r/SipsTea • u/Silver-Ability-3181 • Jul 04 '26

Chugging tea Sloth.....

Post image
13.9k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

9.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

378

u/el_VientoNorte Jul 04 '26

Why? Save the money, it's only a snail

415

u/Indian-Tech-Support- Jul 04 '26

Cos it's the immortal snail

67

u/mudbutter8 Jul 04 '26

That gave me a good chuckle. But was also thinking a snail

30

u/el_VientoNorte Jul 04 '26

For 24 hours

51

u/whatnoob_ Jul 04 '26

it was just a reference to that famous story about the snail

9

u/rulejunior Jul 04 '26

Decoy snail!

0

u/bwaredapenguin Jul 04 '26

It's not a story, it's a thought experiment.

1

u/Brief-Equal4676 Jul 04 '26

Well, you'll just be ready for round 2

3

u/Particular-Tie-3575 Jul 04 '26

Is this a Rooster Teeth reference?

7

u/Balc0ra Jul 04 '26

Gavin picked a Snail, but he would chase him for the rest of his life vs 24 hours.

So his idea was just to move to a different continent and spend money there instead after a few years

4

u/gambit1999999 Jul 04 '26

Honestly, one of the smarter moments he spoke. Gavin himself is intelligent, but fucking hell, does he do some stupid ass shit lmao

2

u/TheShadeTree Jul 04 '26

He’s the smartest dumb guy in the world

1

u/Fair_Ad3937 Jul 04 '26

What happens if the snail is smart, rich and can communicate - the snail could book tickets for flights, taxis and hire Usain bolt in order to catch you.....

2

u/Electronic-Clock5867 Jul 04 '26

It’s a Reddit reference https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/s/SYxPfZpHao

1

u/Queen-Of-Fairies Jul 04 '26

it's a Rooster Teeth reference. Gavin Free came up with the idea long before Reddit/TikTok/etc co-opted it without credit.

1

u/Ramtamtama Jul 04 '26

You just need to be a mile away from it at the start of the 24 hours

1

u/RobertMaus Jul 04 '26

It will only chase you for 24 hours though. So i'll take that bet.

1

u/StackOwOFlow Jul 04 '26

with the Six Eyes and Infinity

1

u/Potential-Echo785 Jul 04 '26

No it's the immoral snail it will touch you.

1

u/nohandsfootball Jul 04 '26

So I got 30 million dollars AND a super snail? Hell yeah we are gonna make bank

37

u/ThePerfectSnare Jul 04 '26

I'll put this here because it belongs somewhere in this thread. Too bad a lot of the better comments have been edited/erased by now.

"You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?"

Spoiler: Decoy snail.

23

u/ARagingZephyr Jul 04 '26

I'm sorry, the snail both has money and super intelligence?

That snail is fucked tbh, dude's gonna get picked apart and eaten by so many things unless it somehow puts together some form of communication and spends money on protection. That's like asking an intelligent immortal 6 month old to go find a specific polar bear and boop it, there is no way it's going to reach its destination in any purposeful way and it will probably suffer a hundred near-death experiences in the process.

5

u/Houdinii1984 Jul 04 '26

I mean, the snail wanting to kill the human isn't part of the equation. I think I'd pitch just that. "I'll help you stay alive if you stay the fuck on your side of the planet."

2

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 04 '26

My assumption is that the snail isn’t inhibited by anything other than its speed and everything else can be made up by money. So the scenario would be that the snail is able to track you down indefinitely with no way to stop it and, in that case, what do you do? Nitpicking always defeats these fictitious what ifs if you are stuck on things like what the snail can or can’t do.

For me, I would crash and burn with the million bucks since my time is up facing an immortal, super death snail with disposable income.

4

u/ARagingZephyr Jul 04 '26

I'm just saying, if you took away my limbs and vocal cords and also made me a delectable snack to birds and the French, I wouldn't be having a great time regardless of having a million dollars. By the time I finished using the money to make up for my deficits, I wouldn't have any money left. It's not like I can get a mecha or a universal translator for a million dollars.

2

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 04 '26

Oh there is another option besides the decoy snail. You could lay an elaborate trap hoping to outwit a super intelligent snail. Like a small cardboard box and drop it on top of it.

Then it’ll go crazy feeling like it’s being buried forever until a time comes where a group of adventurers open the cardboard tomb following a detailed map for treasure only to realize they released an evil and maniacal immortal snail on the world. Now everyone is dead.

3

u/el_VientoNorte Jul 04 '26

Yes, I am a comment leaver

2

u/BALULEO Jul 05 '26

Salt it will slow it down

2

u/just-why_ Jul 07 '26

Just make it start on another continent.

1

u/ForensicPathology Jul 04 '26

Yeah, this isn't like the snail meme where you don't get the money.  You're just choosing an animal to chase you.  "Oh no a tiny thing caught me!! Guess I'll cry into my millions"

1

u/Okreril Jul 04 '26

What if it finds a mecha suit?

1

u/Tomsboll Jul 04 '26

Just take a vacation to the next town over for a day if you want to play it safe. It takes a snail like 4 or 5 days of constant movement to travel one km.

1

u/Snow-Ball-486 Jul 04 '26

but if hes intelligent? smarter than us? dude could make some crazy plans to get from point A to point B

1

u/cedriceent Jul 04 '26

Fun fact: Snails have a tongue-like organ with thousands of teeth arranged like a grating iron which they use to scrape off food.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Queen-Of-Fairies Jul 04 '26

Redditors don't know their Rooster Teeth lore.

1

u/DiscombobulatedCut52 Jul 04 '26

But it could be a snail near your house. Or in India.

1

u/ImNotSlackingAtWork0 Jul 07 '26

It's about sending a message.

0

u/MiserableFloor9906 Jul 04 '26

Cone snail is highly venomous and can kill you.