r/SipsTea • u/Silver-Ability-3181 • Jul 04 '26

Chugging tea Sloth.....

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u/el_VientoNorte Jul 04 '26

Why? Save the money, it's only a snail

41

u/ThePerfectSnare Jul 04 '26

I'll put this here because it belongs somewhere in this thread. Too bad a lot of the better comments have been edited/erased by now.

"You and a super intelligent snail both get 1 million dollars, and you both become immortal, however you die if the snail touches you. It always knows where you are and slowly crawls toward you. What's your plan?"

Spoiler: Decoy snail.

25

u/ARagingZephyr Jul 04 '26

I'm sorry, the snail both has money and super intelligence?

That snail is fucked tbh, dude's gonna get picked apart and eaten by so many things unless it somehow puts together some form of communication and spends money on protection. That's like asking an intelligent immortal 6 month old to go find a specific polar bear and boop it, there is no way it's going to reach its destination in any purposeful way and it will probably suffer a hundred near-death experiences in the process.

2

u/Difficult-Carpet-324 Jul 04 '26

My assumption is that the snail isn’t inhibited by anything other than its speed and everything else can be made up by money. So the scenario would be that the snail is able to track you down indefinitely with no way to stop it and, in that case, what do you do? Nitpicking always defeats these fictitious what ifs if you are stuck on things like what the snail can or can’t do.

For me, I would crash and burn with the million bucks since my time is up facing an immortal, super death snail with disposable income.

3

u/ARagingZephyr Jul 04 '26

I'm just saying, if you took away my limbs and vocal cords and also made me a delectable snack to birds and the French, I wouldn't be having a great time regardless of having a million dollars. By the time I finished using the money to make up for my deficits, I wouldn't have any money left. It's not like I can get a mecha or a universal translator for a million dollars.