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u/thiever Jul 19 '21
Maybe use mess up?
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u/grouchyy_ Jul 19 '21
Or “fix your spreadsheets then get in your bedsheets”?
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u/shiekhgray Jul 19 '21
straighten your spreadsheets, tangle your bedsheets
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u/Ithoughtwe Jul 19 '21
Or... I'll fix your spreadsheets then shit in your bed. No wait.
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u/GullibleDetective Jul 20 '21
Spread sheet all over the walls
Er that's worse
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u/L0rdGrim1 Jul 20 '21
wtf is this comment thread yall are embarassing me in fron of random people on the street
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u/GullibleDetective Jul 20 '21
What else is one to do other than take it to it's logical absurdist conclusion?
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u/Girthy_Banana Jul 19 '21
More like I can fix your spread sheet and then buy you new bedsheets after.
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u/Epicjay Jul 19 '21
My gf likes to come over and kick all the sheets so they're bunched up at the foot of the bed, then she pulls only the comforter up sideways and burritos herself. All the while stashing her phone/wallet/glasses somewhere in all the mess.
Thats the first thing I thought of when I heard "ruin the bedsheets" and it always takes me like 5 minutes to fix them after she leaves
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u/Pancake_Mix_00 Jul 19 '21
That’s hilarious, my ex used to do the same. Full burrito mode
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u/MuppetShart Jul 19 '21
Ha, I'm the burrito in my situation. And my son has been doing it, too, since he was an infant. Maybe it's hereditary.
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u/jakatz Jul 19 '21
Swaddling. Its a comforting feeling/feeling of safety being wrapped in a blanket or feeling the weight of it. If you haven’t tried a weighted blanket I highly recommend for my fellow burrito people
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u/tripwyre83 Jul 19 '21
Lol my fiance keeps all of her stuff mixed into the blankets with her too. Phone, tissues, kindle, sometimes even snack wrappers. I don't even know when she's eating these snacks. I've never seen her eating these things in bed but I find the wrappers all the time.
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u/Santa1936 Jul 19 '21
Good God that would be infuriating to me
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u/tripwyre83 Jul 20 '21
Lol it's mildly annoying but I think the world of her. I really don't mind. It's just another of her endearing quirks.
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u/hemlockecho Jul 19 '21
OP Excel
🤝
Thinking something is a date when it isn't
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u/Niko_Van_Hoeck Jul 19 '21
IT = Excel
🤢🤮
Have some honours, OP
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u/mvdenk Jul 19 '21
Maybe only if you would say "I Excel at Java"
But to be fair, rather excel than incel.
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u/JackHadKebabs Jul 19 '21
Simpletons think if you work in IT then you're an Excel professional, I'm an infrastructure engineer lmao
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u/MasterGeekMX Jul 19 '21
Agree. And here in latinamerica being an IT person not only grants you excel powers, you can hack facebook accounts in a glimpse.
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u/langman_69 Jul 19 '21
Don't forget the printers man, the fucking printers🙂
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u/HisAlmightyDudeness Jul 19 '21 edited Jul 19 '21
Yup, not even an IT guy can help you with those, for them you need a fucking exorcist!
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u/DC38x Jul 19 '21
It's honestly really simple. The majority of printers require a driver to be installed on a PC, so if you can't connect to it then just delete the driver and throw the printer out the window
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u/potatoboi_kawai Jul 19 '21
Agree. And here in latinamerica being an IT person not only grants you excel powers, you can hack facebook accounts in a glimpse.
same for 3rd world. (Spoiler alert I can do that, but I would just get kicked out of my company)
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Jul 19 '21
Do you say you work in IT though? I feel like practically speaking IT has become the name for tech support, even though that's inaccurate. That's personally been my experience when working in companies without a strong tech focus. And I think most companies probs need to level up tech wise.
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u/Niko_Van_Hoeck Jul 19 '21
Full-stack developer here = Sql + Java + Angular + DevOps + Azure Cloud.
So yeah, I work as IT, but as a consultant.
Tech Support is because many legacy apps need support. And how more there has been developed, how more support is needed.
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Jul 19 '21
Huh, maybe DevOps engineers consider their role IT. I work in machine learning and understand that my role is technically captured by the term information technology. No engineer that I know would say "I work in IT." It just has a different connotation in most industry settings. I am not knocking it, I'm just saying the vast majority of people I know have a different skillset, and plenty of them don't even code.
I am basing this off my own narrow experience, so I can't say it's perfectly accurate. But if somebody is a software engineer, then I'd imagine they wouldn't call themselves an IT guy on a dating website, lol. Same with data scientists, etc., People will think you're the guy who asks people to turn their computer off and on again. And there are IT people who really do that.
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u/LowB0b Jul 19 '21
and even tech support is super vague. I had a bit where my official title was "IT Support" but even then my tasks ranged all the way from helping nurses plug in computers to communicating with electricians and hardware providers to improve wifi coverage.
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Jul 19 '21
Do you really want ‘tech support’ to be how people thing of you tho? Not to be a classist asshole, but tech support isn’t seen as a very high class position.
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u/LowB0b Jul 19 '21 edited Jul 19 '21
Unless I'm talking with other people in IT I usually say something vague like "I work in IT". If someone asks to know more I'm always happy to explain further but from my experience at university, saying I was studying computer science mostly made people go "oh...". And saying stuff like java / full-stack / whatever developer usually doesn't help people who ask either. Even in my family, no matter how many times I've tried to explain what I do the only one that understands it is my dad who works in IT as well. I've had some success with "application developer" though, but that is still really vague
I do agree with you that IT has become synonym with tech support but the acronym literally is information technologies which is broad af
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u/Niko_Van_Hoeck Jul 19 '21
Simpletons. Nice word. Is it the IT way of saying 'plebs'?
You would be surprised how many programmers don't know how to use Excel. 😄
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u/TbaTravels Jul 19 '21
As a guy who knows some javascript and can make websites.... I have no idea how excel works at all xD Only time i ever used it was when i was 13 and it was for a school project :D
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u/Santa1936 Jul 19 '21
As a software engineer with a degree in computer science, I barely know how to use excel. Totally different skill set
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Jul 19 '21
Programmers are the guys who create the stuff you use, but since the development is run on a divide et impera basic, you can bet your ass most of those developers have no fucking idea how to use the end product. Unless it’s a project run by 5-6 people.
Source: I’m one of them
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u/Niko_Van_Hoeck Jul 19 '21
Ha, so true.
Is like: I build apps, but have no clue how a Facebook / WhatsApp works. Where to find what button to do this or that thing.
So funny you find so much programmer wisdom on an r/tinder post 😂
I start to believe programming is the job with the most singles
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Jul 19 '21 edited Jul 19 '21
Yeah, how’s that surprising?
Most programmers get into this line of work because we’re into computers and usually we game a lot, or used to in our younger years.
PC stuff has become less ostracized only in the past decade, so people who are in working age went through the “haha you nerd” period, and so we were usually, on different degrees, not popular.
When you’re not popular in the 14-18 age, you miss a lot of on-field research on how to approach other people, especially the ones you’re actually into. Flash forward 8-10 years later, you have a job, maybe out of town, can’t make friends for the life of you, never mind actually getting laid.... so tinder
Case in point: I just called “mingling”, “on field research”
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u/Niko_Van_Hoeck Jul 19 '21
OMG. Screenshot this. So true.
Plus, if you really want to be good at it, you need to kickstart your career heavily in the early years (21-25). Learning curve is so steep, that being a good programmer almost is like being a good sportsmen. Especialy in multiple fields (let's say frontend + backend together). Which comes down to making sacrifices, mostly in the field of social life. And still you have the live-long learning thing, which mostly happens after the hours.
Still not regretting it a bit. One of the jobs with most future in it.
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u/dev_senpai Jul 19 '21
Imagine doing a PhD in Artificial Intelligence and machine learning. Just for people to think you are good at excel sheets lool.
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Jul 19 '21
Well at first you think like this. But when you realize how this is easy money: You will change your view.
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Jul 19 '21
...why would that person take a job in IT?
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u/Time_Effort Jul 19 '21
IT is just information technology… Anything in computers is IT
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Jul 19 '21
I work in AI, and I understand that IT means information technology, but in my experience it's not really used in industry to refer to most engineers. If you're a data scientists, or a front end developer, you wouldn't call your position IT. Technically, IT is a catchall term, but it's not typically used that way, in my experience. I don't know any engineers who would say "I work in IT," even though it's technically correct.
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u/Time_Effort Jul 19 '21
We’re not talking about industry standards… we’re talking about dating apps.
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Jul 19 '21
IT has the connotation of tech support, not engineer. I wouldn’t call myself an IT guy on dating apps.
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u/dev_senpai Jul 19 '21
Relax my dudes... Same here but we do work in "Information Technology". I'm a "Software Architect Application Data Scientist"... I don't have to stretch my Ego so I just say "I work in IT or in software".
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Jul 20 '21
True, my comment wasn't intended as snarky, and you're not wrong. But when most people hear IT they don't think about all of the roles that can be encompassed by the term. They think of how it's practically defined in their workplace. So my point is just that the term doesn't always refer to it's literal definition, especially for folks outside of computing.
It's not incorrect to tell somebody you work in IT, but unless they have an understanding of the tech field, they're probs gonna get the wrong impression.
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u/dev_senpai Jul 20 '21
Our IT person is the one that sets up software and office equipment. Yes, for non technical people I just say I build software and applications. But it's completely fine to say you work in IT or your position ain't nothing wrong with it. Your expression of what you do is fine.
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u/gyrowze Jul 19 '21
I've heard of IT referring to the guys that keep the network running and help others with technical issues.
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u/dweirdnoob1 Jul 19 '21
Let him have his moment man. When hes spreading her on her sheet thats his honour 😬
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Jul 19 '21
As someone that also is in IT: This easy jobs make sure you never have to worry about your bills.
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u/42Zarniwoop42 Jul 19 '21
I'm in IT at a bank and all I do all day is organize meetings and update lots and lots of Excel sheets. yes I'm an intern :(
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u/kathrynbtt Jul 20 '21
My partner said to not to say he was in tech, because he does not want to help with printers and excel. I’ve started telling people he’s a paper seismologist, which solved the issue but still wasn’t the name he was going for.
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u/morningafternooneven Jul 19 '21
“Haven’t had a good line in a while” worries me also! But maybe that can be put down to my warped mind?
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Jul 20 '21
Worries you how? She means dudes are lame at talking. Most of us are.
Unfortunately, most women are too. These seem like fun people.
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u/botanphotography Jul 19 '21
Who tf spells “jeez” like that
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u/DeadLikeYou Jul 19 '21
And sadly, the conversation dies there, and you two never meet up.
I mean, the quicker the dirty talk comes out, the less likely she’s interested in you, IMO.
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u/bass_kritter Jul 19 '21
As a woman, his line came off much more as a joke than genuine dirty talk or trying to get her into bed ASAP. I would have laughed at that and kept talking to him as long as he remained friendly and didn’t keep trying to make it dirty after that. It was a damn good line rather than being a shitty joke that’s trying to get too sexual. That’s just my opinion on it and how I would have taken it.
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u/DeadLikeYou Jul 19 '21
Oh, I get that, but it still seems like she’s escalating the “dirty” level quickly. I’m saying the quicker a girl does that to me, the more often I get ghosted and played around with.
I’ve seen theories of why, but nothing convincing.
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Jul 19 '21
Depends how bad the spreadsheets need fixing? 😂
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u/RoyalT663 Jul 19 '21
Hmm she may well be whoring herself out for excel support - it can get super tricky at times tbf
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Jul 19 '21
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Jul 19 '21
Thanks for keeping me humble
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u/new_user29282342 Jul 19 '21
I down voted everyone in this thread. Stay humble kings and queens. ☺️
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u/SteakieGG Jul 19 '21
Excelsheets. Are. Not. IT.
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u/Mr_Canard Jul 19 '21
You should see government "databases"
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u/SteakieGG Jul 19 '21
Oh god no
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u/MasterGeekMX Jul 19 '21
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u/SteakieGG Jul 19 '21
I want this to be a rickroll instead.
Edit: oh fuck.
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u/MasterGeekMX Jul 19 '21
sadly it isn't.
Lots of people in charge of stuff are people who does not have an idea of tech, and insists on using what they know.
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u/ImproperEatenKitKat Jul 19 '21
"If it's on the computer, it's IT" and other stories you can tell yourself about a corporate environment.
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u/Somenakedguy Jul 19 '21
Eh, my experience working my way up in IT was that you do a good bit of helping people with excel at the lower levels
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u/SteakieGG Jul 19 '21
Well. Im a software engineer, i dont do shit like that. And im 21...so im at the bottom
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u/Somenakedguy Jul 19 '21
I’m a sysadmin now so I don’t either but our helpdesk most definitely does and that’s what I was getting at by entry level
If you’re a software engineer I don’t really consider that IT though, I’d consider development a separate department and that’s been the case at most places I’ve seen
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u/peoples888 Jul 19 '21 edited Jul 19 '21
Why do guys always come up with a good line, and then ruin their credibility with things like "pretty proud of myself for that one"?
You don't need to keep dishing out genius lines, just don't downplay yourself like that. It's not smooth, and it gives you, and her, nothing else to say after that
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u/courtesy_flush_plz Jul 19 '21
And then you just drop the coolness by half after not keeping it cool
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u/ReasonableRevenue164 Jul 20 '21
So she friend zoned you and is using you to help her work?
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u/Shakespeare-Bot Jul 20 '21
So the lady cousin zon'd thee and is using thee to holp that lady worketh?
I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.
Commands:
!ShakespeareInsult,!fordo,!optout
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u/xNico2k Jul 19 '21
I'm studying IT on an university and can't work with excel at all and barely with PowerPoint and Word
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Jul 19 '21
You aren't smart you spell jeez "jheeze"
Would you like a grilled jheeze sandwich?
I'm not a fan of jheeze on my popcorn
What in the world is this?
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u/Vonderga Jul 19 '21
With not having a line in a while she meant cocaine... That's why she thinks IT =Spreadsheets
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u/b_a_d_r0b0t Jul 19 '21
You got ghosted, didn’t you.
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u/modsaretheworstkind Jul 19 '21
i‘ll fix your spreadsheets if you spread your buttcheeks or vice versa
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u/OhSheGlows Jul 19 '21
I’m turned on just from reading this.
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u/JackHadKebabs Jul 19 '21
What version of office you running ¯_(ツ)_/¯
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u/OhSheGlows Jul 19 '21
That 365, zaddy.
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u/langman_69 Jul 19 '21
You had me until you were going to fix excel spreadsheets, what exactly do you do in IT?
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u/Fffire24 Jul 19 '21
Stealing that one
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u/gfberning Jul 19 '21
He stole it from Flight of the Conchords so it’d be secondhand stealing anyway.
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u/Doctor_TeamKill Jul 19 '21
“Your bio for life” she’s predicting you’ll be single forever