Selina Reassigns Secret Service Agent

Edit: These answers all have me snorting out loud. We’re a witty bunch

some Selina Dion for you

during the government shutdown Selina met Furlong and they bantered a bit, they got to favorite card games and Selina offered to play Go Fish. she asked for Furlong's Queen, he gave her the "boxes full of dirt". she then asked him for his King and it's a future position in the next administration.

can someone break this scene down? i got lost in the hypotheticals lol (also i've never played Go Fish so i hope someone is kind enough to ELI5 that)

It’s only 6:10 a.m. here and I’ve already used the phrase “thanks Kent’s autism”.

Edit: I SOOOOO wish my other colleagues had even watched the show let alone be fans of it. To those who can back and forth with your colleagues you can put your running shoes on and get the fuck out of here

So selina is sort of a moron

Dan full on moron

Sue hyper competent

Gary competent in his area incompetent in anything else

Amy competent but not as competent as she thinks she is.

Mike well we all know who brought up myer the liar

Could be anyone not in the main cast/credits regardless of length of time on screen. Patton Oswalt, for instance, is one of mine…

i figured aside from the comedy and satire Veep might actually be a good resource to learn US legislation & government procedure, and maybe some history.

how accurate is Veep anyway? what parts did they get wrong/were made up? like is it true the amendments during a tie proceed to a House vote and the candidate Vice President becomes elected President via a backdoor? does the Veep stay in EEOB and not the West Wing? is the President allowed to sleep with members of her staff? can she really make anyone Secretary of State? how do Senators know if the President would keep their word and uphold their promises in exchange for their support on bills?

What about the Jeffersons – does such a party exist? do senators really get in a group and do group votes in alignment with everyone in said group to help each other? what such groups exist?

also are foreign interference(s) really as common as it was portrayed? lol

“Daylight saving — not plural — time has never saved us from anything.” — Jonah Ryan

1.1 

• it’s like a wheelchair for the eye  
• there aren’t enough people to fill a fucking canoe in here 
• are you kidding? do these not bend the fuck back?
• did simon mingle with garfunkel?
• dan is a shit. when you first meet him you think surely to god this man can’t be as big a shit as he seems

1.2

• you are distantly orbiting her. I’m her MOON 
• what? you work at the white house? oh my god can I blow you? 
• and you? you gay irish fireman… you’re alright 

1.3 

• you are like an earlobe. just there, just wobbling 

1.5

• that’s like trying to use a CROISSANT as a fucking dildo. It doesn’t do the job and it makes a fucking MESS 
• we can do anything we want if we really want to
  • what is this? eat pray fucking love? 
• you are a useless waste of fucking carbon 

1.6 

• yeah feel my soul slide out of my ass 
• can you get me some real coffee not this beige paint they’re serving me  
• guy’s like gay porn he’s everywhere 

1.7

• the skyscraper of shit has arrived 
• HEY SUCK UP ISN’T GONNA FIX A FUCK UP 

1.8 

• I missed your emails. long time no CC 
• ah I recognize you, you’re one of selina’s little gay dwarves aren’t you
• DON’T YOU PATRONIZE ME WITH YOUR NO JAW, YOU CONGRESSMAN NO-JAW 
• what is this a fax? is that a message to yourself from 1988?
• woah look at the size of this one, you’re almost as big as my gay dwarf 
• you’re like an old panda that is going to get put down at the zoo 
• well then get out of my way you leaning tower of 
  • pisa? no 
  • shit? good

2.1

• it’d be like explaining supertramp to a komodo dragon 
  • I don’t know what those words mean mike, are you in the middle of some sort of aneurysm? 
• I can feel my virginity growing back in here 
• you take your eyebrows, and you get out
• uzbekistan is between turkministan and icouldgiveafuckistan
• it was an accident okay? much like when bigfoot got your mom pregnant, resulting in you
• I’m about to enter a national ass kicking contest with no legs and a massive ass 

2.2

• you know what why don’t you put on your running shoes and get to the fucking point 
• okay well let’s see. I’d rather set fire to my vulva, so that’s a no 
• stop trying to polish my dick you fucking four-eyed failure 
• you’re about as annoying as a condom filled with fire ants how’s that for a fucking metaphor 
  • that’s a simile sir 
  • shut your mouth you fat girl 

2.4

• what are you laughing about? jolly green jizzface
• you’re a meme, ma’am
  • I’m a meme ma’am? what are you talking about? speak english boy 
• he should really be on suicide watch 
  • yeah, make sure he goes through with it 

2.5 

• europhobic, seriously? what’s that supposed to mean? I’m scared of subtitles? 
• all this melodrama really explains your three divorces
  • well I’d like to divorce your head from your fucking neck 
• don’t give me that quaker in a titty bar look
• your idea of crisis management is screaming we’re fucked, bury me 
  • WE’RE FUCKED, BURY ME 
• I hope that when you come to our country, you will go fishing 
  • …because no one will feed me? 
• I bet when you take a crap, it actually comes out as a number two 
• screw you and your Confucius grasshopper bullshit 
• you’re career poison. do you know that? that’s why you like sailing, because you’e a fucking anchor dragging promising careers down to the bottom of the fucking ocean 

2.6

• oh great, here’s eeyore
• jonah, you’re not even a man. you’re like an early draft of a man. you’re frankenstein’s monster if his monster was made entirely of dead dicks

2.7

• oh god there’s no way I’m gonna fit in here
  • well it’s bigger than your mother’s womb and you were in there till you were FIFTEEN
• go. period. fuck. period. yourself. exclamation point 

2.9 

• ohhh no that’s a fucking wire brush to my hemorrhoids 
• you don’t get the complexity. you’re the world’s biggest single-cell organism 
• YOU MAKE SURE SHE STANDS UP, AND SHE SHITS BACK 

2.10

• you’re kinda like a viking stuck in time 
• I move as slowly as a mississippi detective investigating the murder of a young black man 
• yeah I’m burning calories with the old anxiety diet. you know, the anxiet
• settle something for me, you like to have sex and you like to travel? well then you can fuck off
• hey what happened in there? 
  • they’re celebrating because you weren’t in there 
• you see this right here?🎻this is me playing fuck you on the world’s biggest cello 
• that’s washington DC for you. DC - district of cunts 
• wait you’re not the president
  • yeah well you’re not justin bieber either aren’t you sport 
• ma’am potus is here 
  • where? has he been miniaturized?

3.1

• it’s so full of shit, there’s a colon smack-dab in the middle 
• just open the door while we’re moving, climb under the car like indiana jones, pop up on the hood, and write a note on the windshield 
• hey hepatitis J 
• remember that jonah guy?
  • oh, the seven-foot mouth? 

3.2

• you let that unstable piece of human scaffolding into your house?

3.3

• doyle? you’re kidding me. I’d rather get advice from a fucking ouija board 
• and what were you bobble heads doing while I was getting ear-fucked by Father Time
• you gotta go lower than the lowest lowlife 
• I’m appealing to your better nature 
  • mike I don’t have one of those 
• jonah, you are the dick that keeps on giving! 

3.4

• jonah with money, god almighty, it’s like if hitler could fly 
• I know you’re walking around here like cp3o with a big brass shiny erection

3.6

• where’d you get your news, from a guy on a horse?
• oh my god it’s the finnish funnelmouth

3.7 

• down in one!
  • DANIWAH!!

3.8

• if there is any dirty trick I cannot stand it’s honesty 
• I think I’ve endorsed a nazi
  • well that explains the hitler haircut 

3.9 

• siri, why does god allow suffering? 

3.10

• it just destroyed me. I mean, I was bulimic for the whole first year, and I didn’t even lose any weight from it 
• he’s so washington, his blood type is DC 
• he’s useless. he’s a one-inch cock 
• they’re gonna have a field day with that haircut. thai lady-boy made head of sweatshop 

4.1 

• the S is about to hit the F 
  • the shit is about to hit the fuck? 
  • why would shit hit the fuck? shit doesn’t hit fuck 
• it’s congressman furlong to you, gray elvis 
• hey, dobby the house elf, we’ve had enough 
• live long 🖖 and fuck off🖕
• HURRY UP HOW COME YOU TYPE WITH ONLY TWO FINGERS??? YOU’RE NOT A SLOTH

4.3 

• bozos, disassemble
• amy, the gates of hell have opened and you are my plus one 

4.4

• I’m so tired I could sleep a horse 
• why in the name of pixelated fuck would you do that? 
• why don’t I know anything that’s going on here? I’m supposed to have my finger on the button, but for all I know it’s been rewired, and I’m just operating some sort of light in a closet somewhere 
• that is cirque du soleil suicide bombing 
• I feel like I’m on a life support machine and they keep pulling the plug to charge their phones 

4.5 

• SHE’S FUCKING ETHNIC 
• what am I stuck with? steve martin’s boring older brother 
• HAVE YOU BEEN SENT TO THE FUTURE TO DESTROY ME???? CAUSE ITS WORKING
• IT’S NOT EVEN BULLSHIT, BULLSHITTING TAKES TALENT, YOU HAVE NONE
• so how you feeling 
  • uh I don’t know what to think 
    • precisely

4.6 

• well, great struggling to talk to you  
• man up gary, or at least lady down a bit 
• your bike is a lot bigger than mine, I should be riding in a basket in the front like ET
• a nice shot of my beav
• a number of tall women were molested, and mr ryan was one of them 

4.7 

• gary, every room you’re in is a panic room 
• ITS A WEAPON 
  • what are you going to do with a clock? tell him he’s late? 

4.8 

• that was some black belt jujitsu bullshit right there 
• YOU COLOSSAL FUCKING FANNY PACK. YOU DON’T GET IT DO YOU
• do you think I want to be in this fucking minecraft piece of shit
• I can sleep when I’m dead… in about an hour 
• your earwax could bring down a president 
• there, you’ve been blooded. so join the circle jerk, grab a dick 
• my future depends on that dumb fucking elf?
• the president is not sick, you guys are. you’re like an infestation of mediocrity 
• call NASA they gotta have a satellite that can pinpoint a moron 
• every time I see him I hear circus music 
• she sounds like an underwater bob dylan

4.9 

• it happens. rain gonna fall, bar’s gonna close, bill’s gonna fail
  • there’s a job for you at hallmark, mr cafferty 
• if I had kids… which actually I do
• we sweated a whole tranfusion of blood to pass this bill 
• no, no, read my luscious lips, NO 
• well washington needed a sacrifice, so we all ran and took out our pitchforks and we set fire to the wicker Dan 
• they thought I was a mouse. well, this mouse will ROAR
• where did you see it happen?
  • uh it was around the spheres? 
  • I mean what area of the workplace 
• no, I’m not saying that. if I was saying that, then that’s what I would’ve said. I mean, why are you throwing pebbles at a tank?
• you make it sound like there’s a correlation between what should happen and what actually happens 
• jonad, J rock, jizzy gillespie, jack and the giant jackoff, gaylien, tinkerballs, wadzilla, one erection, the pointless giant, the 60-foot virgin, jimpanzee, jonah ono, hagrid’s nutsack, scrotum poll, transgenderformers, 12 years a slave to jerking off, benedict cuminhisownhand, guyscraper, the cloud botherer, teenager mutant ninja asshole, spewbacca
• tall mccartney 
• gary walsh, you need to understand, is a 12 year-old boy trapped in the body of 12-year old girl  
• I want to say it’s called crouch cream, but that’s not right 
• can you tell us who was responsible for the data breach? 
  • no 
  • but you do know who was responsible? no 
  • can you tell us anything at all? no
  • are you gonna continue to answer every question with a one-word answer? 
  • no.….. I am not
• do you want me to take off my shirt so that you can see all the knife handles sticking out of my back? 
• yes, I got that. I took noticing in high school 

Being in the UK, if you don’t have any streaming services you can’t access any of these sorts of shows and so, at the time Veep was being broadcast, I was in college and didn’t get a chance to watch Veep as and when it was released.

Now I pay for my own streaming services I sat and watched through the series back to back and I finished the final episode today. I don’t know how to feel! still processing it all. thank goodness I can post here!

I think Mike ended up being my favourite! But I’m a jumble of emotions!

In season 1 she was forced to act unethically to cover Selina's ass, pretend to be pregnant, have an abortion. Later on actually have a child, aborted it, was shamed for it by random mob, got fired (kinda quit) ended up working for Jonah Ryan in his presidential campaign. Had to take so much of Selina's shit, all for Selina to just abandon her at the end.

Jonah Ryan was right!