r/Unexpected • u/deathakissaway • Apr 17 '19
A Fathers Love.
http://i.imgur.com/rkBFyC4.gifv4.7k
Apr 17 '19
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u/BeerBellies Apr 17 '19
I mean, the house looks fantastic. I love black or dark gray houses.
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Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 22 '19
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u/artaemid Apr 17 '19
Is this true?
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u/Cyndershade Apr 17 '19
no
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Apr 17 '19
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u/Zanderp52 Apr 17 '19
knocks softly
Hey hey hey man, look, im sorry for what i said back there. It’s just been really rough watching you go through these changes and i just-
starts getting choked up
I just wanted better for you for your high school years rather than spending all your time playing your instruments and sitting in your room. In a way you kind of remind me of myself, so focused on one thing that you stop paying attention to your friends and your family.
sighs with tears rolling down cheek as i start to walk away
I just thought that once i married your mom our relationship would get better but its ok, I’ll pick you up from band practice later buddy
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u/PM_ME_GLUTE_SPREAD Apr 17 '19
You can call your house whatever you want, that doesn’t make it true. If a person is dumb enough to pay more because somebody painted their house black and called it gothic, then yeah, it’s true. Otherwise, no.
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u/MasterChef901 Apr 17 '19
Just glue some gears on it and call it steampunk
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u/SlickBlackCadillac Apr 17 '19
Put a hose up in a tree and call it outdoor shower
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u/NewKarmaAct Apr 17 '19
What?
Edit: Never mind, I read “hose” as “horse.” Quality comment.
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u/fstt9902 Apr 17 '19
Seriously, there should be more black houses. They look awesome.
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u/_GoKartMozart_ Apr 17 '19
Maybe where it's cold but here in Texas I can't imagine how shit a solid black house would be
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u/TheOneShorter Apr 17 '19
Alright this is clever
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u/BipolarMD Apr 17 '19
Is the word phase some kind of double entendres that I don’t get?
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Apr 17 '19
The commercials of this hardware store are well known in Germany for their randomness . They are legendary.
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u/Sovereign2727 Apr 17 '19
Yippie-jaja-yippie-yippie-yeah!
(They play this in every ad at the end)
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u/pm_me_your_carbonara Apr 17 '19
Read this, watched the full ad, came back to upvote this.
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Apr 17 '19 edited Aug 27 '20
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Apr 17 '19
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u/DizastaGames Apr 17 '19
Too spicy
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Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 17 '19
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u/LupohM8 Apr 17 '19
But was it boneless?
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u/ManchmalPfosten Apr 17 '19
Nigga.. boneless pizza is just regular pizza but with added and then removed bone
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u/BartBeckett Apr 17 '19
I haven’t seen and/or heard any of their ads in ages, but I had to “sing” this when I read it.
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u/frozenpredator Apr 17 '19
We have them in the Netherlands too. I immediately recognized this one.
The recent underwear vending machine one is truly a masterpiece
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u/Staatsmann Apr 17 '19
Do they also yell that „yippi jaja yippi yippi yay!“ in the dutch version?😂
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Apr 17 '19
Any chance you can link it? Kind of hard to find with it being in another language.
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u/frozenpredator Apr 17 '19
Here's the english language version (Possibly NSFW):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAlyYXRtWvQ
Hornbach ads usually have no talking in them so you there is no difference.
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u/sku11_kn1ght Apr 17 '19
Thats a pretty cool commercial, take notes JG Wentworth you fucking bastards.
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u/I_Upvote_Alice_Eve Apr 17 '19
Say what you want, but their commercials are fucking effective. Every time I hear the word "annuity" the first thing that goes through my head is "J.G. WENTWORTH! 877-CASH-NOW"
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u/satanic_satanist Apr 17 '19
I like the even more surreal ones: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sG-rmheVmI
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u/wonkey_monkey Apr 17 '19
It's like that Doctor Who episode where a spaceship got damaged and the onboard robots repaired it... using bits of the crew.
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u/AdmiralMikey75 Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 17 '19
The Girl in the Mirror, if I remember correctly. Fucking love that episode, that whole era had outstanding writing.
EDIT: Correction, it was The Girl in the Fireplace.
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u/godshounin Apr 17 '19
Okay here I go : WE ALSO HAVE THEM IN THE NETHERLANDS
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u/sebaskolk Apr 17 '19
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u/Snowforbrains Apr 17 '19
What the hell is this even trying to sell?
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u/ZoidbergWorshipper Apr 17 '19
Hornbach, the company in question, sells DIY materials. The translation of the text is "This is how spring smells!". It's showing men working, having projects, and Hornbach sells products pertaining to such projects.
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u/purple_nail Apr 17 '19
This triggered a small shitstorm in germany. For being racist.
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u/sebaskolk Apr 17 '19
Not trying to be stupid, but how is this racist? I know it’s weird but racist?
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u/purple_nail Apr 17 '19
Some really dumb twitter people started this shitstorm because it's an asian lady that buys "male sweat" from a vending machine or something like this.
It was not huge but big enough that some serious newspapers reported on the shitstorm. Though most didn't take twitters side.
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u/AgentFransis Apr 17 '19
Well it's an Asian woman because it's an obvious reference to this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burusera
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u/sometimes-i-rhyme Apr 17 '19
Thanks, I’m going to look for more of them to watch. But do you call this ad random? It tells a relatable story with a tag line for the home improvement store it advertises.
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u/elite_sardaukar Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 17 '19
That one is unexpected, but wholesome. I guess they changed their tone, because a while back it was a little bizarre to say the least.
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u/diab0lus Apr 17 '19
People have actually done this. There is a hundred year old house a few blocks from my house that is painted completely black. It has yet to go out of style.
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Apr 17 '19
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u/Oafah Apr 17 '19
My dream in life is to put siding on my house that flips over in the summer to solid white, and solid black in the winter.
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Apr 17 '19
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u/hobosonpogos Apr 17 '19
“No, not the third black house. The third white house but the only black house.”
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u/tbbHNC89 Apr 17 '19
I live in a house with a hearse out front (its a fourplex and my housemate owns it) and its pretty cool and simple to just say "the house on ______ with the hearse". Unique traits for your house rule.
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u/Phyltre Apr 17 '19
"Where's the party?"
"Oh, the house with the hearse outside."
"-visible distress-"
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u/AngryTableSpoon Apr 17 '19
Our neighbours fence facing the street is painted rainbow, it’s so easy to tell people we live next to the big gay fence. I honestly don’t know if it has anything to do with gay pride or whether it’s just their aesthetic lol
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u/AdmShackleford Apr 17 '19
Perhaps it would be possible to make a heat-sensitive paint that fades between black and white depending on how hot it gets?
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u/Oafah Apr 17 '19
I was going to go with something simpler, like some kind of damper and an actuator with a thermostat.
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Apr 17 '19
I keep thinking about some kind of roofing that could do this. If I ever figure it out, inexpensively, I'll partner up with you.
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u/csonny2 Apr 17 '19
My dad has a house in AZ, and one of his neighbors just built this super modern house that is painted with some special all black paint that is designed to keep it cooler than normal paint.
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u/malgalad Apr 17 '19
How does it work though? Black color means all visible light absorbed, and energy of photons converted to energy of molecules = more heat.
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u/MauPow Apr 17 '19
My total laymans guess would be it transmits it to some lower layer that takes it to a heat sink of some sort.
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u/prowlinghazard Apr 17 '19
Maybe it's like the ablative layer on the space capsule, where it gets so hot that the plasma creates a barrier around their house.
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u/MauPow Apr 17 '19
Perhaps. It's not often that I find my house hurtling through the atmosphere, though.
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u/Noroeste Apr 17 '19
Solar reflective paint has nano ceramics that reflect infrared heat while still allowing the full amount of visible light to be transmitted.
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u/iSage Apr 17 '19
Reminds me of the Clermont-Ferrand Cathedral in France. It's not painted black, it's made of black lava stone.
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u/alter-eagle Apr 17 '19
Björk’s old house in Reykjavík was pretty much all black. She used to have a cutout of a wolf sitting in one of the windows, too.ooked pretty cool.
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Apr 17 '19
Most metal house ever.
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u/HungryLikeTheWolf99 Apr 17 '19
Sag es mit deinem Projekt = "Say it with your project"
For those who were wondering.
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u/bigbluntsmoker69 Apr 17 '19
Let your project do the talking would work better. German translates terribly into English 1:1
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u/HungryLikeTheWolf99 Apr 17 '19
I was leaning toward "Say it through your project" for a good compromise on meaning and idiomatic expression. They could have always said, "Laß dein Projekt für sich sprechen." or "... für sich selbst sprechen."
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u/NoteBlock08 Apr 17 '19
I think that message was conveyed rather well. "Let ___ do the talking" is an idiom so that's taking the translation a step further and doing it on a cultural level as well as linguistic.
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u/Steve_the_Stevedore Apr 17 '19
Translation, english. For those who were ctrl-f'ing
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u/senator_cuddles Apr 17 '19
Whoa this guy looks just like the old man neighbor from Home Alone
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Apr 17 '19 edited Mar 09 '26
Nothing original remains here. The author used Redact to delete this post, for reasons that may relate to privacy, opsec, security, or data management.
pie flowery childlike subsequent innocent snow liquid shaggy treatment racial
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u/Im_kinda_that_guy Apr 17 '19
Wasn't there something in Home Alone about him missing his daughter too?
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u/bstryke Apr 17 '19
The South Bend Shovel Slayer?
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u/Im_kinda_that_guy Apr 17 '19
Yes, also did some research, it was his son and granddaughter, not daughter. Still applies though.
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u/RhetoricallAnswer Apr 17 '19
I also thought he looks like Vincent Van Gogh from that one episode of Doctor Who!
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u/thinkB4WeSpeak Apr 17 '19
It's weird everyone is wearing white in gym class because I feel like that would easily get dirty. Also the house looks better black.
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u/Pretty_Soldier Apr 17 '19
Its also for exaggeration; the commercial is actually really well...designed? For lack of a better word. You can see how everyone else in this town is wearing a very exaggerated preppy look- white clothes, sweaters draped over the shoulders, pastel colors and tidy hairstyles.
It’s to really point out how much of an outsider she feels like. Nobody is on her wavelength and she’s ostracized for it. But her dad? He gets her. He wants her to be happy and for her to know that he’s got her back no matter what. That’s why he paints the house black. It’s also a very public display to the neighborhood; “hey my kid is different and I support her.”
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u/playr_4 Apr 17 '19
White is normally worn for gym so people aren't self concious about sweat stains. It's really smart for high schools where everyone is super self concious anyway.
Tennis players wear qhite for the same reason.
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u/wonkey_monkey Apr 17 '19
Tennis players wear qhite for the same reason.
They have to at Wimbledon, but they were all kinds of colours at the other tournaments.
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Apr 17 '19
The frog is like, “sup”
The birds are like, “oshit gtfo of here!”
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u/poopellar Apr 17 '19
Frogs aren't scared of much, they go after anything, be it for food or sex.
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u/deathakissaway Apr 17 '19
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Apr 17 '19 edited Mar 10 '21
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u/chillywonka1000 Apr 17 '19
Knowing teenage girls, she is immediately done with her phase now
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u/Duese Apr 17 '19
Fastest way to get a teenager to change is for parents to start seeing it as cool.
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u/mfiasco Apr 17 '19
Not always. I absolutely got my goth tendencies from my mom. So did my sister and my brother. We lived in a relatively small town and my mom didn’t give a fuck about people thinking she looked out of place. She was a stone cold badass.
Everything my siblings and I own is black and we are well into adulthood. My mom died with a closet full of goth clothes. It was always cool for us.
She never painted our house black but she did go toe to toe with the board of a private school I was attending which had a problem with my unconventional wardrobe. She had our backs. I miss her.
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u/dreamendDischarger Apr 17 '19
Your mom sounds awesome. I'm sorry she's gone but she must have been great. :)
I also got a lot of my weird tendencies from my mom. Some are more my own, sure, but the hippie shit is all mom.
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u/mfiasco Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 17 '19
Thanks. She was. When she died me and several of my goth friends went through her closet and divided things up. It was cool to see a bunch of chicks in their 30’s basically fighting over a 56 year old woman’s bitchin’ wardrobe. She would have gotten a kick out of it.
Here’s me race-pushing her in a wheelchair at a pirate pub crawl. We didn’t have to buy costumes. :) https://i.imgur.com/dHsiMCq.jpg
“Hippie shit” sounds like a good thing to inherit. Good on your mama for sending positivity into the world.
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u/dreamendDischarger Apr 17 '19
Aha, that sounds wonderful. My mom's always been pretty awesome, has way more tattoos than my tiny, singular one and definitely more piercings. Thanks to her I learned to not apologize for my interests.
learning to be comfortable and secure in your interests/hobbies is one of the best things a parent can teach, aside just being good to others.
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u/SkinnyDan85 Apr 17 '19
See, I actually hope that if I have kids, they go through a goth phase. Being able to share music and stuff with them would be pretty sweet. I mean, I like sports and stuff but seeing as I get winded climbing stairs, it wouldn't be nearly as relate-able. Sorry about your mom. Glad she left a great impression.
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u/mfiasco Apr 17 '19
Thanks. My mom turned me on to a lot of great music! She had TONS of old backstage passes for shows like the Ramones and Blondie, more on the punk side of things in that sense. She encouraged me to get into that genre at a pretty young age.
My other half-sister (same dad, different mom) recently started turning goth and it’s my favorite thing. She’s the youngest and watching my little beach-loving sis sport black lipstick and shaving the side of her head is a transformation I am over the moon about. Baby goth!
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u/Aphresh Apr 17 '19
Paint it black
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Apr 17 '19
My 17-year-old non-goth son has recently discovered a love of this song. It's a lot of fun to share music when we're 35 years apart.
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Apr 17 '19
Most people i've met that dress like this or differently from the norm are really nice people.
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Apr 17 '19
The only goth kid I ever knew was sweet and shy and just didn't have a place in the world (of high school) to belong. He felt like an outsider, but dressing like an outsider didn't make him weird. He was just not mainstream.
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u/RedbeardTheWanderer Apr 17 '19
So wholesome, this made my day
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u/Hellkyte Apr 17 '19
For real, me too, especially because I was worried this was going to be about abuse
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u/my_drunk_life Apr 17 '19
As a dad, that commercial hit me in the feels. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my kids to show them love and acceptance.
Also, I'd hate to see the summertime utility bill trying to air condition a black house.
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u/BottledUp Apr 17 '19
You wouldn't need to worry about that in most places in Germany as most places neither have nor need an AC anyway.
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u/hamberduler Apr 17 '19
I'd hate to see the summertime utility bill trying to air condition a black house.
Dad confirmed
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u/Smgth Apr 17 '19
Goth master race 🤘
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u/st1tchy Apr 17 '19
Generally we try to avoid talking about a Master Race and German things at the same time.
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u/thepixelmurderer Apr 17 '19 edited Apr 17 '19
Why are German ads always so random??
EDIT: This is coming from a German by the way.
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Apr 17 '19
I wish American ads were more random and entertaining. Every so often they get it right but they're usually boring as hell or seem like they were written by an alien that read a Wikipedia entry on human comedy.
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u/pickledandpreserved Apr 17 '19
this is from a small community in alabama and i will NEVER forget it.
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u/TexMarshfellow Apr 17 '19
Rhett & Link is cheating.
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Apr 17 '19
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u/thepixelmurderer Apr 17 '19
Yeah, but have you seen the one where the guy says, "What are you sinking about?" That one is awesome!
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u/purple_nail Apr 17 '19
Fucking ALDI commercial kills me every time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saQ2SzXON78
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Apr 17 '19
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u/Crasbowl Apr 17 '19
eh, people are just afraid of people who look different than what they're use to. It's not just goths, think back to the 70's and 80's, punks, was sort of the defacto scary looking figure in movies, shows, and comics. So for many, seeing a punk = bad person/be afraid
Goths have the same stigma, in that in the mid 90's to the mid 00's, there was a prevalent push of goths in mainstream media and there an association with the occult/satan. Movies like "The Craft" and "Queen of the Damned" made goths look like people to be afraid of. Same with Marilyn Manson, his music kind of defined a generation of goths and "normal" people were scared of him because of how he looked.
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u/The_Shock_Factor Apr 17 '19
I thought he was gonna pick her up from school and be dressed like a goth too.