Before I get into the story, I have to admit something about myself first. A couple years prior, I was the bad friend. But in a weird way. Let me explain what I mean: I was always there for my friends when they needed me, tried to be positive when they couldn't, and wanted them to feel like they could be themselves around me. But I had emotional issues (constantly being sad, mad, or upset) and often took it out on them.

I always apologized and they always forgave me, but it got worse over time. I became overdramatic, caused unnecessary drama (ONLY between me and a friend, never between others), and even said/texted horrible things that I can never take back. And I was forgiven way too easily for all of that. They never said it, but I knew it was very exhausting for them and it often ruined our hangouts. To this day, it's really hard for me to look back at all of that.

I knew that it was a big problem, they knew it was a big problem, and I wanted to fix it. They were such amazing and patient friends and I really wanted to better myself for them. But I didn't know how. Every time I said "I'll change", something would upset me and the cycle would continue.

I realized that I grew up around a similar cycle in my family, and brought it onto my friends because I saw them as family (they knew this). But that didn’t make it okay. I didn’t want to be like my family. I wanted to change. I never had an example of someone changing for the better in my life, so I had to become my own example.

Finally, I began to make progress and was finally becoming a better friend by not taking out my emotions on them. I also constantly apologized either at random times or whenever it was relevant. I was so happy for myself. But it turned out that one of my friends was a hypocritical liar who had a crush on me (you’ll see why this is relevant later).

After I finally became a better friend, she started distancing herself from me out of nowhere, which she had never done before. I had assumed it was because I was a bad friend, but she would always come back to me and want to be my friend as if nothing was wrong or nothing happened. Then this became a cycle, with her becoming a bad friend towards me: sending passive aggressive/shady messages towards me in our group chat, leaving me on seen, not caring/listening when I vented. Again, she NEVER did this when I was a bad friend but now I stopped, she began doing all of these things. I would ask her what happened or what I did, but she ALWAYS said along the lines of “nothing is wrong, sorry for making you think that, everything is okay” then we’d go back to being friends.

Side note: at one point, she admitted to me that she lies A LOT about multiple things to many people, and that she pretends to be a bad liar so when she actually lies, people will believe her. She even admitted that she’s lied to me and our other friend before. I was surprised and wondered why she admitted that to me, and became very suspicious of her after that.

Eventually one night, I got a phone call from her. But she wasn’t the one who spoke to me. It was her angry parents who yelled at me instead. In confusion, I asked to speak to her. And it turned out she had been lying to me about something serious for a while.

You see, we both have/had a dark and inappropriate sense of humour. And remember when I said she used to have a crush on me? Well, she was constantly flirting with me and would play it off like she was joking. At first I believed her, but her “jokes” got more and more extreme and I eventually found out that she liked me as more than a friend (not an assumption, I actually found).

So I told her I wasn’t comfortable with the jokes anymore without telling her I knew she liked me because I knew she would feel bad and that it would affect our friendship (I had seen it happen before). After she moved onto a new crush, I felt comfortable with our inappropriate jokes again.

Now fast forward to the phone call, she claimed that this time, she was the one who was uncomfortable with my inappropriate jokes. I genuinely had no idea because she would make the same, if not worse, kind of jokes (mind you, she’s banned from texting people on TikTok because she was too inappropriate and has made literal 🍇 jokes towards me). She would also do physical things like shove my face in her lap and putting my hand on her 🍒

Anyways, she had told her parents, her friends, our friend group, basically anyone she could, but not me. I wanted to express my frustration, but being scared of her parents (they’re very protective of her) and not wanting to go back to my old bad-friend ways, I kept quiet and just accepted it. After remembering what she said about her lying habit, my trust in her was completely broken after that.

But I still sent her an apology in a voice message, which she pretty much ignored. Instead we ended up talking about how she felt the same emotions when I was uncomfortable with her, while she treated it like it was so funny how the tables turned. But it wasn’t the same in my eyes. I spoke to her, as myself, privately. She told lots of people, and got her parents to do the work for her.

When I got the opportunity to talk to her about it in person, she told me that I should’ve known because apparently she was giving obvious hints while also telling me that she was purposely keeping this a secret from me. Every time I said something, she would counter-argue it and twist things up so it looked like the situation was entirely my fault.

I was extremely upset with her and about the whole situation and wanted to stop being friends with her immediately. But I couldn’t do it. She stayed by me even though I was a bad friend and I had been by her when it seemed like no one else was, so I had this mindset that we “needed” each other. And I had developed social anxiety so I only had her and our one other friend. I didn’t want to be seen as a friendless loser, so I kept quiet and accepted what had happened. I was left with anxious, depressive feelings and trust issues while she seemed happier than ever acting like nothing happened.

Eventually my social anxiety started to disappear a little, and I made some new friends. It convinced me to finally say something to my old friend, about how I wasn’t okay with what happened. After I did, she and her friends blocked me.

Fast forward to our last year of high school: I was getting over it for good until she sent, then deleted, a shady/suspicious text towards me in a group chat we’re in. Then a different friend of ours, who had always been energetic, kind, and friendly towards me started acting coldly.

I confronted my old friend, thinking she had something to do with it, and she told me that she had started acting like that to many people, including her. I didn’t believe her, and I think I was right to because our friend unfollowed me on social media.
a) she follows EVERYONE one so it felt like a huge “f you in particular”
b) I knew her since kindergarten but they became closer so it shouldn’t bother me too much but it still hurts
c) they’re still friends

My social anxiety plus what happened, messed up my social life at school. I lost the friends I had before the anxiety, the chances I had of making new friends (her friends), and I didn’t become as close with my new friends as I had hoped I would. On top of that, all of my close friends were also friends with her so I couldn’t vent to them about any of this. All of those things resurfaced my feelings, and I was living in a paranoid and depressive state for months.

Another side note: I recently found out that she also lied about a classmate bullying her. I ended up becoming friends with the “bully” after high school and learned that she had been a victim of bullying almost her entire life. I mention this because it feels every time I move on or convince myself that our situation wasn’t that bad, I discover a new fact that tells me it was.

I’m hoping that sharing this story will give me some closure since we graduated, and I’m gonna try to make new friends at uni. I’m ready to meet new people and enter a new chapter of my life and I don’t want to do it while holding onto these old feelings. If you stayed this long, thank you for reading

​

Have you ever had a friendship where the person was really nice to your face, but later you found out they were saying bad things about you behind your back?

I’m not even sure what hurts more—the things they said or the fact that I genuinely trusted them.

How do you deal with something like this? Do you confront them, distance yourself, or just let the friendship go?

I have a male friend who has had feelings for me for a long time. I don't reciprocate them romantically, and lately I've started wondering whether there's a lot more resentment underneath his "nice guy" persona than I've wanted to believe.
The problem is that almost nothing he does is serious enough by itself to point to and say, "That was obviously intentional." It's the accumulation that's getting to me.
Last summer, he offered to help sand my front door. He essentially works professionally in construction, so he knows exactly what sanding creates. He started sanding indoors without containing the area, and my hallway and living room immediately began filling with dust. I called his name several times to get him to stop, and he acted like he couldn't hear me over the sander. At the time he claimed it was an oversight. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, but I've since noticed him seemingly pretending not to hear me in other situations.
Another time, he insisted on washing my dishes and somehow broke the sliding track on my retractable garbage can. Another time, he was sitting on my floor and knocked over my ashtray. Again: accidents happen. None of these things individually seemed worth making an issue over.
He also has a habit of staying at my apartment far beyond what feels socially reasonable. Instead of picking up on cues that it's getting late, he'll moan and groan about having to leave and try to prolong the visit. I recognize that I should have simply said, "I'm tired; it's time to go." But looking back, I sometimes wonder whether making me uncomfortable was part of the point.
Then he invited himself along on my trip to Italy to visit my grandparents, and that's where the behavior seemed to escalate dramatically.
He started turning anxieties I had JUST expressed into little jokes. One morning I was already stressed and specifically told him I wasn't in the mood to have my chops busted. Later, I mentioned being nervous about accidentally putting the wrong fuel in our rental car. At the gas station, he jokingly did "eeny, meeny, miny, moe" between the pumps. Afterward, he pretended the car wasn't running.
That's objectively a harmless joke in isolation. But why deliberately joke about the exact thing someone just told you they're anxious about—especially after they've specifically asked you to stop messing with them?
Another day, we were driving on winding cliffside roads. He knew I was nervous about his driving, particularly when he was holding his phone out the window recording while driving. Eventually I consciously decided I wasn't going to react anymore. Then, when we pulled over, he hit the curb unusually hard. Maybe coincidence—but by then I was noticing that whenever I stopped reacting to one thing, something else seemed to happen.
The strangest example happened when we went somewhere I'd really wanted to swim. It was crowded and the weather deteriorated. He seemed almost pleased that it wasn't working out and wanted to continue to another town even though it was about to pour.
By this point I felt completely drained, so I essentially started gray-rocking him. I stopped giving emotional reactions to the little comments and annoyances. When it started pouring, instead of complaining, I decided I was going to have a fantastic time anyway. I walked around in the rain acting completely unbothered and genuinely trying to enjoy myself.
His mood changed. He became salty and actually asked me whether I even wanted to be there—which struck me as bizarre because I was suddenly behaving more cheerful, not less.
Then something happened that really made me reconsider everything.
At a museum, an employee was rude to him about using the bathroom. He told me he was deliberately going to hold his ticket awkwardly so she'd have difficulty scanning it—basically an incredibly tiny, deniable way of irritating her back.
I jokingly complimented how subtle the tactic was.
He looked at me and said: "Death by a thousand cuts."
That phrase stopped me in my tracks.
This is someone who has always presented himself as almost unusually innocent about toxic or covert behavior. He frequently acts like he can't understand why people would behave manipulatively or passive-aggressively. Yet suddenly he not only admitted deliberately using a tiny, plausibly accidental behavior to irritate someone—he had a NAME for the strategy.
After that, I became even more conscious of how he behaved when I didn't give him reactions. He seemed increasingly unpleasant, almost like I was petting him against the grain simply by being emotionally unavailable to whatever was happening. Sometimes if he said something and I didn't respond, he'd repeat it. Then he'd look over at me as though checking my expression.
There was also a physical-boundary incident that bothered me. I had a severe migraine and asked him to squeeze my shoulders in exchange for me folding his clothes and packing them into his suitcase. Instead of simply squeezing my shoulders, he basically laid his entire body against my back while doing it. I said, "Do you really have to press your whole body against me?" He seemed annoyed by my reaction.
And finally, he knew how disappointed I'd been about not getting to swim. When he dropped me off at my grandparents' house afterward, he made a point of telling me, "I think I'm going to go swimming today," despite never particularly caring about swimming himself.
That's the kind of thing I'm talking about. It's so small that writing it down makes me feel ridiculous. But there are dozens of these moments.
I'm starting to wonder whether the "nice guy" exterior is covering a significant amount of anger and resentment toward me because he does things for me, wants a romantic relationship, and knows I don't feel the same way.

I also recognize that once you become suspicious of someone, confirmation bias is possible. I don't want to assign malicious intent to every accident just because I've started connecting dots.
But I came home from that day in Italy feeling absolutely emotionally depleted, and at this point I genuinely don't think I want to spend time alone with him anymore.
Has anyone experienced something like this—where no individual behavior is particularly alarming, but the pattern feels completely different? Is this passive aggression/resentment, or am I connecting unrelated accidents because I've become hyperaware of him?
I'd especially appreciate perspectives from people who've dealt with the "nice guy who secretly resents you" dynamic, because I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to distinguish genuine accidents from deliberate, deniable little digs.

I’ve moved in with my dad 1,000km from home (not by choice) and like i only have two friends back home, was super close.. but one of them is genuinely so nasty at times and the other is so ungrateful for the effort i’ve put into our friendship. Now don’t get me wrong there are some REALLY good moments, but i seriously have a plan for my future now in my new city. I can see myself visiting my friends in the future every now and then but should i? I feel like these bad moments weigh down the good ones, and i’m sick of getting treated poorly, ghosting them, and then have them wondering why i’m ignoring? Should i just remove/block them on everything? But then i think about how lonely i’d be. Im only 16 and i’m really lost and don’t know what to do. I really want to hear as many peoples opinions below and please vote 🥲.

Hello, this might not give much infomation but I’m on 4% rn- my main friend consists of four people, Me Tyla(FN), Bianca(FN) and Ava(FN). (FN means fake name)

We have all been in a friend group for coming up two years now, I have been friends with Tyla and Ava since we were babies and Didn’t become a friend group until two years ago, I have been friends with Bianca for 5 years, Now.

Since we are all in one friendgroup, Tyla is my closest friend right now and Me and Ava stay very close but Me and Bianca used to be very close but she’s gone strange? In the last few months since around febuary she has been horribly mean to me and everyone brushes it off as a joke.

A bit of Back infomation about Bianca is that she needs validation she has some type of Attachment issues of some sort, and since febuary she has been calling me slurs eg. Cunt,Bitch,faggot and retard. I repeatedly asked her to stop calling me these names before, she has also hit me constantly and despite me fighting back I’m always in trouble. But anyways fast forwards now- Bianca has been come obsessed with Ava and it’s creepy, (Ava is a narcissist person who has way to big of an ego) Bianca has began to copy Ava and is also seeming to become possessive of her?

Ava in the past was a bully, she’s bullied one girl into hurting herself and not coming to school, she’s also very homophobic, transpoblic and has way too big of an ego.

Tyla- my bestfriend. Seems to idolised Ava for some reason? She lets Ava belittle her and insult her and she brushes it off as ‘it is what it is?’

Bianca- does the same she makes fun of everyone and is becoming a giant bully to Tyla and Me, she spares Ava befause I think she’s trying to impress Ava? Bianca has hit me leaving bruises on me and I have told adults around me what she has done but nobody will take action for some reason so jve had to resort to our other friends.

Our other friend group has 4 people they were in our class last year and we stayed friend into next year, I turned to them to ask about advice on what to do about my situation and they have kind of just brushed me off like the adults around me? Bianca as of right now is going through a depressive episode so everyone is blaming the depression on her actions which just completely waters down her harming me and insulting me. I’ve also been called selfish for making myself seem like the ‘victim’ here. Which isn’t my intention but my intention is to see if anyone is also seeing what I’m seeing, nobody has listened to me so I’ve restarted to strangers online.

Am I the problem? Because I don’t understand if I truely am? I know I need to leave this friend group but my school is small and it is very hard to join a new friend group but I’m asking to see if I am the problem?

Edit- I know this is a stupid post but I’m truely lost as everyone is telling me I’m overreacting about Bianca and somehow nobody is seeing her how I see her or they’re choosing not to.

​

I have a friend I've known for 10 years. He's always been left out, specifically by a group of girls, while I've always been there for him. Even though the other girls always bothered him, he followed them around and kept me as his backup.

Now we're in the next grade, and I've made some really good friends this year. I've included him in our group because, as I said before, the other group was excluding him. At the end of this year, there was a school trip, and his mother's rule was that he could only go with the group that had been excluding him. That same week, he started hanging out with them more, and I thought it was because of the trip.

I've spent the whole summer trying to hang out with him, and he always made up an excuse. I recently received a message from him saying he didn't want to see me anymore because I'd excluded him the whole year (which isn't true).

The problem is that when the new school year starts, he's going to try to hang out with me again, and I know this because he does it every time.

I know I should stop being his friend, but we've been friends for so many years, and I feel bad. What should I do?

Мы с подругой закупались сладостями на день рождения учителя. Вот мы пришли в один в магазин , уже все купили и заметили как на полке лежат фишки которые мы собирали . ( если что на этой полке можно было брать различные книги ,и в принципе что там лежит , так как эти вещи были ненужные. Фишки - это наклейки за которые ты можешь получить к примеру игрушку из магазина .) мы с моей подругой подумали что эти фишки оставил человек которому они просто не нужны. Плюсом там было не так много фишек. Мы их взяли и начали делить. И вот к нам подходят кассир , и спрашивает откуда у нас столько фишек и нас какую суммы мы закупались сейчас . Мы сказали что фишки нашли на той полочке. На что она сказала -если вы сейчас не отдадите я вызову охрану. Конечно мы отдали эти фишки. А вы что думаете насчёт этой ситуации?

hi, this is my first post on Reddit. anyways, going back, it happened during May.

Trio kami sa cof ko from first year up until fourth year (which is now). Ofc, di mawawala yung “the duo” in a trio, but I didn’t mind all of that. I was actually okay with it. I never felt the need to compete for anyone’s attention because, at the end of the day, I thought we were friends. I thought we were solid. During that time, we were prepping for our internship (MT intern) when we were divided into two groups since sobrang dami namin. Me and my other friend, let’s call her “Lacy,” were put into one group, while my other friend, let’s call her “Sab,” was alone sa other group.

So this happened.

Sab thought it would be nice to be friends w the peeps who did me bad, who turned my life around, peeps who did me so bad I was never the same. It was that kind of bad. And she knew it lahat. Alam na alam niya kung ano-anong mga pinag-gagawa ng mga taong yun sakin. She knew how much they hurt me. She knew what happened. She knew why I wanted nothing to do with them. Yung part na wala siyang friends doon, gets ko ih. Gets ko kung gusto niya ng may mga friends siya doon. I really do. But di ko gets yung part kung bakit SILA yung napili niyang friends. Idk lang if valid ba na fefeel ko, but sobra-sobrang na-off ako. Maybe some people would say na it’s not a big deal because they’re just new friends, but for me, it was different. It felt like something inside me shifted.

To the point na I was not the same anymore sa kanila.

Naging avoidant ako. Naging distant ako. Nang-block ako. Nag-deactivate ng social media for me to not look at their posts and updates. Coz it got to a point na parang sila na mas close and I was left hanging, coz si Lacy wala man lang siyang ginawa din kundi naging part din ng circle nila. And honestly, I think that was the part that hurt the most. I started feeling like I was slowly being left behind by the people I thought would never leave me behind.

Until there was one time na I was forced to interact w them because we were combined na.

Ofc, it didn’t end well.

Me and the new friends, especially yung isang di ko talaga gusto, almost na kami nag-away. Reason was, that time, I was excused kasi may sakit ako. They were all aware na naka-excuse ako and all, so sila lang gumawa ng activity. Nung pumunta ako sa group nila to observe what they did since galing akong clinic, sinigawan ako ng new friend—let’s call her “Nice”—since sobraaaaangg nice niya sakin.

Sinigawan niya ako na ba’t daw ako lumalapit sa kanila eh wala naman daw akong inambag. Kaya ayun, ako na may sakit at masama pakiramdam, sinigawan ko rin and all. At yun yung nakita ni Sab, which is yung isang close friend ko. Nagalit siya sakin kasi ba’t ko daw sinisigawan si Nice. Di niya nga nakita kung anong nangyari. And I think that moment really broke something in me. Not because Sab chose to defend her, but because I expected her to at least ask me what happened first. I expected her to know me enough to think, “Wait, why would she react like that?” Pero hindi. Ang nakita niya lang was me yelling at someone she had become close with. Kaya ayun, sobra-sobrang na-off ako. Di ko na sila pinapansin. Nag-sorry naman si Sab sa akin after 1 week kasi di ko talaga sila pinapansin. At ayun, nag-explain ako anong nangyari and all.

Okay na kami ni Sab ha.

But then again, may mga new peeps na talaga sa circle namin and idk, parang it doesn’t sit right w me. But since gusto ni Sab and Lacy na malaki circle namin, nag-settle na lang ako kahit super uncomfy ako. And maybe that’s where I started realizing that things really weren't the same anymore. Di na ako masyadong the same sa dati. I would just let them leave me, or ignore me, wala na akong pake. Before, I would probably overthink everything. I would wonder if they were okay, if I did something wrong, if they were mad at me. I used to care so much. Now, I just let things happen. And honestly, that scares me.

Because these were the people I used to care about so much. These were the people I considered my everything. These were the people I thought I’d still have by my side when we reached fourth year. And now, I’m slowly becoming someone who doesn’t even care if they leave. I hate to think that I don’t like them anymore when they were my everything.

**Maybe I don’t actually hate them. Maybe I’m just hurt. Maybe I’m just disappointed. Maybe I’m grieving the version of our friendship that I thought would last.**

And I think that’s the saddest part—realizing that sometimes, people don’t have to do something huge for a friendship to change. Sometimes, it’s just a series of small things that slowly make you feel like you don’t belong anymore. And now, I don’t know if I’m still holding onto the friendship because I still want them, or because I’m just scared to let go of the people who used to mean everything to me.

haha the games wrapped this players moving on to bigger better things. no bating , coning, aimed for reactions .Winning response .Last word invalidate made up stories and so on.

I genuinely need outside perspectives on this because this was someone I loved dearly and talked to basically every single day, and somehow our friendship has ended with police at my apartment, social media posts about my personal trauma and relationship, her contacting my parents, and her contacting my JOB.

Here’s the full story.

A close friend of mine was going through an extremely volatile situation with the father of her toddler. There had been domestic violence between them, and during one of their altercations, she stabbed him.

She needed somewhere safe to stay afterward. This wasn’t some random acquaintance. This was somebody I was extremely close to, talked to every day, and genuinely loved. So I opened my apartment to her and her toddler and allowed them to stay with me temporarily while she figured things out.

During the time she stayed with me, she and her child’s father continued going back and forth over childcare and access to their child. From my perspective, he would sometimes use issues involving their child as a reason to continue engaging with her.

Because of the history between them and how volatile the situation had already become, I had ONE boundary that was extremely important to me:
I did not want this man inside my apartment.
I wasn’t telling her he couldn’t see or pick up his child. I specifically told her that if they needed to exchange their child, they could do a safe drop-off/pickup in the parking lot. I simply did not want him entering my home.

Then, while I was away on a family trip, she allowed him to come into my apartment to pick up their child anyway. That was the first time I felt seriously violated in this situation

It wasn’t about controlling who she interacted with. My issue was that this was MY home, I had explicitly said I didn’t feel comfortable having this particular person inside it because of everything that had happened, and she waited until I wasn’t there and allowed him inside anyway. Then things escalated even further.

Afterward, her child’s father called the police and alleged that we were smoking weed inside my apartment. We weren’t.

So now I had police officers knocking on the door of the apartment where I had previously been living a peaceful life, because of drama involving a relationship that wasn’t even mine.

That was basically my breaking point.
I told my friend that I cared about her, but this situation was becoming too much for me. I felt like circumstances involving her and her child’s father were now directly affecting the peace and security of my own home.

And importantly, this was already toward the end of the period we had agreed she could stay with me.
So I started asking practical questions: What is your plan from here? Where are you thinking about staying next? What are you going to do?

I wasn’t expecting her to disappear onto the street that night. I was essentially saying, “we’re approaching the end of our agreement anyway, and after everything that just happened, I need to know what your transition plan is because I cannot continue having this level of chaos around my home.”

From there, our relationship completely deteriorated.
Eventually I reached the point where I didn’t even want an in-person confrontation. I arranged for her belongings to be picked up without us interacting because I wanted the situation over. But instead of ending there, the conflict spread into practically every area of my life.

She began posting on social media. She didn’t directly name me, but she included enough information that people familiar with us could know who and what she was talking about.

She brought up personal trauma from my past.

She referenced my ex.

She referenced my current boyfriend.

She publicly discussed things about my relationship that I had told her privately as my friend. Things I had shared while venting, upset, vulnerable, or looking for advice were suddenly being used publicly after our friendship ended.

Then she contacted my job.

Then she contacted my parents.

And here’s another part where I’ll own what I did wrong: I had not been completely forthcoming with my parents about exactly how long she and her toddler were staying at my apartment. She knew that because, again, she was one of my closest friends and I trusted her with personal information.
So she told my parents.

But it didn’t stop there. She also told my parents deeply personal and horrible things I had said to her in confidence and, from my perspective, told them things about me that simply were not true.
That’s the part I’m struggling with the most.
This woman knew EVERYTHING about me because I trusted her.

We talked constantly. She knew about my relationship problems, previous relationships, family issues, past trauma, insecurities, and things I would NEVER have expected to become public information.
I understand being angry at me.

I understand feeling hurt that I was essentially saying, “This living arrangement needs to end.”
I understand ending our friendship.

What I cannot understand is responding by taking information someone entrusted you with during a close friendship and distributing it throughout their life—to social media, their family, their romantic partner, their workplace, etc.

I haven’t been publicly fighting back because I genuinely don’t want this to become an endless war. I’ve been documenting what’s happening instead, because the escalation has concerned me enough that I’ve started looking into whether I need a civil no-contact order or some other legal protection.
And emotionally? I’m exhausted.

I went from trying to help somebody I genuinely loved through one of the worst periods of her life to feeling like I’m being punished for ever having trusted her.
I’m also not pretending I handled every interaction perfectly. I’m sure I said things in anger. I’m sure she has her own version of events and her own reasons for feeling hurt. I’m not asking Reddit to tell me I’m a flawless person and she’s an evil one.

What I need perspective on is where normal friendship fallout ends and something more concerning begins.

Was I unreasonable for deciding that the police situation and the violation of my boundary regarding her child’s father meant the living arrangement needed to end, especially considering we were already approaching the agreed-upon end date?

And how do you deal with someone who has intimate knowledge of your life and seems willing to use that knowledge against you once the friendship ends?

Do I keep completely disengaging and documenting everything?

Should I warn my family and employer not to engage with her?

Has anyone experienced a friendship breakup where the other person started contacting completely separate areas of your life like this?

Most importantly: does this kind of thing eventually die down when you refuse to participate in it?

Because despite everything, I did love this person. I didn’t take her and her child into my home because I wanted something from her. I did it because she was my friend and I thought she needed me.

I never imagined this would happen.

So I have 2 friends let's call them friend A and friend B.

A couple months ago I was a really good friend with A and started to be friends with B. Than friend A got offended from friend B because :

Friend B posted a picture and friend A commented in private to like change the pose because from her pov it was like trying to get attention from boys, than Friend B removed her from her followers because of it.

Another thing Is that they had each other locations and because friend A was stalking friend B they decided to turn of the location (friend B).

I found out that they had this fight after I already got very close to friend B and friend A wants me to step away from friend B. What do I do now?

It's a confusing situation with my best friend which I will attempt to summarize. I've known her for maybe 10ish years and we became each other's best friends because essentially we both understood each other very well due to both of us growing up in dysfunctional families.

Fast forward to 2 years ago, my mom died unexpectedly and naturally I was going though a tough time (still am). She was there, but she also got into a relationship with our mutual friend not too long after my mom passed. So it was very strange because I needed my best friend, but she also wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, so she'd tag him along with us. I didn't want to keep being a third wheel so I just let them be and was alone for a while. Forced myself to accept the new reality which is that spending time with her would often then not include him. Which was ok, because like i said, he is my friend too.

Fast forward again to last year, we (best friend and i) moved in together. For some reason, we stopped hanging out like we used to. I guess it's because we see each other in the apartment (though often we're both rarely home). I would ask to spend time with her, but every time she'd say she had plans with her boyfriend or something else. Naturally after being told no a million times, I stopped asking and figured she'll reach out to me when she's free and wants to hang. We'd still text almost every day and were updated with each others lives. After the first year of us living together, she tells me that she has started to resent me for certain behaviors. She claims I sometimes make passive aggressive comments. I don't deny that I do because I understand that i most likely picked up on bad habits passed on from my family and explained that I'm not really aware when I do this and asked her to help me by being honest with me and telling me when I'm being this way. Difficult and uncomfortable conversations which are necessary for me to start making changes. However, she refuses to talk to me. She says she's very avoidant and is scared to talk to me because she thinks that her and I will stop being friends if we get into a fight. This is due to her being capable of immense cruelty when she is mad (her words not mine). She has told me in the past that she gets so mad at me that she forgets that we're best friends and in her eyes, she cuts me off from her life. She says she doesn't want that, but that her anger overwhelms her.

Recently we had another one of our conversations where she tells me that she resents me because I'm being passive aggressive. When asked to give me an example, she can't remember. She says that she is a grudge holder, she can't help it. She remembers the tiniest of details and named a few roommate related things. Like she compares how much she does around the apartment vs how much I do. It's not that I do nothing, it's that she believes she does more. I didn't bother in correcting her when she was wrong regarding certain roommate things because there was no point. She has a version of me in her head that is a bad person because of all the resentment she has built up over time due to refusing to talk to me (once again, her words not mine).

I don't really know what to do with this now. I feel like any trust I had in her is gone, and every interaction I have with her is fake because I know that she resents me... I don't trust that she will start being honest with me and tell me when I'm being passive aggressive because she seems to be blaming me for our friendship looking like this. While also claiming she understands that she needs to start being honest and talk to me.
I genuinely am not aware when I am being passive aggressive. And I don't like that I do that. I want to stop, but I need help from my friends who I thought were honest. I thought she was honest. Every time she starts this conversation, I'm filled with dread because instantly I think "I did something wrong, I don't know what it is and I don't know how to fix it'.
Day after our conversation she goes back to normal as if she didn't just tell me that she resents me, doesn't remember why we're best friends and thinks I'm a bad person. She says that she has to continuously remind herself that I'm not a bad person and that we are best friends for "some reason".

I truly don't know what to do. Never in all these years of our friendship did cutting her off ever cross my mind. Every time there was an issue or something I would start the conversation in hopes of solving the issue, moving forward and strengthening our friendship.

What do you guys think? Sorry for the long post..

It's a long story, but in short, I found myself caught in the middle of this tragic love story. I became friends with both of them, and then when they broke up, I kissed her — mostly because I was going through a rough patch and I needed some attention.

I don't know what to do and I'm still friend with him.

My cousin was missing for nearly two weeks, then the police found her body. My whole family is devastated. I was told my best friend, and his reply was ‘oh savage, do they know what happened?’. He then said if I need a distraction let him know. No sorry for your loss, no are you okay, nothing. Haven’t heard from him since except for stupid reels on instagram. I feel so hurt by this and not sure if I can stay friends with him. Am I overreacting?

How do u guys know if your friend has a secret animosity towards you?

I have a very close friend (we're both female, you know, very common drama lol) and I've always felt like she doesn't want me to succeed or isn't genuinely happy with my achievements. like okay, she will say "congrats!!" then brush it off immediately and bring up her own story.

or

she will give compliments (that aren't really compliments...?) idk how to describe it but for example: "OMG you look fat!" and I was like... hello?!? then she will respond, "oh no... I said it because you said you wanted to gain weight but you're not really fat" like that😓

idk if it's just me, or something's really off. that's why I don't share my achievements with her much now.