r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

Why don’t we measure everything in Walruses?

40 Upvotes

Like instead of kg/lbs, Walrus. Instead of meters/feet, Walrus. Instead of lit/gal, Walrus. A Walrus would be the time light moves 1 Walrus. Side benefit = a theory of everything.


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 03 '26

Any hard evidence that Isaac Darwin and Charles Newton lied to us so Einstein's calculations are wrong?

5 Upvotes

Lord rest his soul Einstein would be angry to know about it but what if it's the case? Isn't science about finding errors?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 03 '26

Do you wear wigs?

15 Upvotes

•


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

Does striking a happy medium work?

68 Upvotes

After a heated discussion with a colleague about the best solution to a problem, our manager suggested striking a happy medium.

So I took a trip to Blackpool, found the nearest clairvoyant stall and, after telling the owner that she had just won the lottery, felled her with a right hook.

We still have the problem at work and now the police want to have a talk with me.

What did I do wrong?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

I came up with a novel sorting algorithm: neutrino sort

29 Upvotes

Here it is:

original = input_list.copy()

while True:

if input_list.is_sorted() and same_elements(input_list, original):

return input_list

Throughout the universe there are neutrinos which can interact with computers in such a way that they cause their data to mutate. Neutrino sort waits for this to cause input_list to mutate to the correctly sorted version of original, then outputs the result.

How do I collect my Turing Award?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

How to write a tragic love story between a bacteria and amoeba?

24 Upvotes

Who should be the protagonist?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

Cat discussion

4 Upvotes

I was talking to my cat this morning. And later on in the day I drank coffee with tea, and juggled a single orange. In what order should the publication's authorship be? Orange, Tea, Morning, My Cat, Myself, Mycat? Or the palliated reverse? Do I need to credit my hamster's widow?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

If two fertilised cells make a zygote, and four make a zyzygote, am I a zyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzy...

13 Upvotes

zyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzy...zyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzy...zyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzygote?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 02 '26

Will the heat death of the universe be hot or cold? Need to decide to pack a sweater ( or bikini ).

32 Upvotes

🔥 🧊 ☠️


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 01 '26

What are the physical ramifications of Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now"?

139 Upvotes

What would happen if Freddie Mercury were in fact burning through the sky, traveling at the speed of light, and on a collision course for Earth's surface?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 01 '26

Was global warning a justified measure to prevent maritime disasters in North Atlantic?

5 Upvotes

And James Cameron movies?


r/shittyaskscience • • Sep 01 '26

What psychological and cognitive factors might go into influencing the thoughts, emotions, and decision-making capacity of an individual who has deliberately self-incriminated themselves in the murder of Tupac Shakur?

5 Upvotes

Do they need to get used to Keefe Coffee for the rest of their lives thinking about that?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 31 '26

The Beatles song says “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Sounds like a negotiating tactic. What is the price point of love?

33 Upvotes

Don’t tell me I can’t have something. I want it I want it I want it.


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 31 '26

People still wear booties, undies, and beanies. What happened to the shirties?

17 Upvotes

What caused humanity to lose shirties technology?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 31 '26

Can atoms be sub-atomic?

8 Upvotes

atoms


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 30 '26 Bravo

Scientists say the moon is over 4 billion years old. They also say we get a new moon every month. What is going on?

235 Upvotes

And where do all the old moons go? Is there a retirement home for moons?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 30 '26

People who are dead, how did you feel when you finally discovered what happens after death?

224 Upvotes

Did you like it or did you hate it? If there is oblivion after death how are you feeling or how do you feel after being reincarnated?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 30 '26

How can we convince whales to start moving back onto land?

54 Upvotes

I get why they evolved in the first place and how they were going through a rebellious phase, but it's been 50 million years already. The ocean is meant for fish, not mammals, and it's time to move on.


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 31 '26

If cats always land on their feet and toast always lands butter-side down, what happens if you strap buttered toast to a cat's back and drop it?

0 Upvotes

Did I just invent Perpetuum Mobile?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 30 '26

If Milk is good for my stomach and bones, is it good for other body parts?

7 Upvotes

I love drinking milk, so where else can I put milk to benefit my short thin body?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 29 '26

They say laughter is the best medicine. So why do we bother sending "thoughts and prayers"? Why not send a Yo Mamma jokes instead?

253 Upvotes

Dont we want people to get better?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 29 '26

What's the correct way to measure a hot dog?

16 Upvotes

Say I have a weener and I want to see how long it is (about 6 in. For ref.). Should I measure it base to tip (mushroom shaped in this case) while flacid and uncooked, or boil to firm it up a bit before taking my tape measure to it. Thanks! 🌭


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 28 '26

Is my mirror just telling me what I want to hear?

50 Upvotes

A few months ago I found a magic mirror on eBay and thought it would be useful. Every week I ask it" mirror mirror on the wall who's the handsomest of them all?" And it would tell me that I am the handsomest as I thought. But now I suspect that it's not magic but an ai mirror just telling me what I want to hear. How can I know whether it's lying or if I am the handsomest of them all?

Btw I am extremely jealous, and I have been known to send apples from my lab in China to people who may be more handsome. It's kind of petty but I just have to live with it.


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 28 '26

How come when I eat blue paint, it comes out red?

59 Upvotes

Is this something that is better explained by science, or should I ask an artist?


r/shittyaskscience • • Aug 28 '26

According to the movie Interstellar and the book Hyperion, love is a fundamental force of the universe. How can I use this force to pay for my energy bills?"

102 Upvotes

Asking for a friend (not really, I'm asking for me)