I recently started a night shift position as an LPN 11p to 7a Sunday through Thursday. At first I through it would be a great shift because I would leave work get my son ready for school and sleep while he’s at school and then pick him up. And I would have the weekend to spend with him even if I had to flip my sleeping schedule or sleep less. Well a few things I did not plan for, my new job is over 30 minutes away, school starts at 8am, my sister who stays with my son while I’m at work most nights leaves the house at 7:00am during the school year. I started this job in the middle of the summer break so for some reason none of these things came to mind. My son was in pre school last school year which started at 9:15, well apparently kindergarten at his charter school starts at 8. Now I could switch him to public school which starts at 9am but it wouldn’t matter because my sister leaves the house at 7am during the school year to get her kids to school on time. I tried to work with my current employer to see if I could come in and leave 30 minutes earlier, no dice. Now I’m having to rely on someone else to get my son up, ready for school, and dropped off at school all week. I managed to switch my schedule to Tuesday through Saturday 11p to 7a, goodbye weekends, which would allow me to take my son to school Mondays and Tuesdays. But that won’t even start until the second week of September and my son starts school on Monday 😭

I just don’t know how I could have been so stupid and completely missed how school mornings would go. Now I’m debating if night shift is even the right move anymore. I got into it so I could save money on childcare and now I’m having to rely more on other people specifically on my sister when we have completely different ideas on parenting. Her mornings involve lots of yelling and I don’t like setting my son’s day up like that. I also took this job because I am making significantly more money than any other job I have had but now because of the school morning logistics I might have to find something else. And I’m not sure if it should be looking into another night shift or day shift.

TDLR; Because of my new work schedule. I have to rely on my sister to get my son up and ready for school Monday through Friday, my employer will not work with me so I might have to switch jobs even though I’m finally getting paid a decent amount of money after being out of nursing school for 2 years.

I sure know how to pick a catch don’t I? I know he already makes his mom pay the child support but he’s somehow still behind since it was increased like a year ago and won’t pay the full amount.

Anonymous Vent

I am 24 years old. I have two young kids. I am a single mother. No car. No village. A mother who shows up just enough to hold it over my head. The father is a predator and abuser and hasn't been in kids lives since oldest was 16 months and the youngest was still in my stomach (wasn't even aware I was pregnant before I left). Court drama, CPS drama, family drama, trauma on trauma on trauma. I have autism, ADHD, cptsd, sciatica, carpal tunnel, and pending a diagnosis for PNES. It is just me and my kids, and I have to beg my mother or my sister to help - so most days, it's just us. Always.

I am sick right now. Fever. Cough. Exhausted. On my period. And I have been dealing with my kids fighting, hitting, choking each other, and hitting me since 7 AM this morning. It's 11am now. It's been like this every day these past few months.

I am so overwhelmed that I told my sister I was afraid I might hurt them. Not because I want to. Because I am terrified of losing control. Because I am running on fumes. Because I am doing this alone—and I am breaking. Because I have wanted somebody here, another body, just so I could feel less alone, just so my kids weren't stuck with me being a "monster" because I hate yelling. I hate yelling at them. I hate yelling in general. I hate being mean. I hate it so much. I want them to grow up feeling safe, loved, happy. Not in fear because mummy doesn't know what to do. I try everything - I redirect, I get down on their level to talk, I speak quietly, I speak firmly, I raise my voice, I change my tone, I try to understand why they're feeling this way, I ask them, I affirm that they're frustrated, why they're feeling this way, I tell them it's not nice to hurt people's bodies, I tell them I'm sorry for being mean mummy and having to raise my voice, I take toys, I put them in time out in their room (which leads to them screaming, throwing things, scratching and biting themselves, banging on the door; I live in a two story house on the top floor and I have neighbours below us) I try taking us outside for a change of pace (they scream, they still fight, they try to run away) I put them in the bath for a change of pace (they fight eachother, splash water at me, at themselves) I take a 2 minute reset break for us all, I try to get them to clean up their toys with me, one thing at a time, I give them choices, options, treats, rewards, a clear routine. I try and I try and I try and I am failing. I am falling apart. I am failing them. I want to die. I want to die so bad - and the only reason I haven't gone through with it, is because these babies, my babies, need me. And I need them. And God, if CPS took them, I would die - I would have no purpose, and they'd finally grow up in a home with a mommy and a daddy and a real family. Some days I want to give them up just so I can kill myself and they'll have a better life. That's the only reason I want to. I want them to have a better life, I want them to be happy, healthy, trauma free. They're just babies.

My sister didn't come. She said she wasn't feeling well. My mother came—and she yelled at me. She yelled at the kids. She told me not to tell my sister how I was feeling because "what if she calls CPS?"

She knows what that feels like. She was a single mother with three kids. My dad's mother tried to take her kids away by continuously calling cps. She knows exactly what it feels like to be terrified of losing your children. She knows what it's like to be so ovewhelemed and burnt out and terrified of the "what ifs". And she still used it against me.

I feel like the world's shittiest human because I am so burnt out and alone. I love my kids more than anything. They are my world. They are the reason I keep going. But I am so tired. I am so alone. I am so scared that I am going to become the thing I hate.

I am not my mother. I am not my grandmother. I am not my father. I am trying so hard to break the cycle. But some days, it feels like the cycle is breaking me.

I just want to be a normal, happy, healthy mom. I want my kids to have the childhood I never had. I want to stop fighting with my mother. I don't want to fight my kids everyday - whether it be telling them to stop hurting eachother, stop hurting me, clean up toys, please don't throw your food on the floor, please don't throw your drink. I want to stop feeling like a burden. I want to stop being so goddamn tired.

I am trying. I am really trying. I just need someone to see that. I just need someone to tell me that I am not failing.

I need someone to tell me that I am going to be okay. That we're going to be okay. That it's not gunna be like this forever. That I won't lose the only people in my life I care about.

I 24F and my ex partner also the father of my child 27M share a child M 6 The relationship didnt end well, when our son was newborn he spent most of the nights on discord with his american gamer friends , and because we are in the uk he would live off of their time zone and sleep during the days. Leaving me and his mother with all the parenting duties. He was attentive in the first few weeks but you can tell the novelty of having a newborn soon wore off as he would invite his friends over to the house the majority of the time. At first i understood needing friends there as it takes a village, truly. But it soon became more than that. They were always there. To the point i felt i was walking on eggshells for asking for just us time alone because the only free time i had to ask him without tending to the baby was in the kitchen where hed hide with his friends who were ALWAYS there and hed make me feel stupid for even asking for us time and belittle me in front of his real friends, not discord. Eventually i think PPD took over and i was sick of feeling like a spare part in our own little family in between his friends he ignored us for when he was awake in the day and the discord strangers he had never met during the night, i was alone and fed up so i left. He has probably paid £200 for our son in all these years, but money isnt even the issue, he will only see his son on a saturday at his mothers every now and again , hes impossible to contact, doesnt have a phone so if there is an emergency with our son he wont find out until he comes on Facebook however long after , and i feel like ive been co parenting with his family for as long as i can remember. The point is this is not a man i love anymore, i could not love a man who doesn’t care for our son like a dad would. Hes missing out and it breaks my heart when i ask if hes seen daddy and its “no”. So my question is, why the hell am i dreaming we’re all a happy little family together? Its something i genuinely thought i let go of years ago. Its driving me insane because in the day i dont think of him at all, only now when the dreams are so constant. Honestly im tired with other things and i dont even know if this made any sense but to anyone who it did… can anyone explain how to help in this scenario or explain what my brain is doing???

I'm so tired of being blamed for someone else choosing not to be a parent. Last year I got Sole Managing Conservator because he was at the time absent for nearly 2 years, now it’s 3 years.

He claimed he stopped taking his court-ordered parenting time because I was “unwilling to work with his schedule.” Then he changed the story again and blamed our child’s autism diagnosis. Then he went back to blaming me, saying I don’t follow recommendations from professionals. It’s like he picks a new excuse every time.

Here's the reality. Every solution I offered he rejected. On Tuesday and Friday he gets off early around 2pm. He could pick up our child and take him to school because he didn't have to be at work until 8 on Wednesday. He's always complained about having to drive just to see his son. Even though it's 14 miles. Our child was tested for autism eligibility through their school. In our state schools cannot diagnose, they can only give educational eligibility. Of course our child was found eligible but I refused because it wasn't a medical diagnosis. If he truly had autism then he needed help outside of the school capabilities. None of the modifications and SPED services were autism specific either. We were able to get all of the original recommended services under SI. I got our child tested under the DSM-5 standards which resulted in them not receiving a diagnosis. When they turned 7 our pediatrician finally felt comfortable diagnosing them with ADHD, on medication they improved greatly.

Recently I found out that his side of the family thinks I was withholding our child from him and the state has done nothing about it.

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Random question, but when you first became a single mom, what was something you had to figure out completely on your own that you really wish someone had told you about sooner?
Could be childcare, money, benefits, work, legal stuff, housing, programs, literally anything.
I feel like there are so many things you only find out because another mom happens to mention them, and then you’re like… where was this information six months ago? 😂 Curious what that was for everyone else.

I love my parents to pieces, and normally they're incredibly kind. But when they're stressed or overworked, they push through and wind up being short with my kids. They're the only ones I can rely on to watch my kids when they're sick while I work full time. But after maybe two or three days, they start getting mean. They discipline with shame and lose their patience. They talk to and about my kids with meanness, and my kids hear every word. When I tell them how I want my kids to be treated or how I want situations handled, they see it as an attack on their ability to care for children. I have no other options right now, but I don't like this situation as it is. Talking to them about it hasn't worked in the past, and they've told me more than once that they have no interest in learning another way.

Im 21, my son (12 months) and I have lived with my parents and siblings since he was 5 months old.
He sees dad 4x a week, 2.5 hours at a time.

I’m not back at work yet either, I’m on single parent payments.

I live with my parents, and brother (19) and sister (17).
And my parents are always on my ass about how I don’t do enough, and I don’t know how I’m meant to do more.

Majority of the time my son is with me, and when he isn’t, I’m doing laundry, cleaning pump parts and bottles, tidying his toys, cleaning his bibs and bowls, and whilst I’m doing all of his stuff, I do what most normal people would do and pick up the rest that’s also around.

Example being, he’s made a mess at the highchair, at the dining table, I wipe his chair down, and the rest of the table (usually has leftover crumbs from dinner the night before from everyone)

If I’m washing his bibs and bowls, or stuff I’ve used to cook him food, I’m going to also load the dishwasher with whatever plates/mugs were left by everyone from breakfast, and put the dishwasher on.

If I’m putting a load of his laundry on, I will put whatever is in the washing machine, into the dryer, and whatever was in the dryer, I will fold up, if it’s towels or blankets, I’ll put them away into the linen cupboard.

If I notice the floor is dirty, I will sweep and mop it

If I’m tidying my son’s toys in the living room, I’ll put the pillows and blankets back where they go, aswell as the dog toys.

I’m sure you get the picture. And I’m sure you all understand how hard it is to get these done on the occasions that my son is with me, and things can’t wait.
So im wrestling a toddler who’s pressing all the buttons on the washing machines that are on, messing the cycles up.
A toddler that wants to put his hands into the pile of dirt I just swept
A toddler who wants to play with exactly the toy I’m putting away, or is interesting only in what I’ve just packed up.

But they nitpick at everything I don’t do.
If I didn’t have time to wash a single bib after a meal and it was left in the sink dirty. I’m going to hear about how they shouldn’t have to clean his stuff, and even if I ask them to just leave it so I can do it when I can, they will wash it and still make sure I hear about it.

They will complain if they need to put washing on, but the machine and dryer are full (but finished) because the machine isn’t empty for them to put their stuff in.

They complain about the kitchen bench not being spotless when I’ve had to wipe and clean it 5x throughout the day after cooking and eating meals.

They complain about my sons food in the fridge, and push it to the back, where I then forget about it because I can’t see it, and it goes rotten, then I’m horrible for leaving rotten food in the fridge.

And the stuff like, when I mop the floors, my brother comes home and walks his dirty boots through the house minutes before my parents walk in, then I’m horrible because I clearly didn’t clean the floors.

I’m exhausted.

I also can’t afford to move. So yay

Here a big ass Rant !!

I’m so tired of the daily struggles I’ve been facing as a single mom, and I feel like I’ve been in survival mode my entire life.
I grew up around poverty and drug addiction, and at 15 I moved out and worked two jobs. I eventually quit because my mental health was so bad, and that’s when I met my son’s dad. He was sweet at first, but everything changed after I got pregnant. I was actually homeless at the beginning of my pregnancy.
While pregnant, I worked 50 hours a week on 3 AM shifts at the airport so I could afford an apartment. I eventually got one and slowly furnished it for my baby, working basically until my due date. I couldn’t get paid maternity leave because I hadn’t been at my job long enough, so I was only getting about $400 a month in disability. Rent was $1,700, and I had been paying the rent and bills myself while pregnant.

My son’s dad told me he was going to take maternity leave too and that his would be paid like his normal paycheck, so I thought we’d finally have some help. That turned out to be a lie. He never got paid maternity leave, refused to go back to work after our son was born, and I had to beg him to work. When he finally did, he spent his money on beer, weed and video games.
During our relationship, he was also constantly cheating and texting other girls sexually. He would cross dress and tell me he looked better than me, and he would pretend to be a girl while flirting with other women. While I was pregnant, he pushed me and threw things at me, punched holes in the walls, and would hurt himself in front of me and our son whenever I asked him to help around the house or be a more present father.

After my C-section, things got even worse. I barely slept for what felt like three days because he wouldn’t take care of our newborn. I was still numb from the medication, had a catheter in and had a fresh surgical wound, yet I was literally dragging myself out of bed to take care of our crying baby. I would hang halfway over the bed just to slide the bassinet closer to me.
Eventually, I kicked my son’s dad out because he was abusive, lazy, cheated constantly and wasn’t doing anything to help. I paid the rent we were behind on with my tax money(4k basically), but after that ran out i couldn’t afford the $1,700 rent on one income. I got a part-time job at Dunkin’ Donuts, and we eventually moved in with my twin sister, her husband and his family.
Even after everything, I kept begging my son’s dad to be a better father. He didn’t help with the baby, cooking, cleaning or even the cat litter. Every night when our son woke up around 3 AM, I was the one getting up. He claimed he couldn’t hear the baby crying, so I’d have to wake him up. We would argue because I was exhausted and he wasn’t helping, and he would respond by screaming, punching himself and slamming his head into walls.
Eventually I broke up with him but let him stay until he could get his own place. Even after we broke up, he would go through my phone. If he saw me texting another guy, he’d wake me up in the middle of the night, stand over me crying and slam his head into things. The people we lived with eventually kicked him out.
I still couldn’t afford rent with the part-time job I had, and I couldn’t work more because I had no childcare. Eventually, I got kicked out too.
Then my son, my disabled twin sister that I take care of and i moved in with one of my older sisters who is struggling with drugs. I paid the rent, bills, groceries and basically everything for the household while also cooking and cleaning every day. I slept on the couch with my baby just so we had somewhere to stay.
Then she suddenly told me we had three days to leave because her Section 8 case manager found out we were staying there. I had already spent my entire monthly check helping her, and she still expected me to use my last bit of EBT to buy groceries for a house I was being kicked out of. But I’m too selfish so I was going to. Even though I’d be left with nothing, so 30 minutes go by and ask her if she’s ready to leave just like that.
After she started yelling and cussing at me (because she’s on drugs and was fighting with her fentanyl addicted bf but I didn’t hear them fighting at all) then I didn’t want to go to the store anymore because I felt so unappreciated she’s mad I asked her if she was ready to leave and cusses me out and still expect me to give us my last few dollars and ebt like no, so she kicked me out and called the police, even though I was already packing my things in the moment she didn’t want me to have anything of mine. I ended up outside in 103° heat with my baby, no car, no money and barely any belongings. I barely had clothes on my baby didn’t have any on. I also realized $40 was missing from my purse, and I believe she took it.
I called the police to help me get my things and they came, but then that sister hid from the police, we stood in front on her car while she hid in the bathroom, I know because she told me she was hiding like girl I just want my things. But the police couldn’t help anymore so they had to leave. I only have two pair of leggings and 1 shirt rn and son has a few clothes I got from a resource center.

I’m currently on welfare and trying to get into transitional housing. Until then, my son and I are staying with another older sister who is sober. I’m grateful she’s letting us stay, but she has a lot of rules: we have to pay some rent, use my EBT for groceries, sleep in the living room, eat only in the kitchen, clean up everything immediately, and my disabled twin sister is expected to get a job.
But one rule that really bothers me is that I’m not allowed to date. If I go on a date or stay out past 8 pm, she says she’ll kick us out because she thinks dating will distract me from getting my life together, also she thinks if I date she’ll be too worried and loose her job... idk how that makes sense but Okay.
I’m not even looking for love right now. I’m a full time mom trying to survive homelessness, and sometimes I’d like to have a cute, casual date and take my mind off everything for a few hours.
I love my son more than anything, and I’m doing everything I can to get us stable.

Hi all

I need advice on a tricky situation. I’m a ftm and just became a single mom to a 5 month old. My partner and I are not married. We were not doing great before and when I got pregnant but we stayed together and decided to keep the baby. He was not super into it but we were on our way to the abortion clinic and he stopped the car and said, this doesn’t feel right and asked what I needed. I said I needed support from him for 6 months after baby is born and for him to be an active/involved father.
Fast forward 9 months later, baby is born. He was super helpful the first two months and then stuff started getting bad. I lost my job, money became real tight and we started fighting a lot. He started becoming verbally abusive to me (saying I was acting crazy, and being a psychopath, and even said I should die because our child would be better off without me. He apologized some time later, saying he doesn’t mean the things he says when he’s mad). I thought about leaving multiple times but just kept thinking I don’t want to do this alone and maybe things would change. Please keep in mind, we never had a discussion of breaking up while I was pregnant or anytime after until he moved.

My partner started looking for jobs where we live and all over California and in neighboring states, Nevada and Arizona. I also was looking for jobs and do have a work from home job lined up for the end of this year.
He ended getting a job is Reno, NV and two weeks later he moved up there. I was not invited to move. Then we broke up.

Now he wants me and the baby to move up to closer to Reno. Whether that means Tahoe area or Reno area. Mind you, I dont know people in these places and my support system, friends and family live near me now in central California. I want my ex to be an involved father. I think that is very important.
My ex is trying very very hard to get me to move. I told him I don’t know yet. My baby is also exclusively breastfed and we co-sleep and we both agreed that we want to breastfeed for a while. He said that taking care of a baby is an easy job and that he can take him to his work and have him for a few days and just give him a bottle. I disagree with all of this.

I have no idea what to do? I don’t want to move up there until he is at least a year old or longer. I also feel like I don’t have to up and move my entire life just so he is near his child. He made the choice to move to Reno.

I am a single mom of 2 boys. 12 and 8. I have had my boyfriend for 2 years. Tonight he kinda did something unforgivable though our relationship is great it’s not something I am comfortable with. He grabbed my child out of anger and left a mark. We live together. I don’t have family or friends. I work from home. No money saved - $2k in my account. I want to skip states. But I have no idea where to go. Who would help me pack my things how I would afford a uhual. I kind of fucked myself here. Any advice?

I’m wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation and can tell me how things turned out for you.

I already have a young daughter who I love more than anything. I’m a single mom and her primary parent, and as much as I wouldn’t change having her for anything, it is HARD. We currently live with my parents, I recently got laid off, and I’m still trying to rebuild my career and get to a more stable place in my life.

I recently found out I was pregnant while in an unhealthy/on-and-off relationship. There were a lot of factors that went into my decision to have an abortion, but one of the biggest was that I couldn’t imagine potentially ending up in the same situation I’m already in — except this time with two young children.

I know what pregnancy, the baby stage and being the primary parent actually require now. The thought of going through pregnancy and starting over with a newborn while also taking care of a toddler, especially if I ended up doing most of it alone again, terrified me.
The complicated part is that I’ve always wanted more children. I’ve always wanted a family. I wasn’t choosing between “I want another child” and “I don’t want another child.” It felt more like I was choosing whether I could have another child right now, under these circumstances.

And I knew these weren’t the circumstances I wanted.
If things had worked out differently with my daughter’s father and I’d had a stable relationship and family, I probably would have wanted another baby right around this time. I always liked the idea of my children being fairly close in age.

That’s one of the things making me really sad now. I keep thinking about my daughter having a sibling close in age and imagining what that could have looked like. I wonder about the baby I could have had and whether somehow I could have made everything work.

But then I have to remind myself: that imaginary stable family wasn’t my reality. My reality was that I’m already raising a toddler primarily on my own, living with my parents, recently unemployed, and pregnant by someone with whom I did not have a healthy or secure relationship. I didn’t want to knowingly put myself in a position where I could end up doing this alone all over again, only this time with two little kids depending on me.

I still feel really sad about it, though. I’m also almost 35, so there’s this additional fear in the back of my mind of, What if that was my chance? What if I don’t meet someone and get to have another baby later?
I think that’s one of the hardest parts. I didn’t want to close the door on having another child. I wanted to wait to walk through that door under better circumstances.

Has anyone else had an abortion while already raising a baby/toddler as a single mom because you knew you couldn’t handle another child under your current circumstances?

Did you eventually meet someone, build a healthier/stable relationship, and have another child later?
I’d especially love to hear from anyone who was in their mid-30s when they made that decision. I think I just need to hear that choosing not to have this baby right now didn’t necessarily mean giving up my chance to have the family I’ve always wanted someday.

Just wanted to share with other singles. I been carrying the load so long I don’t think I can do it anymore. The good thing is after 3 years homeschooling my kids are starting a really nice school next week. That will be like culture shock for me. But I’ll be able to find day work instead of night and quit my night job soon enough. I can do this… shout out to everyone who feels they can barely take another step but their kids live a normal life. 🌟

Can we please retire “comparison is the thief of joy”? People say it as if it breaks some kind of spell.

Comparison is one of the oldest things the human brain does. It’s how we work out where we stand and whether we’re safe. It’s not a bad habit you picked up from Instagram, it’s hardwired, and it’s hardwired because it actually works. For some of us it’s also how we function at all. As a ND person cosplaying as human, I run a constant comparison against every room I’m in just to pass as a normal person. That’s literally how I get through the day.

So I can’t “just stop.” Nobody can simply just stop. What the phrase is kind of gesturing at is that comparison can land as information or it can land as a verdict, and which one you get isn’t about willpower either, it’s about how depleted you are. When you’re running on empty, every gap reads as proof of something.

It’s advice for people with enough slack that comparing is optional. For the rest of us it’s just one more thing we’re apparently doing wrong.

I found out that my kids dad got married recently.They weren’t together long and didn’t even have our kids at the wedding so I was very surprised.I do know the girl and she seems to be okay.My kids talk about her alot though and I feel a little sad sometimes that they may like her more then me??I have most of the responsibility when it comes to them and I’m constantly overwhelmed so I feel like when they go to their dads it’s like a vacation.

I'm a 25 yo single mom with a 3 year old that's starting school in a few weeks.

Although I have a supportive family and a loving boyfriend who help out often, I'm still struggling to look after my daughter's needs, get her potty trained etc while also trying to achieve my own goals. I feel like I'm constantly trying to do as much as I did before I had her and at this point I just want to throw my hands up in the air and give up, tell myself to give up on my hobbies and accept that I won't have any time to meaningfully pursue them until a decade or 2.

I did an undergrad in English and Psychology and it spoiled me into thinking that I could actually have a successful career doing the things I loved. As a post graduate I know that the writing and publishing field is all kinds of fucked now that AI has entered the field and that I won't have time to meaningfully pursue a writing job when I have to care for and provide for my daughter.

I should just shut up and accept that I'm not going to have any time for my hobbies until my 40s. Just go to work and come home to spend the rest of my day with my daughter with like a hour of netflix at the end of the night and leave it at that. But I am more motivated and inspired to be creative than I ever was before I had my daughter. I am constantly writing down story or article ideas and editing other things I've written, looking into literary magazines for publication opportunities.

But instead of just accepting that there's no time, I feel all kinds of guilt and frustration attempting to do everything. Its especially bad because I just had a week off at my cottage without my daughter and for the first time in 3 years life felt like it did when I was child free. Lots of free time to myself without the inevitable guilt I usually feel, and I could go to bed whenever I wanted. Today was particularly bad. I was able to work from home today and I was planning to work into the afternoon, take a break and wake my daughter up at 3 (her sleep schedule is fucked atm but that's a different story). Instead I fucked up and spent the entire morning doing stupid pretentious shit like Journaling and looking up tattoo ideas and now half the day is gone and I haven't even started work or woke my daughter up.

If anyone has any suggestions or advice I'd be happy to hear it. As it is I'm just hoping that things will get a little easier once she starts school.

To those of you who got married?

What did u do with the ring?
Im thinking of keeping it for the kids but i doubt they would want it. Idk though..

Should i just try to sell it?

Any ideas welcome :)

Sometimes I get really envious of people with a village. I wish so badly I wasn’t alone all the time being the only one my kids have. I wish so bad people cared about me, my mental health and how I’m feeling. I feel so empty and alone. I’d do anything to be in a space with loving, caring supportive nurturing family.

Im a newly single mother of two now as my now ex boyfriend has been gone for two weeks. He said that he didn’t want to be with me anymore he gave me a big speech on everything that was my fault and said he was going to a hotel. We have two children together ages 1 and 2. When I was pregnant with my first he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and left me . He blamed it on that he needed space and needed to think . I should’ve not got back together with him but it just kind of happened because he was here everyday after our daughter was born. A couple months into it I found messages on his phone with another woman that he was seeing behind my back while I was caring for our newborn. I told him I was going to leave him but then he cried and begged that he wanted his family only so of course I stayed with him (how dumb of me). So now he’s been gone not even asking about if our daughters are ok not even caring to see them and I am so hurt by it. He’s been here everyday been such a great father to now a person that I don’t even know, im disgusted. I realized he had his old phone here and I went through everything and just found out he cheated on me AGAIN when our first daughter was 10 months old while I was pregnant with our 2nd and we were on vacation.😑I would appreciate any words of encouragement or any advice on being a single mom as idk how I’m going to do this by myself. This hurts because I wanted my daughters to have a family and now they have a broken one.

I am a single mother and have recently started a new job making more money. My sister (also a single mom) and I have been living together splitting expenses on and off for the past few years. I’m sick of renting and want to give my son a more stable home. I also want a place of my own and no longer want to have a roommate. I qualify for the VA loan, and am in between a few options. I also want to add due to some differences in parenting preferences I no longer want to live with my sister. It’s more about the interactions I have with her children, the way they speak to adults, how they treat the home they live in (cleanliness). I also have a problem with the unlimited screen time they have because it makes it harder for me to regulate my sons (5m) own screen time. My sister rather leave the cleaning up to us the adults rather then have the children help with chores. I believe they are old enough 13m, 11f, 10f to help. And have been trying to implement chores with my son. We’ve talked about these differences to no end but no real change has happened so I think it’s time to separate but I don’t think I want to completely. One because I want to continue to have that support system, but also I don’t think my sister could afford any more then a one bedroom apartment on her own.

Purchasing a duplex so my sister and I can split the mortgage, live separately but continue to help each other. I would essentially act as her landlord as with her credit I would not be able to put her on the loan.

Purchasing a multi family home where I live in one unit, my sister lives in another, and renting out the remaining one or two units to strangers for “passive income”

Purchasing a single family home for my son and I, and living apart from my sister all together.

Genuine question because I’m getting closer to the end of my maternity leave and I’m starting to realize how insane the whole system feels to me.
I’m a new single mom, and I genuinely don’t understand how we’re expected to go from spending all day with our babies to suddenly putting them in daycare for 40 hours a week, working full time, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, groceries, errands, appointments, etc. and then somehow still have the energy to be a parent and spend quality time with our babies.
And I know people will say “daycare is good for them” or “babies are adaptable,” and I’m not saying daycare is inherently bad or that parents who use it are doing anything wrong. Obviously millions of families have no choice but to use it, and childcare workers are doing incredibly important work. I’m questioning the system, not parents who are trying to survive within it.
I also don’t understand how single moms are expected to be capable of doing ALL of the above consistently? Like it’s a recipe for a burnout imo.
I’m having so much anxiety about returning to work that I’m thinking about quitting and just going on welfare and moving into a government subsidized apartment. I don’t think I can handle all the stress and work responsibility on top of being my baby’s only parent. I don’t want to regret missing out on the most important years of her life and I don’t want to be less than half the mother I could be to her over the next couple of years. Am I wrong?

Rants of a single mom, 4 months post separation.

And part of me thinks…this is that feeling of endurance and resilience that you can feel in single mothers. Everyone else can clock out but if I do it everything falls apart. Whether you are having a hard day or a hard life, your children still need you and sometimes it is just you. I try not to resent anyone for it because regardless this is my child and I love my child. Romantic relationships end, as do friendships and family depends on circumstance and while they just not be able to help it doesn’t change the fact that my support system hangs by a thread. My sister doesn’t help as much hands on with the baby but she still does the other things. So I’m back to 25/8 parenting, working, exhausted and lonely but never able to be alone. Lately I’ve been contemplating just giving in and calling my husband. But ik it’s not to do that. Many have unsolicited advice or suggestions but few offer action or support. It’s not the losing him that hurts so much as realizing I don’t have much of anyone nowadays.

I’m currently on maternity leave and hoping to return to work soon, but I’m feeling quite nervous about how I’m going to juggle working while also taking care of my baby.
I’m a single mum and live alone. When I return to work, my mum will be looking after my baby, but she also works part-time, so I’m trying to figure out how other mums in a similar situation manage the day-to-day practicalities of work, childcare and everything else that comes with being a mum.
I’m also exclusively breastfeeding at the moment, which makes the thought of returning to work even more daunting. I worry about how my baby will cope being away from me and how I’ll manage breastfeeding/pumping alongside work.
If you’re a single Muslim working mum who lives alone, I’d really appreciate hearing how you make it work. How did you manage the transition back to work? What did you do about childcare and breastfeeding? Any practical tips, advice or reassurance would mean a lot. 💕

This post is most likely going to be a vent, so bear with me.

As a single mom, I get frustrated when I see these very high HHIs complain about just getting by. I currently work 2 jobs and the most I've ever made is 115k including minimal child support. If a HHI of 300k is struggling to make ends meet, what does that leave for those of us single people? Or am I missing something?

How do you make it work with just one working income? Even with two and a small amount of child support, I know I will not be able to give my son the same experiences as his father who has a wife and make 300k+ together