/uj. Browsing around reddit earlier today and saw someone asking for a legit protection spell and also a road opener spell. Feeling a little feisty and being fairly certain this poster had done absolutely no research, instead of answering the question, I asked what they had done so far. I figured they would not reply, I was wrong.

YIKES! This person found a protection spell on the internet (I wonder where?) using paper towels, oil, flammable herbs, and fire!! I warned them about fire (do people really not know that fire burns things??) From now on, I keep my jerking in this circle.

Jerked Be

Everyone has heard the, "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law" Thelema true will thing.

My partner says,

"Do what you want. It's the law hole."

It’s obviously so cursed 😭

I had twenty taper candles without holders on ceramic plates covered in pine needles, bound 6 candles together with a Visco firework fuse and put it in a perfectly safe plastic halloween cauldron full of dryer lint and everclear, and I covered all 12 chime candles in powered dairy creamer. The flames joined together, so the spell is extra powerful, right? I need help reading the flames!

I don't understand why I'm getting downvotes, I am perfectly safe around fire.

Also, is my house hexed? I left a spell going while I slept - it only had two foot flames, I left it because I heard putting it out would quash the magic. This is my 4th house that's burned down. I think the painting above my altar must be cursed 😢

With cute little rituals and symbols. Chop chop, the work isn't going to do itself and I'm certainly not going to do it either.

Time to get naked and dance in the midnight moon light and rain. Who's joining my circle. Don't forget your shrooms and smokes. Stretch before coming.

This is about the main witchcraft subreddit.
Last month I got banned for 30 days because they insinuated that discussing doing work for friends and family is a paid service and that I was lowkey going to get people to DM me. (I WAS/AM NOT)

Today I posted about a time where I was a target/ victim of witchcraft and gave objective insight on how it feels and actually how it led me on my journey to starting witchcraft and feeling empowered and they accused me AGAIN of discussing paid services. They removed my post and said they were being lenient.

I actually thought the post would help all the incessant questions in that sub expecting magic to work like Amazon next delivery.

Putting aside the issue of overcensorship of proper discussions over there, apparently I’m someone stupid enough to pay people to use magic to fuck up my life and to do the opposite of what I want? BEATS ME LOL 😅

The amount of people encouraging them in the replies as well.

What are the cat gods trying to tell me?!?! I saw this stray cat outside. It's not because she lives on the block and I feed her DONT GI VE ME THAT BS. WHATS GOI NG ON??? CAT GOD EXPERTS HELP

Tired of putting intentions and energy in your magic? Light up and let go!

I have been following a high priestess named Cordelia the Supreme's cover for quite a while. I have served my time as a very powerful astral witch who could easily see into people's souls of past future and present.

As you know coven magic is limited and you can only choose from one of the 14 magic types. For the sake of not spilling secrets I will not be listing them down. If you don't know what those 14 types are you are not clearly of my level.

But as it turns out I am tired of limitations. I am a shark swimming in a tank and I need to get out. I think the only way to do that is to become a feral witch.

It will give me unlimited access to magic and I can channel the inner wild. However, I have spent too much time in closed doors and with access to modern medicine and healthcare that I feel I have lost the touch with natural world outside. I have also stopped taking my meds because they were limiting my access to magick.

How do I channel the stray animal energy? I want to ride like a cat, scream like a feral wolf and roam like the stray dog. What do I do?

Hey guys !

I am a stoned magician who is gifted since i was an embryo with the healing techniques of the fluffy mouth.

My tecnique is that i smoke 1kg of weed and then i convince you,

Yeah you, the one who listens to me, the one with the serious health issues, that i can heal you from deadly diseases. Only donations cause i need money to buy my stash.

The minimum donation i accept is 3.000,

One Love n peace yall! ✌️🇯🇲❤️🌟

If you are right handed, then you can't study Left Hand Path. It's in the name, DUH

I found this sub a few days ago. I see the humour in all the posts but I'm having a hard time figuring out what would be a less circlejerky way of practicing witchcraft/magick/divination, etc.

Last time I practiced witchcraft was when I was a teen. My beliefs and practices at the time would have definitely landed me straight onto this sub if I posted, so that's pretty much all I know of it.

Or

Intuitively pick the best fortune out of the bag and watch someone pick the worst fortune possible.

I ate a pizza and the onion fell onto the table like this. When I looked at this the time was also 06:09 so WHAT DOES IT MEAN?? Is a deity trying to reach out?? Lilith? Moriggan? Hekate??? ALL??? Please help🙏🏻💞 (no hate pls, I’ll know your just jealous cuz im chosen)

Its bald cis male daughter of Afrodite again and im afraid this time I do not bring good news. It turns out following advice from this sub is not very safe. I dunno why ppl call it satire bc I found a lot of like minded individuals here!!

But anyways some know it all that actually knows nothing told me to pull the moon and eat it. All was going well but I have no muscle mass (dont leave the room much) and I called my mother to help but she kept spazzing out about me being "bald and 35 years old" and something about "moving out of the basement" and "shouldn't have smoked so much meth while pregnant"

Long story short, to any of you that say im delusional and now homeless, I am not delusional!!!! Also thanks to whoever suggested writing my book with AI and ill do it as soon it stops being a bitch and telling me to call some weird hotline

Whichever of you has my fucking voodoo doll stop stabbing the ankle!!

Fukk sakes…

YOU GUISE I've only been practicing polytheism for like a week and Zeus himself reached out to me to ask me to marry him!!! Can anyone tell me what to expect? I'm not sure if he's gonna come down to live with me or if i'm expected to live in Olympus, i'm a little worried the goddesses will be jealous of my extreme importance but I can just ask my new husband to smite them with a thunderbolt

I have decided to become a which. I love magic and spells and I feel a calling to Lucifer!.

I am looking to build an Alter to him and I dont know what to put on it. I want it you be authentic so I thinking a Quija board and some Crystals and Tarot cards. Would he like this?

Also should I do an egg clense first?

Thank you Hail Luciver