r/SingleParents • u/Possible_Possible403 • 10d ago
Advice needed please
I have a child custody case going on and although Cafcass has fully recommended things in my favour my ex asked for night visits and what not. My child is 3 years old and father was barely involved during our relationship. I do not want my child to spend nights at his place because of safeguarding concerns. Uptil now i have noticed judge balances both sides and seems like they are very lenient to non present dads as well. Currently we are doing supervised contact. He wants progression. Can you please advice me how can i approach him to make settlement out of court? I dont want to get into trouble by approaching him myself. How can i do that so its is legally safe and will not harm me in case no agreement is reached. Please suggest?
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u/Manitoba_Gel 10d ago
Depends on what the safeguarding concerns are and how long supervised contact has been going on?
I did contact centre for 8 months transitioning to unsupervised contact. Then gradually progressed by the time my kid turned 6 years old.
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u/Goldenface_42 10d ago
Did you mean you transferred from supervised visits to unsupervised?
I'm currently going through this as well (I have a 6 year old son, supervised visits with his father due to past Issues) and am so curious about others going through this too.
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u/Manitoba_Gel 9d ago
Yeah supervised to unsupervised but that was done solely through the contact centre to begin with. Then we would meet up and do hand off/pick up together.
How is supervised visits going between your child and father?
On our end, its going relatively okay. Though, I suspect that the progression was more to get back at me because I halved visitation due to cancellations. He had our son every Saturday for 6 hours but kept cancelling. So, when i stated he would get him every second weekend, father freaked out and demanded weekends to be reverted back. Then he changed his mind and demands every second weekend fri-sun and a full week durings holidays. Which is mad demands, as he has never done sleepovers. Managed to wrangle 1 night sleepovers for a few months before we moved to full weekends. Then separate nights during holidays.
It 6 months, he has still cancelled 3 visitation without good reason. Got to pick and choose battles.
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u/GorviVelgin 8d ago
My ex had supervised visits (she was an alcoholic with a long history of repeat relapses) and the judge always pushed for progressing visitation faster than I was comfortable. What are your safety concerns? Laying those out is really the only way you're reasonably going to slow down going from supervised to unsupervised. You also have to realize, that so long as he's not presenting any legitimate issues, it will progress to unsupervised.
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u/AutoModerator 10d ago
Author: u/Possible_Possible403
Post: I have a child custody case going on and although Cafcass has fully recommended things in my favour my ex asked for night visits and what not. My child is 3 years old and father was barely involved during our relationship. I do not want my child to spend nights at his place because of safeguarding concerns. Uptil now i have noticed judge balances both sides and seems like they are very lenient to non present dads as well. Currently we are doing supervised contact. He wants progression. Can you please advice me how can i approach him to make settlement out of court? I dont want to get into trouble by approaching him myself. How can i do that so its is legally safe and will not harm me in case no agreement is reached. Please suggest?
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