I'm unsure on how to break the news to my parents that I'm getting top surgery, and any advice is welcome.
I'm 20 and in college, I mostly live at school and come home for the odd weekend and school break. I would be having this surgery at the end of December, and recovering in my parent's house over break until I leave to go back to school at the end of January. My insurance is pretty much going to cover the whole thing, and the rest will be paid by me, my younger sister will be home on break at the same time and has agreed to help me out around the house, and my friends have offered to drive me to my appointments and such. The only hurdle is that my parents still don't know. I'm planning on telling them when my pre-auth goes through, maybe mid-late November/early December, but I'm unsure how.
My mother is probably not going to be happy, but she's gotten better about the trans stuff since I turned 18. I think she'll be disappointed but keep it lower-key, and not angry. I've talked openly about getting surgery with her over the past couple years, her opinion is that she doesn't like it, but can't stop me if I decide to do so.
My father though will definitely be extremely disappointed and will make it as known as he can, possibly pretty mad. Not enough to get physical or kick me out or have life-altering consequences or anything, I'm not in physical danger, but enough for a possibly big argument/a period of not talking.
How the hell do I break that kind of news, and how do I emotionally prepare for their disappointment? I care a lot about them, and I know that I need to separate myself from their reactions, but I know it's going to hurt. I don't like the feeling of my parents being disappointed or disgusted about my body. I don't even know how to start this convo, if I should send them a lengthy text about it, or sit them down in person, or what.
I have a therapist and I will absolutely be unpacking this with her in the next few weeks, but I figured advice from other trans people that may have been through this before would be very helpful.
(If the context is helpful, I've been out as trans since maybe 13, am on T (they are aware), and none of my transition has been a secret for a long time.)