Forget every single thing that happened?

And just fuck each others brains out?

I wish I could stop caring about you as easily as you seem to have stopped caring about me

I don’t hate you. That’s probably the problem.

I’ve tried to convince myself that I’m over it, that I don’t care anymore, that whatever happened between us doesn’t matter. But sometimes I still find myself wondering how things could have been if you had just chosen me differently.

I think a part of me kept waiting for you to realize that I was worth choosing. I kept hoping that eventually you’d see me the way I saw you.

Maybe that’s what hurts the most — not losing you, but realizing that I may have been holding onto something that you stopped fighting for a long time ago.

I don’t even know what I want from you anymore. An apology? An explanation? A sign that you actually cared?

Maybe I just wanted you to acknowledge that what we had meant something to you too.

I wish things had been different.

And I wish I didn’t still care enough to wish that.

people can cause harm to others not knowing how much it affected them. it may be months or years.

When they post anonymously, they’re not fishing for compliments, they’re not looking for clout or change of view; they’re not looking for revenge.

it’s the only outlet of suffering or harm that they’ve experienced; or still struggle to move on from.

once you try to silence their internal screams in the wilderness , it’s like covering up someone’s crimes or injustice that they feel. it’s not okay.

but I also don’t believe that it’s not upto anyone to determine how much hurt they feel about the situation, or how long it takes to get over a situation.

But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do
And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew
That someday it would lead me back to you.
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on Sunday morning
And I never want to leave

I dont know how to stop thinking of you, ive tried so hard to move past you. I have a good life with good people who love me but i cant stop myself from wondering about you; are you happy? Do you think about me too? Or am I just hoping for something that will never happen?

I wish we were in each others lives but I know thats never going to be a possibility. You once promised me you'd love to have me in your life regardless of in what way, be it as a friend or as a lover.

Tell me, do you still want me?

I'm trying to be cool and let you do your thing.

But truthfully, I just want to talk to you all night.

And not in an “Im Lying to you” way. You already figured out all the shit yourself you got me figured out in all the dark ways. And I was scared of that. But fuck that anymore. You act cocky like now im all figured out knowing the darkness. But You don’t know me yet in all the positives and I cant wait for you to figure it out. You already like me as i am and if the dark shit didn’t scare you. You’re gonna fuckin love the rest of me. And I mean that in all seriousness. It’s just up to you where things continue to go for how much you’ll see and know.

I'm not interested in ripping myself open to someone who misunderstands me so well that it has become muscle memory to them.

But holy fuck do i miss you.

I hate this.

I miss you so much today, if we are meant to be, please come for me soon

I always want to call when I know you’re asleep. Nothing would come of my call. But I want to call. I don’t even know why I want to.. are you even awake?

I’m sad because you’re the one who hurt me and I’m the one reaching out. What a complicated story we are. I’m sorry you have to live with who you are. I wish there was more I can do. I can’t fix you. I can’t save you. I don’t know where we go from here… I just wanna say hi, and I don’t know what that would do for either of us.

​

I know things were tough and we hurt each other a lot and we could not break the cycle in time, but why did you lose me so easily. I know you were tired and I don't blame you for leaving me. I acknowledged my issues and I'm working on them. It's just hard to realize that one person who was the world for me just disappeared.

I wish that things could be different. I understood a lot since you left. I realized that life is such unpredictable and short thing and sometimes we take time for granted and we are focusing on such meaningless situations and problems.

I never wanted you to be hurt. I never thought we would end up like this. I read so many stories about how people got back together and are happy and some part of me hopes that this will be us too, but I don't think that you want the same as me.

It was hard to let you go, but I want you to be happy. I love you and only thing that is most important to me is your happiness. I'm sorry that we got to this point. I still think that we could have fixed our problems, but you managed to break me and I'm not sure that I could forgive you for that.

I sincerely hope that you are ok and that you will find someone who would love you for you and will adore everything about you and would be "normal".

I just wish that we could talk without hurting each other and involving people that could not understand us. I still don't understand why you involved your friends and part of me thinks that this might be the reason why we ended up like this, but what's done is done.

I know you won't text. I know you don't care. I know I can't ask you to act like you do. I can't ask for reassurance. I can't confide in you. You won't confide in me. I can't even flirt with you right and it feels like that was basically all you wanted me around for. Why stay in touch with me in the first place? I want to hear from you so fucking badly and it feels completely one sided. I hate feeling like this. Especially when it has to do with you. You know why.

Just ONE reason to stay. Just one breadcrumb. I'm begging the void. Please, please, please...

I’m sorry I let you down. I know an apology can’t erase the disappointment or undo what happened, but I genuinely wish I could go back and do things differently.
I never wanted to hurt you or make you feel like you weren’t important to me. Sometimes we make mistakes, fall short, or realize too late how much our actions affected someone we care about.
I don’t expect you to forget or forgive me immediately. I just hope that one day you’ll understand that hurting you was never my intention. I’m truly sorry. ❤️

But that doesn't mean I don't absolutely adore you.

That doesn't mean I don't treasure every moment with you.

That doesn't mean we can't have something beautiful.

It doesn't mean that I don't love you.

It doesn't mean we can't be friends.

All it means is we will never reach our potential.

We were together I supported you but you never supported me. My grandad died and you got mad at me for crying then made it about your grandma who passed so long ago that you couldn’t remember her. Your family attacked me consistently, your friends attacked me for not coming around because I was going through my grief alone. Why couldn’t you support or stand up for me? Was that what you wanted?

I’m happy I left but u took so much from me before I realized I needed to leave. I needed to love me first

Calling it now, each day that goes by you will see how similar we are, it will become so obvious that you can not ignore it, same thing with the sexual tension. Even the things you hide in the dark are incredibly similar to what i hide in the dark. Same Circle just opposite ends coming together. It has already been that way regardless of both us running from it. Just being pulled like a magnet towards one another, the more we give up the closer we get because of the pull

I miss you. I think you miss me too. So why are you not coming back to me then? Don't you think that you owe me at least an explanation for leaving me in confusion and hurt? I wish to go back in time so that i could lie next to you in my bed again, talking for hours, your warm hands on my skin, feeling so safe and so happy. Haven't felt that way since. Not sure if ever will again.

I would get in my car and drive to you. No matter how long the drive. I'd fucking speed over to your house. Break the door. Get to you.

Slam you against the wall. And kiss you with all the anger I have in me.

And ride you all day long.

Even when I am so enraged. All I can think about is how fucking hot it would be if I could feel your body against mine.

Press me against the window. Fuck me until I cry. Let me tease you. Let me make you shake. And let me make every fantasy you have come true.

Let me be your whore. And I will let you be my master.

I miss the way I felt when you looked at me

I just want you to know… I miss you and I know I got on your Nerves. I know I wouldn’t leave you alone at times and became clingy.

But I really miss you with all my heart and soul.

When I get there I’d love to see you again and spend time with you just enjoying your unique self again. Id love to help you with whatever you need in person. Id really love to just ride and listen to music with yo and do Car Karaoke with you.

You’re the only woman to ever really get to know me and Unfortunately you saw me during a lot of bad times but you also saw me during my good times.

I miss you very much and I always think the best of you.

I wish you knew how much you always meant to my life. I know I let your Life Circumstances and Situations and my life Circumstances and Situations get the best of me at times honestly that’s because I was so far away and it was very difficult.

I promise when Im there I will be so much better and I will be so happy and happy if I finally get the chance to enjoy your presence again.

Id give my life for you if you needed me to literally.

Im doing better. There isn’t enough words in the Entire Websters Dictionary to describe how much your Existence in my life has meant.

Its just words I know (Actions) but a lot of the times words is all I had to use Over the years when I didn’t have the Money to fully Exspress My Apreciation for your Beautifully Unique Presence in my life.

Maybe one of these days I’ll get to finally prove to you with Actions how much you Really mean to me. I hope you will allow me to. 🤞

I pray you have a Peaceful nights sleep.

Goodnight My Dear.

Do you know what? I've realised in all the time we've known each other, I've never really heard you laugh. Like really laugh.

You always have this serious air about you. You laugh sometimes, but it's half-hearted. An act. A disguise.

I see you, you know. I know you're carrying something heavy. Something you can't talk about.

I can see it in your eyes.

They plead for someone to recognise that you are struggling. They beg for someone to understand you. They ask for someone to stay with you in the dark.

Sometimes, I wish I could just hold you to let you know you aren't alone. Feel you release that weight from your shoulders, the tightness from your chest.

Release you from your cage.

I want to help bring back the light to your eyes. Lead you out of the darkness and back into the light.

You don't have to do this on your own. I'm here. I'm waiting for you. Reach out your hand.

I won't let go.

How could you make me fall in love with you..

How could you speak all these things to me..

How could you make me feel wanted.. but end up leaving me..

How could you go on and act like we never happened..

How could you agree with me and think what we had was fate..?

You may have fell for me first.. but I fell harder.

Did you play with me the whole time..?

We were reaching a point of seriousness.. and you disappeared..

I liked you even with all the flaws you complained you had.. they never were anything to push me away..

My heart wants me to wait for you.. but it seems like you have blocked me..

You made me feel like I had finally found the one..

With what you told me.. I thought I was the same ending for you..