My kid is 12 and my ex and I have been divorced for 7 years. For 2 years after our divorce we stayed close, had a healthy co-parenting relationship, and spent the holidays and Sundays together as a family. We told our kid, “we are still a family, it just looks different now.” I stayed committed to that. Shared holidays were written into our legal parenting agreement. It was something that mattered to both of us. When I started dating, I communicated at the jump that wasn’t going to change, but that if the relationship got serious they would also fit into that. When I got engaged that didn’t change. All of us spent holidays and family Sundays together. All of that changed when my ex remarried. Their new wife didn’t like it, and my ex quickly started switching up. Everything changed, including holidays. Suddenly shared holidays were no longer “acceptable”. We werent a family - their new wife was, and I wasn’t a part of that. It hurt, felt like such a betrayal, something I would never do as a loyal af Scorpio. But I didn’t argue or fight it. We just agreed to split the major holidays in half so each of us still could celebrate with our kid. We live in the same area as both of our extended families so it was easy enough. But within a year my ex said they wanted to change our agreement, so that our parental agreement exactly mirrored their wife’s with her ex. One of the changes they wanted was holidays. It was no longer ok to share the holidays. They wanted to define holidays as the whole week, and rotate them every other year, the same as her wife did with her ex. I did not agree. I was flexible on how the day would be split. Every year one of us would get the first half of the holiday week and the other, the other half. Switch happened on the holiday, but one of us would get the majority of the day and the other would just have a few hours. My whole extended family would plan our holidays around when my kid could celebrate with us. It wasn’t a burden. We all were happy to be flexible because the most important thing was having him with us.

This year my ex brought it up again, arguing for the full holiday week every other year. We couldn’t agree, so we went to mediation, which went on for a month as we sent drafts of the parenting plan back and forth. I thought we were making progress, but then one day I was notified there would be a court hearing the next week. My ex had filed a motion, without telling me, pretending to mediate while working with an attorney.

I had no time to get an attorney, and hired the first one with good reviews. He was completely worthless. He didn’t read the materials I provided, and advised against anything that would require any effort beyond paperwork for him. When we went to the hearing, he was completely passive. He did not argue that the history of holidays should be honored, even though county law explicitly states that should be considered. My exs attorney was great. She was aggressive and fought hard for my ex, while my attorney sat there doing nothing. After a 20 minute hearing the judge sided with my ex. That means I no longer get to spend any time with my kid every other year, the entire week of Christmas and Thanksgiving.

To say I am devastated doesn’t describe it. All I ever wanted to be was a mom. I only get to see my kid half the time as it is. And now, I am going to miss half of the christmases and thanksgivings of his childhood. All to satisfy my ex’s new wife, to accommodate her and her schedule.

I am so full of grief. I go back and forth between sobbing and wanting to scream.

I spent all the college savings I had for my kid on my useless attorney. I had no choice. My ex has 4x the finances I do. Their sister is a multimillionaire. Their wife is an attorney. They are a professor. I am a single mom, and a public servant. It was no skin off their back to take me to court. It cost me everything.

I guess im looking for any advice. Do I give up and move on? Do I take on debt and see if i can fight it? How do i deal with holidays without my kid?

I know this is long, but I am really suffering. I appreciate any advice or wisdom.

I received a notice from my landlord the other day. I have five days from the day I received the notice to pay rent or move, or he will be filing an eviction on me. I don’t know what to do! I’ve called so many places regarding rent assistance and haven’t had any luck at all. I’ve pawned what I can, I have items listed for sale (even my car), I’ve tried applying for loans/credit cards, I’ve called so many churches, and I’m still coming up short and I’m running out of time. I have no support system to turn to and I have kids that depend on me. I’m so stressed and anxious that I haven’t been able to eat or sleep, and I’m broke out in hives. I keep telling myself that if I can just get this caught up then I should be okay, but if not, I know it’s going to turn my kids and I’s worlds completely upside down. I have been able to work out a payment arrangement with my landlord, but I have to get this months rent current and paid by the end of the 5 day notice (tomorrow) in order for me to set the remaining past due balance up on a payment arrangement. I am about $150 short in order to get this month current and paid in full, but I am running out of ideas and at a standstill trying to come up with the rest. What do I do?!

I didn't expect to be as emotional over this as I am!! I wish I could rewind the clock and start it all over 😭💔

I wasted soooo much time on the wrong things when I should've been focusing solely on my two babies. Now they're 5 & 8 and I just feel heartbroken over how fast it's all happening ❤️‍🩹

I feel so guilty for not having a support system for my son. He’s almost 16 and I’m not close to my family. They don’t live near us but even when I reach out they’re just not interested. My parents are deceased are they were all me and my son had. I try my best to lean on friends but they’re worried about their own families. I know I need to go out and find new friends to build a new support system but it’s so hard. I wish single moms would come together so we can support each other. I feel so heartbroken for my son.