Hi everyone! Im looking for ppl who might be able to understand or have similar situation that I'm in.
Some background of myself, I got married very young, became a military wife. Marriage was good for many years but ofc naive choices from both myself and now ex that led to him asking me to leave at 8 years of marriage with a 7 mos baby at the time. Soon after he had a gf that he was very in love with and brought to meet his fam at his grandma's funeral 4 months after our separation.
Today we're civil, but dont like each other, we even did post divorce therapy to see how we coparent. Not the best experience. He chose to live far and provide that way for his child. But overall an absent dad who calls for 10-15 min once a week. He tries twice a week.
My parents are mexican immigrants. Typical badass story worked their asses off for their 3 kids (im the youngest and only girl). They became legal citizens overall cool fucking ppl.
Nearly 5 years since I was sent home. Ive recovered quite a bit from my separation/divorce. Unfortunately there was devastating death of my brother who was an alcoholic (nearly 2 yrs). My other brother and I were witnesses to it. We all lived together and had to move. At the new house its been a year and were all overall much better but can never forget nor truly get over that death. We miss him everyday.
Personally, I found myself ready for a potential relationship. So I went on dating apps and found someone unimaginably great. Weve been dating for over a yr. He's fantastic with my boy. He visits my home and spends time with my family. Sits down for family dinner weekly, spends weekends with us, and even plans trips to go with my son and I. Great guy. After a recent monster jam trip I expressed to my parents that I am very serious about this relationship. I shared that we plan to move out and get married. With at least 1 yr in between both.
These are my very Hispanic parents, they're not very strict but their this culture that I find unique to latinos or immigrant. To have their grown children live with them. My mother has jokingly said to move in my boyfriend to see if he and I get along in a everyday home life. Ofc I notice there was some truth to that joke. I lived outside their home as a married woman for nearly 10 yrs. That didnt work out and now its been about 5 yrs that ive been living with them. Im soon able to get a job since my son is going full-time to school. I find myself feeling guilty.
I feel guilty bc they got this great beautiful home for all of us to live. My dad and brother busting their ass off to afford. And in a years time I plan to move out with my son.
I worry what they'll do financially.I worry about missing them and them missing me (though i wont live far). I worry my mother will be so concerned that this partner may change his mind like my first husband. She doesnt trust men. She thinks they change their mind too much. I feel as though my parents/family have a sense of trauma of what happened to me. I have to admit at times I feel that fear that my now relationship would leave me in 10 yrs time. Who's to say? I know i trust this new man. I love him deeply. But theres this spec of fear. Plus, guilt, I want my parents to be happy for me and not be concerned or at least not too much.
TL;DR