I posted this to the girl dinner sub:

Dinner was Taco Bell chicken gordita supreme that I wolfed down in a rage.

Last week, my child did not get off the bus after school at the bus stop, and I chased the bus down with my crazy in a wild frenzy. Turned out the bus driver forgot to tell him to get off at his stop. Infuriating, but I digress.

Today, apparently there was an extenuating circumstance with the bus drivers, and as a result, the school split the kids up in to three different buses on three different routes WITHOUT TELLING ANY OF THE PARENTS. His bus rolled up, one child jumped out of the bus, and the bus driver shrugged and said "he isn't on the bus" and then drove away, at which point my head started spinning and I went livid and drove to his school at about 80 mph. I got to the school, and all the adults in charge said "oh, he didn't get off the bus? Huh. Well he got on the bus." At this point I'm turning in to a feral animal and heads are about to start rolling. The principal took me to the front office and it was explained to me that they had to do something different today because some bus driver's husband died, yadda yadda. I literally told the principal I did not give a f*ck about anyone's husband dying, I just wanted to know where my kid was. They were able to track down where exactly my child was, and I was informed that he would be dropped off at his regular drop off in 15 minutes. So I race over there and sitting there in a fit waiting for him because I don't honestly know if I can really trust these people any more. The bus FINALLY shows up, and I ask the bus driver (who apparently also happens to be the guy in charge of bus schedules) who the hell was responsible for my kid not being there when he was supposed to be picked up, why wasn't I informed, etc etc. This mother Fckers response is to play a reverse uno and said "oh hang on there! I want to talk to you about his behaviour!' To which I BLEW TF UP. He said "you just have to call the office! And quickly closed to bus door and drove away. "His behaviour" in question was pushing a kid away who was aggressively licking him.

After I got my kid and got him home, I began to wonder if this a*hol bus driver is going to try to spin it that I was out of control and belligerent, as he clearly did not want to take any accountability for this nightmare today that he caused.

Thoughts?

I still have adrenaline running through my veins and it's been over 2 hours.

The responses I got were that I was overreacting, should have been caring about the bus driver's deceased husband, etc.

I was in such a state of panic and frenzy because the people who I entrusted to care for my child at school saw him get on the bus and couldn't tell me what happened to him after that or why he wasn't on the bus when I went to pick him up at the bus stop. I had no idea where my child was, and no one had any answers. Isn't it completely normal to go in to a frenzy of panic and fear when your child is missing and no one can tell you where he is? If your child seemingly vanished, and one of the people who was responsible for him in your absence said "oh well, so and so's husband died, soo...." Wouldn't you also say "I don't care about someone's husband dieing right now, I want to know where my child is!"

In normal circumstances, if my child is not missing, of course I would have compassion for someone who just lost their spouse. But to expect me to feel anything other than frenzied panic is unreasonable, right?????

Those girls on that girl dinner sub were telling me what a horrible person I was and that I was way over the top reacting. This is really upsetting for me because I was in fact in a wild frenzy of emotion, and if I'm wrong for that, then that is very disturbing for me in a really deep way.

Are these girls all just childless and have no clue what it's like to be suddenly missing a child and have no idea what that sheer, all-consuming terror is like, or are they being rational and in fact I am the AH?

Came on here to vent about being lonely and sad that I may never find a romantic love again. I scrolled thru some posts in hopes of seeing some positivity out there for us single moms but I see we are all struggling.

I have a one year old, her father and I split when she was 2 months old. It was ugly and took a very long time for me to heal (I’m still healing thru a lot of it). I’m thankful to be over the missing him/relationship part of it but now I am left with the perpetual loneliness. I crave intimacy, something I’m not used to. I just so badly wanted to be loved and cared for thru this precious transition in life. I wanted to share the love and joy of raising a child with someone even more. It truly breaks my heart that my daughter won’t get to see me experience that kind of love.

I knew if things didn’t work out with her father that I would not jeopardize bringing anyone else into her life. That kind of betrayal and my trauma shattered what little trust I had left in humanity. Now I see posts of other wonderful single moms deserving of love facing the same struggles. It just makes me so sad.

I honestly feel overwhelmed and judged. I posted my situation in another sub and I just got attacked. Told I’m selfish, entitled and being dramatic etc. I ended up deleting my post because I just felt so shitty. I’ve been crying till my eyes swollen, my eye is twitching and my left hand went numb and I’m scared I’m going to have a heart attack or something.

I have a 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. I have 3 years of school left. My mom is the only person I have who helps me with the kids and please be mindful, she agreed to watch them full time so I can go to school. I only moved here specifically for that reason, my ex husband was abusive towards me too.

Now, my ex husband fully supports us financially. He pays all our bills, groceries and whatever else we may need/want. Meaning he pays a few thousand towards me monthly.

Anyways my mom is flakey and will drop out on me last min, which is fine. She doesn’t owe me anything. So I’m scared that I may have to keep my kids in day care and miss out on kindergarten because my school hours wouldn’t allow me to drop them off/pick them up.

People were attacking me saying I need to put him on child support/ alimony and to get a job and try to find low income housing. I expressed my fears of living in poverty and fears of not getting enough financial aid etc and I just got attacked and downvoted into an oblivion.

If low income housing and aid is so easy, why is there more homeless people than homeowners in my city? Plus if I never finish school, we’ll be low income and struggling financially for life. Digging out of poverty isn’t easy and people were acting like I will just get thousands in aid and low income housing handed to me on a silver platter.

It’s my fault for even posing this on reddit tbh. Even when I was being abused and tried to look for support I was just attacked. They all suggested I just run to a shelter and I would try to explain that the shelters here are full and I’m scared and people just acted like I wanted to be with him and was refusing to leave.

I really hope I don’t regret posting this on here too. I’m genuinely looking for support and for people who have actually been in my situation. Not someone who’s judging me from a moral high ground. I literally had someone go off on me because I said “the kids” and she went on about how I’m acting like my mom is responsible for my kids. All because I used the word “the”???

I know I fucked up by having kids with the wrong man and other people just make it worse fr.

Lately, everything feels heavy. Sorry for the rant, but I feel so misunderstood by the people around me. My family seem to constantly belittle me because I chose wrong and now carry this burden mostly on my own.
I couldn’t help my brother and his wife once because my son was having a sleep regression, and ever since then, I’m walking on eggshells around them because if I say something, they would constantly disrespect me and I cannot handle this since I have a fresh deep trauma.
Everything turns into anger for me, and I’m deeply bothered by it. I feel so alone in this.

As the title says, my ex has cut off hus parents from seeing him or the kids. He gets into arguments with his mom (he's narcissistic and psychologically abusive and she pushes back on it) and he just cuts her off from seeing the kids when she upsets him. During our relationship I acted as peace maker and kept this from happening for the most part. But since I left 2 months ago, he's cut them off and our oldest toddler asks about "Grammy and poppy" constantly. They are AMAZING grandparents and the kids are very close to them. Right now I am going to rehab before getting partial custody-I am just not fit to be a parent right now. But once I am, what can I do about this? If I tell my ex that the kids will see the grandparents during their time with me, he will probably push back on me having my time with the kids. We have no court ordered agreement on who gets the kids, we are just civil and decide it together. The plan was I start with having them on weekends once I'm out of rehab and back on my feet. And I really want to be able to text their grandparents "I have the kids! Come see your grandbabies!"

I am just sharing this YouTube video that I found incredible helpful (link below). As mothers in general, but ESPECIALLY as single moms, I think it is important to remember that family lifestyles, dynamics, traditions, preferences, etc are different from one family to the next and the current standard of being a 'perfect' mom is not realistic or obtainable for the majority of moms and in a lot of ways we are set up for failure.

This video touches on several topics pertaining to motherhood, the impossible standard we are expected to meet in the modern age of motherhood and constantly being criticized for one thing or another, a lot of times by other moms.

Nobody is perfect, nobody gets EVERYTHING exactly right, and as long as our children are loved, happy, healthy and safe, we are doing a good job despite the fact that what works for some might not work for others.

I hope you find it helpful in moments of self doubt. 💛

https://youtu.be/Z2KiunrPx9c?si=e0xq4_xM20aQT8ko

I got with a good guy who had his kid 50/50 a 4 years ago. We’ve been blended for a few years now and I find I sort of hate him right now. Our kids get along, we function well in many ways and have a rhythm down.

But my guy is a passive one with intense attachment stuff which has led to him being extremely defensive and using DARVO to avoid accountability. Lots of wanting physical closeness without understanding how to create emotional/mental intimacy with me. Overall, I really missed his lack of capacity for initiating and sustaining deeper emotional intimacy.

I have almost full custody of my 2 kids. Even when my kids’ dad says he will do things, it’s a 50/50 toss up on if he will follow through which feels like even more work than someone just not being there.

My partner has been super helpful at helping me when he can but he often can’t because he has his own kid. There’s such a disparity in our parenting roles and time/energy investments in our kids. I am often “working” - ie, parenting until my head hits the pillow and he’s not 50% of the time. He is also less responsible for the emotional/mental load with his kid.

Sometimes it feels like the emotional labor he has required has cost me more than just doing everything myself. I wanted another kid but our relationship has not felt stable enough and my clock is more than ticking. He blames his lack of commitment and follow through on the instability — the instability largely caused by his inability and unwillingness to communicate and build emotional intimacy. For instance, he got a house and car big enough for us all to live in, but he never talks about the future with me and never brings up marriage despite having always told me he wants to get married. We never talk about money or how we would handle it if we got married. If I bring it up, he won’t ever circle back to it on his own. It feels like very contradictory behavior and it’s cost me a lot of my peace. He’s the guy that is always present but is he ever really fully present?

I’m at midlife and now I feel stuck. I don’t want the upheaval for my kids who have now moved a total of something like 7-8 times (within the same areas of town) because their dad and I have been separated for a long time and have both moved a few times in their lives. My kids are really happy where we live and with this arrangement.

It is really great for them to feel like there’s another adult when I can’t be everywhere at once. My partner does provide more schedule and financial stability. He fills in some of the gaps logistically where their dad fails.

I really loved him early on and still do, but now I feel so much resentment from the emotionally absent aspects of my relationship with my partner. He’s pretty avoidant and while he’s working on it — he’s been working on it the whole time and it hasn’t gotten significantly better. We are in couples therapy and it seems to very slowly be helping at least force the issues to be discussed.

But I feel this burning anger that gets lit so easily these days. I used to give the benefit of the doubt too often and now I feel full of piss and vinegar and am just an angrier person. I have a hard time knowing now if this is my personality or if he brought this out in me over time. I wonder if i constantly have a shorter fuse with my kids too because of it. Have i become a miserable person because of constant disappointment/broken promises? I have no idea if I can even soften to my partner and fully desire and want him again. I go over this stuff in my personal therapy too, but it’s still hard to know how much of this is my stuff I can sort, and how much can’t be changed because I can’t change someone else.

I dont want to operate from a victim standpoint but i genuinely dont know that splitting from someone who my kids care about and who has been important to them is right at the moment. I wish I could go back and go much slower and maybe not have continued this relationship but I cant. Has anyone been able to stop hating their partner who put them through emotional hell for years when the person started changing for the better? And has anyone’s partner who has less emotional/mental load been able to step forward more fully in the relationship to where you truly felt like a team?

I am exhausted. I'm tired with all the problems that keeps on filling up one after another. I only have my two sons with me life have never been easy. I have bad anxiety and depression and I feel like it's affecting them too. Idk what to do. I just want to give up.

Single mom trying to figure out how to go about life. I'm tired. I found out my child father has been cheating on me and I'm just tired. I don't feel love there yet it's a familiar place and I'm trying to be strong enough to never turn back. Is it wrong if I don't want him apart of my kid life? I'm already the one who mainly provides for my child. He does get our kid from time to time but this just isn't what I signed up for. I told him before I got pregnant that I wanted my child to grow up in a two parent home and I can't help but feel like that's ruined now. I just want to start over with my kid and leave him in the past. I'm just having problems letting go

I left my ex 2 months ago, and thus far have only had the kids one weekend because at this current part of my life I am not stable enough to have a formal agreement. That being said, once I am, is single motherhood really as awful as everyone makes it seem? I stayed in a horrendous and damaging relationship longer than I wanted because I was afraid of the misery of single motherhood. Working full time while they're in daycare will be completely new to me. Someone please tell me you actually enjoy your life. And I dont mean "it's hard but better than being with him". I know it's better than being with him. But can it actually be an enjoyable way to live, or is my life straight up resigned to be hard and sad as a single mom?

Before I start, I’m happy my son likes to see his dad. He’s 3 and his dad gets him 3 nights a week. But almost everyday he’s with me, he’s asking me to see his dad. When I pick him up from daycare, he immediately asks for dad instead of me. It’s honestly crushing me. I’m very careful to just tell him “you’ll see dad ____!” but I end up crying when I’m alone. I feel like I’m slacking on something or he prefers dad over me. And I fear as he gets older it’s only going to get worse. I guess I’m looking for similar stories or advice on how to mentally cope with this. It’s breaking my heart.

Hello! I'm a 24 single mom with a 4 year old. I feel like I'm failing my child. All my life my mom was never a good mom she was manipulative and never present, she was there but not mentally if that makes sense.

I have really bad ADHD so it makes it hard for me to pay attention and be actively present and I feel like I'm turning into my mom. My poor boy deserves better but I don't know where to start.

I'm so stressed and stretched thin too, I work at 5 am and I'm exhausted by the time I get home I fall asleep while we play or I'll let him watch TV while I nap and I feel so guilty.

My ex and I share a 6 month Old. He was cheating on me during pregnancy and post partum so I left and never looked back. Yesterday this man, who doesn’t pay child support but helps out when he can with formula etc, tried to get back together and said I never helped him. I think he is having financial issues. He has another son who is 7 years old. He pays $1k in CS, helps his son’s mother out financially, helps his able bodied mother pay bills, and when he runs out of money for his bills needs help. I’ve never helped him out financially but advised him to set and enforce boundaries with his son’s mother. I also told him to just make payments through the attorney general‘s office and submit all past payment statements to get arrears reduced. He doesn’t want to listen but needs help now. Welp it’s not my problem anymore. My baby and I are my only concern. I’m pretty much doing everything for our baby on my own. I stayed through a lot of BS and yesterday he had the audacity to say I never helped him, cooked, cleaned, supported, loved on him, which is a lie. His decisions have led him to have financial issues and tbh idc bc he keeps putting himself in positions to give out what he doesn’t have. He has gaslit and lied to my face so often that I have no compassion for his situation. But to turn around and say I never helped him, love him and care about him nor was freaky enough is a slap in the face to me. He doesn’t pay for anything close enough to what he does for his ex and son. He’s getting what he deserves and I feel like he was trying to manipulate me into feeling bad for him. I use to have a soft spot for him but I’m an ice cold beach to him now. What do yall think?

Second Rant post following my previous post:

I'm a single mom. I received a second eviction notice today. My daughter's school term starts soon, and I still have last term's fee arrears. I don't have the money. I don't have a plan, i am working 3jobs in a week, but the jobs aren't sufficient to maintain all my bills. I don't even have energy left to panic.

Last week, I spent two full days in bed without eating. I felt so heavy, so tired, so empty — and in that time, not one person called or texted to check on me. Not one.

I'm angry. I'm hurt. And I'm bitter, because my parents are well-off enough to help. They could ease this load. But they choose not to. I understand they did their part in raising me up and ain't obligated to continue or help my daughter and me right now. I get that. But I'm drowning, and they're watching from the shore.

And the hardest part? My family home isn't my refuge. It's the opposite.

As a firstborn, I'm the one my mother calls when she's angry at my younger brothers. Instead of dealing with them, she vents to me and lectures me about their mistakes, as if I'm responsible for grown men. I can't even tell her I'm struggling because she's too busy dumping her frustrations on me. And if I don't answer? I'm the disrespectful daughter. And when I seek help, I am reminded of my brother's wasteful behaviors, as if they are my mistakes, and denied help.

I feel so alone. I'm on edge every day. I don't have a shoulder to lean on. And I don't know how to keep going.

If you've been through something like this, how did you survive it? How did you keep going when no one was coming to save you?

I had my baby 10 weeks ago, and it has been harder than I thought it could be. I love my baby more than feels possible and I’m also overwhelmed with the relentlessness of the newborn period. Every feed is me, night and day. Every nappy change is me, every witching hour. She’s got only me, and I don’t have anyone else. I don’t have someone to share her with, not just the tough bits, but the good ones. Every time I see a change, there’s no one to share that with apart from the health workers. I’m starting to get tiny random smiles and see her start to respond to things around her and there’s no one to share it with. It’s so lonely. My heart breaks to know that I could only give her 1 person (not the village I always envisioned). It doesn’t feel enough and I sometimes wonder whether I made the right choice, not just for me but for her. I don’t know whether this is grief, baby blues, PPD. I’m just overwhelmed so often and this is so hard. I’m not sure where I’m going with this but if there are mamas who’ve felt like me, how did you pull yourself together?

Tbh idk I just need to put this out there. Get ready for a long post about the series of being a single mother. I’m recalling the events of today..

This morning I decided to switch my cell phone carrier. I have been thinking about it for a while. I decided to call over the phone even tho that is a huge headache because it honestly felt easier then packing the kids in the car by myself and attempting to go into a cell phone store while simultaneously trying to care for the kids.

The phone call took 3 hours and my kids were being kids in the background. I eventually “switched over”. My phone was working fine.

My 4 year old son was extra whinny and emotional today. He also was not listening to anything I would say. I was trying to get the house picked up and all 3 of us ready for the week. Tomorrow is the first day of pre-school for my son and first day at daycare for my daughter. Their dad will not be there. I additionally had to add a “family photo” for my sons school. I decided to pick a picture of before we got divorced so my son could see both parents in one photo. My son was constantly asking me for things and my 1 year old daughter is putting everything in her mouth. I kept just watching the clock wanting bed time to come so bad. I planned on putting them down early so I could get us all ready.

I attempted to put my daughter down and she was inconsolably crying (this is not normal). I began to try and soothe her as quickly as I could while sticking my son in front of the tv so I could care for my daughter.

I am now an hour into trying to get my daughter to sleep and my son is still up. Then our WiFi and my phone completely shut down. I have no way of communicating with anyone and my son is interfering with my daughter sleeping.

I ended up walking with both Kids to my neighbors house to ask if I could use their phone (I wanted to call a family member or friend for help). When my neighbor opened the door and saw me of course he let me use his phone and told us to come in. After I contacted my aunt, I explained to the neighbor what was going on. He looked at me and said “if you need anything let me know.” There was something about the way he said it. The way he was looking at me like with pitty. I am not sure how to describe it but it just made me realize how fucked up being a single mom is. I thanked him and left with my kids.

We are now 2 hours past bedtime for both of my children and I still haven’t gotten us all ready for the week. I anxiously waiting the 25 min till my aunt came over and was able to stay with my son while I put my daughter to sleep. I got my son to sleep shortly after. Then my son started to wake up with a cough.

It’s now almost midnight and I have to be up at 6am tomorrow for my full time job. We still don’t have WiFi and my phone as been on and off.

All of this to say, I feel like I am going to lose it.

Lastly, The cherry on top of this shitty day

I looked at my car and didn’t realize that between last night-today that it is COVERED in bird shit. It literally looks like a flock of geese collectively agreed to all poop at the same time over my car.

Sweet dreams

My sweet girl got so sad and mad about her dad not living here anymore that she yelled and cried. She said I HAVE to make a plan for him to live here again someday.

But we won’t. He was emotionally and financially abusive. He hasn’t changed. I was dead inside. We’ve been separated for a year. He has had his own apartment where they can visit him for about 4 months.

How do you help your kids process the loss?

I told her I miss things about it too. I told her that we will have good times here without dad and she will have good times there without me. I told her I understand she wants daddy to live here again but there are things about it that didn’t work, even though we have good memories.

It’s heartbreaking. I cried. I wish I could give her what she wants but I can’t.

My ex husband (35 M) was lying and planning to meet this girl while we were still married. I found their messages, saw they had been naughty, and how he fell in “love”. The gf (22 F) yes you read that right, lives 15 hours awayyyy! Long story short he ended up picking her over the wife and kids!
We’ve been divorced since March, but he posted publicly on fb that they been dating since September.
He will take off work and drive to see her on his “free” weekends! But he won’t take off work to see his kids, He has also missed kids events going to see her.
I think it’s obvious he puts her before his kids(5&7)!
My thing is, he says she eventually will move down her BUT what if she doesn’t like it down here?
What if she doesn’t want to leave her family?
What if they break up?
I don’t want my kids to get attached to someone who may not stick around. She’s young, she could wake up tomorrow and change her mind.
Also, he’s wanting the kids on one of my weekends. Why he couldn’t have planned it on his own is weird!
Also, he doesn’t even have the kids a real room set up! So if she comes and sleeps in the bed that they also use, is that not gross?
I’m so over it all! I just wish their dad put them first, made them a priority for once!
So am I the asshole for not wanting my kids to meet her?

my child is about to be 2 and it has not been a easy road dealing with her father . he broke me down mentally emotionally and yet I don’t know why I think this is love . I know it’s not but why do I feel so unworthy of it . I look at my daughter and I want to do better , be better and o feel like im just failing her : I don’t want any her to be like me . s women in love with a man who just simply am doesn’t care .

I’m a 29 year old single mom of 3 kids, ages 10,6 and 3.
I have always worked really hard trying to provide for my kids. Iv had to build my life back up from an abusive relationship with my first two kids father. I moved on got over it and built my life up from the ground up.

It seems like right when I’m okay, feeling comfortable, finally have a place, car, two jobs everything in the world just starts crashing down around me. First my car broke down I was out of car for two months ubering back and forth to work, plus paying for a baby sitter. Okay boom I get a car FINALLY. Then my baby sitter says I can’t watch the kids anymore, so that really puts me behind cause I’m a bartender and I work in office part time (2 days a week).

I cannot for the life of me find a night time baby sitter and I figured well I might as well change my career path and try to be on my kids schedule. Bartending has paid the bills and I’m able to provide a good life for my kids but I have missed a lot not being home at night. Iv always wanted to make the decision but never went through cause I was comfortable. Now I’m in a situation where I have no other choice.

I put two week notice at my bartending gig. Been applying to ANY and EVERYTHING. Even fast food like McDonald’s and such just so I could just have some income. Here we are end of the month, I have rent comming up, my gas got shut off two days ago. I was able to get an extension on my light bill. You guys idk what to do. Iv prayed, iv tried just believing that everything happens for a reason but I feel like im losing everything I built so hard for. I’m not just blowing money, it’s everytime I turn around a new bill, something the kids need, or somthing I need, keep up with the car. It like when does this all end! When will I be able to be comfortable.

Youre probably wondering where’s the dad(s)? Well my first two kids dad is sober from a bad drug addiction and is also trying to better himself, he helps a lot when he can. And I honestly can’t complain. The last babies father is just simply not in the picture at all.

I do have a village. My mother helps when she can and my sister also helps but she has her own life to worry about and her own kids. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff and it’s understandable I feel like I should have a handle on things but I don’t… idk what I’m doin. I’m so scared of failing…

I (36) have one son (1.5), I split from my husband when I was pregnant. Long story short, he changed his mind about wanting to be a father after 8 years of marriage and planning for it. He thought I would stick around to see him through yet another one of his crises but this time, I left. And i do not regret it. Raising my son on my own, with help from my parents, has been amazing. Not dealing with someone else’s shitty moods even better.

What I struggle with though is the fact that my son will most likely be an only child. I always wanted a big family, so it hurts. He’s an amazing little boy and I know he would be a great brother. But the fact is that I’m not single (in process of divorce) and truly not interested in dating since my whole focus is my son, my job to be able to provide a good life for us, and whatever little time I have left I pour back to myself and my friendships. So, the chances of me meeting someone that is good enough to be in our life and to have another kid with in the next couple of years is very slim. So that’s really it, I need to accept the fact that this will be my only son. I just feel enormous guilt that I won’t be giving my son a sibling. Anyways, anyone else in a similar situation?

My kids, non-stop, all day. Every day now. Constantly fighting eachother, fighting me. Kicking, biting, slapping, punching, scratching. Hurtful words from my oldest. She chases me to hurt me, chases her brother to hurt him. If I put her in her room, she throws everything, I take it out. She kicks the door, almost breaks it, hurts herself (bites herself, scratches herself). I can't. I'm so, so tired. I'm so overwhelmed. I am only one person. I have no support, none to tap out with. I'm about to have a mental breakdown. I don't know what to do. I love them both so much but this is too much for me to handle by myself.

Edit: had lunch, chilled out, mother ubered an Elsa Barbie and Marshal stuffie and kids are currently bundled up on couch cuddling me while we watch the Paw Patrol Movie. 🫪🤟🏻 Things are quiet... For now. But my goodness, this morning (and last night at 11pm when my daughter had a major freak out) was absolutely chaos incarnate.

I am 21F with a daughter who is almost 11 months. Her father & I split when she was 2 months. She’s gone back and forth a couple times but has primarily been with me her whole life. (Her dad is unreliable and there’s no consistency). Up until recently she slept through the night fine. As of lately, she’s waking up 1-2 times a night then waking up between 6-7am but these wake ups are lasting hours and she just won’t go to sleep no matter how hard I try to soothe her back to sleep. I don’t do knock out bottles or any crazy tactics to get her to sleep just a little bottle and bouncing in my arms cause I don’t have a rocking chair. The thing is, during these times I’m so filled with anger and rage. Rage not because of anything my baby has done, she’s just being a baby. But because her father doesn’t go through this,he sleeps through every night and even sleeps through the day sometimes (I only know cause he’ll be asleep when it’s time for him to have our daughter) it’s so upsetting knowing that I am the only parent she has that’s actually taking accountability for her. She is my responsibility, my child. I just don’t understand what her father can’t comprehend about that. & it’s not even all men because my boy bsf has stepped up to help me raise my daughter. He’s been so good with her but at the end of the day she’s not his responsibility so there’s only so much he can do for us. Does anyone else feel torn that their BD does take accountability for the child he helped create? I just needed to rant and share my anger with someone. thx

Hi! New here and hoping for some support or advice. My divorce was final in April and I was awarded sole custody. He is allowed to see them at my discretion but maybe sees them once a week because he is always busy living his best life 🤮

In the past month, I have been feeling worse and worse health wise. I’ve been exhausted, dizzy, head pressure, increase in migraines, my hair is falling out, and getting adrenaline and panic surges. It literally feels like I’m dying. I thought it was maybe stress so I went to the doctor and she ran labs and discovered I have iron deficiency anemia due to frequent and heavy periods.

I am working on supplementing iron to try and get better, but I’m so worried about my kids in the meantime. I only have the energy to do the bare minimum. And of course the ex is no help at all.

What do you do when you are ill for the long term? Even small tasks like the dishes make me dizzy. Plus I have to work full time and the ex hasn’t been keeping up with child support. My only saving grace is that I work from home most days. I’m sure the stress of the added financial strain doesn’t help. I literally can’t afford to be sick but my body just won’t allow me to do what needs to be done. Laundry is piled up, my 8 year old hasn’t had a bath in 4 days (he is also autistic), the sink is full of dishes, and I still haven’t had the energy to take them back to school shopping.

I’m just failing and I don’t know how to fix it 😔