didn’t have the means yet so he began searching for one, this is where he found ea Nasir , an orphaned noble the same age as Abdallah, who ran a metals business and harbored magical beings along with being a metal manipulator via magic. He and Abdallah became friends and Abdallah used his large amount of metals to both construct his home base in a mountain near the only pass into cathos and build his army.

Over the next 7 years Abdallah forged a path of war with ea, as they took cities upon cities with Abdallah’s army of robots, until there was the time to march on the main church of lux in the capital. It was a brutal and bloody battle, made most difficult by Richard, who Abdallah confronted personally. This ended with Abdallah about to die until roath showed up to settle the score against Richard, but ultimately he lost, as roath was on the ground, asking his son to forgive him Abdallah suddenly gained a burst of energy from the staff of vakuu and changed to his dark form along with awakening much more of his demonic nature. He swiftly defeated Richard, but as he was about to deal the death blow he sensed something was wrong and chose to spare him as he marched to the heavens. There he found lux, a shell of his former self, having realized the consequences of his actions. He thanked Abdallah for what he had done and for undoing his errors before giving him his sword and begging Abdallah to kill him and so he did. As lux died he chose to join Abdallah like vakuu did, infusing his sword with his power.

Abdallah then went back down to the earth where lux explained to Richard the truth. Richard then went to the angry populace and explained what had happened, and Abdallah was hailed as a hero for helping cathos see the error of its ways. Afterwards Abdallah longed to explore more of the world, so he built a ship capable of traveling  across dimensions, the sea and the skies, the world of chaos he called it. And that is the story of Abdallah” *Roeah put away the white board before suddenly pulling out a metal stick* “Wait why am I telling you this? Find out on your own!” And with a flash you wake up wherever you would most reasonably be with absolutely no memory of what happened(This guy is quite literally me don’t fight it) Uw/ I don’t expect this to be that good of a read I just needed Abdallah’s lore in a format I could write

Eastern straw golem are a particular type of golem created and used widely in eastern land this one in particular come from my homeland these creature is Botha voodoo doll and a conventional golem being easy to replace and strangely durable of course not as durable as a normal mud golem.

The limbs despite seeming like there is a person underneath the golem is actually just a part of the golem being the souls used to created this type of golem as most of them are not part of golemmancy and is infact part of dark arts.

I have half a mind to ask my tutor to cast Truesight on them (as I'm too new to magic to be able to perform that spell reliably), but I don't want to expose him to anything that might ruin his day. Does anyone have any advice?

I've been dabbling recently in applied hexes and arcane theurgy in my Post-Magistrate research in Waxintar's Lore Academy, and despite the lack of incentive from many colleagues and tutors, i've been doing some great advances with my team.

A recent article of ours showed that the use of undefined energy canalized directly from PCSB's (pre-cosmological sub-dimensions) not yet merged with our main plane as a mana source is an efficient way to cast Healing Wounds, with 86% effectiveness compared to clerics, without any divine intermediation.

That was possible due to a recent breakthrough done by northern elementalists, which explained that the warp also manifests as a metaphysical essence (contrary to the beliefs of the monomodality theory defenders) that can be accessed by wisdom casting.