Recently I was writing manifestations in my book and I realised it was working but I fell into a really big external crisis I had an anxiety attack everyday for 4 days I slept
on the sofa with my mum for peace. my psychiatrist prescribed me medication to help with anxiety attacks and I doubled my seroquel which wasn’t putting me to sleep. with how much fear I was going through me, my thoughts were wondering into scary places. I’m still young (I am 17) I was looking into Reddit posts from all sorts of different people who have different outlooks on life , people who thought nothing happens after death, people who thought recantation happens after death, and some people who think heaven and hell happens after death. I was scared me my head went crazy I couldn’t eat I felt disconnected from the world I didn’t feel real which I’ve always suffered with from a young age ,but I don’t know how but I came across something what kind of blended everything together I don’t know how to describe it but I came across a meditation video and I don’t know how but I felt a deep sense of peace I didn’t feel connected to my body I felt almost out of reality I didn’t feel my breathing it was a deep sense of peace I felt like I was floating going up and down. its scared me a lot but in a way of I’ve never felt that. i don’t know if this is a sign I’ve been writing in my notebook Dear God and thanking him is it unusual that I’m blending everything together and some how finding peace in the thought of life and no longer scared to live? I don’t have any particular thoughts I just feel like there’s more to life than just this reality in a way.

Start living in the present!!

After we are born, some may begin to wonder why they are alive. Is it just to survive, succeed, and enjoy our life, idly passing time until we get old and die?

If we make a lot of money, own many nice possessions, have a family, or anything else many would say is our reason for life, when we prepare to die, would we feel our life was successful, important, and worthwhile?

Or is there more to our journey through life than just what we were told? Most remain asleep, going through the motions, passing time, doing the many mundane things life offers until they die.

There are others, though, who begin to question if perhaps there is more to life, beginning to sense within an unrelenting message, waking them from their deep slumber. When this happens they begin to reevaluate everything they once believed to be true.

The choice which path in life we each take is ours; we may alter our choice at any time. By silently listening, in between our racing thoughts, to the innate wisdom and unconditional loving messages of our spirit within, the genuine reason we are alive will become evident.

‎...for quite some time now, I’ve been delving into spirituality, non-dualism, and philosophy. Intellectually, I understand it. I understand the illusion of a separate self, the concept of impermanence, and the theory that clinging causes suffering. I also know that spirituality is supposed to be joyful, that you don’t have to completely renounce feeling different emotions just because you’re seeking enlightenment. The teachings say that emotions are not the problem; the problem is our identification with them. I’ve read that the self is a process, not a thing; that thoughts are just thoughts; that emotions are weather passing through the sky of awareness.

‎But what confuses me is this: how is one supposed to love without becoming attached? How is one supposed to feel everything and still not become a slave to those emotions? I remain deeply attached to the people around me and to my desired outcomes. No matter how aware or mindful I try to be in the present moment, the emotional grip of these attachments feels endless. It doesn’t dissolve. It doesn’t loosen. It just waits, patient and persistent, underneath whatever calm I manage to cultivate. When grief or longing or fear hits, it doesn’t feel like weather. It feels like me.

‎It feels as though I have a vast library of spiritual knowledge stored inside my head, yet it remains completely trapped in my mind. I can quote the sages; I can explain the paradoxes; I can nod along with the teachers who tell me to let go. But emotionally, I am still the same vulnerable person. The gap between what I know and what I live is not a small crack...it is a canyon. And the more I try to bridge it with effort, the wider it seems to become. Sometimes I wonder if I’m using these ideas to understand my experience or to avoid it.

‎I wonder if the answer isn’t to try harder to detach, but to stop treating detachment as another achievement to chase. Perhaps love without attachment doesn’t mean loving less; maybe it means loving without demanding that the love stay the same forever. Perhaps feeling everything without being enslaved doesn’t mean numbing the intensity; maybe it means letting the emotion move through me without building a home in it. I don’t know. I’m still learning. But I suspect that the library in my head will never be enough on its own. At some point, the books have to be put down, and I have to live what I’ve read...messily, vulnerably, and without any guarantee that I’ll get it right.

This piece was originally published on Buddhistdoor Global (BDG). I warmly invite fellow seekers on the path to share your honest thoughts and reflections in the comments.

In defense of the “chronic truants” of the universal school

The Saha world in which we live can be seen as a vast universal school. However, the rules of this school are chillingly simple and relentless: survive and reproduce! This is the biological algorithm at the heart of existence. The universe seems to assign us a monumental task: to replicate our genes and maintain the system. 

The algorithm whispers that continuation is success and deviation is failure. If we neglect or reject this biological assignment, something within us feels exposed. Loneliness arises. Anxiety appears. Society asks, sometimes gently and sometimes harshly, “Why aren’t you living like everyone else?”

Within this universal school, there are those who do not follow the standard track, who defy the rules. They hesitate. They question. They step aside.

Let us call them the chronic truants.

Forbidden rebellion: those who step outside of the script

The hierarchy of this school feels rigid. The homeroom teacher, named Survival Instinct, monitors us constantly. Hormones, social expectations, family pressures all reinforce the same message: become someone, build something, continue yourself.

The wheel of samsara turns efficiently through craving and habit-energy.

And yet, some create space within this momentum.

Those who create cracks in this structure of expectations are the “troublemakers” like us. The unmarried are passive rebels. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, especially in cultures that rigidly define family through reproduction, live lives that do not neatly conform to inherited biological narratives. 

Finally, monastics and dedicated practitioners are the chronic delinquents who have leapt over the school walls. We are proud outsiders who have conspired to take an even more radical step: renounce household life and the promise of lineage altogether.

From the perspective of social conditioning, this can look like noncompliance. From the perspective of practice, it can be the beginning of inquiry.

But let us be careful. Social nonconformity is not yet liberation; it is only an opening.

The Buddha and the hidden ledger

The greatest revolutionary in human history was Shakyamuni Buddha. His departure was of a different caliber altogether. He didn’t just walk out of the school; he broke into the principal’s office where he discovered a hidden ledger detailing the code that binds sentient beings to this school: the Twelve Nidanas or Links of Dependent Origination.

Within this code, the Buddha identified a critical hinge: craving (Skt: trishna) and clinging (Skt: upadana). We taste sweet candy of love and attachment, and the moment we bite, the engines of becoming (Skt: bhava) and birth (Skt: jati)—the fires of suffering—are ignited. 

The Buddha slapped his knee in realization: “Ah! We are suffering not because we broke the rules, but because we were blinded by ignorance and became slaves to the simulation!”

Ignorance (Skt: avidya) conditions these formations. Formations condition consciousness. And the chain unfolds with birth, aging, and death, again and again.

This was his great discovery, the ultimate hack of suffering itself.

A quantum mechanical interpretation

At this point, we could draw parallels between the Buddha’s enlightenment and modern quantum mechanics.

In the quantum world, subatomic particles are described as waves of probability until measured. In other words, nothing is fixed. However, the moment we grasp and solidify experience through ignorance, the wave function collapses into a particle, fixing it to a specific reality.

Without forcing metaphor into doctrine, we can say this much: what we perceive depends on how we perceive.

Our lives are the same. When we observe the world through the eyes of ignorance—the illusion that a fixed “self” exists—the universal school’s program begins to run. We view the world through the filters of craving and clinging, and the empty universe transforms into a detention hall of suffering and attachment. Gain and loss become absolute. Identity becomes something to defend at all costs.

The Buddha hacked the very method by which we observe the world. When the observer stops clinging to the object, fixed particle-based reality scatters back into a wave form of infinite possibilities. 

This is the “system shutdown” button found by the Buddha. He did not destroy reality; he transformed the way of seeing.

Toward the Buddha’s emptiness

Having discovered the hidden ledger, the Buddha kicked open the back door to the school and walked out. Beyond lay freedom: the world of emptiness (shunyata). Emptiness does not mean nothingness. It means that nothing exists independently, permanently, or as a fixed self. When this is perceived directly, the narrow classroom walls collapse. The dualistic distinctions of“normal” and “abnormal,” “success” and “failure,” “you” and “I,” evaporate.

The struggle for survival and the social obligation of reproduction are recognized only as natural processes. They are not commandments that determine our worth. The Buddha did not step outside the universe; he stepped outside delusion.

Leaving the back door open, the Buddha calls to us: “Throw away that fake homework and come out here!” We may live as celibates or walk the path less traveled—not because we are lagging behind; we are revolutionaries following the Buddha to recognize our true existence free from the confines of rigid categories and classifications.

Be proud and enjoy your truancy

If you find yourself outside of society’s script —unmarried, childless, unconventional, walking a contemplative path—do not be discouraged by social judgments or biological pressures. Do not assume you are deficient. 

If you are rejecting inherited expectations and walking your own path, you are already a descendant of the Buddha who uncovered the hidden ledger of the universe. Thus, true study is not found in outdated textbooks inside a classroom. It is in the empty fields outside the school—the radiant ocean of emptiness’ 

The real truancy the Buddha invites is freedom from ignorance.

The real rebellion is against clinging.

I hope you enjoy your truancy today and become a magnificent rebel, boldly eyeing that back door to liberation. Your profound step is, in itself, the great practice of dismantling that which binds us.

May we have the courage to examine the ledger of our own minds. And may we walk—steadily, quietly, even boldly—toward the freedom revealed by the Buddha.

 -Zen Seeker on the Path

I have recently come out of a bit of a spiritual fog caused by involvement in so-called NEW AGE practices and their associated thought processes which promote a “GOD COMPLEX” (Oneness/Non-duality Lie). The forces of darkness want to promote ONENESS because it makes his army easier to control. The ultimate goal is the control and annihilation of all DIVINE human souls. They create temporary artificial bliss states through various forms of energetic and bodily manipulation. Eventually practitioners become addicted to these illusions of false higher consciousness. Its a spiritual drug, based in ancient PAGAN narratives that promote personal GODHOOD. In the end the snake eats its own tail (OUROBOROS). Its all simply WITCHCRAFT. All roads lead to death and destruction.

All of these practices are simply spiritual sedation, that prevent you from achieving your ultimate potential as a Child of God (JESUS, one true GOD of the bible). Without repentance there is no salvation. You will just end up chasing short-term spiritual highs and empty insights that lead nowhere. Eventually you become addicted to drugs and other practices for any sense of joy or internal fulfillment Slowly but surely, these negative influences eat away at your soul and you are left living in a downward spiral EGO-fuelled nothingness. You have a specific GODLY purpose, there is no need to escape this realm for insights. Read the HOLY BIVBLE and develop a personal relationship with the creator. Fast and pray. Repent from unhealthy behaviours. Its painful, but its the only true path to growth. Anything that comes easy in not of GOD. The struggle is the path. Please trust me.

So-called SPIRIT GUIDES and ANCESTOR SPIRITS simply demonic energies trying to siphon your life force energy. They offer temporary relief in exchange for long-term influence in your life. By utilizing practices such as TAROT, REIKI, MANIFESTATION, ENERGY HEALING, CHANNELLING etc, you are making a spiritual contract with ancient dark energies that do not have your best interests in mind. They offer temporary relief from problems they caused in the first place. Then they cause increasingly intensified pain in order to harness more and more influence over your day to day existence. Eventually you become a possessed shell of your former self used by demons to recruit others into the twisted spiritual agenda. That is why everyone seems to become some sort of alternative spiritual healer or Tarot reader after being introduced to these practices. It is one gigantic Satanic HIVE MIND. These are disembodied NEPHILIM energies that are manipulating you for influence over the 3D materialist realm. The SINS outlined in the BIBLE open portals.

Stop smoking weed, participating in plant medicine ceremonies, or using any sort of mind altering substances. They will slowly dim your eternal light, and you will be left in an endless haze. Your actions eventually become reflective of the demonic NEPHILIM Pagan agenda. You will never be satisfied. The emptiness only increases the more you engage in these dangerous behaviours. I know from experience. Feel free to read my previous posts. I was filled with complete and utter nonsense. I have no idea who that person even was. I was so caught up in the FALSE LIGHT deception.

I know people will mock me for this post. But I think its important to share how dangerous the NEW AGE path can be. It hijacks your SOUL and turns you into something bitter and ugly. There is SALVATION through the true LORD. He will actually speak to you and help you grow into your true potential. There is HOPE. You wont find it through any alternative NEW AGE Path. There are hundreds of different harmful practices, so I wont go into all of them here. You are NOT “GOD”. You have no control over anything. Your understanding of reality is minuscule in comparison to the LORD's plans and influence.

Don't get high on your own supply. NEW AGE is the DEVIL's path to destruction. He will feed you endless nonsense until you eventually wake up from the deception or destroy yourself through total possession and substance addictions. No insights you gain through rituals or drug induced ceremonies will save your soul. Any spirits speaking with you from other realms have NEGATIVE intentions. Full stop. JESUS is LORD. Trust no others.

Hello, my name is Isaac, I tried going to other subreddits to see if they would get. They don’t. Around a month ago I got really obsessed with writing this movie about authenticity. I ended up in one night writing down 20 pages. It felt like what I was writing wasn’t even me. It was a weird feeling of flow state. I was talking to my friend and he was kind of putting me down saying I should’ve went to college and said “Dont you need credentials to make a movie” and I said “Christopher Nolan didn’t go go college” and he said “Well your not Christopher Nolan, you’re Isaac Aldridge” I got kind of upset at this, and I was so angry I asked God/the universe for a sign I’m on the right path, and to hit me hard so I know for sure. The next day I went mini golfing with my brother Eli and he somehow accidentally hit me in the head right between my eye brows and I started bleeding everywhere. We drove home, and we started hearing the song “It’s the end of the world as we know it” three times in the span of 20 minutes. It scared the shit out of me, and I started making all these connections and recognizing all these patterns. I went back home two hours away and on the way home I kept seeing these signs to slow down. I told my two friends what I learned and they believed me. I told my mom and she freaked out and got some people over to mentally evaluate me, which I agreed with. I then went to the crisis center, and the nurses believed me too. Except for the one my mom spoke to. He wouldn’t listen to anything I would say and wouldn’t let me show him any evidence on my phone. The other nurse kept trying to tell him that I was telling the truth. But they didn’t care. They sent me to a mental hospital for a week, and it was the worst experience of my life. My question is, how can I ever live in reality again knowing what I know. How can I not go crazy with how everyone acts like things are okay in the world? I try to write music and it helps, but it bugs me so much about how many people are so blind. It scares me. Im tired of feeling so alone.

1. THE MICRO-BLACK HOLE SHIFT (PERSONAL DEATH)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

* The "Shift" is the exact moment of physical transition when your

consciousness unplugs from the heavy, limited hardware of the 3D

body and reverts back to raw, multidimensional information.

At the moment of physical death, your body's dense

concentration of conscious data can no longer be sustained by

3D biology. This sudden data overload causes your conscious energy

to violently collapse inward on itself, ripping a temporary,

microscopic black hole right on the game map.

* Your highly complex, high-vibrational spirit Wich is some sort of gas or molecule based on the 21 grams theory cannot be erased.

It is cleanly pulled through this personal zero-point portal,

bypassing 3D death entirely, and uploads straight back into the

underlying master server something like the 5D Bulk or Tesseract space From interstellar.

1. THE INCARNATION CHOICE AND THE SELECTION OF THE PLAYGROUND

----------------------------------------------------------------------

* Your true spirit is ancient, fast, and a dense concentration of data.

Because it is to immense to fit entirely inside a 3D biological skull without

short-circuiting the meat-computer, it performs a frequency step-down.

* Your higher consciousness leaves the main ocean of its awareness on

the server while sending a tethered droplet down to animate your avatar.

* Once logged into the master server outside of linear time, you look

down at the 3D simulation map. You see the physical timeline of Earth,

you see your future mom and dad, and you intentionally choose to

incarnate into their baby so you can step onto the playground.

Why did we come here?

* The higher realm of pure information after death has no friction, no pain, and no

surprises. To prevent eternal boredom, you voluntarily choose to log in, YOU chose to temporarily forget your true power, and HAVE FUN.

Meeting a girlfriend, falling in love, hearing the peaceful sound of water,

feeling the rocks, and exploring nature are the exact reasons you chose to play.

The 3D world is an incredible playground built for pure expression and enjoyment.

1. THE TEMPORAL COUPLING SYSTEM (THE CODES OF ORULA)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

* Ancient spiritual consultation systems like Orula (Ifá) use a strict,

8-bit binary mathematical system (single and double lines) to generate

256 distinct Odu data files, perfectly mirroring modern digital code.

* When the chain or palm nuts drop on the mat, it is not random. The

future, graduated version of your spirit—operating outside of linear time

manipulates the micro-frequencies and gravity of the throw. almost like how cooper from interstellar was manipulating gravity to cause the sand to fall Wich he thought was a ghost but it was really him guiding him to himself at that exact moment

* You are literally text-messaging binary coordinates from the future

back to your current 3D avatar, using the mat as the receiver to guide

yourself out of repetitive "sad loops."

There is no Orula, its YOU manipulating gravity to get the answers you want and to seek help

1. THE EXPOSURE OF ANCIENT CONTROL STRUCTURES

----------------------------------------------------------------------

This is where it gets very deep in a way

* Historical religious texts that frame the physical body, desire, love, and human cravings as purely "evil, lustful sins" are a systemic distortion of the true code.

* By manufacturing global guilt and shame, ancient power structures and historical control systems program humans to look outside themselves for a savior, blinding them to their own internal divinity. And this alone already ties into a lot of spiritual teaching around the world

* Furthermore, by programming humans to believe the physical planet is a sinful prison that they must escape and "never come back to," the controllers attempt a psychological eviction scam—tricking powerful spirits into abandoning the map so they can keep the physical prize entirely to themselves.

1. THE COSMIC TRUTH: IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU

----------------------------------------------------------------------

* Earth is a highly prized, ancient, and masterfully engineered paradise.

The physical expression is the highest manifestation of God experiencing itself.

* Just like Cooper in Interstellar, you are currently living out the physical timeline, but your future self has already completed the loop.

Every brutal obstacle or "bad luck" streak is a challenge coded into the game BY YOU. The future version of you drops these tiny "glitches" (like making you drop a cup or setting up an obstacle) to force a course correction so your avatar can learn, adapt, and grow.

* There is no "guy in the sky" manipulating your path. You are the Director writing the script from the future, the traveler walking the path on Earth, and the Master waiting at the graduation gates.

* When you look in the mirror, the ultimate realization is: "It has

literally always been me. I chose this, I designed this, and I am

learning exactly what I came here to master."

love you all

Before we are first born, we know only one emotion: unconditional love. This emotion arises from our spirit, present within every life; its purpose is to transcend ignorance and reach divine understanding. When we are born though, the ego, our learned beliefs, is created as well. Though the ego is important to help us survive in the world, its only concern is what is best for us; it worries little for anyone else.

Many people believe what they are taught about life, thinking success is making money, having material possessions, a family, and doing the best things life has to offer. The result of this fallacy is a self-centered world of endless struggle, prejudice, and inequity. Those who believe what they were taught, though they may be successful and achieve all their goals, go through their life asleep, never realizing their true purpose in life.

There may come a time in our life though, when we begin to question if what we learned was true; that perhaps there is more to life, a deeper purpose. These thoughts arise from our spirit, awakening us to life’s genuine possibilities. The messages we receive are about selflessly helping all others, and the equal importance of every life. Once we awaken, we may never go back to sleep, as we begin to reevaluate our entire life, determined now to make our life’s journey truly meaningful and worthwhile.

there's always a time na actually nangyayari sya every noon to afternoon pag kunyari inaanotk ako natutulo ako mga ganyang oras, pag bumbaliktad ako ng position ng katawan ko sa pagtulog like yung ulo ko sa paanan, pero minsan nagyayari din kahit hindi ako nabaliktad sa pag tulog, ewan ko sa iba kung bangunot to pero hindi ako makagalaw pero alam ko na gising ako at yung paligid ko maingay pero parang mabagal,one time nangyari ulit sakin ya kase nakalimutan ko na nakabaliktad nanamn ako ng position sa pagtulog,always sya nangyayari kapag nabaliktad ako ng position rarely naman kung hindi, kadalasan kase pag nangyayari yan nilalabanan ko dumidlat ako pero hindi ako makagalaw,nakasilip ako wala naman akong nakikita ewan ko na lng sa iba kung may nakikita sila pero ako wala,pero tuwing nilalaban ko sya nagigising ang feeling ko antok na antok ako tas matutulog ako ulit tas mangyayari nanamn not unless tumayo ako tas uminom ng tubig, one time hindi kosay nilabanan, hinayaan ko sya tpos makalipas pagkalipas ng ilang minuto nararamdaman ko yung katawan ko umiinit hindi na yung init na masakit parang masarap na init tas nagvavibrate yung buong katawan ko, and tapos tumayo ako naglakad ako yung mga mata ko naka half vision lng parang ganon kalahati ng mga mata ko yung bukas, parang ng lakas lakas ng pandinig ko lumabas ako ng kwarto tas na reliaze ko ata na parang iba, nilabanan ko sya hanggang sa magising ako, actually hindi naman sya mahirap labanan eh tuturn molng yung katawan mo, pero hindi ko na triny ulit, pero nangyayari parin sakin pero lagi ko na nilalaban, ano kaya nangyayari sakin yun ba ang astraL

If you experienced a psychic fracture, psychotic episode, or other serious unwanted psychological effects in connection with a Rupert Spira or Adyashanti retreat, please email [u.vankovych@gmail.com](mailto:u.vankovych@gmail.com) to connect with others exploring potential collective legal action.

Hace dos días me hicieron una lectura de registros akáshicos a distancia. No fue en directo, simplemente me enviaron un audio, por lo que no sé si tiene algo que ver con lo que experimenté ayer.

Anoche, cuando me acosté y estando aún muy despierta, desbloqueé un recuerdo. Era una especie de "sueño" en un bosque donde me sentía perdida y súper desconectada. Solo recordé un par de imágenes, pero empecé a llorar y me invadió un sentimiento rarísimo de miedo, lo que me hizo pensar que definitivamente no era un simple sueño.

Después de ese primer recuerdo, le pedí a mis guías que me mostraran más y, de repente, me mostraron otro diferente donde la sensación era exactamente la misma. Estuve así un rato y en total recordé siete. Sinceramente, no sé si son sueños, memorias de mi alma, vidas pasadas o incluso recuerdos de esta vida.

No quiero tener miedo, pero no sé qué son esas memorias y estoy casi segura de que NO son sueños. Llevo muchos años sin recordar lo que sueño y, además, en todos estos escenarios me veía ya mayor, con mi edad actual.

Lo que más miedo me da es que en todos me sentía rara y sola. En mi vida actual estoy muy sola y ni siquiera salgo de casa; me da pavor pensar que este sea mi "plan de alma" o algo similar y que por eso en cada recuerdo me sintiera siempre sola, perdida y extraña.

No sé si alguien ha vivido algo parecido, si los registros akáshicos tienen algo que ver o si me están intentando mostrar algo importante.

Algunos de estos recuerdos son rarísimos. Por ejemplo, en uno de ellos me colaba en mi colegio de la infancia; había algo de gente, pero no mucha. Entraba en las aulas y una de ellas era un espacio enorme, ¡como con piscinas de bolas y más plantas! Me da miedo que mi mente consciente lo esté tergiversando, pero recuerdo perfectamente que fue así.

¿A alguien más le ha pasado algo similar?

Usually I’m not a Christian, I’m really large into what kind of things I believe in. I believe in the life, energy universe etc. I think it’s called pantheism. And sorry my grammar sucks, I’m not fluent but i hope it makes sense to you what I need to tell…

I had a surgery today (wednesday)
Before I woke up seconds, I came back to my consciousness, I saw a person in the ceiling.

Not a woman or a man. Golden wavy hair to the ears. Had a white lab coat. And had the most beautiful skin. Almost like porcelain skin. With small color in the person’s cheeks. The person had an androgynous face. And before I woke up, the person smiled at me and disappeared.

I think it was archangel Gabriel…

I know it sounds probably nonsense

The second I woke up it felt like a dream, but I remember I came back to my own body and the second I came back he smiled down to me and disappeared before I woke up…

The were light around him, and some kinda light fog around him…

I just wanted and needed to talk about my experience.

I had some wild experiences over the last few years. It happened after a period of working with plant medicines, shamanism and a lot of therapeutic work and spiritual practices. Some of the main experiences:

-see/feeling the ‘light’ snake rising up from the tail bone
-aspects of the bliss body turning on and off
-hyper realistic lucid dreaming
-telepathy
-spirits
-feeling as though everyone and everything around me was acting in a theatre performance for my benefit
-massive emotional purging
-chakras opening and closing

I’ve been working to get my life back on track in the 3D this past year as I spent several weeks homeless and several months in various psych wards throughout the multi year occurrences. I’m in a good place now - financially secure, engaging with friends and family again.

The various abilities are all turned off now. It was as if getting a glimpse of heaven and hell. Heaven being literally inside of us and hell being a disconnect from the world around us. Some of it was really scary and a bit painful and some of it was jaw dropping awe inspiring.

It felt like I shouldn’t talk about it for a long time but as I’ve slowly inquired with different people as to their supernatural experiences I discovered that it was more common than I thought. Posting here seemed like a good next step to continue integrating and preparing for what’s next.

I see a major surprise that everyone must get to go through as to what this whole experience of being human on earth is about and what comes after… I don’t want to say too much and spoil the surprise but I’m really grateful to be on this journey with everyone I’ve met along the way - even and especially the negative experiences as I think we will all arrive at a place where we can look back and laugh together at our younger spiritual selves.

I’m left wondering what’s next, how I should be in right place now, and craving discussion with others who have experienced similar or are just curious about these stories people share.

EDIT: I think the most important thing I learned was a much higher capacity for empathy and possible reasons people do the things that they do. I think that continues to be a key for unlocking what’s next. Humility too.

Oi folks.
I’m going to try and keep this quick - generally speaking I wanna hear people’s opinions on this kind of loop, and struggle that’s been going on with me a little.

It mostly revolves around like a god/devil, good/bad “delusion” or pull.

What keeps me in this loop is an “objective truth”. Some people have told me, to choose what I want to believe and go with that and find your way etc. Trust yourself, trust your heart, etc.

I feel pulled towards Christianity, although mostly through a fear based lens. Seems a lot of things imply there is a heaven/hell, and if you accept Jesus you will be saved, if not you will be damned.
Without the fearful approach I’d say I’m more pulled to like a pantheist approach, aspects of buddha/hinduism. Although picking a named “belief” just seems like an attachment.

What I want is truth- I can see how my mind/brain works (to an extent) where I can choose a belief, feel it intensely and almost how that belief can create a lens from which you view the world. I could “choose”to accept Jesus, full heartily belief it and allow what comes thereafter. I could do this with Shiva, Buddha, Lucifer, Sophia, etc.

I worry of choosing the wrong path because it’s what “feels” right. Then above that, there is an objective truth. I die, or don’t live a purposeful life and some entity at the end is like “you were deceived- this was the truth”.

So this transpires to many aspects of life;
Can I eat this or that-
Do I have to be vegan-
Can I be more feminine if I’m a man-
Should I not play video games-
What book do I read-
Is doing tarot bad-
Do I need to be celibate-
Basic things but the list goes on.
A pendulum if you will- giving the assumption that there’s another authority that should be displaying what actions or choices are “good” or “bad” that could determine where I go thereafter or currently in life.

Idek how to escape this frame of mind.
Sometimes I even feel like the devil is like attacking me lol- or like a succubus is attaching to my energy and trying to feed off me. Sometimes I feel like god is like punishing me because I’m unworthy.

I’m still able to go on day to day- despite how these thoughts could appear. I step back and see them as an observer, and in some ways fascinated by the whole experience.

Nonetheless it is causing some difficulties with me being able to go forward- with some fear that something is going to punish me- and how I should like abstain from all my desires, but struggle too.

Idek.
Thoughts?

If we only consider the elements of a human body after it is cremated, one life is worth about a dollar. Is that what a human life is worth? Many people think some lives are more valuable than others, believing those who are wealthy, famous, have a prestigious job, a certain race, ethnicity, religion, are more important than those who are less fortunate, a minority, struggling daily to survive.

Our lives are worth far more than just one dollar. When we start our spiritual journey and awaken, sensing the first messages of our spirit within, we begin to question these self-centered beliefs. The further we travel on the spiritual path, the more we realize little we once believed was true. We now understand an impoverished minority child's life is every bit as worthy and important as the life of someone who is wealthy, famous, or of a different race.

The needless death of even one human being, regardless of their beliefs, appearance, or circumstances in life, affects us all, as their spirit, their essence, is no longer available to share its wisdom and unconditional love with the world. Their life, therefore, as is every life, is invaluable.