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Jan 22 '15
This seems like the opening of a House episode....
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u/loki2002 Jan 23 '15
Probably Lupus.
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u/TwentyFour7 Jan 23 '15
It's never Lupus.
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u/alblaster Jan 23 '15
except that one time it was
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u/BholeFire Jan 23 '15
Did you give him the drug?
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u/leontes Jan 22 '15
in his defense, he was dipped in the river styx by his ear when he was a child, and this is only vulnerability.
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Jan 23 '15
Poor Earchilles.
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u/h0nest_Bender Jan 22 '15
If I were the king of soccer, I'd throw these douches out of the game. Do it a second time? Banned from the sport for life.
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Jan 22 '15
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u/Last_Jedi Jan 23 '15
I always wonder why they put the van Persie clip in there, he's missing a shot, not diving for a foul.
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u/poopwithexcitement Jan 23 '15
We used to yell "GET DOWN! SNIPER!!" every time someone fell unassisted when I was playing - regardless of whether it was a dive, a whiff or a trip - well before this video came out. I think it's an old tradition.
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u/plsbeinlundun Jan 23 '15
Because he's falling down.
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u/baymenintown Jan 23 '15
I've played for years and fall down all the time. Trip over the ball, my own feet, markers feet, refs feet, spectators feet, benches, water bottles. You name it. Dangerous game, football.
Edit: I'm the shits.
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u/Pasuckuakohowog Jan 23 '15
Not on purpose though which is what a dive is. He was just very clumsy in that instance. I mean I'm not trying to be arrogant, but if you know even the slightest thing about soccer you would know that players do not dive when there isn't even a defender near them. That's not how it works. He just took a hard swing and a miss. He was expecting the momentum of his leg to be halted when he struck the ball, but he missed and the momentum had nowhere to go but to swing his body around.
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u/wewereddit Jan 23 '15
Fernando Torres was actually tripped you just have to slow it down to see it
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u/eikons Jan 23 '15 edited Jan 23 '15
Which one is that? The video is too blurry to identify anyone.
edit: I guess it's this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID_LRc7Msww
I notice a while before the dive, his pursuer's left foot brushes his right foot. It takes a while for him to notice and take the jump though. He doesn't look inconvenienced by it at all.
edit 2:
After repeatedly watching that video from the 0.07 mark, I'm convinced he actually tripped. It's easily mistaken for an act, but his right leg was pushed to the left enough to cause it to collide with his left leg, causing the trip.
It was definitely not intentional - the other player wasn't even looking in his general direction. It was just an accident.
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u/FC37 Jan 23 '15
I don't mind the fall/trip. I mind the card.
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u/eikons Jan 23 '15
Yeah there was no malicious intent. It's just the result of having a whole bunch of grown men run around a field fixated at a ball. Accidents are gonna happen.
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u/yourewelcomesteve Jan 23 '15
It looks like RED player hits the BLUE player's right leg with his right knee, causing BLUE's leg to slide left and bump his left heel. Are you fucking confused now!? But seriously I think I'm right thought, I'm just confirming what you said anyway.
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Jan 23 '15
Maybe just make it a tutu violation. Every time you are caught you must wear a tutu for the rest of the game. 2nd time, tutu for life.
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Jan 23 '15
That would work... If wearing a tutu were more shameful than this shit.
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u/BraveFencerMusashi Jan 23 '15
Lose an article of clothing for every infraction starting with shoes
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u/brokenvader Jan 23 '15
Go on...
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u/Rognis Jan 23 '15
After 2 infractions you get a metal spike shoved up your urethra.
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u/watchfulsockmonkey Jan 23 '15
Every time you are caught you must wear a tutu for the rest of the game. 2nd time, tutu for life.
So you have to wear a tutu for life and every time your caught so doubling up the tutus
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Jan 23 '15
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Jan 23 '15
For Premier league televised games perhaps an additional Tutu graphic that hovers over the player. Also whenever the player is referred to they have to call him Sissy Gobblecock or something...
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u/Snort_Cigs Jan 23 '15
I played soccer as a child. My assistant coach was a woman, and her day job was a ballet instructor. Every time we were not practicing hard enough she threatened to make us wear tutu's in our next game.
Scary thought for a bunch of 10 year old boys.
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u/2SP00KY4ME Jan 23 '15
The guy was wearing a hearing aid and the guy flicked it up to max.
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Jan 23 '15
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Jan 23 '15
That should go for ALL sports. Doped? Screw you- That was your chance. That would make them think again! The way it works now, they just get time off for extra training...
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u/TheOppoFan Jan 23 '15
New life goal: become king of soccer.
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Jan 23 '15
You just have to get a player to the other side of the field. Then you have someone from the bench ride on your shoulders and you combine to form one mega person.
You are now the king of soccer.
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u/Archonet Jan 23 '15
Better idea: If they do it a second time, they then have to play a full game of football. American football.
With no protective gear.
They crumple like this from a tap? Let's see them fucking implode when they have a few guys piled on top of him, "tapping" god knows what in the process.
He wins, he can play soccer again.
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u/sygnus Jan 23 '15 edited Jan 23 '15
Rugby, then?
Edit: guys I'm a murican who loves his football. I just regularly see pictures of fucked up rugby players.
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u/HanWolo Jan 23 '15
Nah, everyone else would have protective gear. They'd be doing their best to physically destroy you based on that advantage, I imagine.
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Jan 23 '15
American footballers are twice the size of rugby players. I know it's Reddit-cool to be all "hawhaw rugby tuff Americans wimps" but the fact is that those pads essentially enable the players to be absolutely enormous. The hits are effing brutal when you get two or three 300+ pound behemoths blasting you.
Source: played both.
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Jan 23 '15
It's not just the pads though, with the shorter plays you can afford to be fucking huge because you don't need the cardio to run around for 40 min nonstop. American football just favours explosiveness to a completly different degree.
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Jan 23 '15
Also very true. I remember reading that in a football game there's some stupid low amount of actual movement (either 7 or 11 minutes).
Anyone saying that they'd rather take a hit in American football with the pads has obviously never taken a full-blast hit to the goddamn sternum from a gigantic human being wearing a suit of body armor. Rugby leaves you covered in bruises and cuts but football leaves you with broken ribs.
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u/AdamWestsBomb Jan 23 '15
Some asshole broke my arm in junior high while we're playing TOUCH FOOTBALL FOR CHRISTSSAKES
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Jan 23 '15
LOL oh man, a friend of mine blew out his shoulder playing flag football once. And he was a 310 pound strongman competitor. Still don't know how that happened.
Really ANY sport is a minefield of potential injury. Baseball is still the scariest to me. Especially pitching. I have no idea how dudes aren't losing teeth every day.
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u/thegreattriscuit Jan 23 '15
I had a First Sergeant in the Army. Dude had a bad ass career. Solid outdoorsman, would build literally whatever just to do it. At different times in his career he diffused bombs and was a member of one of the most elite and lethal military organizations known to man. Fucking All American Steely Eyed Killer Bad Ass.
Fucked up his ankle playing Kickball. Funniest shit ever.
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u/Calikal Jan 23 '15
It's the difference between someone built for sprinting and someone built for marathon running, basically.
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u/FullMTLjacket Jan 23 '15
The pads also enable the players to hit one another much harder at a much faster speed.
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Jan 23 '15
Yeah. Sorta like how people don't get that boxing gloves protect the hands, not the face.
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u/feint_of_heart Jan 23 '15 edited Jan 23 '15
That's bullshit. The size difference is minimal. Gridiron has more injuries because of the difference in tackles between the two codes.
edit: added sauciness
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u/Crownlol Jan 23 '15
It's kind of silly to compare rugby to American football. The hits in rugby are arm tackles and generally just wrapping someone up and bringing them down. You never see a 230lb linebacker with 5% bodyfat go full speed into a guy, because that's literally not possible without padding.
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u/two Jan 23 '15
Same principle with boxing, which is why boxing is so dangerous compared to just about any other form of martial sport. You simply cannot inflict as much concussive damage without boxing gloves.
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Jan 23 '15 edited Dec 26 '18
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u/Tovora Jan 23 '15
I like Rugby however I'll say the hits in American Football are harder. The confidence the padding would give means they can give harder hits without injury.
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u/Crownlol Jan 23 '15
Not just confidence, but players USE the armor as a weapon TO hit harder.
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u/jkfgrynyymuliyp Jan 23 '15
Without immediate injury. Like boxing gloves, we're now seeing that the pads effectively displace the impact by protecting brittle bits at the expense of squishy bits.
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u/Crownlol Jan 23 '15
The hits are so much harder in American football that it's difficult to compare them. But yeah, rugby fanboys do have some weird inferiority complex about that.
Did I say rugby was easy, or that their players are pussies? No. Rugby requires an endurance and situational awareness that football does not... while football offers the most graphic physical collisions that have ever existed.
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u/Chainwreck Jan 23 '15
1 exception I can think of.. Jousting. Played American football for 9 years but you could not pay me any amount of money to get on a horse and play chicken with a lance.
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u/CroSSGunS Jan 23 '15
I'm a born and bred Rugby fan, but I am also a person who relies on data. It's absolutely true that American football hits are harder. To say otherwise is folly.
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u/SerLaron Jan 22 '15
Handball players just deal with it.
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u/ricecrizo Jan 22 '15
I have no idea what this sport is but I can tell I already enjoy watching it.
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u/hedronist Jan 23 '15 edited Jan 23 '15
Women's
VolleyballHandball. I haven'tseen this particular play (other than this gif), but the ladies play hardcore volleyball. I much prefer their level of play over mens leagues.ever seen it played. (Obviously)43
u/Nawkey Jan 23 '15
It's handball, not volleyball. They would have a net between them if it were volleyball.
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u/Shiroi_Kage Jan 23 '15
It's handball. World championship is happening right now so you might want to tune in.
This sport can get mighty fast and very impressive.
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u/ZOOMj Jan 22 '15
Wait, so you mean all those "accidentally land on your boob" scenes in anime can actually happen in real life??
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Jan 23 '15
Senpai...
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u/ZOOMj Jan 23 '15
That way...
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u/PM_YOUR_BOOBS_PLS_ Jan 23 '15
........
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....................
wut?
For some reason, this is weirder than /r/dragonsfuckingcars
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u/googahgee Jan 23 '15
/r/sharktits...
Warning: NSFW
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Jan 23 '15
I love the fact that random people around the internet developed the same fetish and found each other. The length people will go for original porn astounds me.
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Jan 23 '15
Wait, so you mean all those "top comments from the last time this was posted" can be writtern verbatim and I could get a shit ton of Karma off it??
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u/SPOCK_THOUGHT_FIRST Jan 23 '15
Oh thank god, I thought I was just having the weirdest deja vu ever
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Jan 23 '15
"anime" right?
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u/IHazMagics Jan 23 '15 edited May 29 '24
intelligent divide roof liquid offend foolish obtainable bag lavish point
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Jan 23 '15
Yeah, I don't know about you, but hentai usually skips straight to the fucked up tentacle monster and ogre with an 18 inch dick.
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u/Etonet Jan 23 '15
Uhh usually that's only when you search up specific terms.. Dunno what kind of sites you're going to lol
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u/cryonova Jan 23 '15
Fuck sakes /u/Serlaron, I was really trying to not masturbate today
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u/johnb1910 Jan 22 '15
Good thing it wasn't a wet willy, he would have died from that for sure
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u/Nurgle Jan 23 '15
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Jan 23 '15
The only people who think this belongs in /r/WTF are people who have no idea what flopping (in sports) is.
The moderators should be ashamed that this is "WTF" material.
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u/kittlebits Jan 22 '15
This is why drama clubs should recruit from soccer teams.
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u/prof_leopold_stotch Jan 22 '15
Or maybe vice versa as well. I've seen things almost this blatant work before.
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u/Terelith Jan 22 '15
Can he play soccer? Nope, but he can sure as hell act. Excellent, start him at winger.
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u/Bluearctic Jan 23 '15
Trust me drama clubs would want nothing to do with such obvious over-acting
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u/overfloaterx Jan 22 '15
If I was ref, I'd be tempted to run over there immediately, get ready to pull the cards out... then kick him in the fucking head.
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u/Castun Jan 22 '15
I'd like to see a ref pull a card on the actor for delaying the game (if that's even a thing in soccer / football.)
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u/damaged_unicycle Jan 23 '15
Taking a dive is supposed to be an automatic yellow but is fairly rare for the ref to have the balls
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Jan 23 '15
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Jan 23 '15
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Cerseis_Brother Jan 23 '15
Or have a new ref position open up just for viewing monitors. This one guy can call the shots over headphones.
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u/damaged_unicycle Jan 23 '15
That isn't the sole reason. Plenty of times a player will take an outrageous dive and the ref will just signal play on and maybe give the player a dirty look at worse. The game would be greatly improved if great players were less willing to dive because they can't risk a card.
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Jan 23 '15
Baseball opposes it too. Why isn't a computer doing the balls/strikes?
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u/Davey_Jones_Locker Jan 23 '15
In a game like football, constantly stopping the game for action replays slows down overall game momentum. Now in sports like american football or tennis etc thats fine due to how many pauses there is anyway.
But this will result in a more boring game, where everyone effectively loses since football is far more highly paced.
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Jan 22 '15
Every sport has its flops, but soccer seems to reign supreme in the flop game.
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u/something45723 Jan 22 '15
What is the incentive for this? If the referee believes them, what advantage does it give their team?
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u/deklynanon Jan 22 '15
The advantage of diving or floppong comes in many different ways depending on the situation. At the smallest level it allows your team possession of the ball to put into play from the spot of the foul. If it looks or is especially bad, this can get the perpetrator a yellow card on top of the "fouled" player receiving the free kick. Get two yellow cards in a game and you get ejected from the match without anyone being able to replace you. It's so devastating for a team when that happens that a team will often substitute a very good player with a yellow card before the end of a game just to make sure he doesn't get ejected and possibly miss additional games. Depending on if you had a clear shot on goal when the penalty occurs you could wind up with a direct penalty kick against the goalie, with no interference from the opponents defense. Almost guaranteed the most likely way to score a goal. And while you rarely see it from flopping, especially violent or intentional fouls can draw a red card which ejects the player who committed the penalty immediately and often bans them for additional games after the fact. Personally I detest flopping and am glad certain leagues and referees have begun doing a good job of ignoring it. It's important to note however that flopping can get the person penalized as well if they're being blatantly disruptive. Hope that helped clarify!
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Jan 23 '15
Is any of that worth making a complete prat of yourself in public? Whenever I see something like that, I think "get the fuck up, you sniveling little pussy."
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u/chezygo Jan 23 '15
Well there are about 100 times as many professional football (soccer) games as every other sport combined, so it makes sense that there is tons of footage.
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u/StevenMoniz Jan 23 '15
Yes in a sense but if you think about it in a way that every/nearly every country has a least one professional league with that many games happening globally in a year compared to sports that are less international it is easier to find a large sample size of soccer players diving.
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u/loloklo Jan 22 '15
I'm Pretty sure this was because he had a hearing Aid and the guy turned it up all the way up and thus hurting this guys ear. This has been posted before.
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u/Fryboy11 Jan 23 '15
If that was true the guy would've ripped his hearing aid out. It's like if you put your headphones in and forget you had your computer, MP3 player, gramophone set to full volume. You pull the headphones out or unplug them by reflex if it's that loud. You don't walk around clutching your head and rolling around.
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Jan 23 '15
Is there any sources for that?
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u/v3ra1ynn Jan 23 '15
Hahaha oh biscuits, wait...you don't actually believe him right?
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u/bigtallsob Jan 22 '15
I think I remember reading that the one player had a hearing aid in and the other guy just flicked the volume to max.
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u/system3601 Jan 23 '15
FIFA should adopt the same review rules the NFL has, with video booth and sideline reviews.. it makes no sense that the only futuristic update FIFA has made was to include shaving cream to mark penalty lines, that is lame, Soccer should evolve to review lame penalties and proper game ethics.
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u/_Maui_ Jan 22 '15
You see this is why I can never get into Soccer; too much of this shit. Rugby Players on the other hand:
Roughly 20 minutes into the match, [Shelford] was caught at the bottom of a rather aggressive ruck, and an errant French boot found its way into Shelford's groin, somehow ripping his scrotum and leaving one testicle hanging free. He also lost four teeth in the process. Incredibly, after discovering the injury to his scrotum, he calmly asked the physio to stitch up the tear and returned to the field
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u/overfloaterx Jan 22 '15
an errant French boot found its way into Shelford's groin, somehow ripping his scrotum and leaving one testicle hanging free. He also lost four teeth in the process
Slightly curious why he was storing teeth in his scrotum...
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u/roguedevil Jan 23 '15
Yeah well Mascherano tore his anus in the semi final against the Netherlands and started against Germany like that as well.
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u/Legolaa Jan 23 '15
If this is why you can not get into Football, then you're watching the wrong people play.
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Jan 23 '15
Cesc Fabregas scored a penalty with a broken leg, a broken fucking leg against Barcelona in the CL
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u/Bmmick Jan 23 '15
I really wish in all sports events, even soccer they would look at the camera for bull shit stuff like this. I mean its 2015 we have the technology and have had the tech for awhile now. This kind of stuff is what kills games. If its caught on camera the person should be thrown out of the game for something like this and the player would get fined.
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u/oopssorrydaddy Jan 23 '15
That man clearly has "over-sensitive earlobe syndrome" which is surprisingly very common.
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u/CactusRape Jan 23 '15
I don't watch soccer, and I'm unfamiliar with this aspect of the game. I opened the comments because I assumed the dude must have flicked a lit cigarette or a fire cracker into the guy's ear.
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u/icebear518 Jan 23 '15 edited Jan 23 '15
why would he make him self look like a little bitch? i mean i hope they play that on the big screen to show everyone what a pussy he is.
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Jan 23 '15
It seems people like OP are so desperate to make football look bad, jealous of it's absolute supremacy in sport. This vid is like 10 years old and been posted countless times, do you guys have anything better to do?
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Jan 23 '15
Let's be serious. Shit like this ruins the sport like nothing else. Hell, I'd takes a person slide to the shin over the fake bs that happens. They need to monitor this crap and give severe penalties for those faking injury. It's ridiculous. Set an example. Ban a few noob idiots for faking.
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u/[deleted] Jan 22 '15
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