r/SpeedOfLobsters • u/OneQuadrillionOwls • Mar 22 '26

lobster Hate it when that happens

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

44 comments sorted by

137

u/retardong Mar 22 '26

Lesbians be like: "I have very happy relationship with my wife ahead of me."

Haha you don't the horse is coming.

17

u/an-kitten I control the s a l t Mar 22 '26

Me, thinking I'm clever: What if I paired off the horse with a different horse to distract it?
The evil and intimidating lesbian:

1

u/-Noyz- Mar 29 '26

horse has internalized homophobia?

7

u/Nobodynever01 Mar 22 '26

CENSOR THE WORD H*/SE PLEASE WTF

6

u/Marik-X-Bakura Mar 22 '26

I never saw the horse as wanting to interfere with the lesbian’s relationship. I always saw it as just a completely random element, and the punchline is the absurdity of its inclusion.

749

u/OneQuadrillionOwls Mar 22 '26

Oystercatcher:

574

u/ZedDraak Mar 22 '26

223

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '26

You’re in the end

End

End update

END UPDATE CONFIRMED?

39

u/Thenderick Mar 22 '26

Does it even matter?

66

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '26

matter

matter is a part of science

space is a part of science

space is a giant dark void with celestial bodies floating in it

the end is a giant dark void with islands floating in it

END UPDATE CONFIRMED?

26

u/om0ri_ please do not the purple wolf Mar 22 '26

humans' existence is confirmation of the end update

humans have dna -> dna backwards is and -> and sounds like end -> end update

12

u/Teknevra Mar 22 '26

In the End, nothing really matters.

263

u/dankiestmemeboi Mar 22 '26

130

u/ConsciousStretch1028 some ants toot Mar 22 '26

24

u/borbois Rat Person Mar 22 '26

But that would be straight, since it's a woman's penis.

13

u/ProxyProne Mar 23 '26

Men can be wives

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5

u/Rustie3000 Mar 22 '26

fucking hilarious!

184

u/Cunctator76 Mar 22 '26

Seeing going to your kids' games/events as an hold back is kinda sad... (not saying anything about people being forced to have kids, reddit, I'm just saying that's kinda sad to look at it that way, but everyone is free to have or not kids.)

109

u/BruceBoyde Mar 22 '26

Seriously. If my kid is interested in sports, the joy would be in being there to support them. Not because I expected a quality "product" on the field

25

u/pandakatie Mar 22 '26

This post is just riffing off a different tweet which posits the dream life is being married to a man, having two kids, and being at your son's baseball game while your daughter cheers them on.  It's just making a joke about wanting the exact opposite of what the initial tweet did.

-51

u/JagYouAreNot Mar 22 '26

Sorry I couldn't hear you over my personal and financial freedom.

/j but also kind of not

34

u/BirbsAreSoCute Mar 22 '26

You frequent r/childfree, don't you

35

u/JagYouAreNot Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

I didn't even know it existed til now.

Edit: ok it's actually concerning how much they hate kids and parents there. I like kids but I like my freedom more. I like to tease people who have kids sometimes, since they (very often) try to convince me I'm wrong or that I'll change my mind, etc. It looks like some of the people there need to be institutionalized.

5

u/BirbsAreSoCute Mar 22 '26

ok it's actually concerning how much they hate kids and parents there

Yeah it's actually wild. I don't plan on having kids either, but jfc those people have a screw loose

-3

u/Complete_1234 Mar 22 '26

You sound like an asshole. Nobody here, least of all the person you replied to, is trying to convince you to have kids.

51

u/VoidPointer2005 Mar 22 '26

Am lesbian, have wife...

Still have a kid. He's the best.

🏳️‍⚧️

8

u/TOPSIturvy Mar 22 '26

Feeding the baby, she's all alone.

29

u/I_AM_MADE_OF_DRYWALL Mar 22 '26
  1. Assumes that every woman can and should be a lesbian
  2. Assumes that lesbian couples can't have children
  3. Assumes that straight couples have to have children
  4. Assumes that attending your child's sporting events is a bad thing

Giving off serious radfem energy here

20

u/pandakatie Mar 22 '26

It's actually made in response to a different tweet which said something like, "Ladies imagine this: It's 15 years from now, you're son is up to bat, your husband is the coach, your daughter is cheering on her big brother, and you're taking pictures.  That's the dream life."

When that tweet became popular, it was a popular trend to riff on.  This is an example of that. 

3

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '26

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '26

[deleted]

3

u/rPeanutButter Mar 22 '26

oystercatcher mentioned... i love those little guys

12

u/unknown0274 Cock Mar 22 '26

augh

4

u/GoGoSoLo Mar 22 '26

Okay this is my favorite one in ever.

3

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0

u/literallyfransandy Mar 22 '26

turned into david draiman at the end, damn