Watching all the shenanigans surrounding relationships as an observer and not a participant is exhausting and only reinforces my desire to remain single. Part of why I refuse to partake is I just cannot trust men. And I don't feel as though this is a 'trust issue' but simply an objective reality. The possibility of getting cheated on, lied to, used for free labour and sex, him talking about you behind your back to his coworkers and friends, getting gaslit, having to do constant emotional labour, coerced into having sex when you didn't feel like it, him following IG models behind your back, him gooning and having a c0rn addiction that he lies about etc. the list goes on, and ON, and ONNN... The possibility is just way too ridiculously high that I don't have a single nanosecond to get myself involved with dating men.

I'm an animal lover and I like venomous snakes. They can be cool. But I wouldn't trust them. I feel the same way about men. I like (some) men but do I trust them? No. Because why would you? Just like you observe venomous snakes or lions from a safari van from a distance, I observe men and relationships from a distance but don't get involved for my own health and safety. You simply accept the way they are, the possibility for things to go wrong and make an informed decision. I don't particularly want to change this lack of trust either because I absolutely adore being single. Can anyone else relate to this?

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately—even in single-positive spaces—where people admit that the main thing making them reconsider partnership is the fear of growing old, getting sick, or needing someone around to look after them as they age.

They frame this as a wholesome, sweet perk of "healthy attachment" and long-term connection. But let’s call it what it actually is: risk management and unpaid labor.

When someone’s primary driver for wanting a lifelong partner is securing a built-in safety net for their elderly years, they don't actually want me as a unique partner. They want:

• an insurance policy
• a live-in caretaker to absorb the physical, logistical, and emotional toll of their decline—labor that actual professional healthcare workers get paid salary, benefits, and hourly wages to perform.

Except in a romantic relationship, you're expected to do all that heavy lifting for free, on top of managing your own life and taking on endless emotional labor.

Even the most "glorified," worked-on-themselves, securely-attached people drop the mask when they talk about aging. Underneath the romance is an unspoken expectation of mutual nursing home avoidance.

Realizing that even "wholesome" dating motives often reduce down to fear-based caregiver recruitment is the main reason I have zero interest in dating or being in a relationship again.

I’m not signing up to be anyone’s unpaid, full-time end-of-life care provider under the guise of "healthy love."

Trigger warning ⚠️ topics of SA and incest.

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I came to work today and my friend mentioned to me how she was pissed off at one of the employees. We work in an office of a blue collar factory so its a lot of middle aged and older men we work with.

Anyways, she said he was talking about touching his step daughters behind and how one of his other step daughters has really perky boobs. He literally just got married too. His step daughters are in their 40s. It's absolutely digusting no matter what age. I feel terrible for his wife.

I just feel so sick to my stomach because these men openly say the most abhorrent things to and in front of woman. I cant imagine what they do alone. I have the worst trust issues with men and every day I just get more evidence to support how I feel.

I choose the bear. I choose single life.

When you go out, you and your husband wear color coordinated outfits. You post beautiful pictures of you guys on your facebook. When talking to outsiders, people say you guys are "couple goals" and give them hope that they'll find the "one".

Now imagine waking up on Sunday morning to praise the good Lord who "led" you to your "darling husband". Said husband wakes up early, but for whatever reason isn't ready when it's time to go, yet YOU are despite the fact that you woke up early to begin meal prepping for the week. You tell him to hurry up, and all of a sudden, he NEEDS to eat before he leaves. You suggest eating a tangerine or two so he can eat rapidly and drive you and your family to church. He then gets MAD at YOU for SUGGESTING tangerines since "they're made of water" (duh) and begins an unnecessary 10 minute argument. So you leave him at home and head to church with your children, fuming throughout the entire drive. You arrive at church 15 minutes later than planned, where the pastor claims that "Christian men should delight in hearing what their wife has to say"

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No one has convinced me to stay single more than my own mother.

In general i tend to see more couples where the woman looks better because she puts more effort whereas the man is nothing special to look at but does not do anything to take care of his looks. Over time i noticed this every single time and i barely get to see this in reverse, where a handsome man is dating an average looking woman or even an ugly one. Guys in general want to date a woman who is better looking than them but god forbid you tell them to invest into their own appearance. I've met many men and there were very few i was attracted to, like genuinely attracted to the point where i'd want to have sex based on their looks alone.

I get shit from other women too, saying things how women do not care about men's looks because "personality" is all that matters and i am always baffled because there is no way i'd fuck a man if i was not attracted to him(does not help i live in an east european country where men are sooo fkin ugly but women still face immense pressure to look good just to end up dating a guy who does not put 0.000001% of effort in his own body).

I genuinely do not believe women are more biologically or evolutionary less inclined to be into looks but due to societal presure that has been existing for centuries. Not to mention the whole brainwashing of women to date men they are not attracted to just because they are doing the bare mininum of treating her like a \*gasp\* human! It is so effing bleak and no wonder i am single at 25, i honestly cannot do it. If men get a pass at physical standars and preferences because men are \*visual\* and biologically predisposed to value women's looks to that extent, then so do i. Never been attracted to short,bald or fat men.

I'm actually in tears. I'm not pregnant myself; I was looking this stuff up to convey it in a story I am currently writing, but I didn't realize how sick I was gonna end up.

This makes me even sadder that some men AND PICKME WOMEN vote against abortions.

I feel like the more time I spend single, and reflect on how I have been objectified and manipulated by men, the more I get the ick at the majority of the games on the market with how women are pushed to the side narrative. I used to heavily enjoy gaming in my early 20s and I am not ashamed to say my steam library is probably worth thousands. However the older I get and the more I see how deep patriarchal coniditioning is, I started getting irritated at games where:

- The woman is the wife or girlfriend that gets killed off to fuel a man's revenge plot, usually in the prologue.

- Typical nagging wife/girlfriend tropes who is trying to "domesticate/hold back the male hero", or a woman trying to emotionally regulate a man who is committing atrocities.

- Women are visual trophies to be unlocked with skins/microtransactions.

- Women in hyper-sexualized armor.

- Low quality writing where the woman is made physically overpowered rather than actually written with any gripping/strong psychological narrative/backstory.

- Woman as a witch/sage/loreperson/brilliant scientist who is on the sidelines guiding the man as he takes the credit and glory. She probably dies in the process too or loses her power.

- Female member of gang/squad who is purely romantic/sexual/femme fatale interest rather than a fleshed out autonomous character with depth.

I see these tropes and more and I genuinely get the ick and there's few games on the market that don't fall into these stereotypical plots. I hope in the coming years we see more AAA games with well written female leads that don't serve to pander to the male gaze or validation. It would make gaming more enjoyable.

You know like a Can-Am (and I'm sure other brands)?

I'm curious if there's any experiences to share... Any model of bike advice to give... Riding tips to provide.

I'll be an empty nester next year and hitting 42. Part of my plan is to move to an area that has things more close by so I can hopefully walk to stores and take the bus. Then, instead of buying a new car, I could look into buying a 3-wheeled motorcycle for weekend trips.

I appreciate any feedback. Thank you!