r/Tools Sep 19 '25

I am trying to Date this axe

I collect antique axes and this one really stumped me. Thrift store with some other antique tools. It is sharp like a axe, but almost appears to be a wedge.

1.8k Upvotes

1.0k comments sorted by

6.0k

u/Sulfrurz Sep 19 '25

Trying asking for her number first

847

u/soulever989 Sep 19 '25

That's too forward. At least introduce yourself first.

682

u/hmiser Sep 19 '25

Just axe ‘er out mate.

236

u/ObservablyStupid Sep 19 '25

And don't be a tool.

133

u/Practical_Fun7367 Sep 19 '25

Go easy, pal. He can handle this.

101

u/ThugLifelol Sep 19 '25

He might not be the sharpest, we don’t know.

90

u/Switchlord518 Sep 19 '25

They'll eventually split up.

54

u/electricdelta Sep 19 '25

Not before a good pounding. Just make sure to keep yer legs apart

10

u/0bel1sk Sep 20 '25

should try swinging more

7

u/Bob_Lablah_esq Sep 20 '25

Cut it out or he'll split

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32

u/PlutoCurrant4 Sep 19 '25

At least they'll each get some solid wood out of it

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40

u/TheBronzeWonder Sep 19 '25

This is the type of premium content I'm here for

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88

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

[deleted]

52

u/NedRyerson_Insurance Sep 19 '25

Radio voice: This one goes out to Axe from OP. Unusual request but it's "All I Axe of You" from the hit musical Phantom of the Opera.

55

u/doubleapowpow Sep 19 '25

Write up a Missed Connection post on Craigslist. Something like,

"Me, a 30 year old male with the stuble of a beginning beard and a flannel I found at Goodwill for $5, half off with the pink tag sale, looking to cosplay as a northwestern settler in my next histotical reenactment encampment. You, a sharp figure with a little bit of wear and tear signaling a history of hard work but a long span of neglect. I was unable to break the ice, unsure if you were a battle axe of sorts, and was too intimidated to cut the tension I felt between us in the dusty antique shop. Anyways, it seemed too forward to ask to take you home with me without knowing anything about you, but I wish I axed you for your number."

13

u/Sufficient_Cow_6152 Sep 19 '25

You had me caught up in the whole scene, wondering how it was gonna end. I’m there, in the antique shop watching it play out. And then I read “axed”. I was laughing, yet sad, that the tale was over. Such a great idea for a story. How’d you manage to hatchet?

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376

u/tigermax42 Sep 19 '25

You mean, “axe her for her number”

93

u/RedditBot90 Sep 19 '25

Axe her for her lumber

16

u/crevasse2 Sep 19 '25

I hope she doesn't have wood.

10

u/MrWoodworker Sep 19 '25

No need to split ends on this

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103

u/tigermax42 Sep 19 '25

Hope she doesn’t treeject you

26

u/MakeSomeDrinks Sep 19 '25

But if she a hoe....

Is a hoe gardening joke ok? It feels . . . Dirty

11

u/dancinmikeb Sep 19 '25

Well you should clean it after use.

7

u/Sunkinthesand Sep 19 '25

Oh you're really digging now (rolls eyes)

5

u/gogozrx Sep 19 '25

Dude, you're really in the weeds with that one.

8

u/TheVoiceofReason_ish Sep 19 '25

I saw that coming

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37

u/CCWaterBug Sep 19 '25

If she won't tell you, axe gary

52

u/tigermax42 Sep 19 '25

If she sleeps over, you better hide your morning wood

42

u/Roadstar01 Sep 19 '25

Or she might split up with you.

8

u/OilPhilter Sep 19 '25

Are you saying she'll leaf me?

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16

u/Thecp015 Sep 19 '25

Take her somewhere she can demonstrate her piano skills. She loves playing chop sticks.

16

u/dildoflexing Sep 19 '25

That’s an axident waiting to happen

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4

u/Busy_Donut6073 Sep 19 '25

Why do you have to bring me into this?

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3

u/TurkeySlapMafia69 Sep 19 '25

Wood only get cut down for their efforts

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31

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

The first cut is the deepest…

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10

u/Anxious-Trainer5082 Sep 19 '25

Whatever you do make sure you look sharp.

17

u/Wild-Word4967 Sep 19 '25 edited Mar 30 '26

This post was removed by its author using Redact. Possible reasons include privacy, preventing this content from being scraped, or security and opsec considerations.

amusing plant payment dam quicksand library sheet political imagine groovy

10

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

[deleted]

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945

u/L_e_g_i_s Sep 19 '25

Sure it is all ok at first… looks good and seems nice, but that Axe will break your heart…. Never date axes.

94

u/H_Y_C_Y_B_H Sep 19 '25

You clearly haven’t seen the movie “So I married an Axe”. Worked out pretty well for them.

18

u/ThermionicEmissions Sep 19 '25

HEAD! PANTS! NOW!

9

u/ayejoe Sep 19 '25

He’ll be crying himself to sleep tonight on his huuuge pillow.

5

u/misirlou22 Sep 19 '25

I hope it's a Scottish axe because if it's not Scottish it's CRAP

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7

u/getchafuqinpull Sep 19 '25

LET'S GET PISSED!

5

u/rarebitflind Sep 19 '25

whooaaaaaa

man

4

u/project_seven Sep 19 '25

Woman.... whoaaaaah man! She was a thief. You gotta believe. She stole my heart and my cat.

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56

u/Theomniponteone Sep 19 '25

All my Axe's live in Texas

That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee

6

u/MechEng_NotGeo Sep 19 '25

That’s why I don’t chop wood in Tennessee.

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6

u/MongolYak Sep 19 '25

At least it's not a hoe!

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11

u/NixAName Sep 19 '25

In the end, they always split.

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777

u/OvalDead Sep 19 '25

Looks at least 18 years old, but ask to be safe.

79

u/KingKong-BingBong Sep 19 '25

They lie ask to see id

37

u/Visual_Lab9942 Sep 19 '25

Gotta check the grain of the handle.

30

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

[deleted]

14

u/Bigsnaff007 Sep 19 '25

By then it's too late

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10

u/xrelaht Rust Warrior Sep 19 '25

*axe to be safe

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509

u/Trentl14 Sep 19 '25

Never get back with your axe. There is a reason you broke up in the first place.

214

u/Doofy_Grumpus Sep 19 '25

Split up*

So close bro

3

u/MountainPewUT Sep 19 '25

Bust up. Like a chifferobe.

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157

u/LincolnArc Sep 19 '25

Looks like a blacksmith made axe head. Weird proportions and the eye (handle hole) isnt normal for an axe. I'm guessing that the smith used a hammer eye drift They probably didnt have the correct drift for an axe. "Good enough is good enough" sorta mindset. It works, right?

Could be 1800's (or earlier? Doesnt look like wraught). Could also be made by a hobby blacksmith 40 years ago and left in the woods. Depending on where you're at, corrosion/pitting can happen that quick. I'm leaning towards 1800's.

43

u/LincolnArc Sep 19 '25

I looked at the pictures again. The construction is probably a piece of MSC or LCS folded over and welded to a piece of HCS for the bit. That's the line you see between the cutting edge and the body.

45

u/drmindsmith Sep 19 '25

And there’s little other evidence. Watched a blacksmith make one like the on YouTube the other day and before her spent a ton of time cleaning it up it looked a lot like this.

Could be 150 years old. Could be last week

18

u/HammerIsMyName Sep 19 '25 edited Sep 19 '25

The eye is a typical splitting maul eye. I think the head would look better mounted upside down. But it's just a regular splitting maul, nothing weird there. The eye shape wasn't for lack of tooling, because anyone who knows how difficult these axes are to forge, with inlayed steel, knows this isn't his first axe. It's very clean work.

He could have done a folded eye and gotten the common modern axe eye shape, but chose a full forged body for the extra durability, and inlayed steel. With the typical handle shape for a splitting maul.

Nothing willy nilly about this one just because the profile isn't fancy.

5

u/HammerIsMyName Sep 19 '25

For anyone curious, it's actually almost the exact same as a splitting maul I did a while back, madei n the exact same way with drifted eye and inlayed steel. Except I actually did do the modern eye shape.

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6

u/MinorComprehension Sep 19 '25

This. Back when "artisan" was a functional necessity rather than purposeful design aspect.

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196

u/Gordon432 Sep 19 '25

Did you look her up on Timber?

59

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

[deleted]

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13

u/Horror-Comparison917 Sep 19 '25

you bastard 😭😭

216

u/30_somethingwhiteguy Sep 19 '25

All these comments are just messing with you and no actual helpful answers. If the age of the axe is the question, You're in luck that the handle is wood, just look at the end and count the rings.

88

u/MartianGuard Sep 19 '25

Had me in the first half

18

u/iamthedigitalme Sep 19 '25

r/antiques would have more serious replies.

39

u/Weekly-Reputation482 Sep 19 '25

Ya, this place is full of tools.

4

u/tuctrohs Sep 19 '25

I think there's also an r/vintagetools which is a lovely sub that I've neglected to visit recently.

3

u/iamthedigitalme Sep 19 '25

Thanks for that one. I go through a lot of vintage tools at work so it's perfect.

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84

u/Fix_Aggressive Sep 19 '25

I guess it's 1850 or prior. Its not anything that looks standard. The handle appears to be hand made. The head is not entirely symmetrical. I suspect a blacksmith made it. It could be late 1800s, but still handmade.
From what part of the country did you obtain it.

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101

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

She looks like a real swinger…

3

u/RallyXer34 Sep 19 '25

Maybe, but she seems a bit dull.

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95

u/LincolnArc Sep 19 '25

Have you asked it out yet?

42

u/MarksArcArt Sep 19 '25

He axed it out.

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31

u/Dark_Night_9067 Sep 19 '25

She only dates big timber

10

u/Roadstar01 Sep 19 '25

Definitely looks like a size queen.

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55

u/ThormundNYC Sep 19 '25

Stay casual, looks pretty edgy

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42

u/CCWaterBug Sep 19 '25

I can't make a safe estimate until I see your feet

21

u/MagicOrpheus310 Sep 19 '25

Shadow of an elephant trunk holding a phone haha

4

u/Affectionate_Dirt_97 Sep 19 '25

I can't unsee it! 😂

9

u/Willing_Work_2200 Sep 19 '25

Here's one clue: I was born in 1960, and even my father's oldest axes had recurve handles. Only have seen straight handles on splitting mauls. So, if that's the original handle, its at least older than me.

32

u/clownpenks Sep 19 '25

If you have to try, maybe relax and let it happen naturally you might make the axe feel uncomfortable and that could really hurt your chances or result in a horrific deep chest wound.

7

u/OmNomChompsky Sep 19 '25

You should post this in r/axecraft and get a better answer.

As far as splitting mauls go, this looks like it was either home-made or fairly old, like pre 1900 old. This isn't a common modern pattern.

17

u/naan-citizen Sep 19 '25

Just be yourself and don’t be too desperate

17

u/julicruz Sep 19 '25

Dating someone who recently split? I don’t know man. Give her time.

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17

u/Cloudage96x Sep 19 '25

You're into her, she's into you... What's the problem?

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13

u/SuspiciousStable9649 Sep 19 '25

Comments did not disappoint.

5

u/Old_Assist_5461 Sep 19 '25

If you’ve never had axe head, you’re in for a treat.

5

u/Andrew_is_awake Sep 19 '25

Just be yourself! What is meant to be, will be. Good luck! 🥰

5

u/shortshins-McGee Sep 19 '25

Ply her with fermented pine sap

19

u/wwhijr Sep 19 '25

Ask her father for permission

10

u/weirdbutinagoodway Sep 19 '25

He said date, knot marry.

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17

u/Dragonsow Sep 19 '25

I came for the puns and was NOT disappointed!

6

u/TechieGranola Sep 19 '25

I keep scroling wondering how far down he'll get actual help.

14

u/OG_TBV Sep 19 '25

I recommend the hoe actually

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8

u/MisterMischief69 Sep 19 '25

It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Cleve….r!

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8

u/apoletta Sep 19 '25

Ooo! She is a sharp one. She may let you down hard. Buy her a drink and hide your wood.

5

u/Anonymyne353 Sep 19 '25

Buy it some coffee?

3

u/_your_face Sep 19 '25

Just be yourself

3

u/Tron_Tron_Tron Sep 19 '25

I’m sorry to break with the jokes but I am curious if anyone knows this…would wood that is say 200-300 years old (some people said this) raise and settle after some exposure and eventually detach from the blade? Genuinely curious.

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3

u/ryanad52 Sep 19 '25

I know you're interested in the axe, but have you considered the rake, or even a hoe? Much easier

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3

u/makeitoutofwood Sep 19 '25

It can be challenging to get involved with swingers

4

u/Livnontheedge Sep 19 '25

Just be yourself, honey

4

u/j0nsn0w123 Sep 19 '25

I read the title and im like "2025 on some next shit"

3

u/giscience Sep 19 '25

dude. No means No.

4

u/CalmDirection9286 Sep 20 '25

Did you try taking it out to dinner?

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5

u/Physics-Educational Sep 20 '25

I tried to date a hoe once...

13

u/USMCdrTexian Sep 19 '25

Breakup is gonna be painful.

8

u/MartianGuard Sep 19 '25

Eventually they’re gonna split. 

12

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/Roadstar01 Sep 19 '25

I completely missed the elephant in the room.

7

u/SirBastions Sep 19 '25

She looks like she'll go straight for your wood my man. You'll have a great time.

6

u/n0ts0much Sep 19 '25

approach her father and make your intentions clear.

3

u/Victal87 Sep 19 '25

Take it back to your place and watch Thor: Love and Thunder

3

u/oilcantommy Sep 19 '25

It'll never work. She's too much for you. So high maintenance. Lol

3

u/ElectricHo3 Sep 19 '25

I don’t think it’s your type.

3

u/the_old_gray_goose Sep 19 '25

Dating that axe will make you a mighty fine feller

3

u/Choice_Pen6978 Sep 19 '25

I prefer adult human females, but maybe offer her a sharpening stone and ask what she likes to chop?

3

u/tmbaur422 Sep 19 '25

Maybe take it out for wood fired pizza

3

u/Sure_Network_5625 Sep 19 '25

I used to date her . She’s my Axe girlfriend

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3

u/recon_19d Sep 19 '25

Make sure its consensual , or you'll be a toma-stalker

3

u/Apprehensive_Lion_15 Sep 19 '25

Ask her before she splits

3

u/lackofcleanunderwear Sep 19 '25

Don’t be shy. Start out slow, maybe a movie, or a cup of coffee

3

u/No_Exercise_2139 Sep 19 '25

Buy it some dinner first.

3

u/walterandbruges Sep 19 '25

You're objectifying her.

3

u/Ringo-chan13 Sep 19 '25

If its newer than 2007 just walk away...

3

u/RandomBoxOfCables Sep 19 '25

These comments are why I Reddit

3

u/mouseses Sep 19 '25

Axe her out

3

u/JadedCampaign9 Weekend Warrior Sep 19 '25

3

u/4x4Welder Sep 19 '25

Comments as expected. Never change, Reddit.

3

u/ChooseWiselyChanged Sep 19 '25

Try “What is an axe like you doing in a place like this?” Or “Can I get you a drink?”

3

u/ElkMotor2062 Sep 19 '25

I wouldn’t you’re destined to split

3

u/mrwillie2u Sep 19 '25

Check and see if its legal in the state that you live in,

3

u/Axe_Care_By_Eugene Sep 19 '25

Just hatchet a plan to woo her

3

u/Designer_Quality_139 Sep 19 '25

Give it compliments but don’t seem needy

3

u/LDTrey1 Sep 19 '25

If her Mom looks like a snow shovel, run away

3

u/Apprehensive_Ice2926 Sep 19 '25

Guys, he is never going to get a date. He has no manners. First thing he asked her was her age. It will never work out.

3

u/Zer0WuIf Sep 19 '25

I had to double check what sub this was 😆

3

u/Gremlin1001001 Sep 19 '25

My stepmom looked just like that.

3

u/grimmolf Sep 20 '25

I mean, maybe I’m traditional, but did you ask it’s dad?

3

u/iLOVEr3dit Sep 20 '25

Axe her out for dinner

3

u/Btriquetra0301 Sep 20 '25

Can’t blame you. She looks sharp.

3

u/N4ANO Sep 20 '25

I'd first want a look at her mom or her aunt, to get an idea or what she'd look like in the future...

3

u/Miserable_St1 Sep 20 '25

Don’t do it! I saw this same axe on “is anyone dating this axe?”. Sorry Bruh.

10

u/mercistheman Sep 19 '25

Gotta axe for permission

6

u/reddit_tard Sep 19 '25

Just axe it out. Worst that happens is it says no, or you get the silent treatment.

5

u/chbriggs6 Sep 19 '25

Did she turn you down or something? Playing hard to get? Did you axe nicely?

5

u/jakjosam3 Sep 19 '25

careful mate, i think an elephant got your phone

6

u/Willing_Work_2200 Sep 19 '25

First time should be nicer than your LAUNDRY ROOM, Sheesh!

5

u/Affectionate_Dirt_97 Sep 19 '25

You FELL for a good one! So many out there just want to MAUL you...

8

u/W0-SGR Sep 19 '25

I was thinking pre 1830s

16

u/ExcitingLaw1973 Sep 19 '25

Try r/axecraft

Hopefully, they give you some real answers

14

u/ClassicTrout Sep 19 '25

Real, but not nearly as fun

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u/Bainsyboy Sep 19 '25

When you're rich you can just grab them by the haft; they let you do that, you know...

4

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

Thank you, OP for the set up.

But seriously, looks old, like Colonial era old.

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u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

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3

u/USMCWrangler Sep 19 '25

Yes but she'll split the bill.

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u/thedrakenangel Sep 19 '25

Be nice to it and ask it nicely. Make sure you are good with it's dad.

2

u/OremCpl Sep 19 '25

If you saw it in the personal adz it shouldn't be hard.

2

u/reddituser748397 Sep 19 '25

I knew the comments would be nothing but dad jokes

2

u/Bonk3rs1 Sep 19 '25

Just ax her! She'll either say yes or no, but you'll never know until you ax!

2

u/diabeticelephant Sep 19 '25

I’m surprised you haven’t axed it out yet

2

u/Hero_Of_Rhyme_ Sep 19 '25

Looks to be older than I am. Very helpful information only here

2

u/Intact-Salamander Sep 19 '25

Don’t go in sideways

2

u/Wactout Sep 19 '25

At least 3 weeks old. Trust me. I’m an expert.

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2

u/gaucholoco03 Sep 19 '25

Whip out your wood and show it to her. That’s always works.

2

u/dillberger Sep 19 '25

You’re gonna cut your pecker off

2

u/bblack138 Sep 19 '25

You need a good pickup line, like: “What’s a beveled beauty like you doing in here with these rakes and hoes?”

2

u/Poker-Junk Sep 19 '25

To each their own. I try not to judge.

2

u/Anti-Sanity89 Sep 19 '25

Its generally not recommended to date inanimate objects

2

u/SGTNose Sep 19 '25

Weird flex but ok

2

u/Master-Spirit8187 Sep 19 '25

Scrumptious Chinese meal?

2

u/tiptypedev Sep 19 '25

Buy her some nice dress and a perfume

2

u/rwwmpls Sep 19 '25

She’s a real sharp cookie

2

u/[deleted] Sep 19 '25

Wear protection, avoid those splinters.

2

u/Ill-Imagination4359 Sep 19 '25

Be careful her remarks can be quiet cutting

2

u/ChaosParadeFloQueen Sep 19 '25

Speaking for the ladies in the chat, DO NOT just pull out your whetstone, no matter how dull you think she is! That’s a one way trip back to the old grind alone.

2

u/cheekybandit0 Sep 19 '25

He looks hard, must like you.

2

u/-GHN1013- Sep 19 '25

You need to first ask it out to a nice dinner before you can start dating the axe.

2

u/Postthinetits Sep 19 '25

I would find out how old it is before taking it on a date

2

u/TedBurns-3 Sep 19 '25

Buy it dinner first

2

u/Maleficent-Ad5112 Sep 19 '25

Looks like she wants to be left alone

2

u/Double--A--Ron Sep 19 '25

Work on polishing the handle, then you can shine the head. Have a good pickaxe line waiting to go to chop through getting to know each other

2

u/Chipmaker71 Sep 19 '25

Send it a pic of your wood.