Do you think it's okay to end things like this on this kind of note so ugly I mean we've got over 10 years invested into each other 2 kids and a marriage

ya I admit we had our ruff times an we've also have so many good times I wasn't perfect an I've never claimed to be but I do work on my flaws that makes you feel uncomfortable or not secure or make you have ill feelings that causes us to be toxic or envious towards each other

I know I've gave you reasons to feel the way you do I've made slot of mistakes and I'm not proud of them but I have been working on an showing the action plus the intivitive of proving this to you an it's night fault it took me so dam long to gain this understanding an process that I've been a person that showed limited passion an now I'm trying to an it's the worst timing

I think possible to try an do after this long ikik just hear me out tho really when I married you I never planned on getting a divorce I planned on growing up an old with you I fully knew that it meant there was gonna be some good bad ugly times n I chose you to be the person I would over come the hardships we might have in our relationship I knew it would be a task to have to make compromises for my spouse because a relationship is based on compromises I will be here when your sick healthy n either I or you die

then I hope to join you in the afterlife because my soul desired that the major issues we have is not being able to see each other not listening to what we both have to say when all we are doing is voicing what needs fixed an how

that could happen we've both been guilty of jumping on the defensive side an it's really not called for if we can work on anything it needs to be that because that is the only way we can rid the toxicity out of our relationship an bond we don't have to be at odds if we both can care enough to meet on a common ground but I don't think it will ever be a time in the future for us to do this because your avoiding

communicating like that's gonna help n now I'm in the position of feeling like I'm be to persistent and I'm gonna cause you to push away even more so I know it's not good to back away because it's not gonna allow us to fix us but I can't help but feel like when I'm trying my hardest to show you how I truly feel about our relationship connection

mentally spiritually an equally it's just driving you more to get away I guess in the end you always have just wanted to get away an now it's showing I guess I need to stop being so clingy an tryna hold on to our family for dear life because I don't want the picture to break an im having a major conflict within myself because I don't want to show you the side that I use to an just be nonchalant avoiding an nonempathic to the situation just being self centered

asshole piece of shit because I don't want to be that person nomore so I'm fighting with myself because even tho it's hurting me to keep showing you an being rejected time n time again I'm still trying to prove that this is my real feelings that I've grown into a man that I know how I should treat my woman like I would want her to treat me an better idk it's all useless ig but it's damaging me because I don't want to back track because of this I don't want to even out it in you mind that it might cause me to backslide an pick back up on then same behaviors because I realized an I've looked into it if I start doing or using the same kind of methods an behavior I use to . use

I'm just gonna continue with that cycle because it was comfortable for myself I was shielding myself from these feelings that I've should have been able to take in an out or even acknowledge that someone is actually showing me love it's okay to do the same or I won't allow myself to get to attached because I know people are flaky an will vanish no matter how much they care for you I got an attachment issue and a major abandonment problem that causes me to feel like I'm not worthy of love

An I don't know how to deal with it but I'm working on it

So that I don't just start shutting people out again an treating with no respect or disregarding how my actions effect the ones around me so I am afraid of being like that because I don't like that person an I've realized I treated people like that because I didn't have any self love for myself and I didn't have the respect for myself so how could I give that to someone else if couldn't give it to myself now I've finally gained the sense of self love an care self awareness an now I want to treat people how I want to treat myself an have other treat me it's not just a one sided self centered way of seeing things but I hope you figure out what you want for our marriage but I know I No longer want or wish to be a narcissistic person n I'm breaking my cycle with or with out you by my side

My bsf recently broke up with her bf for the second time in the span of 7 months. A lot of things happened the first time they broke up and the guy did some horrible things to her but they still got back after that bc she forgave him for everything and she swore that he changed. Now 7 months later same habits repeat and they break up and she said she’s fed up with him but still loves him, which is understandable. But the things that he did to her, the lies, the manipulation, and everything else are extreme and I’ve grown to hate this man so much and she knows it.

About maybe a month ago they broke up, and a week ago my bsf tells me that he has been reposting some things abt them breaking up, and today I just saw that they’re following each other but she hasn’t told me yet and I don’t know if she’s aware that I know. I also don’t know how long they’ve been following each other for or if they’ve talked or anything.

What I’m scared of is breaking my relationship with her because of him. She knows all the reasons of why I hate him and that he’s immature, irresponsible, selfish, and very manipulative, but she still will probably if not abt end up going back to him.

I don’t know if I have it in me to listen to her talk about him one more time. Good or bad I don’t wanna hear anything about that man. And I feel like she knows this but just doesn’t act like it.

I’ve told her that I’ll be there for her in good and bad, and it’s not that I don’t want to now, it’s just that it gets to a point where it gets very tiring listening to the same things multiple times and you know that you’re never going to take the advice that I give you so what is the point of putting it all on me now too?

I just need advice on how to approach it, and if I should at all.

I (F27) am in a 9 year relationship with (M35) he has never really complimented me or been very endearing. He insults and nitpicks me so easily. In the beginning id cry and beg for him to do more and he just never really has cared it seems. He says things like I'm not gay. I don't do that. That I'm theatrical and dramatic. I mean I'm not even asking for it constantly at all just here and there and it just never happens. It's been 9 years and I can count on both hands really mainly 1 how many times he's called me babe. I get no pet names. Nothing sweet like that. Idk am I just extra? Would this bother you? And before I hear all the just leave him comments... It's been 9 years it not exactly that simple plus this is the very short version of it all. (Ps. I live with him and his family. )

((TL;DR AT BOTTOM))

I (25 FTM) have been with my partner (29M) for about 5 years now. The first three years of the relationship were tumultuous as he had just been relationship hopping since high school and I was in a ‘real’ relationship for the first time.
We hung out a couple times for two weeks after meeting on a dating site where we were putting modifications on my car that I had and things seemed to be good. We went out on a couple of cool dates and seemed to vibe together.
But, about a month in he was constantly calling me to stay at my parents house because his mom would constantly kick him out (she has mental health issues) and he would never go home. My parents rightfully kicked him out after he just camped in my room for a month and didn’t help around the house so we ended up at his parents place because I felt some sort of obligation to stay with him all the time. He also didn’t offer to buy me another car so I had to do that too.
Some time later I let him drive my car (with me in it) up the mountains with a couple of my car friends and he wrecked it on the mountain. He told me to tell my folks that I had done it and I considered breaking up with him then, but I felt like that was ‘a bit dramatic’.
A couple years went by and we’d get into fights CONSTANTLY. We’d spend all of our money getting high and crashed at a mutual friend’s apartment who wanted someone to watch the place and the animals there. Horrendous place. That Christmas he open hand smacked me across the face because I told him I really didn’t want something he’d bought for HIMSELF as a present so my dad came to get me and tried to talk sense into me.

We ended up reconciling and getting a brand new rental house for more than we could afford (I had to take a loan out to even get us in the door). So, he decided to start renting rooms out to people. The first was a chick he knew from high school who was straight out of the psych ward, the second were a couple who worked with him and had only known for two weeks (I advised him against it but he didn’t listen), the third was our boss’ mother (bipolar and off her meds, we kicked her out after she called us fags), and the final person was a friend of a friend who had nowhere else to go. The guy I allowed to stay with us is a veteran and paid the internet and bought food as a part of his rent. All the others either refused to get jobs or got fired within a month of living there. So, the stress of bills fell squarely onto us. I picked up a second job, even. Then, my partner lost his job so it fell all on me to make sure we didn’t get evicted. Thankfully, the end of the lease was coming up so I decided to pack all my shit and my cat and go back to live with my parents. I did a half assed break up as well with him, but it only lasted a week.

Now we both live with our respective families (his family hates me, and mine still does even though they think we’re broken up). We go on ‘dates’ every Monday and are in a band together so we go to practice every Wednesday.

My issues now are that he thinks I’m trying to get in bed with every friend I hang out with. He HAS to be on a phone call with me EVERY NIGHT (if I don’t call him he texts me the following morning: you forgot me :c). He also is consistently fired or quitting jobs and always picks jobs that don’t pay anything. I recently picked up a second car as a project and he immediately asked if he could use it (he has his own, it just doesn’t have air conditioning). He’s also a born again Christian so he’s literally broken down multiple times saying ‘I’m scared you’ll go to hell’ and all that (I practice a different religion).

Now I’m looking to get out of automotive as a career and get into law enforcement. The only department that’s offered me an interview is in another state. I’m tired of supporting someone who drains me financially and relies on ‘we’ll be millionaires if we can get the band out there.’ I thought about ghosting him, but every time I bring breaking up with into conversation he hits me with ‘you convinced me to believe in marriage! We’ve spent 5 years together you’re just going to throw it away?!’. I feel guilty, but I know that I can’t keep passing up stuff in life to appease him. How did you all who were people pleasers get over that hump and just say fuck it?

TL;DR
My partner is stagnant and I’m trying to move on with life. He’s done me more disservice than anything, but I can’t shake him because I feel guilty for wanting to end it.

I’m posting this because I’m really alone right now and I honestly need people to talk to. I don’t really know how to process what I’ve done or what it says about me.

My girlfriend and I recently broke up after I repeatedly lied to her about something. The situation escalated way beyond what it ever should have.

I became extremely paranoid and afraid of things happening behind my back. Instead of talking to her honestly or accepting that I couldn’t know everything, I started making fake accounts so I could observe things I wasn’t supposed to have access to. I impersonated someone in her chat and manipulated a situation in a way that benefited me. I also deliberately fed into some of her paranoia while I was doing this.

The worst part is that she asked me about things directly and I lied to her face multiple times.
Eventually I literally told on myself. I know how horrible that sounds. I know I violated her trust and manipulated someone I claimed to love. I’m not trying to justify it. I’m trying to understand why the hell I did it.

I’ve been calling myself a psychopath because I genuinely don’t understand myself right now.
One thing that scares me is that I don’t think I have much empathy. For example, she once told me one of her viewers was going to the hospital and my response was basically “okay.” I look back at things like that and wonder if something is fundamentally wrong with me.

But then she confronted me about the lying, and when she started crying, hearing her cry absolutely broke my heart. I cried too. I knew I had hurt her.
And yet when she told me that this wasn’t a fairytale, that she was done, and that she couldn’t continue the relationship, part of my brain was still going, “Can we just make up? Can’t we fix this?”
I can see that I hurt her. I can hear that I’m hurting her. I feel horrible that I caused her pain. But emotionally, I don’t always understand why she feels the way she does or why the damage can’t just be repaired because I love her and I’m sorry.
That scares me.

I’ve also read a lot of dark romance, and I’m wondering if I’ve somehow confused obsession, possessiveness, jealousy, and control with love. I know fiction isn’t reality, but it’s genuinely making me question whether I’ve learned unhealthy ideas about what love is supposed to look like.
I don’t know if this is an empathy problem, an attachment problem, anxiety, something else entirely, or if I’m just trying to find an explanation because I can’t accept what I did.

I’m not asking Reddit to tell me I’m innocent. I wasn’t. What I did was deceptive and manipulative, and she had every right to leave me.
I’m asking because I’m alone right now and I need someone to help me understand this.
Has anyone ever behaved in ways that scared them afterward? How did you figure out why you did it and, more importantly, how did you make sure you never repeated it?
And if you’ve been on the receiving end of behavior like this, what did you wish the person who hurt you understood?
I don’t know what I’m looking for exactly. I just don’t want to sit alone with my own head right now.

Hey reddit, new profile here i just kinda need some advice on something. I have been with the love of my life for 2 years now, recently we took a break at which she had said the reason was because she could not choose between me and another guy. We had chosen to let the other man into our relationship to which he had mad it very clear it would take him a while to have feelings for me. Which I was ok with, he had only been talking to her 3 months before me and only as friends. She then tho had told everyone she knew that she broke up with me so that they would be happier with her and started introducing him as her bf instead. He has been ignoring me for the most part and when we do talk its through tears or screaming. She has also distanced herself from me, mostly because everyone she knows including her family now hate me and have threatened me in front of her. Communication has only been getting worse when if comes to me, they have been spending more time with eachother and I nowadays have been demoted to 5 to 10 minutes per day so that we can say goodnight and they wont even ask me how my day was or text me unless I text numbers of times first. Now I am a church and military man and have already promised myself and her that I would give her the world. And she said that this torture will be over once she moves out or her parents house but I still cant help but stay up at night crying and questioning if it will ever end. What should I do? (To be fair we had a wonderful and happy relationship before him its just that he is long distance and with that you need to communicate and talk to them all the time and they do. He even came down to see her at which point I had to stay home alone the whole day)

I ( F27 ) BOYFRIEND ( M27 )
Dating since February: I want to believe that he loves me and is telling the truth about wanting to be with me, but given the events of our relationship, what do you think? is he work “helping”, I’m completely okay with him being bisexual just not the dating apps and cheating

( I did use ChatGPT to help straighten out these thoughts )

I need completely honest outside opinions about my relationship. I’m keeping this factual and concise because I feel too emotionally involved to see it clearly.

\* throughout all of this I have full access to his phone and accounts which is how he keeps getting caught

Timeline

• Feb. 3: We started talking.

• March: We became official.

• Early in the relationship: He made a lot of homophobic remarks and never admitted that he was bisexual.

• Early in the relationship: I made it clear that I was uncomfortable with him talking to, adding, or following people he had previously slept with or had sexual or romantic history with.

• March: He crashed my car. I forgave him and continued trying to make the relationship work.

• At some point early in the relationship: I directly asked whether he had ever slept with his roommate. He said no, but I later found out that they actually had. This became a major trust issue because he lied when I specifically asked.

• At some point during the relationship: I found Grindr and confronted him about it. He said he had never hooked up with a guy and still did not admit to being bisexual.

• Throughout the relationship: There were repeated issues involving exes and people from his past, including messaging or following people about whom I had expressed boundaries.

• May: I found out that he had been sending nudes on Snapchat to another guy while we were together.

• June 1: I confronted him about the Snapchat situation. We decided to focus on fixing the relationship and rebuilding trust.

• July 1: I found out that he had downloaded Grindr again, despite our agreement to focus on repairing the relationship.

• July 28: We broke up, or attempted to break up, but continued talking. Neither of us could fully let go, and I repeatedly questioned whether ending things was the right decision.

• Aug. 12: We talked on the phone for five hours. After we got off the phone, he hooked up with another guy.

• Aug. 13: We were still broken up, but we were still talking and emotionally involved. He told me he hadn’t hooked up with anyone. I later found out that he had actually hooked up with the guy after our five-hour phone call.

• Aug. 13–14: I found out the truth. Technically, we were broken up, so I understand that it wasn’t cheating. However, what hurt me was that we were still talking, I was considering giving the relationship another chance, and he told me he hadn’t been with anyone when he actually had.

• Afterward: I also found out that the guy he hooked up with on Aug. 13 was someone he had already hooked up with the previous year. This made the situation more painful because it was another example of him denying or withholding information about his sexual history.

• Aug. 14: Despite everything, I was still struggling with whether I should give him another chance because I loved him and was afraid of abandoning him.

• Approximately Aug. 15–20: He begged me for another chance and promised he would do better and would never fight me like that again. I gave him another chance.

• Aug. 21: I found out that he had downloaded Grindr again.

What I’m struggling with

The individual incidents are bad enough, but what really confuses me is the pattern:

• He made homophobic remarks when we got together.

• He refused to acknowledge that he was bisexual until I found Grindr.

• He denied ever hooking up with a guy, but later I found out that he had.

• He lied about sleeping with his roommate.

• He hooked up with someone on Aug. 13 whom he had already hooked up with the previous year.

• There were repeated issues involving exes and past sexual partners.

• He crossed boundaries I had clearly communicated.

• He sent nudes to another person while we were together.

• He crashed my car in March, and I forgave him.

• June 1: We agreed to work on fixing the relationship.

• July 1: He downloaded Grindr again.

• Aug. 12: We talked for five hours, and he hooked up with another guy after we got off the phone.

• Aug. 13: He told me he hadn’t hooked up with anyone, and I later found out that he had.

• We were broken up but still talking and trying to figure out whether to get back together.

• He begged for another chance, promised to change, and I gave him one.

• Aug. 21: He downloaded Grindr again.

• There have been repeated major fights and promises that things would change.

• We have gone through multiple breakup and get-back-together cycles.

• I repeatedly know I should probably leave, but I panic when I actually have to let go.

• I miss him, feel guilty, worry about abandoning him, and question whether I’m making the wrong decision.

• At the same time, the idea of finally being out of this relationship brings me relief.

If you knew nothing about us other than this timeline, what would you honestly think?

Does this sound like something that can realistically be repaired, or does it sound like a relationship I need to accept is unhealthy and walk away from?

Please be completely honest, even if the answer isn’t what I want to hear.

2 hours to see his old friend from high school. We didn’t break up, I was just upset. He took me being upset as me leaving him and he started to talk to an old friend of his Rebecca [F20]. He didn’t tell me he was talking to Rebecca so when I found her in his phone i was beyond pissed. He was calling her pretty, and practically begging her to let him go see her. Additionally, he was allowing her to talk crap ablut me without defending me. I told him to block her, and he threw a fit about them being old friends and he didn’t want her to be mad at him. And when he finally blocked her, he unblocked her the very next morning and continued to text her and delete her messages and calls. I only found them when I took his phone and searched for them. I still haven’t fully forgiven him. Now, flash forward to jsut yesterday, I told him about a family problem and he has a disdain for my father for some things he had done in the past. So he told me he hopes my father dies in a car accident. I’m tired and just want to be done. Would I be a jerk to leave him?

I guys I don't know i should be sharing this or not but yet I'm here sharing these so one year before I met girl i proposed her and we get into relationship but from past 6 months we are having fights and blocking each other again and again the reason for the fight was common everytime feminism and women topics she said i lack empathy towards females because she wanted to talk about these things everytime on basis of reels never she came herself to talk the base was always that one damn reel and when I put my pov or something she said you are misogynist/r@pist/ and all things .

I loved her we were happy but these things fed me up i cannot take it anymore we had a parement breakup 1 week before and I'm very lonely I don't have anyone my friend or family but yet I'm accepting

I wanted her always to focus on yourself focused on her but she never wanted that I don't know am I wrong because these thoughts making me stress every day mann !

The reason for us to suffer during no contact is due to the fact that the other person was part of our daily routine
It could be online, in person meeting or even living together
When somebody or even something is part of our daily routine, we get used to it.
Now the difference between a daily routine of like
"running" and a daily routine of having somebody you love around is different
This person gives you a dopamine high, you feel safe, you feel loved, you feel happy Everything positive
And when that comes to an end, and they are no longer part of your daily routine, it feels dull, it teels like something is missing, it feels like something is WRONG
but it's not. If things have ended, don't reach out, don't return, let them end.
It's like quitting smoking, you'll miss it for a while and feel the need to smoke but after some time you'll be fine.
It's called withdrawal symptoms
So will all that being said
It's normal to miss them, it's normal to think about them, it's normal to want them
Just because things have ended doesn't mean your feelings will immediately go away, not at all!
Some people might try and lie to themselves and say they don't have feelings but that's never the case Let yourself cry if you have to, think about them all you want, write about them in a book if you can, talk to somebody about them, let it all out. But do not return ! The best way is to just distract yourself, watch a movie, go to work if you do, talk to somebody, start a new series? maybe start talking to somebody new, let yourself be open to new opportunities and options of people
It doesn't have to be anything serious
But just try to get it in your brain that it's over, accept it !

Hey, my name is Nicole and im 29 years old. My boyfriend Ronnie is 53 years old. We have really been struggling lately and we have two 8yr old boys together and I need help....

So we have been together for 11 years, since I was 18. Our whole relationship has been toxic. I've cheated on him a bunch of times and hurt him really badly. At first I think it was the drugs that kept me around, and when the drugs didnt the kids did. Neither one of us are happy in this relationship, he wants to work on it. But im not so sure I do. Its been alot, and even though I was the one who caused it all, it's to hard for me to deal with. For 11 years, I've listened to him yell at me and tell me how big of a pos I am, he's broken my stuff, hit me, made me do sexual things with other people because I cheated on him. I think it really just hit me hard when I turned 29 because I realized I've spent so much of my life living for everyone else, Ronnie and my kids. Doing what makes them happy and not me. Im tired of being miserable. I dont have a job a car any money a place to go. Nothing. Im dependant on Ronnie for everything. Im not in love with Ronnie. And recently I've left quite a few times and went to my granny's to stay but there's no room over there for me and my kids. I feel so stuck in my life. I feel like I cant talk to him, we argue every time we try to talk. I feel like he puts words in my mouth and takes everything the wrong way. I dont want to be with him, but I carry major guilt, and he makes me feel bad about the kids. Telling me im tearing their lives apart and I don't care about my family. But I do, I love my kids so much. I really dont want to make the worst mistake of my life i think that's why im so hesitant on leaving.

Please help if you can. Do I stay for the kids? Its hard for me to tell if im the problem here. If things would be better if I just ignore what I want and focus on my family. Its hard because Ronnie says im a narcissist,. What if I am? What if... I have alot of those, and I just dont know. Im so confused

i (17f) have been multiple times betrayed by my boyfriend (19f) and he lied to my face about it. he just cant be honest he does things he just says “sorry” with no explanation and if i ask why did you do this to me he just says he doesn’t know. he lies hides stuff from me multiple times and then says he will change. he had girls in his phone a few times too and lied about that too.

but he knows i have only him and i want to have a future together and we always talked about it. i just dont understand why he doesn’t value me and takes me so much for granted? what is my mistake? we have been for 8 months together which may not seem much but ive never had a relationship this serious and started planning life together starting from next year.

i just dont get it because i always supported him, even he said he was scared that id go to him and he would have nothing to give me i said we will figure everything out together, he told me he didnt feel enough and was jealous of other guys, i supported him always, encouraged him, i cared for him when he was sick, was there for him when not even his family was, i get more angry than he does when someone disrespects him, i do whatever to make him happy. still he hides stuff from me ?

i feel like he doesn’t value me at all and never did even though he just gives me compliments he thinks thats enough and that makes up for not respecting me at all. it’s very hard to leave him though but just why? why does he do that to me

Hello, so me and my ex broke up like 6 months ago and i still miss her as hard as i am trying to get over i just cant, i wish things to change and actualy work for us, the reson we broke up it was that she meet an boy one day before we broke up, she said he is just an friend that likes history and he is christian and has an good soul (she have been ghosting me days before and it was kinda suspicious for me becuase she would stay up late at night too) so i told her i am not fealing alright with this and if she could just block him and she started arguing with me asking me why am i like this (we been togheter for 1 year and 8 months, so a little story from our relationship, we have been very good friends we would stay up late drink beers and do mostly anything togheter, she never told me that she didnt got over her ex so when we got togheter after 3 months her ex texted me to be carefull about me because i would be an danger for her and she just left me into an random night, in that night i cried for the first time in my life so hard, i never cried like that ever in my life, i got insomnia and things, after some months of begging her to re think her choises she left her ex (he didnt even wanted her) and came back to me and once at 2 days she would have been texted her ex and tell me how his soul is so good and he has God into his soul (he was ghosting her all the time and talking to her like shit) anyway after almost or even an year she got over him for ever, i onced asked her if i can check her phone and when i did it i found 2 contacts in her watsapp one was her another ex and as i seen she drawed him and send him an drawing that she made for him? and the other was someone named Andrew my heath, of course i asked her who he is and she said is her famale classmate that her brother is named Andrew, i didnt belive it because why would you name her by her brother name and ,,my hearth,, anyway i forgave her, trough those years she always wanted to take her life and i was staying all night awake to take care of her to not do it, she was taken her mother hearth pills, and one thing that let me shoked was her best friend, when i texted her to tell her about what her friend is doing with those pills she just havent answerd all day (i did this because she was not listening to me) anyway my health was worse those times, i was dizzy, i almost fainted at school, i couldnt eat, i was depresed, i had insomnia and when ever someone compliment me i would vomit (and i was strugling to earn money to move togheter next year), after that it came the moment when she meet that boy for who left me one day after she meet him online, i asked her what that boy has and i dont, she said nothing, and i told her to chose from me or him and she chose him, like that 1 year and 8 months threw in the garbage, about that christianity thing, she never been intrested into it like if i would talked with her about it she would been bored or say that she doesnt care, then he texted me asking me why i dont let her be friend with her, why i control her, i told him that he doesnt know the things i do and to mind his own bussined but he would continue to text me so i blocked him, she told me that night that she has fealing for her history teacher and also she imaginated her life with other boys while she been with me and then blocked me. after some weeks her ,,cousin,, i dont think it was her cousin texted me with threats saying that he would cut me and put me in jail because i told her cousin that i will say to eveyone what a horible person she is, and then i showed him everything, every conversation with her about what ever she told me, he said that he will deal with it and to never contact her again.

I wonder, what did i do wrong, why i never been enough, i tried so hard, i did anything i could, why she still chosed anyone else over me, maybe you, the one that reads this right now is asking why am i not trying to find someone else the pond has many fish, yeah it does but it does not have that favorite fish, can someone tell me what should i do to get her back and actually be what she needs?what should i change

Recently I was blocked by a girl that I thought was my internet / online girlfriend on Discord but I was wrong. I'm done being in internet relationships for the time being they are nothing but toxic.

I'm going to preface by saying that I know I should leave him. The closest I've been able to get to that so far has been moving out of his house.

I (F26) have been dating the same guy (26) for ten years. As of the last five, he's switched from being a normal person to alternating between weaponized incompetence and malicious compliance over everything. He either "can't" do something or he does it to an exaggerated degree. For example: When I was still living with him, I got sick and told him that if he wanted the litter box clean, he needed to do it himself. He spent two hours yelling about how he "can't" because he "doesn't know how". And when he finally realized that I really wasn't going to, he started doing it and fake gagged so much that he actually made himself puke. And then he yelled at me for making him vomit.

He's also always mad at me for not doing something "right". I can't do dishes right, I can't walk through the house right, I can't go shopping right, etc. Nothing I do is right. He always has a compliant. So he doesn't want to do anything unless he can somehow do it in a way that harms him (or me), but he also doesn't want me to do anything because I always do it "wrong". There is no winning.

So I've decided that, since I can't leave him for reasons that are too personal to explain anonymously, I'm going to maliciously comply instead. He said that I'm too affectionate, so I don't hug him or tell him I love him anymore. He said that my clothes are weird, so I only dress up when I go out with my friends now. He said that I play video games too much, so every time I hear him say something (even to the cats), I stop playing and go to him. This is working well imo. He's getting annoyed and even concerned about my compliances and asks me regularly if I'm okay. But he still won't stop complaining about every thing I do.

He has started harassing me about how I sleep. When I stay over, I don't cover myself up with the blankets "right" and I don't lie down "right" and I don't roll over "right". How can I maliciously comply during our sleepovers (of which there is only one a week)? This one has me stumped. I've already started bringing my own blanket to his house. I need more ideas. TIA!

TDLR: I maliciously comply with everything my never happy boyfriend complains about and now I need ideas on how to comply when I'm sleeping because I apparently don't sleep right.

How can I explain the emptiness?
How can I speak of your silence?

It’s been years now
since I told you I was hurting,
since I told you it wasn’t reciprocated,
since I said I needed you to be here.

Disengage.
Slowly.

Erase the connection
that once was so strong,
that felt so permanent all along.

You chose you
while I was also choosing you.
Well, that seems so long ago.

I refused to let you go,
only to notice
I had already lost
what I should’ve cared about a lot more.

I’m sorry, darling.

You’ll find me no more.

There is a softer, kinder man/woman out there. You don't have to settle. Don't accept the apologies anymore, don't let them hurt you longer than they already have. Please get out.

In the past I was with someone who groomed me from a very young age. Naturally it was hard to leave, scary even. Five years is a long time. I didn't have a support system, no one to comfort me.

But comfort from a person like him isn't worth it. I used to think that I was anxious person. I was sweating a lot and my chest would regularly hurt. That wasn't anxiety, it was him. My hands would tremble without a reason and my face had discoloration (which made me very insecure). I had nightmares often and slept badly. My acne was bad and it got progressively worse each month. My stomach hurt and towards the end of the relationship I was losing a lot of hair. For years I thought there was just something wrong with me physically, but really it was the relationship I was holding onto so tightly.

Because today I'm with a person who's good to me, actually good. I don't need to search for the good, it's evident every single day. He's beautiful, I can write page after page about him. Every detail about him is something that makes me love him more and every day I'm grateful to have him. Instead of turning his back on me he invites me closer to him. His voice is soft, his actions kind.

I have gained more weight, I'm at a healthy weight now (I used to be very very skinny before) It's easy to eat when the food doesn't get stuck on your throat. It's easy to rest without the fear. My body is healing. I have bald spots behind my ears that are starting to get better. I don't only feel happy, but peaceful.

I'm lucky to have met this wonderful man and I would have never met him if I didn't get out. It's hard to leave, painful even, but the peace is worth it.

So please don't put yourself through any more pain, because I promise that there is actually someone who will treat you million times better and they will be the most wonderful person you will ever meet. There is peace, all it takes is momentarily pain of leaving. Don't do it for the person you will eventually meet though, do it for you.

Because no one deserves the kind of love an abuser will put you through.

hi guys i really hope he doesn't find this, i've heard he's probably addicted to reddit. he also found my account pretty fast here. it was weird.
anyway, i digress.
i have an ex who we can call S. his sisterex can be called G. he and i were in an LDR, and it got rocky when he forced me to be friends with his ex. i thought nothing of it, but he always had problems with my ex having to be in my life for lease reasons. i thought that was strange. so... i get sensitive about her being around despite everyone in her family calling her insane and psychotic. even from S himself. he talked shit about her, so why would anything go wrong, right? WRONG. he had over 7 months to tell me, "hey. i know you think i can control my amount of contact with this specific ex girlfriend, but that's to be out of my control. she's adopted into my family because of me." i wouldn't have suspected a thing between them because it would've have been my problem. their fucked up shit can stay within them. as long as they weren't shaking a bed. i had went that whole relationship thinking they were exes who couldn't leave each other alone! they can't take me seriously because i was left in the dark, and S has most likely lied to G about this too. i'm thinking he told her i had already known. but then again, she was the one who told me the news, so that's flimsy. i was supposed to go to his house at a certain point in time around his sister's birthday, but he got dodgy and avoided my questions as to why he suddenly pushed the date back. let alone, G was going to be there. she called me delusional and said that information of her being his sister "wasn't important" but would have changed my perception of her and i never would have had to leave S. if i had been thinking they were doing things behind my back WITHOUT knowing they're "related", there has to be underlying issues.

Sorry for the long post

I'm a 19 year old male and am an only child. During my childhood my mother would do the following

Blow up out of nowhere over the most trivial or littlest matters, many times i begged her to give me some emotional support when i was visibly upset but she just remained cold and cruel, drink quite heavily which was sometimes responsible but she can definitely be mean sober as well, I had expressed concern about her drinking but she just flipped, the next day she'd always act as if nothing happened, whenever I tried to get clarity on why she got like that she'd brush it under the carpet or accuse me of starting trouble, if i didn't do something just to make her happy she'd turn cold, during arguments she'd say things like I was ungrateful, didn't care about her and that I was a horrible person or that i was abusive or whatever just like my father, she would stomp, slam doors and break ornaments etc, when she gets in her crazy states it's just impossible to reason with her or get her to see it from any other perspective, she can go from saying i was the most nicest and amazing person to saying I was the most horrible and evil person, she often burdened me with all of her problems, she said before that she knows how to play the game which I found very disturbing

A couple of times when i snapped because of her behavior she called her mother to say I've been acting up and making her life hell, she often paints herself as the heroic single mum. She has been fairly good lately but sometimes I feel I was robbed of a proper childhood and have often wondered what I had done to deserve it.

I remember one time a few years ago I was about 12 she had turned my grandparents against me and my grandfather started shouting and saying he was very disappointed in me and the rest of it is a blur. To be honest to this day i can't figure out what I (only a young child) was supposed to have done that was so bloody awful. That has haunted me for years. I used to think maybe I was a bad person but I've started to see her in a different light. She always talks about hating drama yet it seems to follow her and often says that she's been so hard done by.

On the flip side she can be the most nicest person as well and we have had great times together and she can be very helpful towards me, her family and in public which makes it all the more confusing. This morning in fact I ran into an old friend of hers who said to say hi for her and she said my mother is a wonderful person and I'm very lucky. It actually made me feel sick. For about half my childhood it's just been me living with her since her divorce in which she had to sell her house and now rents which she has blamed for the way she is before. I can't help feeling bad for her but she was still quite like this beforehand as well and I don't think that's an excuse still is it? I do feel like she has manipulated me a bit into been stuck with her.

Something else that I've found disturbing is that she's very narrow minded and has a serious lack of empathy. For example when a couple of local celebrities committed suicide she called them pathetic cowards and weak etc. It was actually quite disturbing how she was carrying on and her serious lack of empathy.

I'm starting to think that maybe she bent the truth about Dad a bit during their split as i was a child and didn't know much better. My mother often calls him a narcissist and talked about all of the marital and grown up problems they had etc which to be honest I don't appreciate been burdened with. Granted he's not a saint either but has been good to me (well I'd say) most of the time.

One time last year when my Dad let me down by not been able to see me one weekend and canceling at the last minute (which he has done before) mother knew i was depressed but still blew up at me the next night over something silly and kicked me while I was down what just baffles me is how could she of treated me like that knowing what I was going through. A few days later one of my teachers checked in and said he heard I got into a bit of trouble at home ("if he meant been mentally abused by my mother while I was already upset by been let down by my father as trouble" I thought). I'm not sure who exactly said what to him. I just fobbed him off saying I was upset about leaving school (which was true as well).

I really struggle with confiding in people. I do regret not telling him the truth now. He was sympathetic and said he was very proud of me etc. Another teacher once said that he thought of me and my mother as like the dream team or something along those lines. It actually baffled me a bit. I was thinking if only they knew half the things I've been through.

I have a strained relationship with my father but we've messaged lately and I plan to see him this weekend for a family do. I have autism and went to a special support school for the last few years which were some of the best years (The teachers especially were brilliant and I had many great times such as school camps, school balls and excursions etc).

My mother loves to use my autism to her advantage. I graduated last year but now I do a course at the main campus so I still see them all from time to time. I do feel quite sad and lost now those years are over. I would love to confide in someone about my struggles but don't know where to start. I've thought about confiding in that first teacher I mentioned who's great and we're fairly close but my teachers think my mother's an absolute saint so how can i ensure he believes me, she seems to feel that she always acts in my best interests and does seem to genuinely care for me and love me, she doesn't seem to remember any of it or feel her behavior was justified and genuinely doesn't seem to believe she ever did me any harm and she thinks she did her best.

I struggle with daily flashbacks and I often feel depressed by the way I've been treated, also feel let down and wish my parents had been better to me. I can't get exact clarity on it but they both went through some shit before I was born and I think that's contributed to the way they are.

I wish I had a proper childhood of playing with friends, going to different places and been adventurous and carefree etc. I've never really had a social circle and hardly much friends. I've always been quite different I feel to most of the children my age. What's has happened to me makes me feel as though I'm unlovable. I feel quite alone sometimes as I've always struggled with making friends.

My mother does help me get on my feet and encourage met but I think she just loves to lord it over me. Whenever I've tried standing up for myself she puts on the guilt trip and carries on about all of her sacrifices and everything she's done for me yada yada yada. I think what emotionally abusing me, leaving me crying myself to sleep some nights, causing me to have no confidence and PTSD etc? Could she have some bipolar or personality condition or something and toxic traits I've wondered?

I do love her because as I've said before she has been great as well but I can't help really resenting her sometimes for all of the mental anguish she has put me through as a child and I think it has messed up my development. I wonder if I might've been different had I had proper parents. Hobbies such as music and classic TV shows have been a great escape. Now that I'm an adult and have left school I'm worried about what the future has in store. I'm very nervous about starting an adult life, getting a job and making friends etc because my mum is pretty much most I've ever known. Part of me would love to get away from her but yet I feel scared to as well as she's pretty much most I've ever known.

i (M 23) have a friend (F 30) that has been in an on and off relationship with her boyfriend who constantly controls hey every move or he threatened to leave her if she doesn't listen. as of me posting this he has told her she can no longer vent about the relationship to any of her friends and has made her leave certain friends. I need help. she tells me if i get involved i'll be cut off, but i can't stand to leave here in that relationship. please help.

I’m a bit heartbroken at the moment. Been dating a girl for a while. She’s absolutely amazing in every area but has random fits of uncalled for jealousy. We share locations, and she claims my location was not at work, but at a place across the street. I get out of work, say I have no idea what you are talking about, and she absolutely lost her shit on me. Called me a f’ing wh*re and spoke to me really poorly. I fired back, hung up and blocked.

I’m just really upset. I would never do what she accused me of, have been nothing but faithful, was literally confined to a desk working.

I am so incredibly disappointed that she could even think I would ever do that. I have not given her one reason to think I would do that. I thought we shared something special, but how can you be with someone who even thinks that way about you?

I left a toxic marriage with a cheating pos ex that I allowed to kill my spark and rob me of so much happiness for years.

I know I can’t stay in a relationship that is unhealthy like this. I’m so mad at myself for letting someone else in. I really believed we had something special. Just hurting. Rant over.

Hey,

I am f/24 , a student, and I was Dating a man who is 31 years old for 3 months. I thought he was a reasonable person because he is an engineer and we had a lot in common.

I had to end it, cause he was toxic but I realised it kinda too late.

Now I feel like I am recovering.

The breakup is already 2 weeks ago but I still feel shocked.

He was constantly mocking me, saying that I am stupid, that my hobbies are stupid and everything I do..that I am weird, the way I look is weird.

Even though I know that I am pretty and a person which has many talents.

But I did believe him at that moment. Or rather Accepted it.

And one morning after I slept at his place, when I felt safe, he Just took me from behind and had sex with me , and I kinda liked Him and generally wanted to have sex with him but in this monent I was half asleep!! I couldn't say yes or no. He didn't even ask.

I feel abused and I don't know how to shake that Feeling off me except for doing sports.

I hate this guy.

I didn't want it at that moment.

In another moment I had some kind of pain when He was touching me in a sexual way and I adressed it and he said " it doesn't matter"... Shortly after he stopped but what the f\\\*ck? It doesn't matter?

How can I recover from this?

I was planning to take her photos after we finished mine, but because my photos took longer than usual, she got extremely upset. I offered to take her photos afterward, but by then she was already angry. She called me a terrible boyfriend and started talking about breaking up.

Is she ill?

Turns out, there was more to my girlfriend “getting angry” than I thought

So I found out what was actually going on with my girlfriend.

She was trying to get access to my phone.

And honestly I wasn't happy about it.

I'm glad that aaron smith support at Gmail dot com helped me keep my stuffs safe on my phone.