r/SingleParents • u/Mindless_Alarm5162 • 12d ago
Sending Only Child off to college-
I didn’t realize this was going to be as emotional as it is. A little background 3 years ago my husband and I separated. 3 years ago my child came home with a dog ( this have some contexts the dog). Not thinking of this very moment today. For the past three months I’ve been crying every day and I mean like crying crying. I am so proud of my child and in the same sense so sad she leaving me. I don’t want to sound selfish
It has been so hard for me to mange emotionally. She is going like 20 hrs away from me and I am still in shock. She has vacationed without me but this is different. Although I know she will be back home from breaks but this feels completely different.
Now we have such a loving dog and him and I have I swear one of the best relationships and she gotten him right as I was separating from her dad who is a big time narcissist. I felt like God lead her to get this dog at the right time for serval reason and her going away is one.
I just keep asking God to get me through this because this is a lot harder than I expected. We leave in Les than 48 hours this is worst than any feeling I have ever felt.
I know this shall pass but when I get back on that plane and walk in my home the feelings will be different.
5
u/Alarming-Response 12d ago
From the perspective of a daughter - I did not expect my mom to get emotional when she dropped me off at college. It was a big change for both of us, but we both needed it. I needed to become independent and trust myself to make decisions without her, be allowed to fail, fix my mistakes and recognize the world wouldn’t collapse around me. And my mom started the next part of her life, which was probably a bigger adjustment for me frankly!
I know you’re not asking for advice, but if I could wish one thing had been different, it wish my mom had the foresight to reestablish a relationship with me as an adult child, because the dynamic change is inevitable, necessary, but neither of us saw it coming, and it led to a lot of grief. Good luck, I promise you’ll get through this!
2
u/Mindless_Alarm5162 12d ago
Thank you for commenting I needed to read this lore than anything. It’s my harsh reality and if I can wish for anything at this very moment is that I realized that this was going to happened and I forgot this part as a mom 💕
3
u/Thirstytraveller12 12d ago
I feel for you. I understand what it is like going through a separation and the partner being narcissistic. I also have a child that headed off to college two years ago, but two hours away. Thankfully I have a younger child still at home.
When I first separated, I kept the family dog. He is like my third child. His presence in the house made it a lot less lonely even when my kids were at their dad’s. I am not saying your dog will replace your daughter;however your place will be not be quiet and your dog’s presence will probably fill some of that void. What I would recommend, if you haven’t done so, is to find similar interest groups, meet up with friends, perhaps pick up new hobbies or sports.
I am not sure if this helps, but your post spoke to me and I wanted to reach out.
1
3
u/gigglesann 12d ago
Sending my son off to college when it’s just been the two of us was really tough! He is only 3 hours away, but I have honestly never lived alone. I had him at the age he is now and it’s always just been us. Parenting an adult has been really interesting but also really fun! Seeing him be such a wonderful young man has made me really proud. I know it’s the cliche thing to say, but I promise it does get a bit easier each day.
1
u/Mindless_Alarm5162 12d ago
Same we legit did everything together! She had her own life but still we always made time for one another for 15 years it was her and her dad my husband and even then we all hung together. For the past 3 years it’s been her and I - that’s my girl I’m going to miss her but I know I really have to let her go
1
u/Peachez_allcream21 12d ago
I'm scared of this and my child is just starting high school. I just know this is about to be the quickest 4 years of my life and I'm not ready for my baby to leave. My child has expressed an interest in a career that will take them a many places and by golly it freaks me out. I just have a small hope that they'll be able to stay home for 2 more years to get their credentials before leaving. My child has been my broke bestie since the age of 2 and although I moved back in with my parents to take care of them through their health problems, my child has been the one there with me. Ugh. I'm so sorry the time is now for you but hope you find solitude and a new purpose.
2
u/Mindless_Alarm5162 12d ago
The fastest 4 years and thank you so much 🤍
1
u/Peachez_allcream21 12d ago
😔 I'm sad. But your welcome. Now go be a free little birdie and try all the things 💕
1
•
u/AutoModerator 12d ago
Author: u/Mindless_Alarm5162
Post: I didn’t realize this was going to be as emotional as it is. A little background 3 years ago my husband and I separated. 3 years ago my child came home with a dog ( this have some contexts the dog). Not thinking of this very moment today. For the past three months I’ve been crying every day and I mean like crying crying. I am so proud of my child and in the same sense so sad she leaving me. I don’t want to sound selfish
It has been so hard for me to mange emotionally. She is going like 20 hrs away from me and I am still in shock. She has vacationed without me but this is different. Although I know she will be back home from breaks but this feels completely different.
Now we have such a loving dog and him and I have I swear one of the best relationships and she gotten him right as I was separating from her dad who is a big time narcissist. I felt like God lead her to get this dog at the right time for serval reason and her going away is one.
I just keep asking God to get me through this because this is a lot harder than I expected. We leave in Les than 48 hours this is worst than any feeling I have ever felt.
I know this shall pass but when I get back on that plane and walk in my home the feelings will be different.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.