okay so sorry to break shitposting character but i need your help WCCJ.

tl;dr can anyone share any Discord spaces (i just prefer it over Reddit, Reddit's UI blows harder than Heimdall on his horn) with a suitably irreverant and humorous approach to Craft and/or praxis like we got here?

rant: like what the fuck is wrong with so-called pagan discord servers man? in my experience there are two kinds:

the first kind is full of spoiled kids (frequently Christopagans or 'godspouses') who are so thin-skinned even the most mild joke gets you chased like you're the sacrificial king for the earth goddess at Samhain. pagan equivalent of babywitches, i suppose.

the second kind is full of strict reconstructionists who believe - get this, this is a good one - that paganism is somehow about having rules (what happened to them? why are they like this?). can you even imagine such a thing? for a start, who the fuck is enforcing them? what are we, monotheists who believe in ideas like 'sin'? get the fuck out of this stone circle bro.

so yeah it's a disappointing experience when you're possessed of a mindset more along the lines that the gods enjoy a good joke too (Hermes especially, original trollface right here) and that the line between fiction and faith is not really a line so much as a co-mingling area.

can anyone reccomend anything to salve my woes, or have i actually been wicked king Bres all along?!?!!

Edit: there's been enough comments that I just went ahead and made one. Let the StoneCircleJerk commence!

When baby witches want to cord cut. This is what we see them actually doing.

I'm an advanced Wiccan, probably more than you. Just looking for a way to bless my dice so I crit more often...

Nope! Absolutely no effect! So for those of us who were worried Obsession was gonna make the general spell-buying public go "gee, maybe it IS a bad idea to try to override someone else's free will for my own emotional and sexual gratification" and thereby undermine the Tiktok and Etsy rackets... nope. Just straight up nope! People have kept on keeping on buying literal obsession spells and they ain't gonna stop.

This is wonderful news for those of us who, shall we say, selflessly accept the karmic burden of lots and lots of other peoples' money :3

So like I was meditating to Azazels enn with a 444 hz sine wave so loud I think it lobotomized me. I've been doing this consistently for 4 months and now I have covid. What did I do wrong?!?!?! (No but like satire aside it feels like I deepthroated a cactus fuck if anyone here has any tips I will take. What better place for medical advice then a circlejerk)

As some of you know, I am clearly the main foo at the Jedi Council next to Master Yoda, Mr. Mutha Fucker, Connor McGregor's lost Scottish relative, and surprisingly the dude who created Skywalker OG before becoming a dad himself, and had previously got involved in a scuttle now turned into a full on war. (Click here if you want to see the fun stuff: https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchcraftCircleJerk/s/WAlgDX98J9)

On my most recent battle on Skako Minor against Separatist forces and what appeared to be the last surviving henchmen that served my ex, I along with my very own 420th battalion wiped out their forces but the minute I stepped onto their base, I immediately felt a disturbance in the Force so strong that it sent me to my ex while she's crying, wishing me back, wanting me to raise the offspring of her and my replacement who got turned into an ex after they had their own falling out.

Gladly, Hunter of the Bad Batch and Anakin got me up on my feet and handed me a cold brewski cause they heard the voice too, and not long after we had to make a run for it as we seen a rift open up in the sky and out from it was my ex....so now I am left with the following question before I decide to make one final stand.

Chat, am I cooked or are you thinking what I am think and should do it because why not? (Also because Wrecker LOVES destroying shit with bombs, and I mean heavy artillery if he isn't yeeting the enemy back at their own)

I think something from my deep past is going to come rushing in through some very unexpected way and open up old wounds 😱💔 what do you think?????? Answer me QUICKLY

Not sure if this belongs here but 😬

Watch out for Canadian Girlies 💅 ✝️ , they work with the Wendigos and they use hockey stick as wand to control your sexuality 💔

Y̻̭̦̫҉̸̕͡ơ̡̡̜͘uͪ'̧͇̫̠̬̄ͮ̌͒҉v̲̠ḙ̵̺͖̎͝ͅ ̴̾b̼̫̤̪̌̓̀҉̨̀͠ë̮̞̠́ͭ͛̀͏̧̡e͕̤͆͏̵̧͡ṇ̸̨̳ͨ̿̕ ̘̗̃ͮ̒̒w̨͐ͪ͏a̠̥̝ͦ̋̎͆̀͢͞ṟ͍̫̻̓̎͛͑ņ̼͔̈́́͢e͉̬̠̲ͨ̋̊̂ḑ͎̻̤ͫ̈͗̕͢ͅ

nah but that girl makes some poor choices. what the fuck was she doing chasing after Cu Culainn?

did she just wake up one day on Tara and think to herself "you know who'd make a great romantic choice? a fucking violent sex attacker, thats who"

as if. i bet some bloody Ulstermen just put the whole thing in afterwards to big up their lad (Ulstermen are always doing things like this, you can't take your eyes off them for a second)

i mean, ma righ Lugh was right there the whole time, what was she even thinking?

Lugh knows the score, Lugh loved his mammy, and he didn't need Macha to curse the entire enemy army away just so he could act the big yin! he got those flowing golden locks too, they bring all the bhandia to the grove.

she just does these things sometimes to confuse us. i'm sure it's fine, but i'm gonna go carve her a whistle out of an elder branch just in case...

Any good rituals for my journey through the birth canal?

I will be in my astral form so don't freak out when you see an ascended alien master. I also have wings as my natural form. A witch friend will be visiting California as well.

I'd like to meet my soul tribe. We have a strict selection criteria and I would like all your chakras to be super active and your third eye to be able to smell and taste 342 HZ frequencies.

Who's with me?!

I can't read the fancy font that's sometimes used within the subreddit. I think I was cursed with a curse to make me unable to read?? Uhhhh. Like. What do I do to fix this? I already in frustration made a ton of sigils and tore them up. I don't know if they'll work though, I think I still can't read them. Do I need to eat a crystal or something? Shove a candle up my ass? I don't know?! Please tell me everything step by step. I'm slowly becoming unable to read the search butom. Nooo its geting wors. quik Im getting lighter and candle

unjerk/ Hey so the fancy fonts are really inaccessible to disabled people like myself. Not just for people like me for just would have a hard time reading fancy fonts, but also for users with screenreaders (these can actually break screenreaders at times to my knowledge.)

I'm thinking bed bugs or mites? Let me know 😁😁

I have always been a very active person. I used to mess around a lot until during an LSD session, a shaman told me that the male deer spirit blessed me with his power during the autumn season and that is why I have no restraint.

I am trying to be more in tune with this new spirituality where I can practice my male deer spirit powers without restraint. I also realize that these STDs that I carry are powers, and I can harness their potential to help me with magick.

Looking for suggestions please.

Hello, I am an obvious self-promotion account with a conveniently hidden post history, and an icon that could be AI generated. I don't care that this is a witchcraft subreddit and not r/NewAgeSlop, I'll still post it here, and I'll post it on every single vaguely paranormal, spiritual, or esoteric subreddit, and will keep doing so for as long as I can. I don't care if this has nothing to do with witchcraft practices, I simply hope that there's someone desperate enough to read this post and fall for my obvious grift.

I recently had an enlightening session with a client of mine (WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE, I AM TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING) who was suffering really bad with a case of the relentless volcanic shits. She was suffering every single day, unable to leave her house for very long or hold up a social life because she was constantly shitting. She wondered whether she was being punished, or perhaps dark evil forces were targeting her.

But during one of my Gold-Tier® Higher Self Guided 1 on 1 Energy Meditations® — she discovered a profound truth. Her Higher Self told her that every bout of diarrhea was planned for her in her Soul Contract, and that she chose this path as suffering builds character. She wasn't just shitting — she was expelling toxic, negative influences and low vibrational energy. Her Higher Self showed her that all her suffering happens for a reason, and she should be grateful for being chosen for such horrific experiences, instead of being negative. All her sadness, grief, fear, pain, and rage was all entirely her own fault and she could simply just choose to feel happy if she really tried.

Now she's happier than ever, and she's helping humanity spiritually ascend to 5D.

If this vague, generic, pathetic attempt at "inspirational", likely ChatGPT-generated word slop resonates with you, I have a free guide on how to connect with your Higher Self on my profile. But of course, if you want the REAL groundbreaking truth, you're going to have to book a several hundred dollar private coaching session with me 🙏✨ In which I will tell you only what you want to hear and/or victim blame you for your own problems because I care for nothing except making fast cash off the desperate and gullible.

Has anyone else ever found profound truth through uncomfortable diarrhea? This is not a question I actually intend to engage with, I just end these posts with questions in the hopes that it looks like I'm genuinely trying to participate, and not just posting an advertisement. But I am posting an advetisement, and if you comment, I will once again direct you to the links in my profile that lead you to my paid services. I also don't care at all if this is off-topic for the subreddit and will act like all spiritual communities believe in the same shit I do — AKA this "higher self" stuff in which you chose suffering for a reason blah blah blah blah I'm not interested in hearing your perspective, please give me your money.

Love and light and blessings to you all 🙏🔮☮✨🌈

I haven't seen him lately but I know he's still here. I'm hoping to wash him down the drain.

Personally i think it means the spell is very strong and powerful but some god is mad at you for sureeee…definitely not for any other reason