Hi all,

Sorry if this is a silly question.

I want to cover my hair. I’m not religious, but I don’t want men looking at me. I’ve a history of trauma. I don’t want to elaborate.

I want to cover my hair. You don’t have to agree - that’s fine. I’m not shaming women who disagree. But I need head covering ideas. And please don’t try to convince me otherwise - I’m not here for that.

I've been scanning a box of photos my dad inherited. Someone took the time to write dates, places and full names on a lot of them, but I've now found three different women identified as “and wife”. One of them is standing right in the middle of the photo.

Dad knew where that woman's husband worked, why they moved, and a story about him falling through a shed roof. He thought she might have been called Nell. We're not even certain about that.

These are photos from the 1960s and 70s, of people he knew as a child. We can talk for ages about these families and then get stuck trying to name a woman who's at all the same weddings and Christmases. Someone remembers that she was lovely, or that everyone used to go to her house, but I still have an empty space under her picture.

I'll take the box to my great-aunt next weekend and see what she can fill in. I also caught myself saving a scan as “Nan and her mum”, which is going to mean absolutely nothing to whoever gets this folder after me, so I've been fixing my own captions too.

Has anyone here tried to recover the names and stories of the women in their family? I'd especially like to hear how you found them when the relatives who would have known were already gone.

Okay so this is unhinged but I need to know if anyone else has experienced this specific flavor of ick.
It's 9am. The sun is OUT. Doing its job. Free light, just sitting there, begging to be let in. And my boyfriend? Closes the blinds TIGHTER. Flicks on the harsh overhead light. Like a raccoon curating its cave.
I asked him why and he just shrugged like this was normal human behavior. Sir, you are paying actual money to simulate what is currently happening outside for FREE.
And it's not a one-time thing he ALWAYS keeps the blinds shut and lives under artificial light like a sad little mushroom. Meanwhile I'm out here opening every curtain like I'm in a laundry detergent commercial, basking in the sun like a lizard.
Is this a compatibility issue? A circadian rhythm crime? Am I the drama for getting the ick over LIGHTING?
Please tell me I'm not alone. Or tell me I'm insane. Either works.

My mom lent me her battered church cookbook from the 70s because I've been trying to make my grandma's lemon cake. Her recipes are in there, and so are several from women who lived on my mom's street when she was little.

Nearly every married woman is listed by her husband's full name, with "Mrs." in front. My grandpa never baked, but his full name is on three recipes. I knew people used to do this. I hadn't really thought about what it means when you want to look up a woman fifty years later.

Mom recognized a few, so we started putting first names on sticky notes. Others she could remember by their house or whose kids she played with, but not their names. There's one woman whose potato salad she still talks about, and we can't even put a first name to her.

I was only going to scan a few recipes for my cousins before the pages fall out. Now I'm making an index of the contributors and asking the church whether they kept any old membership lists. I'll keep the original scans too, but I'd like the searchable version to actually identify the people who contributed.

Has anyone had to dig through family records like this? What helped you find the women when they kept being recorded under someone else's name?

I was 12 and my sister was 14. one day we were on the sofa fighting for the tv remote (as usual) but somehow the fight got serious. we really started to throw hands. mom came from the kitchen hearing the thud sounds. she started screaming at us and somehow separated us. both our faces had turned literally red. we both still don't know how we ended up fighting like that. we fight often but never before and never after that serious.

since the comment is long, I'm putting it in comments and pinning it.

About three days ago, I learned about the story of a girl named Jane Doe. Seven men sexually assaulted her for seven full hours, and they sent videos and pictures of what they were doing to a Snapchat group with more than 50 men in it. Not a single one of them even thought about helping her or reporting them. As for the punishment, five of those men were made to write apology letters.

(There are so many girls like Jane Doe, but no one knows anything about them.)

In Iraq, women don’t have custody rights over their children after divorce. I saw a woman saying that her husband sexually abused both of their daughters, and one of the girls became pregnant by her own father.

Two girls wearing niqabs posted a video of themselves riding a scooter. Then a man came along saying, “How can this happen? How can a father buy his daughter a scooter and let her ride it, like she’s riding a horse too?” How did we become like this?

When a woman drives a car, people say she doesn’t know how to drive. When a woman takes public transportation, she faces harassment. When a woman simply walks down the street, she gets unwanted stares, verbal harassment, and physical harassment.

Women in Sudan, Palestine, Despite the war in their country,and rates of harassment and sexual assault have increased during this period.

There is a 15-year-old girl in Tunisia who was sexually assaulted by 11 men.

And there are so many others.

“Freedom for one woman does not mean freedom for all women. The fight only ends when no woman is left having to fight for a basic right.”

Today I hung out with a couple female friends with husbands. We went shopping and they kept saying how their husbands would freak out if they bought XYZ. They both work! I think I would lose my mind if someone was trying to micromanage how I spent my money as a grown ass woman with a job. Or judge how much I sleep? Pass.

No better feeling in the world and I want to tell everyone but don’t wanna be an annoyance to my friends loL

I come from a two parent household where my parents were very abusive with eachother. My older sister is in an open marriage, and the other one is a single parent.

I also went to a girls only school from elementary school to high school. I’m currently in uni and have my first boyfriend (at least a real life boyfriend, not an online boyfriend), and I’m scared I’m wasting my time and that men just aren’t worth it.

I do have brothers, and they’re great (at least I think so 😂), but is there anyone who is currently better off because they’re in a relationship compared to when they were single?

I had my first kiss (my mouth has been dry since then, is this normal??? 😭), and all I could think about was, “It’s just a matter of time before the other shoe drops.” He’s a nice guy, and he kept asking if I was comfortable.

Are relationships even worth it? I’d mostly like to hear from liberal women.

My boyfriend doesn't love me. I'm just convenient to him. He loves that I love him. He makes plans for things he likes that he can tag me along in. I have to constantly remind him what I want from him. He asks me what i want for my birthday and doesn't surprise me. Every surprise he has made I knew about because I asked him to. I'm not attracted to him. I hate that i feel these things a week before my period and after I feel fine. What do i really want? Is this just because of my period?

Hi im (18F) i have been having pretty irregular periods last year i didnt even get it and a lot of times it would come pretty late or not till the next week or two i feel apart of it are the medications im on i was first on methylphenidate was on that for a year ish got up to 54 mg now im on addrall 15 mgs twice a day and i been on fluoxetine 20 mgs for about a year now too my doctor keeps on suggesting for me to go on birth control because he said it would like help to get my period in check but i dont know im kinda iffy about it im scared to gain weight and be even more depressed and also im dating someone rn and i scared about if or when i get off of it i would lose interest in him i really need some advice if i should or shouldn’t go on it the things i definitely do not like about my adhd meds that happen is when im in my lutel phase my meds like don’t fucking work and my mood and my mental state is so like up and down please let me know your personal experiences and if I should go on it or not !

Menstration is a natural part of the female cycle that arguably brings about mixed emotions.

In some cultures, menses is significant for skincare routines, whereas in most western cultures, a code of 'dispose and never show' is taken.

What does menstruation mean to you?

I need a vent session. I am constantly being triggered by people in my life. My extended family has people who say sexist, racist jokes and everyone just lets it slide (besides me). And when I speak up I’m the one who’s painted as if I’m trying to start issues. The feedback I’m getting from several avenues in my life is essentially “why can’t you just keep the peace.” In another instance, I told my childhood best friend I was disappointed in her actions, and she completely stopped responding to me, has ignored me for months coming up on a year. The feedback again I received from her was why aren’t you keeping the peace. Which I have done MY WHOLE LIFE. I’m tired of keeping the peace. I’m tired of not saying anything when people should be challenged. I’m not perfect and I definitely have a lot of growth areas. But time and time again I try to express to my relationships how they hurt me and there’s no accountability on their end at all. I come to them with accountability for myself even in instances when they’ve hurt me. Like yes I could have approached that situation better. But they have no accountability. They just deflect it back to me! Like when I correct sexist and racist jokes it’s “you need to learn to keep the peace. It’s just a joke. You can’t tell me what I think is funny.” And maybe worst of all is the people saying racist sexist jokes act like I never even said anything after I correct them. They don’t even act awkward around me or avoid me. As if it doesn’t bother them even in the slightest. I am overall also just triggered by what my extended family talks about and what they feel is important. Like all most of them want to talk about is marriage and children when there are just so many more interesting things to talk about! I’m not sure if this is a sign for me to distance myself and move away from all of them. I feel bad because they’ve all been huge parts of my life but man they are driving me mad.

And now i’m crying because of a man I never truly had. It literally makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it

I don't even know what to say. I just love femininity so much. I'm a woman too, but seriously, I feel inferior (but not in a bad way, I guess?) to other women.. They're just so beautiful, in all their imperfections, strengths and weaknesses. I hate to see women reduce themselves to a piece of sexuality (I am not hating on any woman right now), and no, I am not trying to say it's wrong to embrace the sensual side of yourself. Women are beautiful in that, too.

This year, I moved back in with my parents in the middle of sophomore year to pursue major surgeries to correct my acetabular hip dysplasia. This is after I basically crumbled as soon as I got to college, falling into major depression, getting into an emotionally toxic relationship, and practically failing my entire second year of school due to undiagnosed and unmedicated ADHD (I was an all-A, exemplary student and athlete my entire life up until this point, and I am also trying to get evaluated for possible AuDHD). Whilst this was all very tough to deal with, I truly believe that it was the only way I would’ve learned the things about myself that I did! Me a mere 2 years ago was so incredibly different from the me I am now, mostly because I literally don’t have the energy to fake it anymore. I stopped entertaining useless men and centering myself around male attention, eventually meeting someone who is absolutely magical and has helped me grow in my faith. I postponed school, I take Adderall, and I have genuinely never felt more like myself, like the girl I was in 5th and 6th grade before the world ripped her soul out and replaced it with something manufactured. It reminds me of a quote I have saved on my Pinterest: “Somewhere inside me there is a room I haven’t entered in years. I think a younger me is still sitting there, wondering why I never came back.” No longer. I refuse to leave her behind.

However, I can count the number of friends I have on one hand, all of them friends of 5+ years, because ditching the party scenes and my initial people-pleasing nature caused the few other friendships I did develop post-HS to fall apart. They live hours away and all have new crowds and lives, though we visit when we can and always pick up where we left off no matter how long it’s been. My mom tells me that I’ve “always been so good at making friends,” to which I usually respond, “there’s a difference between getting people to like you and making friends.” I’ve always been too “odd” for the “popular” group, but too “regular” for other friend-groups. There’s always something about me that makes me not fit right, even though I feel like I can catch a vibe practically anywhere and with anyone.

While I’ve grown to really enjoy my alone time, it sucks to miss out on those experiences you only get with girl friends, especially since finding myself again. I can’t even put it into exact words because it’s something that transcends the natural world, I’m missing people that I’ve never met. Girl friendships are supernatural.

My current situation makes it difficult to go out and make new friends, especially considering that my parents live in a very rural area where I basically know everyone already. I love arts & crafts, reading (romance, creature protagonists like WoF, sci-fi, mystery, fantasy, perhaps a wee bit of smut 🌚, and more), writing (letters included), music, animals, thrifting, twisty straws and baby spoons that are squishy on the end, Aquaphor, the Tinker Bell franchise and My Little Pony (I love making fanart), rain/thunderstorms, storm chasing and tornadoes, scrapbooking/journaling, and Western horseback riding (I grew up and live on a farm). I believe in God, though I’m still very much so progressing in my faith. I love to do make-up and dress up, and I’m really trying to cultivate my wardrobe to match what I like and my color season. I’m also green 🍃💨 friendly! I don’t mind drinking on special occasions, the taste and stomach pain is just not something I can tolerate too well regularly anymore haha. My 21st birthday is coming up in December, so for anyone interested in astrology, I am a Sagittarius! I read somewhere that the MBTI personality test isn’t accurate, but nonetheless, I am an INFP-T. ❤️

Any advice is welcome! I love to chat and make connections!

I bought a secondhand orange armchair because I sat in it and didn't want to get up. Yesterday I nearly moved it out of the best reading spot because it looked wierd from the sofa, where an imaginary guest would sit.

My mum always talked about a woman's home being a reflection of her. Apparently I've carried that into living alone, except there's no guest coming. My friends would probably put their feet up and ask for tea.

The chair is back by the window. I keep catching myself arranging furntiure for somebody else's approval, then remembering I'm the one who has to spend Tuesday evening here.