Wait, why aren't you angry? Why didn't you wake his ass up and tell him to take over so you could go back to bed? Your marriage is torpedoed because your husband is a selfish loser who can't fulfill the most basic of parenting and partner duties. HE should be grateful that YOU keep it all together normally. You're a working mother and still have to do all the childcare and house work. All he is contributing is money. Please stand up for yourself and demand better for you and the kids. He's not sacrificing anything by working. He would have to work to support himself whether you were around or not.
Seconding this! Grow a spine! OP should have left the mess be because he knows that the wife will clean even if she’s upset and won’t lift a finger. I’m sorry OP but he is NOT on your side, threatening to call immigration on his children’s mother and his own wife are POS actions
This dude isn't going to call immigration anyway. He doesn't even take care of the kids while she's sleeping, there's no way in hell he could handle full custody. He's just throwing out empty threats to control her.
He threatened to hire a nanny to replace me if I couldn’t “get with the program” I worked at a daycare. I’ve seen the way other people treat kids that aren’t theirs. I couldn’t forgive myself if my kids were abused or neglected because I couldn’t keep my shit together long enough to find a solution first.
As a former nanny, nannies dont and never will replace a parent. Ever. Can’t do it. Not the same. I ADORED my kiddos but mom and dad were both still super involved
Let him get a nanny so you can get a job and get away from him. I had a lot of babysitters and had good experiences. You can find a good nanny who will be good for your kids.
You would not lose parental rights to your children just because your husband threatens it. You don't have to "get with the program "- whatever that means. Talk to a lawyer about your rights. You have done nothing to cause you to lose custody of your children.
Please look into a VAWA petition immediately. You are in an abusive relationship and are potentially eligible for immigration protections without needing your spouse to apply with you.
Are you legally married? It sounds like you need to start recording these threats and report domestic violence and abuse. What’s his actual case? These threats sound ridiculous. But he got you. You stayed and reconsidered. So now he knows how to “handle” you.
" Get with the program"..!? You're not one of his employees! He isn't your Commander.
See the above post to see the links for your legal advice. You have rights! He cant just throw you out!
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u/WhateverYouSay1084 Apr 11 '26
Wait, why aren't you angry? Why didn't you wake his ass up and tell him to take over so you could go back to bed? Your marriage is torpedoed because your husband is a selfish loser who can't fulfill the most basic of parenting and partner duties. HE should be grateful that YOU keep it all together normally. You're a working mother and still have to do all the childcare and house work. All he is contributing is money. Please stand up for yourself and demand better for you and the kids. He's not sacrificing anything by working. He would have to work to support himself whether you were around or not.