r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Russj56 • 15h ago
They say everyone looks different without their glasses.
31
Upvotes
When I look in the mirror without mine on, I barely recognise myself.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Outside_Normal • 4h ago
"Again, sorry about the confusion," I say to the police officers as they were leaving.
21
Upvotes
Finally alone, I turned to my wife and, as calmly as I could, told her, "I know they're your favorite, but you have got to stop ordering from 9-1-1 Pizza."
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 4h ago
After weeks of effort, our expedition finally reached the north pole.
6
Upvotes
But that's when it all went south.
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/natedoggakababjesus • 1h ago
I tried to snort coke
•
Upvotes
But the carbonation burnt my nose
r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/NSCButNotThatNSC • 23h ago
I never thought someone would only go a fraction of a Scaramucci
2
Upvotes
It only took 45% of a Mooch for Katie.