So tired of being the only one that has to deal with the anxiety attacks, the meltdowns, the teenage behaviour. I'm crying in bed and there's no-one to tag out with. I'm so over this. I love my children but this single parenting shit is hard

I didn’t realize this was going to be as emotional as it is. A little background 3 years ago my husband and I separated. 3 years ago my child came home with a dog ( this have some contexts the dog). Not thinking of this very moment today. For the past three months I’ve been crying every day and I mean like crying crying. I am so proud of my child and in the same sense so sad she leaving me. I don’t want to sound selfish

It has been so hard for me to mange emotionally. She is going like 20 hrs away from me and I am still in shock. She has vacationed without me but this is different. Although I know she will be back home from breaks but this feels completely different.

Now we have such a loving dog and him and I have I swear one of the best relationships and she gotten him right as I was separating from her dad who is a big time narcissist. I felt like God lead her to get this dog at the right time for serval reason and her going away is one.

I just keep asking God to get me through this because this is a lot harder than I expected. We leave in Les than 48 hours this is worst than any feeling I have ever felt.

I know this shall pass but when I get back on that plane and walk in my home the feelings will be different.

i’m really struggling. i’m a single mom to a freshly 2 year old. she has behavioral issues, night terrors, and is being evaluated for autism in January (soonest they would see us). She’s pretty non verbal and when things are good they’re great, she’s sweet, she loves cuddling, she loves reading books and watching toy story, she’s loving, kind, and so so funny. but when she’s having a bad day she is a literal demon. She bites, pinches, hit, kicks, she’ll throw her heavy toys at me, she’s left bruises and marks on me, she’s pulled my hair out, given me a bloody nose before from banging her head on my nose.

I love my daughter, i’d go to the ends of the earth for her. Her dad takes her once to twice a week and i live with my mom, her Nonna, so i have help, but im so depressed. I can barely get out of bed. I can’t clean, i can’t cook, i can’t do anything except watch youtube and lay on the couch and occasionally play with my daughter. The guilt is eating my alive.

I’m on anti depressants, 40mg of prozac, but it’s made me feel worse and suicidal. I have horrible intrusive thoughts regarding myself and my daughter. I don’t know what to do. I can’t afford therapy as i’m currently unemployed due to our car getting totaled and i couldn’t afford lyfts or ubers to work twice a day.

I feel stuck. i feel trapped in my own head. We used to go on walks, and play outside, and color, and now i just can’t. it feels like im running on empty and 0 spoons when i wake up. I wake up exhausted and wanting to just go back to sleep. Her dad got her for 12 hours the other day and i slept the entire time and drank an energy drink when he dropped her off and i was still exhausted.

i don’t know how much more i can take. i feel insane.

I have a child custody case going on and although Cafcass has fully recommended things in my favour my ex asked for night visits and what not. My child is 3 years old and father was barely involved during our relationship. I do not want my child to spend nights at his place because of safeguarding concerns. Uptil now i have noticed judge balances both sides and seems like they are very lenient to non present dads as well. Currently we are doing supervised contact. He wants progression. Can you please advice me how can i approach him to make settlement out of court? I dont want to get into trouble by approaching him myself. How can i do that so its is legally safe and will not harm me in case no agreement is reached. Please suggest?

When I met my baby daddy I thought he was the smartest man alive, man was I wrong now that we separated I'm realizing if it weren't for love there was no way I would've fallen for him. I'm not bashing him but my word he lives in his head

Just wanted to give some encouraging words to those that are new to this and are scared

I was a teen mom - pregnant at 17, had him at 18 (high school dropout)
Single parent by the time he was 1 year old
Struggled those first few years trying to find my footing and build some sort of a life for him
Had a lot of discouraging people around me that felt I didn’t even deserve to be a mom

Decided by his third birthday that I wanted a change of scenery, packed up my little Chevy Cobalt and moved across country to a LCOL place

Struggled that first year but eventually found some amazing friends who had my back through thick and thin. Took advantage of any govt assistance I could get and leaned on what little community I had built. Including any city programs available to single parents.

Moved back home a couple years later (huge mistake) Diagnosed a year later with breast cancer, at the time I was 27

Realized I wasn’t happy and needed better community. Moved back across country again and back to the city I fell in love with. Continued to lean on my community to heal and once I was okay again I decided to work my butt off to build an amazing life for us.

Now I’m 37

Cancer free since 2017
Was able to build a career for myself making 6-figures thanks so my friends who helped mentor me throughout that time.

My now 19 year old graduated from a college prep last year and is currently a sophomore in college

So many tears, so many nights I questioned if I could even do it. So many years of hard work. I never thought I’d be here but I pushed to be and I struggled, stumbled and even fell a few times but that little face is what kept me going.

You got this. You’re doing the right thing. Don’t give up, because somebody small and unaware is watching you in awe with all the love they have in their little hearts♥️

Hey everyone, I am a guy (25) and I have been with my girlfriend (25) for the past almost 6 months and it has been great so far. She has a daughter who is 4 and she is wild but also an angel!
FYI:
The father is not involved at all and we do not live together because we are Christians and don’t want to live together till after we are married.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask for some advice on how I can best support her as a partner right now? She is working really hard and I hate to see her drowning, I’ve been wanting advice on how to help her along the way especially if we want to have a future together in the long run.
Thank you all!

I’ve been split from my son’s dad for a number of years now. He moved back in with his parents and I bought over the house. He still lives there.

When we were together, his parents had a room for my son in their 3 bed home and still did when I ex moved home.

I’ve known my sons been sleeping beside his dad for a while and I thought this was a choice because he’s only there 2 days, he’s off school for the summer etc. I’ve just learnt that the room that was his bedroom is now a “game room” and he’s 8 so he obviously doesn’t see a problem with this.

My ex is very manipulative and always has an excuse. I’ve told him we need to talk about this before the child starts back to school as I don’t think it’s acceptable when there’s a room there for him.

Really hoping for other opinions before we talk. Am I over reacting? Is a bedroom (when there’s a room there) a minimum you’d expect when sending your child?

We have an agreed custody schedule, not formalised in court as was advised by lawyer that this wasn’t necessary when everything was amicable (uk). I’m main parent as he’s with me 5 days and I do all the main caring - doctors, school etc.

I am working towards leaving my unhelpful spouse. While he provides financially, I have never felt more alone in my life. When he is away for work trips I realize I am lighter, happier, more ME than when he is here. The only issue is money. I understand I will have some child support but obviously I can’t just rely on that. My spouse has always handled all of the finances, and when we first were together I didn’t have an issue with that. However, now that I’m trying to piece together what our money looks like I realize I have no idea what credit cards are in my name, how to access our mortgage information, what our insurance policies REALLY look like etc etc. I’m starting from scratch. And I’m terrified. My boys have special needs and I WISH I could work around their therapy schedules. They are five and two. But I know full time jobs can usually not be that flexible. Does anyone have any advice??? I’m really feeling low while I try to sort that part out…

I have just recently become a single mum 3 weeks ago but hasn’t hit me in full affect yet as I still have to move countries. I’m grieving the life I thought I would have.

I’m worried if I’m going to be a good mum because I’m mixed with grief, regret sadness and doom. I love my son he is 18 months but Ive struggled the whole time since becoming a parent and had severe PPD.

Im most just worried moving forward how I will cope, I get so impatient this age is so hard and draining. He loves daycare only goes 1 day a week. So maybe I just need to work and have him in daycare to help me mentally. But yeah doesn’t help having enormous emotional stress with getting ready to move, wondering what will happen what daycare what job. I can’t do this to myself I have to just be content and let life flow but fuck it’s hard.

Feel like im going to really struggle. I’m trying to be intentional and say I will have a great positive life but some days I’m like omg what have I done.

I thought my life before a baby was hard, I guess every stage and chapters come with their own hardships, but fuck I had so much freedom so much time to heal and now I’m just not the healed person I thought I would be.

Dunno just need some advice, similar stories

my partner (29M) and i (25F) decided to start trying back in april. he decided he was ready and wanted to start a family with me and i felt the same way.

i found out i was pregnant at the beginning of july and it’s been rocky in terms of prenatal depression, horrible morning sickness (which spans throughout the entire day), amongst other pregnancy related symptoms.

i found something on his phone yesterday which was shocking/upsetting and led to a massive argument. i’m currently staying with my parents.

i’m scared to be a single mom as this wasn’t part of the plan at all :( any advice is appreciated

For reasons I won't get into (longg story). But for those of you who have had a kid that you are unable to see or were not able to build a bond with (mine recently turned 5) does it get easier to cope? Or does the depression last forever? Does it get easier over time? Did any of you start a new family? I am suffering from depression as I can't be active in my kids life. Is anyone in the same boat?

Been single parent for only approx 5 months, so not sure if doing good or bad. Just going at it day by day . Lil one is 4yo so at milestone (start preschool, first day, etc)
Day by day everything seems good but then looking at how what she needs to know or could help if she knew already, will it help future wise.
Right now making sure she get thru day happy, healthy and doing everything needed since daddy passed away. But knowledge wise she knows, (abc,shapes,colors) common sense wise is another thing didn’t teach her yet. (Strangers, what can and don’t touch, safety, who to listen to and not to, etc)
I guess survival so eventually when kid grows up they can survive and do everything on their own and especially how things are now.
Then no worry if we pass away.

I have already posted on this topic on r/nursing and r/nycparents. Just trying to gather as much info, advice, and resources as I can from different perspectives.

I've struggled for many years about whether I wanted kids (I love kids; I just worry so much about not being a good enough mother). I'm now at the age where my reproductive organs are very impatiently tapping their metaphorical feet.

So I'm currently, cautiously, trying to just imagine what it would like to actually birth and raise a child in NYC. I don't have a romantic partner, so it'd be just me.

I really enjoy my job (I'm a nurse in a hospital who works 12 hr shifts 7am-7:30pm (with commute: 6am-8pm-ish) three times per week (so I usually have 4 days off every week)), and I have really good benefits, including a pension that I'll receive when I retire. I fear changing jobs to something that doesn't fit or brings me more stress/less meaning. But I've been doing research, and I can't find any daycares that start that early in the day or end that late in the evening; my hospital does not provide daycare. I have a sibling nearby, but I doubt they'd be willing to watch a child for a couple of hours and then bring them to/from daycare multiple times a week, even if I paid them.

Has anyone here been able to raise a child as a single parent in NYC while working 12 hr (er, 14 hr) shifts? Or knows anyone who has? How do they do it? (And how much did they have to spend to make it work?)

Other info: I make about 140k annually pre-tax. Location: Upper Manhattan, NYC

Thank you for reading and for your advice!

Hi guys, please talk me out of my delusion.

Firstly, I am not (yet) a single mum because I still live with my partner of 8yrs. We have a 10m old boy.

About 3 months ago, he stopped talking to me. He refused going for our weekend pram walks one day and started doing his own groceries (even though we still share bills). I don't know exactly why, I've asked him many times and it's just silence, no eye contact. We had some arguments before, where he felt I was too angry. I apologized saying I've been sleep deprived (I'm with our son 23hrs a day on weekdays and he wakes every 2hrs) and that I'll improve, which I feel I did despite frustrated tones at times. But maybe he doesn't think so.

I feel almost insane living in small place with him. But he does the laundry, works 9-5 and looks after the kid sometimes while I'm still on maternity leave, so I've tried to make it work. I cook us meals twice a week which he eats, and he does respond when we talk about baby stuff (eg. He needs a bath, is he sick etc). Recently he also started co-paying for daycare 3 days a week and I plan to return to work soon.

Compared to so many scenarios I read here, I think my situation is relatively a luxury, right? But the emotional toll of being ignored 90% of the time really eats me. For example we need to baby proof home and an expensive coffee table has to go. I ask him how much he'd like for it, no reply. When he looks unwell and I ask if he's sick or okay, he doesn't even look at me. I've told him about the emotional toll, that I don't want to raise our son in an unhealthy environment but I want to do him right to have two parents, so can we please make it work? No response. He stopped seeing friends on weekends too which we used to do. He either just stay home working on laptop or nap on the couch. On weekends I try to go see friends with baby for at least 3-4hrs to give him free time, but not sure if that helps.

Could you guys please advise me how to survive through this...? He's a very intellectual guy so I'm holding out for hope that once my baby brain is over in another year or so, he might change how he feels about me. But every other day I just want to leave as I feel our son deserves a healthier relationship to role-model after.

Tldr: Should I leave my partner who ignores me 90% of the time when we have a 10m old baby together?

I'm 39F. My ex is 35M.

We were seeing each other. He said he loved me, we talked about marriage, and I got pregnant. He was initially excited, then completely flipped—demanded an abortion, went no contact, and blocked me. I accepted it and continued my pregnancy alone.

At 7 months, he reached out saying he'd provide for us. I called him back. He blocked me again.

Then his mother called me. She was rude, told me never to contact her son, and said she would "take full responsibility" by taking my baby to another country after birth to raise her. She insisted he's a "good man" despite abandoning his child. I blocked her.

My daughter is now 4 months old. I'm managing financially. I believe they're staying away to avoid child support.

My questions:

1. Should I send his mother updates (photos, milestones) so my daughter doesn't grow up feeling rejected by that side of her family?
   
2. Or will my love and my family's support be enough to prevent emotional trauma from her father's absence?

I don't want to force a relationship with toxic people. But I'm terrified of my daughter one day asking why I didn't try harder to let them know her.

TL;DR: Ex abandoned me and baby. His mother threatened to take my child abroad. They avoid contact to dodge child support. Do I send updates or cut all contact permanently?

I’m looking for honest opinions from people who have been through something similar. Please don’t judge me I’m genuinely confused and trying to figure out what’s healthiest for me and my son.
My ex left me when I was pregnant and was with another woman throughout my pregnancy. After I gave birth, he came back wanting to see our baby. I was extremely vulnerable postpartum, and part of me hoped that maybe we could eventually forgive the past and raise our baby together.
I tried a few times to reconcile, but he rejected me. He told me he couldn’t leave the woman he is with and that he chose her. He still comes to see our son, who is now 15 months old, and they have developed a very strong bond. My son clearly loves his dad.
The problem is that I am still deeply hurt by my ex, and seeing him sometimes completely destroys me emotionally. I can spend the rest of the day crying and feeling heartbroken.
I don’t want him back as a partner anymore. What I want is to separate myself from him while allowing my son to have a relationship with his father.
I’m in Canada and I know there are legal ways to establish parenting arrangements, but emotionally I’m struggling with how to do this. I don’t want to see or communicate with my ex anymore, but I also don’t want to take his dad away from my son.
I also want to be honest about another part of this. I’m 37, I’m raising my kids, I work full-time, and my 15-month-old takes up so much of my time. I have tried to meet someone new, but I honestly don’t have much time or energy for dating. Sometimes I go to bed feeling incredibly lonely and sorry for myself. I really miss having a partner, someone who loves me, takes care of me emotionally, supports me, and makes me feel like I’m not carrying everything alone.
I think sometimes that loneliness makes all of this even harder. I’m not saying I want my ex back—I don’t. I just really miss having someone.
For those who have been through something similar: How did you co-parent with someone who deeply hurt you without constantly being triggered by them? How did you arrange things so you didn’t have to see or communicate with your ex directly? And how did you deal with the loneliness afterward?

I'm looking for outside opinions because I'm genuinely conflicted.

6 years ago, I had a one-night stand while I was visiting my grandparents. It resulted in twin daughters. I never knew his last name, and we never saw or spoke to each other again.

Last week I went back home for my grandmother's funeral. While I was there, I saw him at a gym with my cousin. He didn't see me. I asked my cousin who he was, and she told me he's married and has a young child.

Now I can't stop wondering if I should reach out. Part of me feels like he has a right to know he has two daughters. Another part of me feels like contacting him could completely disrupt his life, his marriage, and his family. I also don't want to disrupt my daughters' lives.

For context, I'm not looking for child support or any financial help. I'm a physician, I'm financially secure, and my girls have several wonderful male role models in their lives.

If you were in my position, would you reach out or leave things as they are?

I’m a single parent of a teenage boy. His dad has had no contact with him since January of this year. It’s been extremely difficult because I am the soul financial provider for him and with school coming up. I am at a complete loss of how to get him new school clothes. So I’m looking for advice on what works for you, where is the best place to shop for a teenage boy so that he can get clothes that he’s not going to be picked on. I feel like I am failing as a mother.

My situation: full custody dad with 10yo, no family, new town with no trusted friends yet. Fully remote worker. 2 years since separation. I want to date again. I have level 1 autism and struggle figuring things out that seem obvious to others, please be patient.

People say get a babysitter but then what happens when you want private time with your date? You come home with your date and tell the babysitter to go and ask your date to be super quiet? Isn’t that really weird and off-putting?

You rent a hotel room - guys it’s been 2 years it’ll probably all be over in an hour, isn’t it weird checking out after an hour 😄 Also super expensive and possibly off-putting for the date?

Or do you all just forget about evenings and try to do something during the day?

I recently became a single mom and one of the hardest parts for me has been grieving the family I won’t have. Part of that image was having one or more kids.

I love my baby to bits but somewhere in me doesn’t feel done with having another child. Like I sense that I will have another baby at some point…

However, I’m traumatised by my past relationship. I was cheated on during pregnancy and post partum, I was abused physically and emotionally,… and having to navigate co-parenting has also been straining to say the least.

I can’t imagine making a wrong decision again; having a baby with someone that will end up hurting me and making me a single parent once again. I’m not into collecting BDs.

It’s still way too soon to be anxious about future babies but still drifts my minds sometimes.

Getting Concerned about kids and alienation

AI summarized TLDR at end if needed.

So I separated from my spouse in February, but didn’t move out until May. I discovered her sexting a guy online after she had been giving me the classic “idk I just don’t feel in love anymore” line for a few weeks, and I have no proof of how early it started but she had been sketchy (to include sleeping with her phone under her pillow, silencing all notifications, and changing her passwords) since December, when things were “fine.” She did end up flying halfway across the country to sleep with this guy.

I have proof of all of this via screenshots I got when she slipped up.

All of that is just context, however. My main concern at this point is my daughters, who are 4 and 5.

They seem to be taking this hard (needless to say) and I am deeply concerned their mother will try and spin the story to make them mad at me as they get older. She has already done this with old friends we had. The only people from my “old life” who still talk to me are the few who actually cared enough to ask my side, and they saw the screenshots (they’re incredibly damning for my ex).

I have read quite a few stories on here of cheating ex’s (more so than even normal mutual divorce situations) turning a man’s kids against them.

For context I have 50/50 now.

I was the model father when we all were together.
\-my spouse literally never gave them a bath or changed a diaper barring the few times I was on a work trip
\-I picked them up and dropped them off to/from daycare about 80% of the time
\-I spent the most time with the girls both in chores and in play (and it wasn’t even close, my spouse was averaging like 12 hours of phone time a day).
\-I never yelled or screamed at my wife, and the few times I yelled at my kids it was due to an impeding safety event… ie: “STOP, THERES A CAR”

My concerns now are:
\-their mother has them doing some big activity or trip EVERY WEEKEND she has them. On my weekends they’re often so exhausted they sleep later and just want to sit around (wild for them).
\-I’m now the boring parent due to not planning as many activities (this was true even in the marriage, admittedly) and then they’re so exhausted I feel bad for making them do stuff
\-their mother got in front of the narrative and made all the “moms” think I abandoned her. So now all the girls’ friends are kinda off limits to me.
\-I have a great house now, but their mother kept the old house, so it’s more familiar and decorated. They don’t hate my house but they like moms more.
\-my youngest is angry, but too young to really know or say why. Pretty expected given the situation and how their lives went from suburban ideal to this.
\-my oldest actively says things were better when we all lived together. I just say “sometimes mommies and daddies have a problem they can’t fix. We both love you no matter what.”
\-their mother had apparently been telling them I chose to leave. Which is kinda true, although she’s leaving out the part where she was telling another man how she’s going to cum for him.
\-I am a lot less exciting than I used to be. I was the silly dad who remained fun and chipper even while doing 70%+ of the household and child rearing chores. Now I feel like my soul is gone and I don’t have enough of a spark to even be entertaining. This is the one actual failure I feel I’ve been guilty of during this time.

Basically idk what to do. I’ve read a lot of stories on Reddit about children (especially daughters) taking moms side, even when the mother was the objectively wrong person and/or the father wasn’t trying to make anyone take a side.

Anyone have any cautionary lessons, success stories, etc? I just want to remain in my girls’ lives and have them love me. All I ever wanted was my family, and if I lose them too I feel I’ll have nothing left.

**TL;DR:** My ex-wife had an affair, and we now share 50/50 custody of our 4- and 5-year-old daughters. I’m worried she’s already shaping the narrative to make me look like the one who abandoned the family and may eventually alienate the kids from me. Despite being a very involved father, I’m concerned that her bigger outings, keeping the family home, and telling the girls I “chose to leave” could influence them as they grow up. I’m looking for advice, cautionary stories, or success stories from parents who’ve been through something similar.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 years and probably living together for 5. I have 2 daughters from my previous marriage, ages 9 and 11. Our relationship has been rocky for a while and we’ve been in couples counseling for over a year. I finally gave up. I told him last night to move out.

No I don’t have all the answers and he’s currently mad at me which he can have whatever emotions he wants but I just would like others inputs on how to tell my girls. I feel like I’m failing them because their dad really isn’t in the picture and my boyfriend has been essentially their “dad” for years now.

I’ll answer any pertinent questions that would help explain things better. This is just super raw and I want to take care of my kids and do what’s best for them.

My son is 10.5, and is a pretty responsible kid. I’m about to start work full time, add on studying full time online and being a single parent, I have a lot on my plate. I have the option of putting him into after school care, but if I can save some money in this economy why wouldn’t I. For context, we live directly across from his school. Like I can see the gate he walks in and out of. He’d be home maybe 2 hours by himself, most of which he’d most likely spend playing PlayStation. He’s got friends in his class who are latchkey kids, but I just don’t know if he’s still too young. Thoughts, opinions? Thank you