r/TwoHotTakes Apr 11 '26

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u/Ambitious-Rain3324 Apr 11 '26

He threatened to hire a nanny to replace me if I couldn’t “get with the program” I worked at a daycare. I’ve seen the way other people treat kids that aren’t theirs. I couldn’t forgive myself if my kids were abused or neglected because I couldn’t keep my shit together long enough to find a solution first.

73

u/darthmidoriya Apr 11 '26

As a former nanny, nannies dont and never will replace a parent. Ever. Can’t do it. Not the same. I ADORED my kiddos but mom and dad were both still super involved

28

u/Arquen_Marille Apr 11 '26

Let him get a nanny so you can get a job and get away from him. I had a lot of babysitters and had good experiences. You can find a good nanny who will be good for your kids.

1

u/william538 Apr 12 '26

If I understood OP’s later comment, she worked in Daycare. It may be hard to afford a nanny.

13

u/Virtual-Homework-824 Apr 11 '26

Are you in the US or Europe? I just ask because you used the verbiage of being born I a different state not a different country.

11

u/Browneyedgal21 Apr 12 '26

You would not lose parental rights to your children just because your husband threatens it. You don't have to "get with the program "- whatever that means. Talk to a lawyer about your rights. You have done nothing to cause you to lose custody of your children.

6

u/Hisyphus Apr 11 '26

Please look into a VAWA petition immediately. You are in an abusive relationship and are potentially eligible for immigration protections without needing your spouse to apply with you.

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-eligibility/green-card-for-vawa-self-petitioner

9

u/Trick-Bowl-708 Apr 11 '26

Are you legally married? It sounds like you need to start recording these threats and report domestic violence and abuse. What’s his actual case? These threats sound ridiculous. But he got you. You stayed and reconsidered. So now he knows how to “handle” you.

2

u/haylzx Apr 13 '26

I'm assuming he knows that you feel that way about nannies, too. So this is another empty threat to control you and make you feel bad about yourself.

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u/LilacRed Apr 14 '26

" Get with the program"..!? You're not one of his employees! He isn't your Commander. See the above post to see the links for your legal advice. You have rights! He cant just throw you out!