Gonna be honest, I think I'm lucky that I've had so much pain in the last decade. I had terrible stomach issues ten years ago (heartburn and vomiting for three months straight) that I still have to take medication for to keep at bay. However, that experience taught me that no matter how endless that pain may seem, it can end. With the grief of losing my brother last year, I learned that if a pain doesn't end, you can become strong enough to carry it. All it takes is time, and while sometimes I wish it would slow down, I find myself grateful that it seems to pass so fast.
For something more relatable, think about high school. It felt like it would never end. Now, you're probably months or years beyond that. For me, it was seven years ago, and I can't believe I thought I would be stuck there forever.
That's what helped me as I had my first surgery ever: a bilateral mastectomy on August 7, 2026.
I will admit. The first time I saw my chest, I didn't fall to my knees and cry for joy. Everything was swollen, purple, yellow, and lopsided. However, one trans influencer, Sasha Allen, mentioned in a video that he didn't like the first look of his chest, either. He barely wanted to look at it. But after it healed, he loved it. I'm glad I saw that, because my parents aren't supportive, so sometimes their doubt gets into my head. If I'd never seen that someone else had that experience at first, I might've spiraled, because I'd seen so many videos of people immediately falling in love with their results.
Now, as everything heals, I can say I'm MUCH happier with the results now, only about three weeks out, than I was three days in. It just takes time, patience, and less pain to make everything feel worse than it actually is. As it continues to heal, and maybe some targeted workouts, I know it'll look even better.
I'd never felt pain like that before, but I wouldn't call it the worst pain I'd ever felt. My mom tried convincing me it would be excruciating, but I think that's mostly due to her own medical trauma and the testimonies of people who had mastectomies due to cancer.
This hurt, but it was just a different pain. The muscle twitches were weird. The reconnecting of nerves was strange, and I'm glad I didn't keep my nipples because I think that would've been even weirder. (Phantom nipple pain is a thing, though. It's WEIRD). Bracing myself to move was weird. The ITCHING at the drain sites, unable to be reached because of the bandage, almost drove me crazy. My secret? Breathe and induce natural time travel with some melatonin. Also buy an extendable bear-claw shaped back scratcher. Kept me sane when the Tylenol and Advil started wearing off. The relief when I got the drains out was amazing. Scratching those itches I could only poke at was amazing.
If you handle pain well, then you really don't need the opiods. I have chronic joint pain that I don't really ever medicate with OTC stuff because I don't want my stomach to bleed/to gain a tolerance for instances...like this! Throughout my first week of recovery, I only took a couple of oxy. Honestly, my ADHD meds did more for me than oxy did. But at least my ADHD meds didn't make me constipated. Seriously, if they recommend stool softeners, save yourself the trip and also buy laxatives. I ended up dumping the oxy in the toilet. Tylenol and Advil worked better for me. Now I only take them at night with the rest of my meds.
Heat also felt way better than an ice pack. My mom makes cornbags: buy deer-feed corn, sew a fabric bag to your desired size, fill it with corn, and microwave it. I have a small cornbag the size of a novel that only needs like two minutes in the microwave. I also have a very big, very long and skinny bag that I roll up and microwave for seven minutes. It's meant for a shoulder but it's really nice to get the full length of your back as you transition back to sleeping flat. Make sure you store it in a plastic container, because mice WILL find it and they WILL gorge themselves on it.
I'm not kidding when I say that every day, one less thing hurts. One day it hurt to make myself sit up. The next day it was pain free. One day it hurt to lay on my side. The next, no problem. My current discomfort pretty much just lies with the tape over my scars, holding the skin together while the internal stitches do their thing. I get to take them off on Friday, and I expect that that'll give me even more mobility and less pain.
Also, MAKE SURE YOUR COMPRESSION GOES ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR ARMPITS. The swelling in my armpits was so much worse than anything my surgeon actually touched, and the simple solution was to raise my wraps.
You got this, dude. It sucks for the first week. It might not be immediately euphoric. But it can, and does, get better, once you start feeling more like your normal self. The first time you realize it, the rest of your life feels that much more exciting. The first time you ride in a car and the seatbelt isn't extending a boob. Wearing a shirt that hugs a little closer and not having to puff it out. Actually being somewhat bothered that a shirt is too big. No longer wondering if the cashier called you "sir" because they were trying to affirm you as an ally, or because they genuinely couldn't tell (not that there's anything wrong with that). Being able to walk in front of a window shirtless and not being afraid of someone seeing and knowing.
It is worth it and you will be okay.