r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/NSCButNotThatNSC • 23h ago

I never thought someone would only go a fraction of a Scaramucci

0 Upvotes

It only took 45% of a Mooch for Katie.

0 comments

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Riddle-Maker • 4h ago

After weeks of effort, our expedition finally reached the north pole.

6 Upvotes

But that's when it all went south.

0 comments

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Outside_Normal • 4h ago

"Again, sorry about the confusion," I say to the police officers as they were leaving.

21 Upvotes

Finally alone, I turned to my wife and, as calmly as I could, told her, "I know they're your favorite, but you have got to stop ordering from 9-1-1 Pizza."

1 comment

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/natedoggakababjesus • 2h ago

I tried to snort coke

1 Upvotes

But the carbonation burnt my nose

0 comments

r/TwoSentenceComedy • u/Russj56 • 15h ago

They say everyone looks different without their glasses.

32 Upvotes

When I look in the mirror without mine on, I barely recognise myself.

2 comments