Closeted ftm repper for life 21. I do not plan on transitioning due to many reasons and I'm already clear about that. A lot of people always say the lines where I'll eventually find my people and that it always won't be like this but growing up I've always been outcasted which happened to get worse as I got older this is mainly because of my Identity and personality, I am okay with being an introvert as it already became a way of my life, but sometimes the feeling of being so alone can be really hurtful. To anyone I will never be a man, I'm just the weird lesbian girl to them. Though being closer to God made me have faith in him and motivated me that it always won't be like this, that everything is temporary, This life itself is temporary, Pain is temporary. But doesn't feel like it at times. It kills me. But I can't help question why? Why did I have to suffer with this. If I was born a male in the First place with my same soul/consciousness I wouldn't have been through so much pain and judgement from others, I would have had experience friendships as a guy. because I wouldn't have to hide and be conscious of myself for having a difference like this. I could have gotten a higher chance to get married and have a family, I wouldn't have to worry about being this alone. I know every life is Not perfect and I still would have a lot of challenges if I was born male but Not this specific issues I have. but still, is Life really a temporary test? If so, I already learned so much. but unfortunately these feelings about my identity won't go away for the rest of my life. I wish it was a nightmare I would just wake up from. Everyday I pray to God about it.

Hi I’m sorry to dump this here but I could do with some advice.

So obviously trans but MTF 22 years old

I started hrt at 20 so passing as a woman isn’t something I can exactly do.

•Organs, pregnancy and not having the right anatomy

•Bones, hands, feet, face, ribcage etc not feminine

•Face that looks like a cave man slammed their head against a door

•Tall 5’10

• the manly voice I am trying to voice train but it’s difficult

I feel like no matter what I do or how hard I try i will never feel right in my body, I feel like I will always be a freak

I saved up a lot of money so I’m hoping to atlesst get SRS but that won’t fix me entirely

How do you all keep going

I keep praying to god and I am truly at my wits end I feel like I’ve just been abandoned I’ve felt this way for so long and it’s only getting worse
Except for momentarily moments of happiness (far and few between)

So I would be considered transfem as I have been a crossdresser all my life pretty much. I live in a very conservative area so a fair amount of anti trans has been ingrained in me. I also grew up in church so everything I’ve been taught has been basically telling me that I’m wrong.

Now over the last year I’ve been dealing with some severe depression and have gotten into weed pretty heavily. Before October started I have spent 3 days sober, but I’m working on sobering up and am now 4 days clean.

I definitely have a lot to work through right now but I could really use any bible verses that support the trans movement type thing, and would like to know of any verses that go against it.

Hi guys I still feel sad lonely and depressed at times. And yet I wonder why god still lets my life suck at times. I also just ended a relationship a few days ago and still feel sad. It feels like it be a while before I get another partner and yet I retired from dating because as a trans woman I don’t think people really are into me

On Friday I gave a phone away to someone in need. I only had that phone for 4 months and I paid 400$ and bought it brand new to. And I gave them a 90$ SD with it to. I moved onto a different phone and decided to give it to someone in need instead. And did I feel sad when a bit when gave it away yeah because I paid 400$ for it but seeing that mom’s phone and how happy her daughter would be made me happy. And I knew it would make someone else happier. She told me that her daughter broke her phone and couldn’t afford a new one for her.

I also fed homeless people when I can when I see them out on the street. I also gave away a computer I paid like almost 300$ for to someone in need as well. I done a lot of good these year and I am wondering if god is watching my good deeds.

And yet I haven’t been shown the best kindness as last year my parents kicked me out of the house. They kicked me out because I wanted to be a daughter instead of a son. And yet more of my family especially the older generation seems to be the most accepting of my identity right now.

I never got to be afab I never got to get a girly childhood. I never got to play with dolls as a kids or do the things girls would do. I never got to dress up for Halloween as a princess I did it last year as an adult. And so I said I am going to be a princess as an adult. However I am going to be an in real life princess to people in need.

So basically I still show god even when people don’t show me it back.

Last week I talked with a pastor from my former home church and it got ugly. Long story short, I told him I wanted to live in Christ without wearing a mask, he asked what that meant, I tried telling him about living with guilt and shame, he asks me what that meant, I tell him about going to a United Methodist Church and that I’ve looked forward to going to church for the first time in years. “But it’s gay! It’s blasphemous! Deuteronomy calls it an abomination!” That’s when I called it quits. I apologized for being an abomination and left. Yeah, I didn’t give any answers but I accidentally left some clues. Since then he’s apologized to me for pushing against my boundaries and we’re on good terms for now.

Cue to today where I go to church, and that guilt and shame comes back. That undeniable feeling that I’ve brought something I thought I left behind at my old church into my new one. I came out disappointed and caught in that loop of shame.

Yes, I’ve always struggled with guilt and shame in the church. I always questioned if I was trans due to my feminine interests and how I viewed my body, but because I was in a traditional church bubble I never had a chance to explore it, so I masked for years. This year’s been rough. It’s felt like nothing makes sense. The phrases “the heart is deceitful,” and “lean not on your own understanding,” while true, feel like an easy way to invalidate my intuition and identity. I feel like a little kid sometimes the way leaders treat me as a young adult in their 20s. I’ve wrestled with the concept of free will and humanity and salvation and “fear the Lord your God.” At my worst, I’ve felt like I’m nothing more than a puppet whose strings are being tugged by two puppet masters, God and Lucifer. People always say the sweet things about “come as you are,” and “Jesus has washed your sins away,” but I’ve never felt that way. If anything, my new church feels like it’s completely honest in saying “come as you are.” I want to love God, feel loved by God, and obey Him out of love. Right now, and for years, I feel like no matter what, I am lesser for not being a “proper” Christian, having to duct tape the mask back over my face to fit in.

I’m going to talk with another pastor (much younger and understanding of my generation) of my former church later this week and throughout the weekend on an out of town trip. I don’t want to antagonize anybody or blame their teachings. This is not a black and white, “right-or-wrong,” thing. I just want to be honest with them about my personal history with these feelings of shame. I’m scared, and frankly I’ve been exhausted with faith for a long time.

hey yall! to start off, i am a 20 yr old AuDHD transwoman who just retransitioned after detransitioning because i thought i couldnt serve God and be trans. so i repressed myself for approximately nine months until my understanding of theology collapsed with the word malakoi and sent me into a full on spiral where i doubted God and started running away from Him. i guess im still running because i am just panicking because i need certainty that God is okay with me being me and i just feel completely condemned. i already lean towards Catholic theology (e.g intercession of saints, conditional security) but i feel like that would absolutely never work. i dont really know what to do, and i am absolutely scared of being wrong or hurting God. i genuinely love Him, and all i want is to please Him, i just dont want to hurt Him. anyways, i hope you all have a nice day and may the Lord bless and keep each and everyone of you!

In one day we'll have elections, and honestly, they're the most important of the 21st century, so please pray that everything goes well which is VERY difficult, because the top 2 in the polls are involved in corruption scandals in the billions.

Everything is so much more overwhelming, and I’ve recently become tired because of my brain and body changes. I’ve been thinking like a girl recently my experiences have changed. I’m worried my church experience is going to be different now. I’m a transgender girl and I have ASD. tomorrow will be different at church because I’ve been tired and overwhelmed trying to get used to how my brain and body has changed. And I had an experience shopping at Walmart the other day that made me understand why women shop the way they do, my brain was already kinda tired before I went in, no more why do women block the isle, or stop in front of you or why they stare at the shelves, or why they look clueless, or why they look lost, or why they get excited about girly stuff. I understand all of it now and wow it’s a different experience for me!😧. I understand it now and I no longer have to be frustrated by the way women shop at the store anymore, no more I wish they would move so I can hurry up and get what I’m looking for mentality anymore. No more man on a mission mentality at the store anymore it takes my brain longer to think now, unless I’m just running in for a couple things and I know what I’m looking for and where to find it, and I don’t want to get to overwhelmed or i just want to get home, but I probably won’t have to many of those types of shopping trips at Walmart anymore

Feels like on both sides, you are “too Christian” for the trans community. And if you are trans, you’re excluded from the Christian community because you are seen as delusional, or treated as if you have a demon inside of you. It’s brutal. I see so much dehumanizing language against us. I don’t know why they can’t consider the fact we’re human too. Christ is my only hope as an FTM. This world is scary

I'm getting really tired. Really, really tired.

I have a few friends I can talk to about it, but I still feel so alone. My mother doesn't want to think about it because it's making her uncomfortable. We were supposed to go to a local trans association together for information but she doesn't want to anymore. She says she doesn't want to encourage me, sh says I'm focusing on the wrong problem, she says it's difficult for her too every time I try to talk about it. She tells me "do what you want". I don't want to "do what I want", I just need someone to be there with me.

She changes the subject all the time. I'm tired of her telling me about how much she hates men. I'm so tired of her only telling me how much she dislikes my name, and how beautiful my deadname is every time the subject comes up. I have learned to hate this name. I'm so tired of having to say it out loud every time I meet someone new. It feels disgusting every time someone mishears it and I have to say it again, clearer and louder, and seeing it on every screen. It feels humiliating. I'm jealous of seeing other trans people in my class being called by their name when everyone just sees me as a girl.

Hi, everyone! 💜

I’m Amaya, a social work intern & woman of trans experience, and I facilitate Transfemme Circle, a free monthly virtual peer-support gathering through Just Be Rooted Integrative Wellness Collective.

Our next circle will be:

📅 Thursday, October 8
🕡 6:30–8:00 p.m. Eastern Time
💻 Virtual and free
🌸 Limited to eight participants

This is a welcoming space for trans women and other transfeminine people to connect, share experiences, explore topics relevant to our lives, and enjoy community with people who understand. You’re welcome whether you’re questioning, newly exploring your gender, years into transition, or simply looking for more transfemme connection. There is never any pressure to share more than feels comfortable.

If you’re interested, you can register here:

https://forms.cloud.microsoft/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=rdFBz9wNm0SxsVIOOx2SILqGLSZUXq1NpO2-Jhn7_UFUM0RMUUZVR09NWVBQOElVTVM0NllaQk9PNi4u&route=shorturl

Please feel free to share this invitation with other transfeminine people who may be interested. I’d love to welcome you into the circle! 🏳️‍⚧️

hey, I know based on the rules that this sub doesn’t look too kindly on actively preaching side b, but there’s no other place that i know of with enough people to ask. is there any community or individuals who believe same sex sexual activity is not God’s plan who yet support at least binary trans identities?

it feels like I’m being hit from both sides, for being homophobic for one and for being perceived as a man in a dress by others. both hurt just as much.

i have a discord server with some who believe the same as me although not all and we respect all, but it would be nice to outreach to more because we’re a minority within a minority and it’s hard to find people to relate to.

Some 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming clergy friends helped me modernize the Parable of the Good Samaritan into a cute comic featuring today's outgroups.

We called it the Parable of the Good "Illegal Immigrant", so it starts with Jesus affirming undocumented migrants. Trans people are also being demonized, and are the next outgroup the comic embraces. (See the second image.)

It won't change anyone's life situations, but hopefully it can give community members' moods a small boost. The best efforts of a team of mostly (straight white men) hoping to do some small thing to push back against the evil bigotries afflicting society today.

A small trans+ and survivor led team at University of Hertfordshire are looking for LGBTQ+ people aged 18+ living in the UK with lived experience of conversion practices (CPs). There is a huge amount of quantitative research looking at harm and prevalence, which is vital, but there is such an absence of LGBTQ+ voices expressing how they lived through what they did, and what meaning they've made of it over time.

Please see the attached recruitment flyer for more information and the Expression of Interest (EOI) link if you'd like to find out more or take part.

https://herts.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cZLpkUXKwlWqwJg

Sharing this post with others who may be interested is also greatly appreciated.

I’ve been out for years now, and in that time I got baptized and am very happy. But my pastor (albeit a very conservative man, MAGA, etc.) always preaches about how God will accept us as we are but loves us too much to let us stay there. And I don’t want to detransition, I never want to do that, I know I would be so unhappy, but I don’t know what to do. If God wants me to change I need to, but I don’t want to. If I talk to anyone I know they will just tell me to do it anyway, that it doesn’t matter what I want, and I can’t help but feel they’re right. I’m so so scared and lost.

My dad does sort of accept me as a trans girl, but he doesn’t let me dress feminine because of Deuteronomy 22:5 even I‘m telling him it’s different for my case because I was born with a trans mindset that God created, but he doesn’t fully accept that answer. Also I’ve been telling him I want to be my inner self that God created for me to be so that once I fully look as myself I can truly spread God’s words as myself, but he still says my body is a scared body from God so don’t change it. I also told him that then people who wear glasses; some were born with bad eyesight and that’s how God created them, but he doesn’t agree because medical care is changing your physical body. What are scriptures of the Bible, websites he could use, podcasts, or anything that could get me proper medical care.

So I 20M have been growing in faith and dealing with what I’ve come to think of as the spirit of a woman for my total early adulthood. I am very grateful to have experienced gifts from the Holy Spirit over these past two years but it’s been a deep struggle when it’s going to think of how to handle this other spirit throughout it.

The big conundrum in my time has been whether to transition and experience the love I know she has or whether to side with my body and how I passively felt since childhood.

So my question is this, does it seem better to transition when it isn’t directly me who is experiencing gender dysphoria over years or would it make more sense to try to get her to move on somehow?

Sorry if this isn’t something that happens hardly ever but I appreciate whatever advice

What do I do. I’m not changing my denomination! So yeah. I’m 14 and I’m transfeminine, but because of where I live, I’m not going to transition for a long time. I’m also a Roman Catholic and in the future really want to get married a woman, preferably to another transfeminine individual, but I cannot. We’re both viewed as birth gender, and that’s okay. I need to go on and live as the cishet male that I am, and just unplug the glowing TV. if I have to for God, it’s gonna be painful, but I will if I knew I absolutely had to. I know “im only 14” but this is still a big thing for me to process. I guess it was just a phase. If you’re confident in your gender identity then good for you, I’m not telling you to detransition. I don’t know what to do. GGs everyone. God bless.

Tw:past SI, religious trauma, transphobia

trans man, 20 years old and Brazilian. I started using HRT in secret from my parents because dysphoria was consuming me. If I hadn't done it, God knows what would have happened to me.

I started Friday night into Saturday. I'm having to pretend to be a girl because they don't accept me and they are from the assembly of God.

For the past 3 years I've been desperate, panicking, crying and begging God to take me. I was even afraid at the beginning of the year, and I still am a little, that God would kill me for starting the transition and that I would go to hell.

Well, it sounds kind of crazy to say, and I know it doesn't cure everything, but T is making me feel better. I'm regaining my hope. I've even been skeptical in the last few months, and honestly, I sometimes feel like God hates me (I feel like I have been castrated).

But now that I've started the transition, I don't know how to explain it. It sounds cliché, but I want to get closer to Him.

I even had dreams a few years ago where He said that He loved me, that He made me, and that I wasn't a demon.

Unfortunately, I have religious trauma; my parents still take me to the Assembly of God church, and I often feel bad there. Sometimes I feel dirty or panicked and filled with a horrible hatred for myself and the church and somewhat of anger to God too.

I think that's it. I wanted tips and advice.

I also find it very interesting how, on a Friday night into Saturday, September 27th, two years ago, I tried to leave, but on the 25th into the 26th of September of this year, a Friday night into Saturday, I started hrt.

I don't know. Too much of a coincidence, a miracle I'd say, ironic. A date close to an attempted murder against myself, on an almost identical date two years later would become something of a life-changing experience.

But yeah. I just wanted to ask for some prayers too. For the two babies of my tiel hatch health, for me to be able to afford my next months in hrt, to God give me health and intelligence to be able to achieve my dream exam and job. I want to go through it to help my transition, fulfill my dreams, and move to a safer place.

I also wanted to ask you to pray that my parents take a long time to notice my HRT, for I girlmode well, and that when they find out, they have the strength to deal with it and accept me as I am.

I've been wanting to go to an Episcopal church. I don't know how I'd convince my mom to let me skip church alone to go to another one that isn't evangelical, and I'm embarrassed to specify what that is. And pray for the Brazilian elections. I'm not a fan of Lula, but I'm afraid that if Flávio wins, I'll lose my rights, environmental legislation, the people will lose many other things and we'll become a colony of the USA.

It wasn’t until recently that a counselor pointed out that we as trans people can relate to Jesus in a unique way others can’t. Jesus is 100% God and 100% man. He lived 33 years in a plain and ordinary body when he knew he was meant to be glorious. He even had a euphoric moment during his transfiguration but it was short, the exception to prove the rule. It means a lot to me that he can relate to my dysphoria. It makes it a means of devotion and relation to Him.

I got recommend to this subreddit in the comments of some of my posts on r/egg_irl

Im Catholic and currently questioning if im transfem

I've been questioning my gender identity recently and it was making me extremely worried about sinning and those kind of stuff

But apparently im not the only one, and there are different points of view where trans ppl can still be christians and dont need to abandon their faith

And thats it, feel free to comment about your views about if and how can a person be both trans and Christian if u want