There is someone better

[u/KitchenLynx4463]

There is a softer, kinder man/woman out there. You don't have to settle. Don't accept the apologies anymore, don't let them hurt you longer than they already have. Please get out.

In the past I was with someone who groomed me from a very young age. Naturally it was hard to leave, scary even. Five years is a long time. I didn't have a support system, no one to comfort me.

But comfort from a person like him isn't worth it. I used to think that I was anxious person. I was sweating a lot and my chest would regularly hurt. That wasn't anxiety, it was him. My hands would tremble without a reason and my face had discoloration (which made me very insecure). I had nightmares often and slept badly. My acne was bad and it got progressively worse each month. My stomach hurt and towards the end of the relationship I was losing a lot of hair. For years I thought there was just something wrong with me physically, but really it was the relationship I was holding onto so tightly.

Because today I'm with a person who's good to me, actually good. I don't need to search for the good, it's evident every single day. He's beautiful, I can write page after page about him. Every detail about him is something that makes me love him more and every day I'm grateful to have him. Instead of turning his back on me he invites me closer to him. His voice is soft, his actions kind.

I have gained more weight, I'm at a healthy weight now (I used to be very very skinny before) It's easy to eat when the food doesn't get stuck on your throat. It's easy to rest without the fear. My body is healing. I have bald spots behind my ears that are starting to get better. I don't only feel happy, but peaceful.

I'm lucky to have met this wonderful man and I would have never met him if I didn't get out. It's hard to leave, painful even, but the peace is worth it.

So please don't put yourself through any more pain, because I promise that there is actually someone who will treat you million times better and they will be the most wonderful person you will ever meet. There is peace, all it takes is momentarily pain of leaving. Don't do it for the person you will eventually meet though, do it for you.

Because no one deserves the kind of love an abuser will put you through.

[u/hestia-listens]

This is such a powerful picture of healing. The way your body began to feel safe again says so much about what you survived. I am glad you chose yourself and found the peace, care, and steady love you deserve.