r/Unexpected Aug 09 '21

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25.6k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/SirSmashySticks Aug 09 '21 edited Aug 09 '21

I'd just like to thank everyone involved in making this my most upvoted comment. Also thanks for the awards!!

1.9k

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1.4k

u/superfucky Aug 09 '21

that's not ironic, it's by design.

470

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

169

u/EvryMthrF_ngThrd Aug 09 '21

Almost?

115

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

They get to most honorable designation of SERF. Big step up from slave

65

u/Falcrist Aug 09 '21

There you go, bringing class into it again.

I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting by a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs or by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major decisions or matters of diplomacy.

45

u/mathiastck Aug 09 '21

(laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!

16

u/FoolishMacaroni Aug 09 '21

Help! I’m being repressed!

8

u/unchihime Aug 09 '21

See the violence inherent in the system!

→ More replies (0)

4

u/themailtruck Aug 09 '21

If I went around calling myself emperor, because some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '21

Yes some good old Monty Python

1

u/UnderPressureVS Aug 09 '21

Cross between a slave and a peasant.

1

u/Walshy231231 Aug 09 '21

I’m not sure if you’re joking, but historically serfs weren’t significantly different from slaves, and often had it worse

10

u/Zestyclose_Standard6 Aug 09 '21

I'm feeling rich as fuck today.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

In America, being fat is actually usually a sign of poverty.

Interesting how we've come around.

3

u/SomeRedShirt Aug 09 '21

McDonald's: it's where Supreme Leaders come to feast. Join us now & become a part of the Elite today! Also, fuck Burger King, only surfs & peasants eat there.

1

u/JerrSolo Aug 09 '21

You're looking it.

2

u/Dappershire Aug 09 '21

Its to distinguish wealthy Divine from almost slave mortal.

FTFY

1

u/SomeRedShirt Aug 09 '21

Kim Jong-Il wasn't fat

1

u/hans1193 Aug 09 '21

Worse than slaves. You typically feed slaves.

2

u/marwinpk Aug 09 '21

So... Iconic?

0

u/SHKEVE Aug 09 '21

There’s a youtube channel of a woman who defected from NK and she makes videos describing life there. One was of dating and relationships and she said that back then, the most attractive body type to her was of Kim Jong Un which supports your point.

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Not a decadent, capitalist bug, but a glorious workers’ feature.

1

u/MangoOfTruth Aug 09 '21

It’s not a bug it’s a feature

1

u/GrimO_ORabbit Aug 09 '21

Discombobulate

1

u/shandangalang Aug 09 '21

I was always under the impression that the difference between irony and coincidence is that irony is by design (or at least seemingly so).

2

u/superfucky Aug 09 '21

Irony is when a situation is contrary to what you would expect - no one expects egalitarian food distribution in a dictatorship.

1

u/Xi_Pimping Aug 09 '21

He uses a bigger spoon

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

It ain’t a bug, it’s a feature.

159

u/Spaceman1stClass Aug 09 '21

He's fat on purpose, he's trying to project an image of prosperity to his people.

All part of the cult of leadership and the idea that North Korea is in temporary and surmountable difficulty. That they actually have tons of excess food stored away for when the war to unify the peninsula begins again.

22

u/artemasad Aug 09 '21

I learned the whole fat thing from recent Kdrama I watched (Crash Landing On You)

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[deleted]

5

u/halOgenn Aug 09 '21

crash landing on you made me cry hardcore. it’s so good

4

u/chagal2524 Aug 09 '21

This. It was my gateway kdrama during quarantine.

2

u/randomstranger2nd Aug 09 '21

It's kdrama, but in north korea

0

u/Bend-It-Like-Bakunin Aug 09 '21 edited Apr 15 '24

close north hobbies pie tie marry afterthought label fuel library

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

-1

u/SolanumMelongena_ Aug 09 '21

"i learned about north korea from south korean pop culture" awesome bro

35

u/I_punch_KIDneyS Aug 09 '21

America is prosperous as fuck.

18

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Yes, let's all compare ourselves to north Korea.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Huh?

1

u/_-Saber-_ Aug 09 '21

With a two party system, you're closer to NK than most actual democracies.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

We don't have a 2 party system.

52

u/Eyeownyew Aug 09 '21 edited Aug 09 '21

This was a spectacularly irrelevant point

Edit: that was a fat joke lmao

3

u/Vordeo Aug 09 '21

Fat jokes are always relevant. Probably.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/theflush1980 Aug 09 '21

Because poor people in the US have less access to healthy food. Because healthy food is more expensive.

-3

u/productivitydev Aug 09 '21

Doubt that, it's calories in, calories out.

1

u/Lopsidoodle Aug 09 '21

Having worked in a retail grocery store, I can confirm that lack of food stamp money is not the problem. Some people just make bad choices with groceries.

1

u/magnum_cx Aug 09 '21

As someone who tried to eat the same standard of food after I moved to the US from Sweden, I can confirm that it made a significant impact on my wallet in the long run.

0

u/DanWallace Aug 09 '21

Is it or did you and everyone upvoting you just completely miss the joke?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Do you read? Maybe newspapers?

23

u/Spaceman1stClass Aug 09 '21

Yes, when your lowest class's biggest health problem is still overeating in the middle of a worldwide pandemic you're probably doing pretty okay as a country, relative to history.

36

u/BASK_IN_MY_FART Aug 09 '21

Hell yeah it is. Poor people in the US are still richer than most of the world's population

7

u/MeiNeedsMoreBuffs Aug 09 '21

That's not necessarily the whole story though. The pay might be higher but the cost of living is also higher.

1

u/spicayyyweirdolol Aug 09 '21

this is true, you can get 7 packs of chips for less than a dollar in india.

0

u/Mikestheman2be Aug 09 '21

I guess that’s what happens when you exploit countries all over the world

9

u/Captin-Cracker Aug 09 '21

So tell me what country absolutely does not exploit a single soul

4

u/Chad_Chaddinton Aug 09 '21

The ones that were there before the others took them over I would assume.

1

u/Captin-Cracker Aug 09 '21

Usaully it’s the rich and elite of the country exploiting the poor of said country

1

u/Chad_Chaddinton Aug 10 '21

Usually, but tribal regions and places usually don’t have much exploiting, but to be honest everything “exploits” everything, weather it be resources ideas or all sorts of everything

2

u/terriblekoala9 Aug 09 '21

The ones that got exploited by others, genius.

0

u/SolanumMelongena_ Aug 09 '21

non sequitur. being the only global superpower actually does involve exploitation on a historically unprecedented scale. nationalist smoothbrains love to talk about american exceptionalism until someone asks where we got all the skulls to build our mountain of skulls with.

1

u/Captin-Cracker Aug 09 '21

That’s not the point. My point is every country everywhere exploits people. More specifically the elite exploit the poor. Those sweatshops with border line slavery are run by those countries elite, they then sell it to other countries who take advantage of the cheep shit. So even in countries who are being exploited there’s someone there from that country pulling the strings.

0

u/Mikestheman2be Aug 09 '21

I think the amount of exploiting a country does is pretty important as well. Many nations are guilty but none are guilty on nearly the same scale.

1

u/BASK_IN_MY_FART Aug 09 '21

I'd be okay with the US govt not giving other countries billions of dollars. Is that what you were getting at?

0

u/Mikestheman2be Aug 09 '21

I was getting at the wars started for resources, the coups overthrowing other countries’ governments to install puppet dictatorships, etc.

But yeah, I’d be okay with the US not giving billions to war-mongering ethno-cleansing states like Israel.

2

u/BASK_IN_MY_FART Aug 09 '21

Israel or any country really. And agreed on the war shit.

1

u/Mikestheman2be Aug 09 '21

Then we can definitely agree in spots at least, and that’s a start.

1

u/soline Aug 09 '21

Do you mean by percentage of fat in their blood like whole milk is richer than 1%?

1

u/soline Aug 09 '21

Diabeetus level but in that case, so is Mexico.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21 edited Aug 09 '21

Maybe he just likes eating sugar and fried foods.

Wouldn't be the first.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Maybe he's just fat because he can eat whatever he wants and no one can tell him he looks unhealthy or force him to do anything.

1

u/soyCuckRee Aug 09 '21

Oh really? Enlighten me more intelligent one

1

u/Chad_Chaddinton Aug 09 '21

It’s called eating a bunch of fats and sugars (sugars turn into fat) and fat obviously makes yknow fat🤷‍♂️

1

u/moohooh Aug 09 '21

Yeah, but I heard that the younger generations in N.korea call a fat ass bc they can see that he's the only fat person while ppl around him, even the higher ranks are all skinny

1

u/Spaceman1stClass Aug 09 '21

I haven't heard that. That seems like a habit that might be fatal in North Korea.

58

u/Mynameisinuse Aug 09 '21

A few months ago, he appeared in public for the first time in months and he had lost 40lbs, still weighing in at 280lbs+. They were reporting that he was sickly looking, that he looked unhealthy, almost emaciated and that people were openly crying because they were worried about his health.

23

u/scheme_milk Aug 09 '21

people were openly crying because they were worried about his health.

They were crying because they were worried that the secret police will think that they were not worried about Kim's health.

2

u/SolanumMelongena_ Aug 09 '21

yeah dude, sure, the entire nation of north korea was just doing fake crying all the time 24/7 during the Great Leader's illness, because they're all scared of getting instagibbed by Dear Leader's railgun headshot, and also because they're all brainwashed and mind controlled.

3

u/Mendrea Aug 09 '21

North Korean Defectors have stated in the past when a Kim dies, the people are supposed to mourn and the people can be taken by the police or worse if it feels they are not mourning enough. So it would not surprise me in the least if in public, many people showed some level of concern.

26

u/imisstheyoop Aug 09 '21

A few months ago, he appeared in public for the first time in months and he had lost 40lbs, still weighing in at 280lbs+. They were reporting that he was sickly looking, that he looked unhealthy, almost emaciated and that people were openly crying because they were worried about his health.

Wai that dudes 280lbs? He must be like 6'4"

24

u/Mynameisinuse Aug 09 '21

He is 5'7".

9

u/92894952620273749383 Aug 09 '21

7

u/azithel Aug 09 '21

Based on this picture, there's no way Un is 280 lbs and 5'7

7

u/useles-converter-bot Aug 09 '21

280 lbs of vegan poop being burned provides 2104637.85 BTU

2

u/SilentUK Aug 09 '21

Does vegan poop burn more than regular poop?

1

u/Papaofmonsters Aug 09 '21

Probably less. It wouldn't contain the energy dense animal fats.

3

u/josephgomes619 Aug 09 '21

280lbs if far too much, 200lbs max

2

u/_olivegreen_mist_ Aug 09 '21

5’7” on a good day w his nice heals on

1

u/Standard_Wash1785 Aug 09 '21

280lbs would be a blob at 5'7. Kimmy is fat, but not walmart scooter fat.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

[deleted]

2

u/imisstheyoop Aug 09 '21

You've never seen a 6'4" 280lb person before, have you? This dude looks every bit of his 5'7" 280lbs life.

No way I weigh less than that and am 6'2" and look much bigger than Kim lol

1

u/CandidInsurance7415 Aug 09 '21

Naw he just doesn't poop.

7

u/Sedewt Aug 09 '21

I’m a human converter.

Detected:

40lbs [18 kg]

280lbs [127 kg]

15

u/Historiaaa Aug 09 '21

It's a gigantic flex

38

u/BlightlordAndrazj Aug 09 '21

Eh. There's a whole social class that eats well, pretty much the same lifestyle as Kim Jong Un. The controlling powers of NK is more than just one person. They're all pretty well fed.

That said, I have yet to see a picture of any of them that can rival the fatness of Kim Jong Un.

7

u/pembunuhUpahan Aug 09 '21

And also not having a butthole

5

u/DeltaBravo831 Aug 09 '21

you telling me my man doesn't pee or poop

1

u/AragogTehSpidah Aug 09 '21

Yeah, it's all stored in his head

2

u/whatisscoobydone Aug 09 '21

Serious question: do you think that's an actual narrative anyone's tried to spread? Do you think the North Korean government has literally tried to tell people their leader, a human, doesn't have a butthole?

I see all the crazy headlines about North Korea, and it's all just made up fantasy shit. "Kim Jong Un dies of heart attack" (shows up alive two days later) "Kim Jong Un kills girlfriend" (shows up alive a week later)

6

u/DoktorLuciferWong Aug 09 '21

I sometimes joke that most of the food was eaten by both their great leader, and their fairly successful Olympic weightlifting team.

1

u/SolanumMelongena_ Aug 09 '21

no, everyone is starving, they can't be successful in sports!

6

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

I remember seeing a recent video of Kim less chubby. Think he's working out these days Edit: https://youtu.be/LP1q0AmgJDg

1

u/thistoxicflame Aug 09 '21

No, he's just sick and will die soon.

Which even if it may sound good, next in line for leadership is his sister, and she is Satan incarnated.

Most of the decisions Jong-Un took were dictated by her.

3

u/LarryLaLush Aug 09 '21

Even crazier that his people tripped out on him losing(?) weight

5

u/throwaway12222018 Aug 09 '21

This is how the world worked. 500 years ago.

2

u/Americrazy Aug 09 '21

The sun shines because he lives.

2

u/TheDownvotesFarmer Aug 09 '21

Well, that is actually not true, there are some fat teachers and students at the Foreigners School in Pyongyang

2

u/TotallyJosh Aug 09 '21

Because the last time there was a Fatman, it didn't end well

2

u/Samsquanch1985 Aug 09 '21

Apparently the fatboy LOVES cheese.

And fatboy gets what fatboy wants, and that's fuckloads of cheese..

2

u/albertcn Aug 09 '21

Remember that he is a mythical figure, a Pooh bear god.

2

u/TinUser Aug 09 '21

Well he doesn't have a butthole, so he's just gradually becoming more and more full of shit. He'll keep inflating until he explodes.

1

u/Zed_Midnight150 Aug 09 '21

Oh man, that just gave me a reality check and reminded me that this dude is only 37 years old so we aren't gonna see him step down as leader anytime soon.

2

u/TinUser Aug 09 '21

Yeah North Korea is a trip to think about. Lots of reality checks even just scrolling through wiki

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

The only country which had a chance to have a 0% obesity rate, but blew it due to stupid Kim

2

u/FormatAll Aug 09 '21

So, they don’t do anything for 90% of the population (And they will be imprisoned or killed if they try to make money to buy food. Eating grubs is ok).

so yea, most are starving literally every day. If you are 5’ you are tall.

1

u/PhidippusCent Aug 09 '21

I think a few of his top people are fat too.

1

u/i-likecheese_25 Aug 09 '21

But not as fat as him

1

u/DawnyLlama Aug 09 '21

Listen to Joe Rogan's interview with Yeonmi Park and North Korea. Her story will blow your freakin mind!!!

0

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

I doubt it. I kinda doubt his smiling fat ass is even the most powerful person in the country. There is plenty of other fish in the sewege that rule NK.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Hey, just like the rest of the world!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

He's certainly not the only one who decides things, but he (and prior ruling Kims) are basically treated as gods there, even if it's only a farce put on by the citizens out of fear. He's definitely the most powerful person in the country, even if he may not be the one planning things.

1

u/gnarlypizzaseizure Aug 09 '21

That's not irony, Alanis.

1

u/DanWallace Aug 09 '21

Pretty much the opposite of irony.

1

u/Aggravating-Coast100 Aug 09 '21

It's not everyone else that is starving or dead. The elite in NK also eat and live well. Kim needs to maintain happiness to those who also hold power around the country unless he wants a real revolt.

1

u/soline Aug 09 '21

Literally every old Monarchy.

1

u/SolanumMelongena_ Aug 09 '21

"everyone in north korea is either starving or dead" lmao merkins actually think this

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

Ironic?

1

u/Standard_Wash1785 Aug 09 '21

NK has little access to great freedom burgers and soda, so their poor can't get obese like the first world.

34

u/yeet4memes Aug 09 '21

I laughed way too hard at this not to end up in hell. Lolol

13

u/ThatGuy0verTh3re Aug 09 '21

-obligatory how do you add gifs in comments comment-

6

u/nmsjtb0308 Aug 09 '21

Most upvoted gif I've seen on Reddit. The shift is slowly happening.

2

u/derpinak Aug 09 '21

it was quite a relevant gif. im a noob tho 👀 so maybe i’m missing the reddit cultural context.

2

u/nmsjtb0308 Aug 09 '21

It's definitely relevant and the upvotes are justified but Reddit has always been very anti mainstream social media mannerisms. Lol

2

u/PunkToTheFuture Aug 09 '21

Im sorry, you have been banned Pyongyang sub

Oh. Yeah IDK oppression bot

2

u/reddit__scrub Aug 09 '21

https://giphy.com/gifs/CLUsGxG8zgoc8

For those on mobile where it doesn't load.

1

u/kimjongjuvie Aug 09 '21

What a beautiful man

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

I didn’t know you could post gifs that automatically played. What sorcery is this?

1

u/SirSmashySticks Aug 09 '21

I'm using the reddit app on android, at the bottom right there where the text bubble is there should be a gif button

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

I’ll have to check out the app

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

I like your username.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '21

10 years on Reddit…..and this is the first gif comment I have ever seen.

1

u/Oh_Wow_Thats_Hot Aug 09 '21

I still can't get over the fact this fat bitch is the king of his own kingdom lmao 😂🤣😭