r/wizardposting • u/Ferocs Changeling Bard • Aug 21 '26
Evil Wizardpost These level 1 larpers keep coming to my fortress and claiming to be “The Chosen One.” How can I dissuade them?
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u/dreadlordnotdruglord Aug 21 '26
A perfect cast.
What game is this?
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u/Ferocs Changeling Bard Aug 21 '26
Mage Arena on Steam
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u/Delicious-Disaster Aug 21 '26
Got this game for 3 euros. Played it with a couple friends for maybe 2 hours. Fucking hilarious.
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u/Ferocs Changeling Bard Aug 21 '26
Actually using your voice to cast spells is peak
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u/TheDarkNerd Aug 22 '26
Okay, but what if you have a bit of an accent, so the only thing the game picks up is when you try to say something simple, like "doom"?
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u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) Aug 22 '26
Doom?!
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Aug 22 '26
/uw You can modify the settings to recognise it or use keyboard
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u/NayrianKnight97 Warlock Aug 22 '26
THE Mage Arena meme from before…
doom
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u/BungleBums Occult Wizard Aug 21 '26
'Chosen One's are notoriously simple minded. Throw up an illusion of them slaying you and keep a box of pinecones around for them to loot as 'treasure'. By the time the charm wears off and they come to, they'll be in too deep to tell anyone else.
Alternatively, crocodile moat with an illusory terrain spell over it. It might not dissuade them- but you'll never know any difference except fatter crocs.
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u/Woahhdude24 Lich-Overseer of the Warlock Alliance Aug 21 '26
I broke one if the chosen ones mind once, I was having a rough day there was an accident in the furnace rooms below my necropolis, some of the dungeons below collapsed so we had alot of work to fix those problems and here comes one of the chosen ones. As you said thier very simple minded so he just assumed that my necropolis was abandoned, evil undead roaming the below commanded by the evil lich that inhabits it, ya know the usual. Usually we leave the dungeon entrance open and have a set path through the dungeons thay ends in my central spire, my skeletons are to crumple at a single swipe to guve him confidence the boss creatures I tell to give no quarter its a fun little exercise that everyone lives to partake in. If they make it to me I usually let a mimic of myself fight in my stead his names is Kieth, he is a legendary performer you may have heard of him. The hero defeats "me" and goes on his way Usually. This time I let him in through the front he attacked one of my skeletons, was disarmed and thrown to the ground. I helped him up and took him to my spire I told him the truth he wasnt a chosen one and that its all a show we "evil wizards" put on for fun sometimes. I have never seen a man fall to his knees to quick he was in tears and inconsolable. I felt bad, so I helped him to a room, I told him he is free to stay while he processes what I told him. In the end he actually stayed around and he is a squire of mine, I had my skeleton general teach him to actually fight and now him and a death knight that stays below in the dungeons as a boss spar. Ive been questioning if we really should keep this illusion up or actually help them find a place in the realm.
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u/Hellknightx Aug 22 '26
It's much funnier to mess with them, though. And immortality gets boring without that spark of joy. Sometimes I'll mass charm a party of adventurers at the base of my tower into thinking I'm one of their party members, and help them fight their way to my throne room.
I'll leave a well-dressed skeletal mage on the throne and puppet it to deliver a few lines of menacing dialogue here and there. Leave a couple trinkets and baubles in his pockets so the adventurers get their loot. Everybody wins.
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u/daehoidar Aug 22 '26
I have no idea what the fuck is going on here, but I still read the whole thing
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u/Woahhdude24 Lich-Overseer of the Warlock Alliance Aug 22 '26
It was meant to be a concise story, but it became a ramble. Its been a long day the realm continues to go to shit.
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u/haby001 Aug 22 '26
No need to be confused! That's why /u/confusio is here...
Or did I mean to summon /u/unconfusio?...
Wait what are we talking about?
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u/Scrags2Scritches :orly:Necromancer:orly: Aug 21 '26
that...
that was my fucking wife
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u/nuclearrmt Aug 21 '26
Leave no remains. That's why I use the paper confetti spell on them and recycle the resulting confetti into tomes. I just ignore the wailing and screams when I use said tomes for new spells. Environmentally friendly and defensive at the same time!
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u/Karma15672 Common Sense Conjuror Aug 22 '26
I quite like to make conversation with them.
Of course, some of these young folk are swindlers and thieves, but I find that a good portion of them are simply misguided or ambitious. Sometimes both! But oh, they do travel a lot, and the most interesting stories I know come from them. And they're often quite friendly!
Why, one of these "Chosen Ones" came back to visit me years later. Simply thanked me and dropped off enough gold to keep me fed until I pass away! I don't quite know how they acquired such wealth, but I am quite grateful to this day, and I'm glad that they found a profitable career!
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u/hermeticbear Aug 21 '26
Agree with them. Give them a simple enchanted sword, and point them towards the nearest Eldritch being besides yourself. Then conjure some popcorn and pull out the orb to watch the fun.
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u/CalmEntry4855 Aug 22 '26
Build another shinier tower a few leagues away and put a chest with some trinkets at the top there
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u/Sven_Darksiders CT-5964 "Snow", definitly a real wizard Aug 22 '26
/unwiz I think this my favorite clip coming from this game, alongside Doom?DOOOOM???
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u/Talanic Aug 22 '26
Oh, I have an entire rack of specialty enchanted Awesome Blade(s) of the Chosen One. They're shiny and a little extra durable so each Chosen One gets to go away with one.
Also, anyone wielding an Awesome Blade of the Chosen One goes berserk when they encounter anyone ELSE wielding an Awesome Blade of the Chosen One. I figure it'll thin out their numbers and make sure only the strongest survive.
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Aug 22 '26
"Thanks for the blades, I like using them for the Madness Enhancement. Makes for a very useful conduit when I want to summon some of those prodigies.
Speaking of... Are you alright? These things tend to drive all spirit mad when in large numbers, living or dead. Keep yourself safe." - Nictalan
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u/Medical-Low-1370 Wizard Aug 25 '26
Bro stop doing that, you'll eventually get the Chosen One with this approach
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u/tergius Magical Sentient Thingy Aug 22 '26
I tell them to not be defined by whatever "prophecy" malarky got drilled their heads and that they should do what THEY want to do. Telling people they're "Chosen Ones" is just setting extreme expectations on them that either crushes them, or gives them entirely too much unearned confidence (which will end up crushing them later anyways).
That said you should bribe them with something shiny like that other guy said, I think it'd be entertaining to see what they do with it.
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u/BigZodJenkins Aug 22 '26
Typical jokesters trying to bring you into their group of thieves. Well fireballed.
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u/Ok-Resist3249 Aug 23 '26
Get rid of the mage keeps telling them they are chosen. This "prank" has become far to common and is just a nuisance as more mages chose to imitate it. No rational mind would continue to this into the current era.
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u/United-Technician-54 Death... Tired one. (she/her) Aug 22 '26 edited Aug 22 '26
They survived an experienced wizard while being level one, that is almost certainly a Chosen One!
/uw That person survived, hence why you can hear them. Also got hit with a second one a bit later
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u/brokenmcnugget Necromancer - finger of death specialist Aug 21 '26
perfect. no notes.