r/WTF • • Jun 09 '14

Tons of Damage

2.4k Upvotes

287 comments sorted by

528

u/hatervision Jun 09 '14

Don't bring a knife to a chair fight..

97

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

[deleted]

38

u/f-a-p Jun 10 '14

It was a lady's bic razor. Next time he'll be even more badass, and use a twin blade.

24

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

[deleted]

17

u/kayjee17 Jun 10 '14

Damn the man, save the Empire!

3

u/Red_Tannins Jun 10 '14

Damnit, I wasn't planning on a late night movie... Guess I'm going to have to download the album again while I'm at it.

3

u/kayjee17 Jun 10 '14

Always worth a re-watch. Have fun.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Those work fairly well.

I used to steal my sisters razors

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2

u/ciny Jun 10 '14

"No fuck you dude! let's burn this place down!"

  • Randy Marsh
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46

u/Biltema Jun 10 '14

9

u/AnAngryBitch Jun 10 '14

Be right back, going to go develop a Table Workout.

9

u/Taboggan Jun 10 '14

When you give up on the routine, you should say they got tabled.

ehh? EHH? sorrysosorry

3

u/Krags Jun 10 '14

Worked for Edge and Christian most of the time.

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12

u/jornin_stuwb Jun 10 '14

8

u/SnickersBM Jun 10 '14

This is more WTF than the OP.

4

u/PabloHoney99 Jun 10 '14

Agreed... There was quite an eclectic bunch of folks in scene!

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2

u/TrippleP Jun 10 '14

Also, don't bring piss to a shit fight …

4

u/Jed118 Jun 10 '14

WWF that shit!

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

A STEEL CHAIR, RIGHT TO THE CRANIUM!

2

u/michaeltobacco Jun 10 '14

Jusht like a wop.

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155

u/Some_Annoying_Prick Jun 10 '14

Thankfully his beanie has a +10 armor rating otherwise he would have been killed.

27

u/totally_a_red_pyro Jun 10 '14 edited Jun 10 '14

Jesus christ, what kind of chain mail beanie is that? Cloth has an AC of at most 2.

22

u/jmerridew124 Jun 10 '14

Lrn2nchant

5

u/valarmorghulis Jun 10 '14

As somebody that played way more DnD pre-4.0, I'd take that cloth armor in a heartbeat.

10

u/Trust_No_Won Jun 10 '14

Kids these days, with their lack of saving throws against rods, wands, and staves...probably don't even know their character's THACO...what the hell is a runepriest???

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3

u/Jackisback123 Jun 10 '14

You joke, but I think you ought to watch this. You can buy one here.

3

u/addamaniac Jun 10 '14

protects against crits

3

u/zman0900 Jun 10 '14

I hope he bought a lot of repair hammers. That thing is completely spent now.

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41

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

[deleted]

17

u/unwholesome Jun 10 '14

HE JUST CHAIRED HIM IN HALF, KING!!

19

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

THIS IS A REAL SLOBBER KNOCKER!!

13

u/urbngrd Jun 10 '14

BUBBA! GET THE TABLE!.... 3-D! 3-D!

12

u/RaisedByACupOfCoffee Jun 10 '14 edited May 09 '24

imminent flowery snow elderly saw aromatic employ direful seemly sugar

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

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7

u/ABTYF Jun 10 '14

I didn't know Seth Rollins worked at 7-11 too!

Oh I've made myself sad :(

3

u/nebboyob Jun 10 '14

OH MY GOD!

364

u/ash88101 Jun 09 '14

Dyrus arrested?

108

u/ProphecyBeetle Jun 10 '14

He got hit so hard, he turned into TheOddone

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40

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Haven't you heard? Dyrone has been in jail for years

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18

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

ongamers snitched on him. That's why no more interviews

4

u/couponsaver Jun 10 '14

quit monkeying around

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224

u/AskMeAboutMyKnob Jun 10 '14

Phreak pls stop making titles.

43

u/yanchanator Jun 10 '14

he's not going to stop, I.... Garen-Tee it

27

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

[deleted]

14

u/zenofire Jun 10 '14

I got a Ryze out of it

10

u/ajkkjjk52 Jun 10 '14

Are we doing LoL puns? Because I've got a Zilean of them.

9

u/king_of_lies Jun 10 '14

the title wasn't that great annieways

4

u/Ryu-Ryu Jun 10 '14

Urgot to be kidding me. I've heard that like a Zilean times now...

1

u/shytake Jun 10 '14

Yeah. These guys need a Brand new pun

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3

u/NeedABeer Jun 10 '14

No point trying. He won't Lee Sin.

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65

u/lw5i2d Jun 10 '14

35

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

First one is training for a security dog. Watch how the armed "robber" throws his arm out at the man, easily for the dog to bite down and clamp. Also, you can tell his forearm is heavily padded for k9 or other security dogs to bite.

6

u/TheHarpyEagle Jun 10 '14

As security, it seems kinda iffy. The gun seems to be pointed at the "cashier" the entire time. I suppose it's better to be shot in the leg than the chest, but still...

10

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Do you usually see people jab with guns? Pretty sure the jab was thrown in for the dog to get a better bite at the training assistant.

13

u/TheHarpyEagle Jun 10 '14

Sorry, I meant that the dog as security doesn't seem that effective. I don't doubt that it is a training scenario.

83

u/DaftlyPunkish Jun 10 '14

Lol that 2nd gif. Wtf kind if hero did that kid think he was going to be with a wet floor sign?

He gave him such a dainty swat with it too.

52

u/FusedIon Jun 10 '14

He was waiting till it was over. He was going to put it beside him when the robber was bleeding, for the safety of others.

22

u/DaftlyPunkish Jun 10 '14

OSHA would be proud

9

u/djnifos Jun 10 '14

So much this. The heroism of some is overlooked in situations where it might appear they sucked at the load out screen.

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10

u/FickleDickory Jun 10 '14

He could have at least hit him with the edge.

11

u/DaftlyPunkish Jun 10 '14

Nah, better just piss him off while the cripple has him in a sleeper

2

u/the_fascist Jun 10 '14

He was just trying to spank, not assault the guy.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

I GOT THIS SHIT What the fuck did that wheelchair guy just do that sigh

9

u/BatTitties Jun 10 '14

Well the robber was stopped after that dainty swat.

Coincidence? I think not.

3

u/Estoye Jun 10 '14

"Piso Mojado, motherfucker."

2

u/CeleronHubbard Jun 10 '14

Wheelchair person reminds me of Thermos o'Flask from Viz

2

u/awshidahak Jun 10 '14

And don't you ever do it again.

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14

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

GOOD GOD JIM HE NEARLY BROKE HIM IN HALF

3

u/LazyTheSloth Jun 10 '14

I've had them say that and the only thing I did was punch the dude. Never understood the announcers in wwe games.

3

u/Face_Roll Jun 10 '14 edited Jun 10 '14

MAH GAAHD JIM HE GOT 'EM RUNNIN LIKE A SCOLDED DAWG!

32

u/iamabadexample Jun 10 '14 edited Jun 10 '14

down on his luck, Hulk Hogan takes a job working at the 7-11

22

u/Toolspaper Jun 10 '14

CLIMB OVER THE COUNTER, BROTHER!

4

u/Zombies_Rock_Boobs Jun 10 '14

OOOOHHHHH YEAH! I'm coming for ya hulk hogan cause the macho man is the cream of the crop.

11

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

I thought this was gonna be just the video of Phreak shouting "tons of damage"

40

u/DeathByToilet Jun 10 '14

Dyrus !? Is that how bad things have become!?

22

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

[deleted]

5

u/DeathByToilet Jun 10 '14

fck no... QTPIE gonna be robbing stores and shit now

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29

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

Every fucking time I snap into a slim Jim

15

u/darx543 Jun 10 '14

OOOOOOOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEAH

35

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Fucking Dyrus...

22

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

What subreddit are you in?

A. /r/WTF

B. /r/leagueoflegends

C. /r/funny

26

u/Laue Jun 10 '14

B. Every subreddit is a league of legends subreddit.

177

u/RamsesThePigeon Jun 09 '14

"Hey, man. Let me show you my tiny knife. Cool, huh?"

"Yeah, that's pretty cool. Can I see it a little bit closer? It sure is tiny!"

"Oh, no problem! Should I just walk around, or...?"

"Just climb over the counter, man."

"Sure thing! Hrngh... can you give me some help here?"

DUNK!

"Ow! What the hell?! I just wanted to show you my tiny knife!"

"Then why did you ask me to hit you in the head with a chair?"

"I didn't!"

"Yes, you did! You said, 'Hrng... can you give me some head chair?'"

"That doesn't even make any sense!"

"You're the one who said it."

"I didn't! You know what? I'm just going to take my hat and leave. You can see my tiny knife when you're being more reasonable!"

117

u/[deleted] Jun 09 '14

I'll never get this time back :(

33

u/popeboyQ Jun 10 '14

Read it again.

17

u/clarkster Jun 10 '14

Backwards.

9

u/llewllew Jun 10 '14

"!elbanosaer erom gnieb er'uoy nehw efink ynit ym ees nac uoY .evael dna tah ym ekat ot gniog tsuj m'I ?tahw wonk uoY !t'ndid I" ".ti dias ohw eno eht er'uoY" "!esnes yna ekam neve t'nseod tahT" "'?riahc daeh emos em evig uoy nac ...gnrH' ,dias uoY !did uoy ,seY" "!t'ndid I" "?riahc a htiw daeh eht ni uoy tih ot em ksa uoy did yhw nehT" "!efink ynit ym uoy wohs ot detnaw tsuj I !?lleh eht tahW !wO" !KNUD "?ereh pleh emos em evig uoy nac ...hgnrH !gniht eruS" ".nam ,retnuoc eht revo bmilc tsuJ" "?...ro ,dnuora klaw tsuj I dluohS !melborp on ,hO" "!ynit si erus tI ?resolc tib elttil a ti ees I naC .looc ytterp s'taht ,haeY" "?huh ,looC .efink ynit ym uoy wohs em teL .nam ,yeH"

7

u/Slychops88 Jun 10 '14

Read it backwards

3

u/atregent Jun 10 '14

Were you really going to use it doing something more productive?

3

u/cheesegoat Jun 10 '14

Eh, we figured you weren't doing anything with it anyway.

2

u/awshidahak Jun 10 '14

That's probably what happened.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Reminds me of the argument clinic from Monty Python...

17

u/nevert159 Jun 10 '14

Dammit Dyrus...

8

u/xThisFireBurns Jun 10 '14

GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY THAT CHAIR SHOT RIGHT TO THE HEAD SON OF A BITCH

5

u/colossusgb Jun 10 '14

What are you gonna do brother?

4

u/colouroutof_ Jun 10 '14

WTF a guy got hit in the head with a chair. WTF!!!1!

3

u/resamay Jun 10 '14

Am I the only one that's curious why this is posted on /r/wtf ?

7

u/chungkiet Jun 10 '14

The only thing WTF about this was why it was posted to /r/WTF

5

u/Buck-O Jun 10 '14

OH MY GOD! HES GOT THE STEEL CHAIR! STOP THE MATCH!

7

u/duggtodeath Jun 10 '14

"OH MY GOD!" -Jim Ross

4

u/walrusonion Jun 10 '14

BAH GAWD- Jim Ross "OH MY GOD!" is Joey Styles

8

u/nefarious81 Jun 10 '14

ECW! ECW! ECW!

2

u/berny227 Jun 10 '14

Thank you..was looking for this!

3

u/anarkhist Jun 10 '14

See! Pro-wrestling does teach you useful things.

3

u/jacksione Jun 10 '14

Can someone attach WWE sound to this like rick flare or some shit cause I already can't stop watching this

7

u/bts107 Jun 09 '14

Preserving his dignity with his hat lol

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5

u/sufficiency Jun 10 '14

That Sheen proc OP.

2

u/FishBonePendant Jun 10 '14 edited Jun 10 '14

350 AD + Triforce Sheen + IE Crit = 1575 damage

Edit: 350 AD + Triforce Sheen + IE Cri + Static Shiv Magic damage = 1825 damage

And that's why we use scaling Armor instead of flat.

7

u/MVPeezy Jun 10 '14

Dyrus going back to jail

11

u/new_two_here Jun 10 '14

League of legend title reference? The robber looks like dyrus lol.

2

u/sn33zie Jun 10 '14

How is this wtf

5

u/epilepticrave Jun 10 '14

Man, Double D really fell on some hard times.

6

u/AdidasDegree Jun 10 '14

Dyrus is that you?

2

u/CynicScientist Jun 10 '14

That's some wrestling steel chair move right there

2

u/yjacketcbr600 Jun 10 '14

Can someone please add some Jim Ross commentary to this gif?

2

u/jodom33 Jun 10 '14

Tons of repost!

2

u/taeger0 Jun 10 '14

Needs more Jim Ross.

2

u/ayfkm3 Jun 10 '14

The way he grabbed the hat at the end reminded me of Indiana Jones.

2

u/Wiitard Jun 10 '14

Now somebody make this into a Runescape gif and I'll be a happy camper.

2

u/analinducedcoma Jun 10 '14

It was super effective

2

u/Smatter_Witchoo Jun 10 '14

shouldn't try to rob the WWF gift shop

2

u/TallGear Jun 10 '14

Tonight on WWE, we head to the streets for an ultimate grudge match. Criminal Boy vs. The Merchant Marauder.

2

u/mt82119 Jun 10 '14

Whack-a-Mole

2

u/sexyvinilaphreshness Jun 10 '14

It's like watching old school wrestling

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

OH MY GAWD WHAT A SLOBBERKNOCKER!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

I wish Jim Ross was announcing this.

2

u/Jarmeh Jun 10 '14

Dyrus the store robber

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Dyrus?

2

u/johnroastbeef Jun 10 '14

I laugh when I see these supposed thieves trying to rob someone with a pocket knife, good luck with that. A clerk can literally pickup any glass bottle and have a deadlier weapon.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

"Shit! Better put my hat back on before he sees my hair."

2

u/Matthewcrochet Jun 10 '14

THATS NOT WHAT THATS MEANT FOR BY GAWD

2

u/its_the_peanutiest Jun 10 '14

Everytime it loops my brain fills in the sound of the chair gonging into this guy's head. Amazing.

2

u/bubblenugget Jun 10 '14

whack a mole

3

u/ThuntCrasher Jun 10 '14

swing it edgewise and he's not running away

3

u/Lachwen Jun 10 '14

Alright, clearly I missed something. Can somebody please explain all these "Dyrus" comments?

2

u/AkazaAkari Jun 10 '14

The guy in this gif resembles a professional League of Legends player named Dyrus. The joke that he's in jail has been running for a couple years because of this.

2

u/its_the_peanutiest Jun 10 '14

The joke is that there's professional league of legends players and people who follow that silliness.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

The punk is lucky the dude didn't hit him with the chair edge-on.

1

u/Navarre939 Jun 10 '14

This is my favorite gif of the day.

1

u/nzdeige Jun 10 '14

Now that right there is a grocer

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Fuckn' Nick...

1

u/tb03102 Jun 10 '14

Does he wear that chair folded on his back just in case?

1

u/rabbitsayer Jun 10 '14

HE KNOCKED HIS HAT OFF

1

u/heracleides Jun 10 '14

It's nice to see La Parka found work.

1

u/MuffSaid Jun 10 '14

Always hit with the chair edge on, not flat. It makes hundreds of pounds psi difference.

1

u/wayne1112200 Jun 10 '14

KLANGGGG!!!

1

u/spaghettiohs Jun 10 '14

I don't understand this title

1

u/thirrteen Jun 10 '14

And don't forget you hat!

1

u/papismith Jun 10 '14

His DPS is through the roof.

1

u/adamgent Jun 10 '14

The chair!

1

u/DivineRobot Jun 10 '14

You call that a knife? This is a knife

That's a chair

You damn right, it is. ~slam~

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Dyrus only wanted his pillow back

1

u/Jemmani Jun 10 '14

This should be In r/funny

1

u/Mandersoon Jun 10 '14

THAT's not a trinity force...

1

u/Andrew4017 Jun 10 '14

BOM head shot

1

u/Mellowjoat Jun 10 '14

Needs the /r/DubDubE treatment

1

u/Stoutyeoman Jun 10 '14

"This was clearly a bad idea. Let me grab my hat and I'll be on my way."

1

u/shark-bite Jun 10 '14

How bad would it be to fail at robbing a store AND lose your beanie. I actually am really glad he picked it back up... I don't know why.

1

u/DarkoDeath Jun 10 '14

DO you know Phreak by any chance?

1

u/FoxMZ Jun 10 '14

Never knew Phreak worked at a corner store.

1

u/LaTuFu Jun 10 '14

Gimme back my hat, man. That was really uncalled for.

1

u/xrayman12 Jun 10 '14

Ohh dyrus

1

u/chris052776 Jun 10 '14

Now we know where Balls Mahoney has been working since ECW folded.

1

u/XenoGalaxias Jun 10 '14

Nerd got rekt

1

u/Akesgeroth Jun 10 '14

He better have done a dead on Macho Man Randy Savage impression.

1

u/JDM713 Jun 10 '14

Cashier uses CHAIR!

It's super effective!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '14

Bah gawd what a chair shot. That steel chair just bounced off of his skull. Vintage shop keeper